Community Conversation > Transsexual talk

Did you play with girls or boys as a child?

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PurpleWolf:
A thread I always wanted to make:
Did you play with girls or boys as a kid? Or with both? Or mostly with girls/boys?

General ideas:

Were you bullied as a kid? In general? For your gender expression? For the way you played?

Were you accepted in either group?

Did you feel you didn't fit in as a kid?

Were you uncomfortable in either group? Or in both? In which ways?

Did you play 'typical' games or with 'typical' toys for either gender? Were you a tomboy? Or a total 'femboy'  ;D?

Did you socially isolate from other children? Were you a loner? If so, why did you prefer it this way? Are you an introvert by character or was this just bcos of social seclusion...?

How would you describe yourself as a child? Boisterous? Rowdy? Quiet? Sensitive?

How did your dysphoria show through play and interaction with other children? Did you want to emulate certain behavior? Or repress something? Were you angry? Or just shut-down?

Were you allowed to express gender non-conforming behavior as a child? By your parents and relatives? Teachers? Other children or adults...?

Or did you grow up sort of gender neutrally? Was gender not really inforced on you?

Did having siblings play a part in the types of toys you had access to or the games you played? (Btw there is a thread about siblings in general already: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,231263.msg2056553.html#msg2056553)

And an extra question I'd like for you to answer:
If you could change one thing about your childhood, what would that be?

PurpleWolf:

Myself:

I tried to play with boys but they usually bullied me so I mostly just ended up playing with girls. I felt dysphoric and frustrated because the boys didn't wanna play with me, but I've always been very social so I played with the girls then. I only had two much older sisters so there were no boy toys or boy clothes in the house. My mom tried to make me the girliest girl possible and shamed me for wanting boy toys or stuff.

I was bullied since I was like 3-4. I didn't fit in either group really. I despised the girls for certain things they liked to do I had absolutely zero interest in (like barbies, or hairdresser play), but then I desperately tried to fit in with them. The best example of this would be that when we were 6, the boys used to collect hockey cards and the girls stickers. I had no interest in sports in general, let alone hockey, so I chose the stickers - though they didn't really interest me either :P. I made my mom buy me a sticker book then, and I consciously was aware that was just a desperate move to fit in with the 'other girls'. As for stickers though, I saw the coolest dinosaur stickers and wanted those xD. Well the first day I brought it with me, the girls bullied me. Another desperate attempt was to ask for a barbie :P. Just to fit in. Though I knew I had no interest in them and actually despised them. But thought that... maaaybe I could make myself like them?

When school started I wanted to walk home with two boys who lived nearby, and it went like this: When no one could see, they agreed to walk with me. When there were others in that corridor, they acted like they didn't know me and like I had asked the most outrageous thing imaginable! And outright bullied me. So that was definitely interesting...

I always had like one closer boy friend as a kid. And would invite him then to my bday party. I got furious when once my mom suggested I should invite another boy too so he wouldn't feel that 'alone' among just girls :P. I felt angry coz surely I was there! Plus I guessed they would've bullied me on my bday if I had invited more than one.

Later on, when I was around 12+ we hung out as a group that also consisted of boys. I always felt most at ease when interacting with boys. But all my friends were basically girls. The boys would never invite me over or come to visit me. 

I wasn't really allowed to be gender non-conforming in any way. And very strict gender norms were enforced on me at home and at school etc. I was a very depressed, zombie-like child who was constantly embarrassed by the way he was. I was an abnormal child by every standard, mostly bcos my mom kept scaring me to death and forbade me from doing anything normal children normally do. So I wasn't even the typical 'girl child' - I was an atypical child in every aspect! I mostly just had dolls and soft toys to play with, so I played with them then. And I had a huge imaginary world inside my head to cope with reality.

On the outside I was an atypically mellow and repressed child with perfect conduct. On the inside though, and with friends, I was more rowdy and had a dirty sense of humor and I dry humped my (girl) friend at 9..... Mostly I was scared of my own shadow though, bcos of my psycho mom, and had bunch of phobias and convinced I'd die at any second. And then I was ashamed of myself for not being 'normal' like the other children and unable to enjoy anything fun.

So I wasn't exactly a tomboy - but then felt embarrassed that I wasn't :P. It was jarring to not be allowed to be myself or express myself freely as a kid plus being emotionally (and physically) abused on top of that.

Despite all that at 13 I concluded I was a boy and stopped giving a flying fick for anything. I was deeply traumatized though and it only got worse in my teens when my family treated me like <not allowed>. Also after that realization started my social seclusion bcos then I totally didn't fit in with anyone! The boys bullied me or totally ignored me or were uncomfortable around me... and I did have zero in common with teenage girls, so...! In school I used to sit alone, in the middle, while the girls sat on the other side and boys on the other side of the classroom. I pretty much stopped having friends at this point. And would only hang out with my best friend, my future spouse.

If I could change one thing about my childhood, genderwise, it would surely be this:
I'd get to freely choose my toys and clothes. And receive that boy bicycle I wanted at 9. And that T-rex toy I wanted at 6 for xmas. And that action-man I so much wanted once, and... And all those radio-controlled cars and legos and car and train tracks and water guns I only saw in ads that made me numb and miserable..... Thanks mom, for making my childhood a small hell! And despite all your efforts I still identified as a boy at 13...! So it was all in vain. I've never felt that numb (figuratively) than on that xmas at 6 when I got that baby born instead of that dinosaur I had talked about for weeks. You kinda crushed my heart with that decision and made me realize I'd never get anything 'boyish'. So I dissociated myself from a part of myself that xmas. But numb zombies are easier to control, huh?! You beat my self-esteem out of me, robbed my identity and shamed me for my sense of self. And humiliated me with bows and lacy stuff. It was in everywhere - in my pillowcase, in my curtains, my clothes...

I was also a child of suppressed anger. My life might've seemed rather happy on the outside, but I wasn't a happy child, let me guarantee you.

epvanbeveren:
1 = I played with girls until I was told to no longer do that at probably 7 or 8 years of age.
2 = I eventually knew I did not fit in, but not at what age, teenager yes.
3 = Slightly bullied for behaving in a feminine way, but didn't thought I was that way because it felt normal to me.
4 = After a while I did feel uncomfortable being around guys and girls.
5 = I played with both boy and girl toys, however I loved Barbie's. I wasn't allowed to have Barbie's so I had Lone Ranger and GI Joe dolls. Then I asked mom a Barbie because my boys dolls needed a girlfriend. That excuse didn't work. :(
6 = I was a loner.
7 = I was quiet.
8 = I wasn't thinking about gender dysphoria per se, as I didn't know anything about transgender issues. I was however very scared of my male part, thinking it will come off and somehow disappear. (It did but not until 10 months ago. :) )

SallyChoasAura:
I was bullied as a child for many reasons... I was mostly friends with boys and was a tomboy. I didn't really feel like a girl all the time and preferred to wear boy clothes. I was bubbly when I was really little but when I hit 1st grade I started being bullied more and more causing me to become shy and sad.

Julia1996:

--- Quote from: PurpleWolf on July 27, 2018, 11:33:36 pm ---A thread I always wanted to make:
Did you play with girls or boys as a kid? Or with both? Or mostly with girls/boys?

General ideas:

Were you bullied as a kid? In general? For your gender expression? For the way you played?

Were you accepted in either group?

Did you feel you didn't fit in as a kid?

Were you uncomfortable in either group? Or in both? In which ways?

Did you play 'typical' games or with 'typical' toys for either gender? Were you a tomboy? Or a total 'femboy'  ;D?

Did you socially isolate from other children? Were you a loner? If so, why did you prefer it this way? Are you an introvert by character or was this just bcos of social seclusion...?

How would you describe yourself as a child? Boisterous? Rowdy? Quiet? Sensitive?

How did your dysphoria show through play and interaction with other children? Did you want to emulate certain behavior? Or repress something? Were you angry? Or just shut-down?

Were you allowed to express gender non-conforming behavior as a child? By your parents and relatives? Teachers? Other children or adults...?

Or did you grow up sort of gender neutrally? Was gender not really inforced on you?

Did having siblings play a part in the types of toys you had access to or the games you played? (Btw there is a thread about siblings in general already: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,231263.msg2056553.html#msg2056553)

And an extra question I'd like for you to answer:
If you could change one thing about your childhood, what would that be?

--- End quote ---

I played with girls mostly. There were a couple of boys I played with but after the age of 7-8 they started playing typical boy play and I lost interest in playing with them. As I got older my relationship with some boys got a little strange. When I was in Jr high and high school I started playing with boys sexually. At school I totally ceased to exist to those guys. They didn't bully me or anything they totally ignored me. My feelings never got hurt by that though. I was far more interested in playing with them sexually than having them as friends. That sounds so slutty I know. I will admit I was a little hoe. You might be asking how kids that young would even do that. Teenage boys are hyper horny. If there is a possibility of them getting oral sex and the person giving it to them looks pretty much like a girl they are very willing. Though when I was 14 my dad caught me giving a boy oral which was a little awkward to say the least.

I was bullied a lot. When I was very young other kids teased me because I'm albino. When I was older I got bullied for being so feminine. And in Jr high and high school I was teased for both.

When I was young I was accepted by girls but after about age 10-11 girls didn't really accept me. Boys never accepted me. They couldn't understand me and my behavior was alien to them as theirs was to me.

I was uncomfortable with boys. Their style of play and their attitudes were alien to me and they would always quickly realize that and bully me.

I totally didn't fit in with boys and I didn't try to. I never had any desire to try and fit in with boys.

I was very feminine and so was my play style.

Yes I was pretty isolated after about age 12. I didn't have any friends and the fact I couldn't really go outside increased my isolation. My dad wouldn't let me spend more than 20 minutes outside during the day. He was afraid I would get a sunburn which would lead to skin cancer. I always wore sunscreen and long sleeves and a hat when I did go outside but some UV still gets through sunscreen and clothes and my skin has absolutely no protection of it's own. I would have been very lonely but my brother always did things with me and he always tried to include me in anything he did indoors.

As a child I was both quiet and sensitive.

I expressed my dysphoria by always playing the female role when I played with other kids.

Yes I was allowed to express myself. My dad never tried to force male behavior on me. He would sometimes suggest things but after I ignored his suggestions he never tried to push it. My mom would try to push male behavior on me but my dad wouldn't let her do that very much. He would tell her to leave me alone. That actually caused a lot of friction between them.

Yes I did grow up gender neutrally. My dad let me wear gender neutral clothes in whatever colors I wanted and he let me have shoulder length hair. He or my brother never tried to force masculinity on me.

No, having an older brother didn't really effect the toys I played with. I never wanted to play with any of his stuff. When I did get a boy gift from someone I gave it to my brother. If it was something he didn't want I threw it in the trash. After my dad caught me doing that and yelling at me for it I would give any unwanted boy gifts to him. I don't know what he did with them. Gave them to some police program for needy kids I would imagine.

What would I change about my childhood?  I would choose to have been born a girl of course.

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