Community Conversation > Transsexual talk

Did you play with girls or boys as a child?

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Kymmie Lorain:
Once I moved towards the end of 4th grade until 9th grade I was bullied. It was for what I was different from the others. Possibly perceived as slightly feminine. Not one of the guys.

I had few friends most where 3-5 years younger. both girls and boys.

In school I was a motorhead and didn't fit in with any group. People knew me by my car not me.

It seemed like I played with normal boy toys, Cars. Typical games no.

I was a shy quite kid. just wanted to be left alone.

 Oh, Yeah I was a loaner for the most part.

I did display feminine traits.

If I could change anything. I would came out as female long time ago.


What an odd set of questions!

I was born in the early 1950s, so childhood was a thing of the 1950s and early 1960s.  Many here may not relate to this era at all.

I preferred to associate and play with girls.  When that wasn’t possible, I preferred to be by myself, engaged in solitary activities such as model building or reading.  When forced to associate with boys, the interactions were poor.  I was bullied, and abused in a variety of ways.  (This being the 1960s it was not talked about, considered impossible, etc.)

I tended to be quite solitary.

Tara P:
Thanks for making this thread.  :)  It's always interesting hearing about other people's experiences.

Did you play with girls or boys as a kid? Or with both? Or mostly with girls/boys?
I played with both when I was younger but never had a ton of friends.  I mostly played with a girl who lived in the same neighborhood and a boy who lived there too.

Were you bullied as a kid? In general? For your gender expression? For the way you played?
I was bullied a little bit.  Not really for gender expression at that point.  More for just being generally strange and not doing typical boy stuff.  I've always been pretty tall and I think that did help me not get bullied as much.

Were you accepted in either group?
With boys not really other than a few random friends over the years.  When I was younger girls seemed pretty accepting, but at a certain point everyone seems to realize we are no longer "supposed" to be friends with people of the opposite gender.

Did you feel you didn't fit in as a kid?
I never really fit in anywhere.  About the closest to fitting in was just hanging out with some other outcasts, but we were all outcasts for different reasons.  I always liked the goth kids even though I wasn't one.  They at least could wear cool (or bad) makeup without caring what people thought, something I still can't do publicly!

Were you uncomfortable in either group? Or in both? In which ways?
Boys made me uncomfortable because basically none of their social behavior made any sense to me.  Lacking any real display of emotions, being mean as a form of bonding, constantly worrying about being tough or one-upping each other.  I was more comfortable with girls for sure but past a certain age it was just hard to find many of them to hang out with.

Did you play 'typical' games or with 'typical' toys for either gender? Were you a tomboy? Or a total 'femboy'  ;D?
A lot of my play was just creating weird projects or art and imagining things.  As far as toys mostly boys stuff particularly action figures.  I did play with my sister's barbies and stuff a little bit too but even some of that was secretive because my parents made it clear that wasn't something I was supposed to do.  I was really into videogames from a young age too.

Did you socially isolate from other children? Were you a loner? If so, why did you prefer it this way? Are you an introvert by character or was this just bcos of social seclusion...?
Definitely a loner.  I'm introverted by character but also was forced to be more introverted and isolated than I would have liked, which is still true if I'm being honest.  I just never really felt like anyone understood me and found social cliches puzzling in their homogeneity.

How would you describe yourself as a child? Boisterous? Rowdy? Quiet? Sensitive?
Quiet and sensitive.  I would have some occasional "outbursts" where I would just question the reason for things out loud, which I was already doing in my head all the time.  I learned asking real probing questions was very much frowned upon though.

How did your dysphoria show through play and interaction with other children? Did you want to emulate certain behavior? Or repress something? Were you angry? Or just shut-down?
I never wanted to emulate behavior, especially stereotypical boy behavior, but I felt sort of forced into making an attempt at it.  I was never any good at most of that stuff though so in the end I think I just shut down and disconnected more than anything.

Were you allowed to express gender non-conforming behavior as a child? By your parents and relatives? Teachers? Other children or adults...?
I only got "caught" a couple times but it was very clear to me this wasn't acceptable behavior, so I became really good at hiding it in private.  We had a bunch of old stuff in storage too that no one ever checked so it was really easy to just hide stuff in there.

Or did you grow up sort of gender neutrally? Was gender not really inforced on you?
It was pretty strongly enforced especially past a certain age probably 8-10 years old.  Before that it seemed more acceptable to just be more carefree and creative, and even play with *GASP* girls.

Did having siblings play a part in the types of toys you had access to or the games you played? (Btw there is a thread about siblings in general already:
I had an older sister so I was able to play with some of her stuff although beyond a very young age I mostly hid that too.  Barbies of course, but she also had paper dolls where you could mix and match fashions.  I remember she had some shopping board game that was basically femme-opoly too.

And an extra question I'd like for you to answer:
If you could change one thing about your childhood, what would that be?
Part of me thinks it's part of who I am so I shouldn't change it.  The other part of me really wishes I had figured out some of this stuff MUCH sooner.  I blame myself for some of that but I also know our society doesn't give most young people to knowledge or information to properly address this stuff.  Our sex ed classes barely even explained anything about straight cis-gender sex, let alone any other sexual orientations, let alone different gender expressions.

I was forced to wear girls dresses sneakers and make up including lipstick as a little boy my sister and her best friend played dress up on me.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Boys….my parents weren’t gonna buy me any of that stuff even if I wanted it back then.  I was a gamer.  Luckily for me I was a gamer which was and still is gender neutral. 


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