Community Conversation > Transsexual talk

Did you play with girls or boys as a child?

<< < (2/8) > >>

KathyLauren:
Did you play with girls or boys as a kid? Or with both? Or mostly with girls/boys?
I suppose I could say boys, because I had two brothers, but the honest answer is that I didn't play much.  I had no playmates outside of the family.  As a young kid (< 5), I wasn't allowed off the block, and there were no kids my age on our block.  From 5-10, we lived in a 4th floor walk-up apartment.  I wasn't allowed down to ground level except to go to school, and there were no other kids in the building. 

I don't remember doing much at school recess except to hang out with the other uncool kids.  Though the school was co-ed, recess was segregated, so there was no opportunity to play with girls.  And only this moment, as I type this, am I aware of the significance of that!  Another of those 20/20 hindsight clues.

Reading that now, it sounds tragic.  I don't remember it being all that bad.  I was just aware that I didn't fit in.

Were you bullied as a kid? In general? For your gender expression? For the way you played?
I was bullied in general for no particular reason, it seemed.  In hindsight, probably I was perceived as different.

Did you feel you didn't fit in as a kid?
Hell, yeah!

Were you uncomfortable in either group? Or in both? In which ways?
I don't remember ever feeling comfortable, except with the other uncool boys.

Did you play 'typical' games or with 'typical' toys for either gender? Were you a tomboy? Or a total 'femboy'  ;D?
I tried my best to keep a low profile.  The only playground game I remember was "Japs and Americans", presumably some kind of WWII reenactment.  Since I had no knowledge of Pacific theatre history, it was a mystery to me, so I didn't participate.  I'd sometimes sabotage the game by turning up the brim of my cap (the "uniform" of those playing Japanese soldiers) and then refusing to "die" when someone "shot" me.  >:-)

Did you socially isolate from other children? Were you a loner? If so, why did you prefer it this way? Are you an introvert by character or was this just bcos of social seclusion...?
I hung out with a couple of nerdy boys.  We didn't do much playing.  Just talking.  I don't think I preferred it, but it was all a misfit kid could do.  I do think now that I am probably on the autism spectrum.

How would you describe yourself as a child? Boisterous? Rowdy? Quiet? Sensitive?
Everyone always said I was "quiet", and I was.  I would add sensitive, but I learned the hard way never to let on.

How did your dysphoria show through play and interaction with other children? Did you want to emulate certain behavior? Or repress something? Were you angry? Or just shut-down?
I was totally repressed and shut-down.  I was only aware of wanting to be a girl in my most private daydreams.

Were you allowed to express gender non-conforming behavior as a child? By your parents and relatives? Teachers? Other children or adults...?
Absolutely not!!  It would have been unthinkable.  We are talking late 50s, early 60s.

And an extra question I'd like for you to answer:
If you could change one thing about your childhood, what would that be?
Everything. :'(

LexieDragon:
Honestly. I played with both, more so towards the girls when younger. But when I got older the girls didn't want to play anymore so I had to find male friends. This was honestly very difficult. At any given time I would typically only have one or two actual close males friends.

Fortunately, during later high school years, I was able to start having close non romantic female friends as well. So I found a slight balance that would last through college.

I was in Boy Scouts and marching band and excelled at both. I honestly liked being in scouts but I often felt out of place.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

LexieDragon:
Sorry. Submitted before finishing.

I was allowed to play with pretty much what every I wanted and had a very large my little pony collection. Mind you this was in the 80s. However I also had a lot of transformers and the like. But now, thinking back, I realize that I really just liked the engineering of the transformers. I didn't play transformers in the way that the show went. There were no autobot/deception battles in my house.





Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

MeTony:
I was a tomboy with large BOY letters. I played with boys. Girls thought I was scary for some reason.

I have ADHD and Tourette’s syndrome. That made me quite wild as a child. I had a tornado in me. I climbed everywhere and was out playing soccer, running, jumping, playing Karate Kid and Rambo in the forest. Riding my bike, doing not so good stuff, like breaking into the sewer for adventure among rats as big as cats.

In grade school, until 12 years of age, girls and boys were separated in sports class. I was counted as one of the boys at all lessons. I had a great teacher.

I was one of the boys until 7’th grade. 13 years old. My chest grew out. Never bullied, but I became an outcast. Did not belong anywhere. Became a loner. I had a few friends in several different gangs but it was accepted that I floated in between for some reason.

I was once ”executed” in school by a boy with a gun. He put the gun in my face and held it there for about a minute and then pulled the trigger. In was empty. I did not even blink or twitch an eye. I just thought, thank you, end this misery. But that did not happen. He said I had his respect now, I was not afraid of anything. Stupid game.

Toys I played with...action figures from Star Wars, Spiderman and Hee-man. Cars. Lots of cars, lego and I disambled every electronic toy or gadget I got and put it back together. They still worked! I read comic books. I hated reading books, due to my ADHD. I can’t concentrate.


I was pretty much allowed to be myself. But every time someone stepped on me and my right to be myself I exploded in rage. I never accepted anyone to bully me or tease me. They got beaten up by me. Noone steps on me. Not even my dad. He beat me until I hit him back at age 14. Then he never laid a hand on me again.

Something I’d change... I wish I had known what transgender is much much earlier.




Tony

meatwagon:

--- Quote from: PurpleWolf on July 27, 2018, 11:33:36 pm ---A thread I always wanted to make:
Did you play with girls or boys as a kid? Or with both? Or mostly with girls/boys?
--- End quote ---
both, though because of interference from my family, i was never able to be as close with my male friends.


--- Quote ---General ideas:

Were you bullied as a kid? In general? For your gender expression? For the way you played?
--- End quote ---
i was bullied, just in general, off and on throughout my childhood.  i assume for being "weird", not that i was really any stranger than any other kid my age, but the less friends you have, the more you stand out.  i don't recall gender-related things ever being a part of it, though.


--- Quote ---Were you accepted in either group?
--- End quote ---
until around 5th grade, gender was never seen as an issue for me or my friends and i was almost always in mixed groups.


--- Quote ---Did you feel you didn't fit in as a kid?
--- End quote ---
it didn't really become an issue until later, around 5th grade again, that i started feeling like an outcast.


--- Quote ---Were you uncomfortable in either group? Or in both? In which ways?
--- End quote ---
i was either comfortable with everyone or not comfortable with anyone through most of my childhood, just depending on how i was treated. 


--- Quote ---Did you play 'typical' games or with 'typical' toys for either gender? Were you a tomboy? Or a total 'femboy'  ;D?
--- End quote ---
i never cared about things like baby dolls and playing house, but i wasn't allowed to engage in rough play, so i mostly settled for pretend games and making stories with toy animals.


--- Quote ---Did you socially isolate from other children? Were you a loner? If so, why did you prefer it this way? Are you an introvert by character or was this just bcos of social seclusion...?
--- End quote ---
if i was isolated, it wasn't by choice unless i was avoiding the types of people who had picked on me.  my interests included "solo" things like art/drawing, so that contributed to me being alone a lot of the time, but i've never actually been an introvert.


--- Quote ---How would you describe yourself as a child? Boisterous? Rowdy? Quiet? Sensitive?
--- End quote ---
all of the above.  it just depended on my mood, my company, and what i was doing at the time.


--- Quote ---How did your dysphoria show through play and interaction with other children? Did you want to emulate certain behavior? Or repress something? Were you angry? Or just shut-down?
--- End quote ---
mostly it just came in the form of all my pretend characters being male.  i did what i wanted for the most part, since the other kids didn't care about whether something was for "boys" or "girls" and neither did i.  it was only when adults said i couldn't do certain things that i would feel bad, but i was taught never to question authority so i'd always just let it go and do something else that i could enjoy.


--- Quote ---Were you allowed to express gender non-conforming behavior as a child? By your parents and relatives? Teachers? Other children or adults...?
--- End quote ---
my family didn't allow anything gender non-conforming, except for my grandfather (whose opinions didn't count for much in the household) and my father (who i only saw on occasional weekends or less).  teachers didn't have much to say and neither did other children.


--- Quote ---Or did you grow up sort of gender neutrally? Was gender not really inforced on you?
--- End quote ---
at home, it was enforced very firmly but subtly up until i moved in with my mom and stepdad, after which it was enforced more loudly and harshly. 


--- Quote ---Did having siblings play a part in the types of toys you had access to or the games you played? (Btw there is a thread about siblings in general already: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,231263.msg2056553.html#msg2056553)
--- End quote ---
i didn't have any siblings (at least none that lived with me, until my sister was born when i was 12), so i only had access to "boys' toys" when i was out playing with friends or other relatives.  i always wondered why, but never questioned it out loud. 


--- Quote ---And an extra question I'd like for you to answer:
If you could change one thing about your childhood, what would that be?
--- End quote ---
does "my family" count as just one thing?  the fact that i never stood up to them/stood up for myself to almost anyone throughout my life because it was beaten into my head that i mustn't.  i don't actually think things would have been better for me if i had, maybe they'd have even been worse, but at least i'd feel better about myself for it.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page