Author Topic: Does the "turn on" matter for those thinking of transition? How much?  (Read 1010 times)

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Offline MissKatie

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Re: Does the "turn on" matter for those thinking of transition? How much?
« Reply #20 on: September 26, 2018, 11:13:11 pm »
I dont find putting on clothing at all erotic but putting in lipstick does make me aroused a bit.
It is an erogenous zone after all and it links in my mind to kissing which is the most erotic thing you can do in my head.

Offline TabbyTT

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Re: Does the "turn on" matter for those thinking of transition? How much?
« Reply #21 on: September 30, 2018, 02:10:55 am »
My personal experience is that to express femininity, whether by clothes or makeup, or whatever means is a sensual experience.  Sensuality definitely adds to sexuality.

Earlier in life, when hampered by fear, self doubt and lack of confidence, or other restrictions like time, the duration of my experimentation with expression tended to be brief, and also tended toward the sexual.  In that context, I believe the drive for sexual relief may be influenced by the need for an instant strong emotional synthesis of the experience.

Once I had the luxury of being able to take my time, and finding more confidence in my presentation, the sensuality remained, but the sexuality that used to accompany it, started drifting more into the background.  It can occasionally still rear its head, but has definitely lost its urgency.

Offline Kiera

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Re: Does the "turn on" matter for those thinking of transition? How much?
« Reply #22 on: September 30, 2018, 08:53:21 am »
She is happy. I also have a sexual component to my dressing. I also have dysphoria. How much do you think the sexual component matters?

Short answer? Very much so. Blanchard's a idiot (mods: can I say that?) what would a man know about any woman's motivations regarding dress choices?
"But it's no use now," thought poor Alice, "to pretend be two people!
"Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!"

Offline Virginia

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Re: Does the "turn on" matter for those thinking of transition? How much?
« Reply #23 on: September 30, 2018, 09:55:28 am »
My trauma therapist explained that people often mistake masturbation as being tied  to sexuality. Children also do this for pleasure, to learn about their body and as a way comfort themselves. I am a survivor of childhood psychological and sexual abuse with Dissociative Identity/Multiple Personality Disorder. My mind developed a female alter to cope with the abuse. Womens clothing and makeup are the norm for her. Another part of my mind is triggered into sexual arousal by them.  She has dressed this way 2 days a week for nearly ten years.  A complex response intertwined with having been forced to wear my grandmother's clothes when I was raped, the sexual response only comes on a handful of time a year. I am not far enough along in therapy to understand the circumstances that trigger it.

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Offline KathyLauren

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Re: Does the "turn on" matter for those thinking of transition? How much?
« Reply #24 on: September 30, 2018, 11:48:46 am »
I knew a post-op who told me she used to get off looking at clothing magazines. Now, post-surgery, she just looks at the clothes. She is happy. I also have a sexual component to my dressing. I also have dysphoria. How much do you think the sexual component matters? Trying to peel back the layers.
Certainly, there used to be an erotic component when I cross-dressed.  Having male plumbing and hormones and seeing a woman in the mirror will do that.  But I quickly realized that that's not what it was really about.  I felt good about dressing, quite independently of the erotic component.  And that, in turn, was a clue that eventually led me to conclude that I was trans.

Once I had recognized myself as trans and was dressing part-time, pre-HRT, the erotic component was gone.  I was just dressing properly.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change

Offline Alice (nym)

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Re: Does the "turn on" matter for those thinking of transition? How much?
« Reply #25 on: October 19, 2018, 04:48:54 am »
I used to get aroused while I dressed but then I will just let it go away and I can relax. I found that masturbation allowed me to control the dysphoria but it came at the price of guilt and shame. So often the two were linked - dressing, need for release, shame and guilt. Often purges of clothing and any trans related articles I had collected would occur at these times.

However, since this all exploded on me, I've had zero sex drive. I just don't want to touch it. My dysphoria has never been so strong as it is right now and every day I feel it getting worse.

But, when my daughter was born and I held her for the first time, I got an erection and I got an erection almost constantly for the first 2 weeks. It had nothing whatsoever to do with sex or being turned on. It was simply my body reacting to the joy I felt. So perhaps, an erection when dressing is just your body reacting to your joy at being free. The more you dress, the more open you become, the less the erections.
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Offline Virginia

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Re: Does the "turn on" matter for those thinking of transition? How much?
« Reply #26 on: October 19, 2018, 06:56:33 am »
How much do you think the sexual component matters? Trying to peel back the layers.
How important the sexual component is to you will become clear after you begin HRT and your male libido changes/disappears.

In my case it was the driving force. That despite never having been able to have intercourse with anyone because of my childhood sexual abuse, my taking estrogen to chemically castrate my body is the only way my child alters can feel safe knowing I can never have children of my own or do the things my parents did to me to anyone.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2018, 09:14:21 am by Virginia »
~VA (pronounced Vee- Aye, the abbreviation for the State of Virginia where I live)

Offline Kiera

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Re: Does the "turn on" matter for those thinking of transition? How much?
« Reply #27 on: October 19, 2018, 07:35:12 am »
. . . seeing a woman in the mirror will do that. . . (then) I was just dressing properly.



Love this image *sorry* couldn't resist but disagree . . .
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When one actually trades places with the woman in the mirror then "dressing" takes on a whole new importance & meaning (that happens without us even looking)!
"But it's no use now," thought poor Alice, "to pretend be two people!
"Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!"

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