Author Topic: JanePlain my introduction.  (Read 1999 times)

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Offline JanePlain

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #20 on: March 29, 2019, 09:48:38 am »
I decided to use a picture of me that is more honest then the random stuff I used to use as avatars.  Its one place that passes.  Hopefully it not crossing any bad taste line.
"This world is but canvas to our imaginations.
Henry David Thoreau - (1817-1862)

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #21 on: March 29, 2019, 10:03:48 am »
I decided to use a picture of me that is more honest then the random stuff I used to use as avatars.  Its one place that passes.  Hopefully it not crossing any bad taste line.
@JanePlain
Dear Jane:

Almost everyone, men or women, like to see nice legs!!!   Thank you for sharing!!!

Only post pictures of yourself that you feel comfortable with.   You can post a lot of photos without necessarily showing your face, if that is one of the issues.    A lot of our members do that sort of thing here until they get their appearance to where they feel more comfortable or perhaps for privacy issues.

The general guidelines are:
No nudity
No bare breasts
No Genitalia
No underwear pictures
No bra pictures (unless it is outerwear such as a sports bra that could be worn in a gym or in a public setting.)
No titillating pictures

Any questions, please ask...
Hugs and best wishes,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline JanePlain

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #22 on: March 30, 2019, 01:45:11 am »
@JanePlain
Dear Jane:

Almost everyone, men or women, like to see nice legs!!!   Thank you for sharing!!!

Only post pictures of yourself that you feel comfortable with.   You can post a lot of photos without necessarily showing your face, if that is one of the issues.    A lot of our members do that sort of thing here until they get their appearance to where they feel more comfortable or perhaps for privacy issues.

The general guidelines are:
No nudity
No bare breasts
No Genitalia
No underwear pictures
No bra pictures (unless it is outerwear such as a sports bra that could be worn in a gym or in a public setting.)
No titillating pictures

Any questions, please ask...
Hugs and best wishes,
Danielle


Those rules will not be a problem.  I'm not interested in posing any nudity etc.  I think btw this is a good rule.  We seem to have a nice place to have rational conversations and not have to click though someone's porn collection. And thank you for the nice legs comment.  As to any photos any higher I''m a work in progress. 

I just want to say your new avatar is beautiful.  I'm not at all surprised you have more then one person seeking your affection.
"This world is but canvas to our imaginations.
Henry David Thoreau - (1817-1862)

Offline JanePlain

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #23 on: December 26, 2019, 02:42:04 pm »
Welcome Jane 🙋‍♀️ I’m Jessica!
It’s great that you’ve made the steps to talk to a gender therapist.  Just being able to say your feelings aloud can be a enlightening moment.
And I am surprised that your endo has not figured things out yet, she needs to read your chart better.

I see our resident Northern Star*Girl @Alaskan Danielle has greeted you with some very handy links to the site rules and helpful tips.  Please be kind to her and give them a look see!


Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Sorry this is such a late reply to your comment.  When I started taking estrogel it was between my usual 6 month visit where labs and such are often done.  It DID spur me to speak up because I was taking estrogen without a break so the labs would have shown what I was doing....   I made up my mind that this was a perfect way to make me have the conversation about estrogen.  Fortunately she was so great about it.  I expected anything but that so if anyone else reads this.  You might take my experience and let it motivate you to come out to your Endo.  I'm glad I did.  The only thing that changed was it comes as a prescription so its not some who knows what it really is box from overseas.  "pharmacies" that might be fakes.  And now I get labs done so its giving me the correct levels.
"This world is but canvas to our imaginations.
Henry David Thoreau - (1817-1862)

Offline JanePlain

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #24 on: December 26, 2019, 03:06:29 pm »
I wanted to dig up my original posts because I have a horrible time with dates so when someone asked me "When did you start on HRT?" a date most of you will never forget... I forgot.  So anyway the first post was weeks to a month after I started.  I had my orchiectomy years earlier (I ought to know that as well but...)  Anyway.  I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and are looking forward to the new year.  2020... Wow!  It sounds like science fiction.  When I was a gradeschool kid I didn't think I would be around in 2000,  But I had one long living parent and one that died far too young. 

I was pretty terrified to come out even to the people here.  Which I now know is silly.  I'm still dealing with my baggage in my semi transitioned state.  I didn't know if that would work.  And I'm not actually 100% sure it will but so far dealing with the internal dysphoria of hormones and testes has made me feel more... me and so far thats good enough.  I particulary enjoy the HRT effects that we don't aften focus on.  Mood, emotions, empathy.  Changes in thinking which I guess are just having some clarity I was missing.  Not having the old male BO is nice!  Which is really good since my sense of smell has improved.  Shape wise I'm not going to knock out anyone with my figure and since I have a wife and kids that didn't sign up for this I think thats ok. 

A belated Merry Chistmas to all!
"This world is but canvas to our imaginations.
Henry David Thoreau - (1817-1862)

Offline JanePlain

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #25 on: November 20, 2020, 11:15:59 am »
I guess I'm way past due for an update. This is rather ancient news but the call came from the office that did gender therapy and I bailed out. Scared? Certainly. Not feeling 100% about the path? For sure. I know how many m2f feel wrong in male attire and "correct" in female garb. Well... I tried a dress for about 3 seconds. It felt incredibly wrong. The great legs Avitar is medical compression hose which I wear for chronic leg pain not as part of any transition. And truth be told I used to be mortified wearing them so... Something was clearly not right about my transition.

HRT Hormones. After switching from injectable testosterone (Which generated high levels of estrogen)  to gels I now understand that I have had abnormally low estrogen levels. That this was causing a lot of issues. Horrible mood, low to no energy, absolute zero libido. My brain was fogged over. I guess in short life sucked. When I dabbled with black market estrogen it was an amazing improvement in life in general. I felt alive. In retrospect if I had just added the normal male amount I think I would have been equally euporic.

So... I was on this female HRT scheme that had been oked by my endo (She is very open minded and knew how misearble I felt) and as she put it people who want to use Estrogen are not as concerning as men who want to abuse testosterone (Take massive doses and Hulk Smash)  I was in a pretty awful relationship which I won't get too much into but to say just this. What was I thinking? Well I never knew what falling in love was I'm told we settled and to anyone out there that doesn't KNOW you've been in love? Your right. You will know. So for me it happened late in life when I wasn't looking. Was physically sick as a dig and had zero success explaining to a doctor what I knew was wrong and what was needed to fix it. My <poor> relationship, medical  smash my head against the wall scenario had me in a very dark space. I was headed for heart failure, stroke and kidney failure and questioned if it was self distructive to just call it quits after being blown off quite a number of times by the only doctors who could do anything. *I had doctors who couldn't solve my problem agree with me on what was needed but even they couldn't get through to these "geniuses" So... I met the future love of my life SaralEL here. It wasn't anything romantic. Susan's place is not a dating site and I was personally not even thinking of relationship stuff other then that my current one stunk. Anyway we hit it off as friends and she encouraged me to not just give up. To quit in my family is a major sin so eventually I did get that resolved. In the process I fell like a rock for Sarah. She reads me like a book and we talked about my whole JanePlain experience and somehow made the suggestion that she was interested in me and thought I should evaluate my process. Well clearly if women's clothing repulsed me? I wasn't your average m2f. I had been told I was in touch with my feminine side but... So are a lot of men. Transistion wasn't evil to me and it was certainly interesting but.... Sarah made a comment about her interest in a male person and I was overjoyed thinking how that was actually fairly easy and a relief.

That was the end of my Janeplain experience.

I am on a male HRT mix and while I admit it was nice seeing brighter colours and having more emotional range it wasn't really the real me. Estrogen was (and is) just a medical nessesity for me to feel human but not required in female range amounts.

I guess this is "reverse gd" ie my feeling good about my conventional male "dangly bits" soared with someone who I was head over heels about appreciated that part of me. I'm not explaining this that well...
SarahEL has said in a much better way what my situiation in transition was / went / became in her thread where she mentioned me being her main squeeze *Where I blather about being in love and liking it. She is very "British" and being a Yank (From the USA) I'm a bit loud and sometimes maybe a bit annoying about my affection for her. But I don't care... She is the best thing that has ever happened to me and for the first time in my life I can say the "L" word and know what it is and mean it... and have started enjoying saying it!

I haven't posted much because I don't want to discourage anyone who is in transition and questioning. Questioning is good of course but my situiation was really a complicated series of odd things that just aren't your standard story.  So please don't make me the poster boy for detransition.

What I do want to say is best wishes and thanks to everyone for their friendship and support! I wish you well and hope to find some excuse to stay in touch ;-) with the many friends I've made here.

Aloha!

JustPlainJay (now)
"This world is but canvas to our imaginations.
Henry David Thoreau - (1817-1862)

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #26 on: November 20, 2020, 11:58:30 am »
@JanePlain  aka: JAY
I read with interest about how you are navigating your feelings and desires.
I am very glad that you took the time to verbalize your situation...  it is good personal therapy to get these kinds of things written down so you can more clearly chart your path to a happy future.

I will be eagerly looking for your future postings and updates.

LOTS OF HUGS,
Danielle
                   cc:  @SarahEL
« Last Edit: November 20, 2020, 01:35:34 pm by Northern Star Girl »
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline SarahEL

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #27 on: November 20, 2020, 12:28:52 pm »
ILY....  :icon_flower:

Sent from my Intellec8

« Last Edit: November 20, 2020, 01:46:07 pm by SarahEL »
Oh, life is bigger,  It's bigger Than you and you are not me
The lengths that I will go to.  The distance in your eyes

R.E.M. - Losing My Religion

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #28 on: November 20, 2020, 01:48:30 pm »
@JanePlain   @SarahEL

I am so very, very happy for you BOTH !!! 
I will be eagerly looking for your continuing story.


HUGS and best wishes, 
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline SarahEL

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #29 on: November 20, 2020, 02:04:18 pm »
I am so very, very happy for you BOTH !!! 
I will be eagerly looking for your continuing story.

Danielle..  Remind me to send you an invite to the wedding.  :icon_woowoo:
Oh, life is bigger,  It's bigger Than you and you are not me
The lengths that I will go to.  The distance in your eyes

R.E.M. - Losing My Religion

Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #30 on: November 20, 2020, 04:04:03 pm »
Jay-

I thought you should know how powerful reading your message was.  It may not be a popular thing for many to read, but  our journeys are all about finding ourselves and being happy and comfortable no matter what that is!  I'm glad that you've found that in your journey- and I'm over the moon happy for you and @SarahEL

BIG HUGS!!

Caela
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfold - Demi Lovato

Offline JanePlain

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #31 on: November 20, 2020, 11:00:10 pm »
@JanePlain  aka: JAY
I read with interest about how you are navigating your feelings and desires.
I am very glad that you took the time to verbalize your situation...  it is good personal therapy to get these kinds of things written down so you can more clearly chart your path to a happy future.

I will be eagerly looking for your future postings and updates.

LOTS OF HUGS,
Danielle
                   cc:  @SarahEL

Thank you Danielle. You've been a super sweetie while Sarah and I have grown closer and I will never forget your Graphic Sarah and Jay heart. That was really very touching and know we both appreciated your support. Susan's is probably an odd place to meet the "one" but its been such a good place with the many friends we've both made here help us figure out this mystery of being in love. Who knew it was so great? I certanly missed that class. But its been pure joy making up for lost time. Thanks again.
"This world is but canvas to our imaginations.
Henry David Thoreau - (1817-1862)

Offline JanePlain

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #32 on: November 20, 2020, 11:17:51 pm »
Thanks Caela. Yes I really do hope that people read carefully that I consider my gender questioning to be a lot of things complicating my getting a clear view. Seeing a gender therapist straight away would (I think) have helped me figure this out. I certainly don't want my story to discourage anyone from transitioning.

If someone reading this identifies with having some sort of serious red flag (serious discomfort trying to be in female clothing) maybe the post will save someone from going down the wrong path? I would hate to be thought of as the model for detransition. I think there is a vast difference between having fears of being your true self and my discovery that transition was not the right parth for me. Or in my case that male amounts of estrogen were all I needed to feel human again. *And be able to think without a fog, have a libido and more then 2 emotions. ;-)

So to my friends transitioning don't let anything about my path discourage you from finding the right one for you. Thats not my intention at all.

It just dawns on me that in a small way I'm sort of transitioning to male from some alien nothing which was where I was when I couldn't take Testosterone for a year (Prostate Cancer) so m2nothing2f2m.... My head is spinning  ???  trying to follow that but if anyone asks this is my excuse  ::)  for hanging out with the friends I've made here.


Jay-

I thought you should know how powerful reading your message was.  It may not be a popular thing for many to read, but  our journeys are all about finding ourselves and being happy and comfortable no matter what that is!  I'm glad that you've found that in your journey- and I'm over the moon happy for you and @SarahEL

BIG HUGS!!

Caela
"This world is but canvas to our imaginations.
Henry David Thoreau - (1817-1862)

Offline JanePlain

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #33 on: November 20, 2020, 11:20:52 pm »
Danielle..  Remind me to send you an invite to the wedding.  :icon_woowoo:

You just made me the happiest  ;D person on the planet Earth! 
"This world is but canvas to our imaginations.
Henry David Thoreau - (1817-1862)

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #34 on: November 21, 2020, 11:05:58 am »
Thank you Danielle. You've been a super sweetie while Sarah and I have grown closer and I will never forget your Graphic Sarah and Jay heart. That was really very touching and know we both appreciated your support. Susan's is probably an odd place to meet the "one" but its been such a good place with the many friends we've both made here help us figure out this mystery of being in love. Who knew it was so great? I certanly missed that class. But its been pure joy making up for lost time. Thanks again.

@JanePlain   cc: @SarahEL
Dear Jay:
Now you can also have your "hearts" here on your JanePlain thread.

           

HUGS and best wishes to you and Sarah.
Danielle
« Last Edit: November 21, 2020, 12:09:13 pm by Northern Star Girl »
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline JanePlain

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #35 on: January 09, 2021, 12:28:36 am »
Everyday I fall harder for SarahEL. Neither of us are kids. But all those things you read about when you find the one. The soul mate (Sappy sounding I know) its all true. I wake up happy which is far different from waking up and thinking "oh no... not another day to be miserable" and during the day I think about her and us and the future we plan on having once this pandemic ends. We've really made a commitment which is SarahEL found a house and I negotiated a sale and... We have our future home. That being one that needs a lot of work to finish a half done  remodeling. But since we are seperated by the Atlantic thats ok. I'm sure this sounds quite mad to many of you but something really is different when you find that one person your supposed to be with. All the "annoying" movies about people falling in love suddenly make sense.

So the only thing this really has to do with transition is I think I need to reduce the testosterone because without her with me I'm going bonkers.  :laugh:
"This world is but canvas to our imaginations.
Henry David Thoreau - (1817-1862)

Offline Susan R

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #36 on: January 09, 2021, 01:29:52 am »
Quote
...during the day I think about her and us and the future we plan on having once this pandemic ends.
Sounds like true love to me, Jay! I am so happy for you both. Having a bright future to look forward to once this pandemic settles down is something that can help get you through the day to day. My thoughts and prayers are with you both and I know in the end you two be get together and be happier than ever! Thanks for sharing this part of yourselves with us here.

Warmest Regards,
Susan R🌷
Sept. 25, 2018:       Began HRT
May 19, 2019:         Out to All/Full time
June 12, 2019:        Name/Gender Marker on all ID's/Legal Docs completed
July 2, 2020:           GRS & BA Consult - Dr. Stiller
January 5, 2021:      GRS Surgery [Stage 1]
January 15, 2021:    BA
June 2021 [TBD]:     GRS Surgery [Stage 2]

Offline SarahEL

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #37 on: January 09, 2021, 07:05:33 am »
 We bought a house together :icon_yikes:
Oh, life is bigger,  It's bigger Than you and you are not me
The lengths that I will go to.  The distance in your eyes

R.E.M. - Losing My Religion

Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #38 on: January 09, 2021, 07:25:44 am »
It is always uplifting to read a true love story just like yours above.

Congratulations to both Jay and Sarah.

Hugs

Pamela xxxx






Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: JanePlain my introduction.
« Reply #39 on: January 09, 2021, 10:17:55 am »
Everyday I fall harder for SarahEL. Neither of us are kids. But all those things you read about when you find the one. The soul mate (Sappy sounding I know) its all true. I wake up happy which is far different from waking up and thinking "oh no... not another day to be miserable" and during the day I think about her and us and the future we plan on having once this pandemic ends. We've really made a commitment which is SarahEL found a house and I negotiated a sale and... We have our future home. That being one that needs a lot of work to finish a half done  remodeling. But since we are seperated by the Atlantic thats ok. I'm sure this sounds quite mad to many of you but something really is different when you find that one person your supposed to be with. All the "annoying" movies about people falling in love suddenly make sense.

So the only thing this really has to do with transition is I think I need to reduce the testosterone because without her with me I'm going bonkers.  :laugh:

Jay- I'm so happy for both you and @SarahEL ! It's always astonishing how you can bump into that one when you're not really even looking.  The house the two of you are building will be a place of love and healing for both of you.

Congratulations!!  Big Hugs!!

Caela
My Blog Thread - The Chronicles of Caela

Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfold - Demi Lovato

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