Author Topic: help with coming out to my parents  (Read 231 times)

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Offline Veronica A

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help with coming out to my parents
« on: September 22, 2018, 05:17:47 am »
Hi,

as some may know i have already come out to my HR and CEO at work who are fully suportive :) . before that my pace was positively glacial, due to the fear factor about coming out to work.Now over the last week my need to transition is becoming more all consuming. i really want to get up and start on this road i was always destined to travel. infact i have lost the desire to do my old hobbies (thinking of selling my 1 month old Xbox one X and all its games)and focus my time and energy on transitioning. i haven't been able to do voice practises due to the constant ringing in my ears since wednesday. my mom has meniere's disease and it started the same time in her life as my ringing has at around age 40.. sigh...hope it goes away. i have had the ears cleaned and tests are underway.

so now that work officially knows, and a few people in my life know... only one family member i told out right, me nephew who i told to help him.. (biggest mistake ever - read below and some info in my blog and a few pages on this forum as well). its time i stopped hiding and started living and be the real me and to tell my family officially. this will be the first Christmas in my life without any family except my son and its so heart breaking, and great cause i will be celebrating it as me, not as the old dead me (who never really existed anyway)..... but it is something i must do, come out to my family and get it done with. its time i start living and not hiding. now i wont be telling my parents face to face, for a few reasons

  • Mom will start crying, Dad will get upset with me cause i upset mom and start going off at me
  • possibly get the hiding (probably punched) for hurting my mom . the possibility is scary. even my one sister reckons its best to be out of the country having a surgery and then send the letter.
  • farely certain violence may ensue against me
  • more than likely some sort of legal procedings may ensue as to my fitness to make my own decisions or that i can raise my own kid. i feel this is likely
  • my mom will play the victim card
  • they will attempt some sort of intervention before the end of the year anyway. based on the hints overtime and the letter for my 40th and video. which they didnt need to do and totaly destroyed one of my most happiest days.. i turned 40, i should never of made it but i did and i was happy till that moment.
  • all maner of manipulation will ensue
  • will use the fact i  bought the car off them and paying it off as a form of manipulation. as to that i am going to be giving it back and saving to buy one.. i really dont want them to have this power over me

can someone help with some sample letters (MTF) to parents ? it would give me a starting point to write mine.. at the moment my mind is too much a buz.. and i would like to write something so they dont think its their fault..

a little history....

my oldest sister found out due to the curtsy of my nephew, and she then told my mom (she tells my mom everything i tell her, so as a result i simply dont visit). maybe its because i dont tell my mom everything that goes in my life, and thats because i am tired of her attempting to manipulate me to do as she wants me to be.. its a lot of things really.. i love my mom and dad a great deal, in saying that i dont feel its their right to know whats going on in my life exactly, its a privilege i am 40 years old and have earned my right long time ago to make my own choices and decisions. nor should they be telling me what to do, they are subtle at this and very good at it as well (or force me in a direction of their choosing, or the way they think a normal man should go.) and they have been doing this all my life. and they have never accepted any of their kids for exactly who they are...me espiciallly..

my second eldest sister (who is awesome btw) i told the very night my ex and kids flew out of the country two years ago. my oldest son has since moved back (he knows, he heard me talking to my ex and he like so what i love my parent regardless).

my youngest sister, well i dont know if she knows. and due to the black mail threat and my kids blocking my nephew, he kindly sent that information off to my ex as well.. and that is how my oldest son found out, swell

so over the last two years i have only came out by me to HR, CEO (at my work who are super suportive) and my second eldest sister.

any help will be greatly appreciated.

thanks

Veronica
Started HRT - 27/08/2017


Offline Dena

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Re: help with coming out to my parents
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2018, 01:47:27 pm »
Our Wiki has a collection of coming out letters that might help you with a starting point for your letter. Most probably can't be used directly but there are are a number of good ideas.
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Offline Veronica A

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Re: help with coming out to my parents
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2018, 03:54:22 pm »
Our Wiki has a collection of coming out letters that might help you with a starting point for your letter. Most probably can't be used directly but there are are a number of good ideas.

thank you will look.. thats all i need :)

family eh, sigh...
Started HRT - 27/08/2017


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