Just read a bunch of your thread here. Lots of good stuff happening for you lately.
Your mention of Jenny Boylan's book caught my eye. I read if at the start of my transition and noted a lot of similarities to me also. I was wondering if your wife read it also and if she got anything out if it.
Jenny wrote a follow up book about parenting as a trans woman. I've not read it but it should have some follow up on her relationship as she is still married.
Another memoir you might like is "Yes, you are trans enough" by Mia Violet.
She is much younger, British, and aware she was trans at a much younger age ampng other different circumstances, but I still found a lot that I related to as far as thoughts and feelings for lack of better wag to describe it.
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Hi Tonya
Thanks for the suggestion of Mia Violet.
She, my wife, has quite a reading list that has been suggested to her by our therapist. Not only are all three of Jenny’s books on the list, but Amanda Knox’s Love Lives Here and Janet Mock’s Redefining Realness. (They’re all in our shared Kindle / Audible library now.)
Changing the subject: You have to give Jenny a whole lot of credit. She out there advocating for acceptance of what we live. I’m still very much in the middle of my journey; finally finding the courage to go public as Kathryn ‘Kate’ Jannell.
(I held up responding for a few days because I needed to think. These comments are going to go in a weird direction. However, this is where my heart is leading me.)
Jenny’s story, and this is NOT to degrade her, is a story of white privilege and decent financial resources. Jenny’s story is very, very much my story. I get it.
Janet’s story, and this is NOT to degrade her, is a story of a racial minority who sold her body to be able to live authentically. Janet’s story is not so much my story.
Yet, in my Midwest US Trans community, I’ve met, and KNOW, women in each situation. It brings me to tears.
I don’t feel that I yet blend well. Right now, I’m very much in boy/girl mode deciding each morning how I will present based on who I expect to be dealing with.
At some point, hopefully very soon, I’ll be confident freeing Kate in all situations. I hope that I can then advocate (like some other women in my/our community) for all women, especially those of limited resources who face other reasons for discrimination besides accepting they are trans.
Final note on your reference to Mia and her awareness of being Trans at a much younger age. (Again, just my heart rambling...)
I’ve known I was Trans since my earliest memories around age 3.
At age 3, I couldn’t enunciate the feelings. I didn’t understand them, and when I commented to my mother, she discounted me. I was a teenager when I became fascinated by the story of Renee Richards and for the first time understood that there were others like me, and they could do, and did, something about those feelings. However, I tried to live the normal heterosexual male expected by our society. I had my multiple coping mechanisms.
One by one, each of those mechanisms failed and were thrown aside until I had no other survivable option.
My point: I think all of us feel something isn’t right at a very early age. Unfortunately, our abilities to comprehend what we are feeling, and whether or not we live in a supportive environment greatly influences our decisions on transitioning. The smarter ones among us transition earlier in their lives.
Sorry, but I warned this post was going to go in a weird direction.
Luv ya sister
Kate
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