Author Topic: My Honest Opinion  (Read 253 times)

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Offline PainKiller

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My Honest Opinion
« on: October 02, 2018, 04:00:32 pm »
A little background information, I came from another website.
I've seen what people post on that site, it's pretty bad. Luckily I haven't seen that type of stuff here and hopefully I don't run into it. Probably because the majority of users here seem to be older and more mature.
but going back on topic, people coming to one of their forums and asking if "they are transgender" gets flooded with support even if the person isn't actually transgender.
It's like being a feminine boy or tomboy girl is out of the question.
Being transgender should all come down to dysphoria instead of the urge to just want to dress more masculine or feminine.
Maybe this is just me feeling this way but I thought I should discuss this.
There are transgender people out there who think transgender kids should start HRT at a young age before they hit puberty but I remember reading a recent article about how most kids end up experimenting with their gender and roles at a young age but most of them supposedly "grow out of it" and there are some kids that end up being transgender who feel burdened about it and it gets worse for them as they grow up.
I've already met some people who detransitioned even though the number of people who detransition is pretty low.
It wouldn't make it any better if kids started HRT at a young age or started medically transitioning at a young age.
It could mess things up for them, they won't be able to have biological kids, could actually increase dysphoria for them, etc.
Maybe this is just my opinion but It's becoming a real issue for me since I have a sister who's being bullied at school for "being transgender" when she actually isn't and people are pushing her into thinking she is transgender.
She is AFAB and actually wants to have biological kids and wants to become pregnant.
Even though she wants to become pregnant she is already experiencing dysphoria and doesn't want to grow breasts or start her periods or grow through puberty but in the end she's always talked about being a mom and wanting at least 5 kids.
She gets bullied mostly for being a tomboy so I guess this is coming from personal experience even though I am transgender myself.
Plus the bullying itself at school carried over to home and now she bullies me for being transgender which isn't exactly wrong but now she thinks being a tomboy is wrong and started bullying me since my masculine appearance has become more noticeable.
 
I just feel like the media is pushing some kids into thinking they are transgender and it could possibly harm their future.

It's probably best to check in with a therapist or gender therapist instead of posting it on that website where you'll get people supporting you into your transition but like I said maybe it's only me feeling this way but that's why I'm discussing about it.
« Last Edit: October 03, 2018, 09:12:35 pm by Laurie »

Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: My Honest Opinion
« Reply #1 on: October 02, 2018, 04:33:35 pm »
Generally speaking, it is almost always best to go through counseling before doing anything that could adversely have an effect on their future. Having pre puberty anxiety seems to be fairly common these days, but it does not make anyone trans by that alone.
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Offline Lucca

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Re: My Honest Opinion
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2018, 04:35:27 pm »
My understanding is that no HRT provider will put kids or younger teens on HRT, they'll put them on puberty blockers, which is fully reversible. So, as far as I know, there's not really any danger of kids experiencing permanent medical changes before at least sixteen years of age.

We could be doing more to emphasize that it's ok to be gender non-conforming and that gender non-conforming behaviors do not themselves make someone transgender, to be sure. At the same time, though, it sounds like your sister's peers are just looking for any excuse they can find to bully her for gender non-conforming behavior and appearance. I'm not sure that whether she's truly transgender or not has much to do with it.

Offline PainKiller

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Re: My Honest Opinion
« Reply #3 on: October 02, 2018, 05:12:29 pm »
@Lady Sarah
@Lucca
I'm only mentioning this as an issue since some transgender people are actually wanting the chance that younger teenagers could start HRT at that age and get sex reassignment surgery.

also that steins;gate avatar
love the anime, it's my #1 favorite


Offline Gertrude

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Re: My Honest Opinion
« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2018, 05:31:04 pm »
People believe all sorts of things, sometimes wrong, even you. I would advise not to define transgender as it’s a dangerous pastime and seems to change. What I can tell you is that I am.


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Offline Lucca

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Re: My Honest Opinion
« Reply #5 on: October 02, 2018, 05:41:37 pm »
Maybe more people than I think are suggesting that children and young teens should start full HRT or SRS, especially on a place like Reddit. I'd definitely not recommend that, and I'm pretty sure most doctors wouldn't, either. But then, I'm pretty new at this myself, so maybe I'm wrong.

Thanks for noticing my avatar, BTW. I love Steins;Gate too ;D.

Online Dena

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Re: My Honest Opinion
« Reply #6 on: October 02, 2018, 09:12:16 pm »
If you see a thread getting out of control, use the report to moderator button. You can't always assume that a moderator has seen an offensive post and if it's a problem, we will deal with it when we are aware of it. The board is pretty heavily moderated so people are first warned of issues and if they decide to continue the behavior, we will ban them. Fortunately most of the member are well behaved so most of the things we correct are honest mistakes and not serious issues.

Something I learned from Cindy is that gender identity can switch well into puberty. That's the reason for avoiding anything that's not reversible until they reach their late teens. Blocker and allowing a child to live the role are acceptable treatments and provide the time to determine what the best path would be.

As for your sister, it appears she might fall into the non binary if she experiences dysphoria. If she is willing, it could benefit her to visit the site and learn about the non binary to see if it fits what she feels. Unfortunately dealing with the dysphoria when your non binary is difficult as the treatment needs to be customized to the feelings of the person being treated.
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Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: My Honest Opinion
« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2018, 09:24:21 pm »
@Lady Sarah
@Lucca
I'm only mentioning this as an issue since some transgender people are actually wanting the chance that younger teenagers could start HRT at that age and get sex reassignment surgery.

also that steins;gate avatar
love the anime, it's my #1 favorite


As far as I know, children cannot get HRT without parental permission, and cannot get SRS until they reach the age of majority. It would be wise to avoid sites where people try to push others into it.
started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016

Offline Sarah.VanDistel

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Re: My Honest Opinion
« Reply #8 on: October 03, 2018, 12:33:31 pm »
Prediction seems easy when we benefit from hindsight, but it can be a very deceitful exercise.

Many (most?) trans women who transition later in life share a common narrative of dressing as girls, playing with dolls, etc. from a (sometimes very) young age. In my case, for example it began at around 4 yo. In the meantime, dysphoria just kept undulating, with higher and higher waves, until my forties, when it became unbearable and I decided to transition.

However, we have truly no clear idea of how many kids who dress as girls or adopt other feminine behaviours as kids will in fact later suffer from gender dysphoria and require transition. My guess is that many of them will fortunately outgrow those feelings and behavioural patterns. And we are not even close as having biological markers for this... If they even exist, that is.

So perhaps for the time being, as others said, therapy and eventually puberty-blockers might be the most reasonable approach. I wish I had transitioned at 5 yo, but I'd be really pissed if my parents had made me transition just to realize, as an adult, that I am actually not transgender but instead just liked to play with dolls as a kid.

Sarah

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Offline Virginia

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Re: My Honest Opinion
« Reply #9 on: October 03, 2018, 03:34:10 pm »
people coming to one of their forums and asking if "they are transgender" gets flooded with support even if the person isn't actually transgender.
It's like being a feminine boy or tomboy girl is out of the question.

A few of us here on the forum feel this way about our psychologists having pushed a diagnosis of transgender Gender Dysphoria and transition when our need to express ourselves as another gender was because we have Dissociative Identity Disorder related to childhood sexual and psychological abuse. our minds developed alters of another gender as a coping mechanism for trauma; it has nothing to do with gender.
« Last Edit: October 03, 2018, 09:47:32 pm by Laurie »
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