Author Topic: People are constantly trying to invalidate me at my job....  (Read 227 times)

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Offline mako9802

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People are constantly trying to invalidate me at my job....
« on: October 21, 2018, 08:39:06 pm »
Hello folks just to start I am 36 amab non-binary and have been on HRT since September of 2016...I currently work in a call center and have been there for a year (it suck but is pays the bills). I primarily present still in androgynous dress and such as women's jeans tees nothing live overtly feminine but definitely not men dress. My mannerisms are probably still kind of neutral leaning and I have been trying to bring out my softer side here recently. Since day one at this place gay men have started there whisper campaign against me because I don't act flaming like most of them do, we are all different. They are like that "that is a man" that is not a girl blah blah blah  and now  I am starting to get  the cold shoulder from cis females, I basically get treated like a fraud at my job because I do not conform to some stereotype of what a trans person is, non binary is still trans. The main thing that bothers me is people that dont know me trying to take my identity away from me. That burns me up getting the side eye from people who don't know me.

Offline Allison S

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Re: People are constantly trying to invalidate me at my job....
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2018, 09:00:29 pm »
Wow.. I'm sorry you're going through this mistreatment. No one deserves that.
Is there a higher up that would understand and you can talk to? Maybe you don't have to share every detail (unless you want to of course), but simply let them know you're feeling ostracized and mistreated... When all you're trying to do is your job.
It seems like they want you to mess up in some way so don't give them that satisfaction.

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Offline RandyL

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Re: People are constantly trying to invalidate me at my job....
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2018, 10:52:11 pm »
I'm sorry as well. Workplace discrimination and stress harm the productivity of your company. I agree with Allison, try to find somebody in HR or management who can be your ally.  You've been there for a year -- you must be a good asset to them and they should want to help you stay there.  Worst case, there are many call centers and with your experience you would be a good hire for somebody.  I hope some other people will chime in as well.  Let us know if we can help in any other ways.
(Edit:  I misread your tenure there as two years...changed my response to one year)
If so, then why not?

Offline Sno

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Re: People are constantly trying to invalidate me at my job....
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2018, 05:08:59 am »
What a horrible situation to be in. (Hugs)

Rowan

Offline Jin

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Re: People are constantly trying to invalidate me at my job....
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2018, 03:20:01 pm »
You are in the wrong job, life is too long to live like that. Make a new position be part of inventing yourself.

For me personally, a call center would be a death sentence. I would go postal in a week.
I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam.
-- Popeye

A wise person can learn more from fools than a fool can learn from a wise person.

Online Megan.

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Re: People are constantly trying to invalidate me at my job....
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2018, 03:28:18 pm »
This is just my take and without knowing the details, but If you're out at work,  I'd do the following:

Advertise and run a seminar internally on non-binary/trans gender identities. Keep it positive,  informational and reference good sources. - I've done this several times with my employer.

People fear and hence ridicule what they don't know or understand. Give them the knowledge to help them understand and become an ally.

If after that you still have trouble, then you know these are not people you want in your life. X

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Offline Angelic

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Re: People are constantly trying to invalidate me at my job....
« Reply #6 on: November 07, 2018, 02:35:15 pm »
You are in the wrong job, life is too long to live like that. Make a new position be part of inventing yourself.

For me personally, a call center would be a death sentence. I would go postal in a week.

Going postal is not legal so it's not really an option that she, ultimately, would benefit from in the end. Sadly though its people like her coworkers that aren't afraid of any kind of serious retribution, other than a minor slap on the wrist from their corporation, that probably won't happen. So they don't have any discipline or learning to respect people or common courtesy.

Maybe murdering them all is a bit extreme, still there should be at least some way for society to allow physical beat downs of those who oppress you, maybe murder is too far, but if people aren't afraid of physically getting beat down for their rudeness, the society decays into a dystopian hellscape where weaklings think they can abuse and oppress anyone they please.
Intolerables, everywhere...cannot escape them.

Offline RandyL

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Re: People are constantly trying to invalidate me at my job....
« Reply #7 on: November 07, 2018, 04:28:54 pm »
Going postal is not legal so it's not really an option that she, ultimately, would benefit from in the end. Sadly though its people like her coworkers that aren't afraid of any kind of serious retribution, other than a minor slap on the wrist from their corporation, that probably won't happen. So they don't have any discipline or learning to respect people or common courtesy.

Maybe murdering them all is a bit extreme, still there should be at least some way for society to allow physical beat downs of those who oppress you, maybe murder is too far, but if people aren't afraid of physically getting beat down for their rudeness, the society decays into a dystopian hellscape where weaklings think they can abuse and oppress anyone they please.
I can sympathize with the feeling, but physical beat downs are not what we do in our society. The coworkers should be sanctioned or fired by the company. If the company won't stand up for their policies and valued employees then it's not a good place to work. They will eventually be left with the dregs of a workforce and lose value in the marketplace. At least I like to think that...

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If so, then why not?

Offline Angelic

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Re: People are constantly trying to invalidate me at my job....
« Reply #8 on: November 07, 2018, 05:31:20 pm »
I can sympathize with the feeling, but physical beat downs are not what we do in our society. The coworkers should be sanctioned or fired by the company. If the company won't stand up for their policies and valued employees then it's not a good place to work. They will eventually be left with the dregs of a workforce and lose value in the marketplace. At least I like to think that...

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I know physical beat downs are not what is done in our society. And look at our society. That was the whole point of saying why society should allow beat downs.

Giving corporations more power is not the answer. The answer is giving more power to individual. Not to corporations. Not to lawmen. Not to the government.
Intolerables, everywhere...cannot escape them.

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