Community Conversation > Male to female transsexual talk (MTF)

Some days transitioning seems such an immense undertaking (because it is!)

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My major problems to be misgendered is my short hair, and my voice.  My short hair will grow out, Ia m sure of that, even though it seems to have stopped growing since i want it to grow!
My voice is a funny thing, my normal voice has a rather high pitch (I have no Adams Apple and thus a smaller voice box and a higher sounding voice).  I n average I range about 180 Hz of pitch, but..... But trying all these years to sound manly, I trained myself to talk with low of a frequency I can get, and I have a hard time to get out of this habit.  Additionally, I have the typical male speech pattern to lower the voice at the end of sentences.  All my female friends tell me that I sound just like an older woman, who very often have lower sounding voices.  It mus be the speech pattern that gives me away.  I try very hard, not to do this, but I fall victim to my own habits.

You might have a similar problem with your voice, and the bebst thing to do is hang in, and work on it!


--- Quote from: ChrissyRyan on November 15, 2018, 02:14:29 pm ---Moni,

Thank you for your nice reply.  I do wish you the best in regards to your facial skin improvements and your voice too. 

The comment from your co-workers seeing “no guy” in you sure has got to be uplifting!

Was it uncomfortable posing on the washer and dryer for your avatar picture?   :)


--- End quote ---

I have the deluxe model washer dryer so it is pretty comfortable. I kind of glowed for a while when I heard my friend say that. I have no clue how I seem to others.

I'm way "ahead" of you with taking years and not moving forward until I feel my voice is good enough. As I wrote in another thread, I will feel 'complete' when I can pass in every situation without much conscious effort and my voice requires the most effort to be even remotely passable.

I've seen girls here saying that having a good voice is the icing on the cake, which allowed them to really blend in and just live their lives.

I just finished voice practice for today and while I had good moments it still doesn't sound natural enough, it still has some of that "maleness" in it and it still takes a lot of effort. When I'm in the right state of mind my voice sounds a lot better, but I cannot really count on that constantly to improve my voice, my voice has to work even when I'm tired, when I'm out of breath or when I'm sad.

I have worked as a video and sound editor for many years, I can judge sound and voice quality very quickly (and harshly). I am very sensitive to sounds in general. Sounds, voices and noises can influence me greatly and that is a curse when I hear my inadequate voice in my practice sessions.

I basically pass visually until I have to speak loud or for extended periods. The problem is that I did not make much progress with my voice in the last few years, so I'm still not full-time and still not on HRT because after some time HRT would force me to go full-time.

My problem is that a barely passing voice is not good enough for me, it is not enough to express myself the way I want to and I know that in certain situations it would instantly clock me. I had enough bullying for a lifetime and I have been an outcast long enough to know that I do not wish to be the "strange one" again.

I waited for so long that the circumstances changed for the worse, I cannot plan ahead at all because a few months ago our government decided to suspend gender marker and name change procedures for trans people, so at the moment there is no way to change my documents, even if I feel ready to go fulltime.


--- Quote from: HappyMoni on November 15, 2018, 03:36:43 pm ---I have the deluxe model washer dryer so it is pretty comfortable. I kind of glowed for a while when I heard my friend say that. I have no clue how I seem to others.

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Sometimes it just makes sense to pay for higher quality deluxe merchandise, as there can be some unforseen extra benefits, such as greater comfort.  I am glad you liked your friend’s comforting comment.  :)   Keep on smiling.  I’ll vote for that!



--- Quote from: ChrissyRyan on November 15, 2018, 11:08:05 am ---While there are things I can continue to do to transition, I just cannot see myself being full time unless this voice is convincingly female, not “femme male.”


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I had planned to wait a few more months before coming out, which for me coincided with going full time. I wanted to have a few sessions with a voice therapist and let my hair grow out more. But I reached a point when I simply could not be 'him' anymore. 'He' wasn't ready, but 'she' was. I look back at photos I took when I first came out and cringe. My voice wasn't ready either, it broke low quite often and I had a hard time just making it through the day because my voice tired quickly. Still, my only regret is not going full time even sooner. Immersing yourself by living as a woman all the time really speeds up the learning curve! If I had waited until everything was ready, I would still be waiting. I never did visit a voice therapist, and from peoples reactions my voice doesn't give me away. It wasn't easy, but sometimes you just have to dive in even though you know the water is cold.


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