Author Topic: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)  (Read 731 times)

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Offline Lacy

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #20 on: November 16, 2018, 04:45:39 pm »
Thanks for the encouragement and I am looking forward to talking about faith and being transgendered. I have read much your diary. It has been a great read. It is interesting to see how you have interacted with your wife. I hope that we can be good friends and encouragers to one another. I will PM you when I hit the magic number of fifteen.

Thank you for reading my posts! I look forward to deeper conversations!

Lacy
She believed she could so she did!

The continuing story of my new life!




Offline Margrit

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #21 on: March 18, 2019, 08:26:18 am »
Hi Marsha

I just want to say "Hello"  :) It was nice to meet you at the Chat.

Best wishes
Margrit

Offline Tribble

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #22 on: March 18, 2019, 09:26:06 am »
Hi Marsha!

Faith seems to be a common theme among a lot of trans folk.

I, too, tried to fit faith into my life.  I did not grow up in a religious household, whatsoever, as Easter for me was about decorating eggs and later finding them, as well as getting a pretty basket with a trinket in it.  Christmas was about decorations and music and TV cartoons and, of course, presents!

Still, I prayed and prayed and prayed that I would one day wake up in a fully female body.  Sadly, that never happened.

I always thought I was a great pretender early in life, but looking back at photos of me in my younger years I wonder how no one ever said anything to me.  Later, I became very good at pretending.  I was an atheist by this time, but even though I used the guise of a rocker as an excuse to grow my hair long, no one questioned my identity.  I married an evangelical woman (interesting dynamics when it comes to an atheist and an evangelical Christian in a romantic relationship) and one day I simply broke down in bed with my wife.  I hadn't cried in years and my wife noticed.  I told her all about my real self.  She was all for it at first, but it soon became too real to her when I talked about going full-time.  Upon the very real possibility of losing her forever, I threw myself back into a deep, deep closet and joined her church.  I was all-in.  It became apparent that I did not fit there and people could not accept me, not because of my identity, which only the pastor knew, but because they couldn't seem to accept that I had never really been to church before and I didn't know all of the ins and outs.  I will say that attending that church and trying my level best to rid myself of my trans-ness, I found myself praying to rid me of these feelings for the first time in my life rather than the other way around.  Nothing seemed to help, and I really did have at least a mustard-seed-sized amount of faith at the time.

I'm sorry for you to say that I'm back to atheism, but I do know of a lot of trans men and women that have retained their faith.  After transitioning, had I gone back to church (and I'd considered it), it would have been at the church that my parents tried to attend a few times when I was a child that eventually became led by an FtM trans pastor.
 Surprisingly, most of my extended family is rather religious and almost all of them have been my strongest supporters, even if I couldn't hold that faith, myself.  My ex's family, friends, and church never would have accepted me, but my family sure has other than a couple of hyper-masculine hold-outs.

I hope you're able to live your true life.  It's freeing, but for me, not without its own issues.

Whatever your path, I hope you're able to stop pretending and be as happy as you can be! :)
2003-2004 -- Gradual transition -- I didn't correct pronouns and people basically settled on the right ones on their own.
late 2004 -- Orchiectomy.
Late 2015 -- Stupidly saw the political climate and spurned on by my husband's request for a divorce I detransitioned.
2019 -- Rebuilding my wardrobe so I can retransition.  Turns out I cain't bury my true self, after all.  I call these last few years my failed experiment.  At least I found my true feelings were real.

Offline Margrit

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #23 on: March 18, 2019, 09:53:22 am »
I hope you're able to stop pretending and be as happy as you can be! :)

How very true, Tribble  :)
That is what I am hoping for Marsha too.

Offline AllazandraTelsar

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #24 on: March 31, 2019, 05:23:04 pm »
Hi Marsha,

Thank you for for sharing, and for reaching out to me in my introduction. It helps to see that I'm not alone in being Transgender and Christian.

Blessing,
Alla

Offline MarshaJoy825

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #25 on: April 03, 2019, 05:13:17 am »
Hi Marsha,

Thank you for for sharing, and for reaching out to me in my introduction. It helps to see that I'm not alone in being Transgender and Christian.

Blessing,
Alla

Alla,

    Thank you so much for checking out my intro.  As with all intros here, I could have written a book. I do hope we can keep in touch. I am kind of occupied for the next couple of days, but I do hope to private message you if you don't mind. I think it is good that we find support as Christians and being transgender at the same time. It is not the most easy journey to make.  Have a great day!  Hugs, Marsha

Offline Dietlind

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #26 on: April 03, 2019, 08:22:30 am »
Alla,

    Thank you so much for checking out my intro.  As with all intros here, I could have written a book. I do hope we can keep in touch. I am kind of occupied for the next couple of days, but I do hope to private message you if you don't mind. I think it is good that we find support as Christians and being transgender at the same time. It is not the most easy journey to make.  Have a great day!  Hugs, Marsha
As long as you don't mean the evangelical section of believers who have captured the word Christian for themselves, and are using it in an absolutely obnoxious way, as if all of us who were baptized and believe in God and Jesus Christ are  nothing than a group of lost souls!
 If you mean us, too, with calling yourself as a Christian, you are for sure not alone out there!  I for one will help you whenever I can, and include you into my prayers!
If you call yourself Christian, because nobody outside your denomination is considered to be one, I can care less about you, and am not one who would want to support you!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy




Offline MarshaJoy825

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #27 on: April 03, 2019, 09:35:36 pm »
How very true, Tribble  :)
That is what I am hoping for Marsha too.
Margrit, thanks so much for the kind words! I do hope that you are keeping well.

Offline MarshaJoy825

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #28 on: April 03, 2019, 09:39:01 pm »
Hi Marsha!

Faith seems to be a common theme among a lot of trans folk.

I, too, tried to fit faith into my life.  I did not grow up in a religious household, whatsoever, as Easter for me was about decorating eggs and later finding them, as well as getting a pretty basket with a trinket in it.  Christmas was about decorations and music and TV cartoons and, of course, presents!

Still, I prayed and prayed and prayed that I would one day wake up in a fully female body.  Sadly, that never happened.

I always thought I was a great pretender early in life, but looking back at photos of me in my younger years I wonder how no one ever said anything to me.  Later, I became very good at pretending.  I was an atheist by this time, but even though I used the guise of a rocker as an excuse to grow my hair long, no one questioned my identity.  I married an evangelical woman (interesting dynamics when it comes to an atheist and an evangelical Christian in a romantic relationship) and one day I simply broke down in bed with my wife.  I hadn't cried in years and my wife noticed.  I told her all about my real self.  She was all for it at first, but it soon became too real to her when I talked about going full-time.  Upon the very real possibility of losing her forever, I threw myself back into a deep, deep closet and joined her church.  I was all-in.  It became apparent that I did not fit there and people could not accept me, not because of my identity, which only the pastor knew, but because they couldn't seem to accept that I had never really been to church before and I didn't know all of the ins and outs.  I will say that attending that church and trying my level best to rid myself of my trans-ness, I found myself praying to rid me of these feelings for the first time in my life rather than the other way around.  Nothing seemed to help, and I really did have at least a mustard-seed-sized amount of faith at the time.

I'm sorry for you to say that I'm back to atheism, but I do know of a lot of trans men and women that have retained their faith.  After transitioning, had I gone back to church (and I'd considered it), it would have been at the church that my parents tried to attend a few times when I was a child that eventually became led by an FtM trans pastor.
 Surprisingly, most of my extended family is rather religious and almost all of them have been my strongest supporters, even if I couldn't hold that faith, myself.  My ex's family, friends, and church never would have accepted me, but my family sure has other than a couple of hyper-masculine hold-outs.

I hope you're able to live your true life.  It's freeing, but for me, not without its own issues.

Whatever your path, I hope you're able to stop pretending and be as happy as you can be! :)
Tribble,
    Thanks so much for opening your heart here on my post. Thank you also for your words of encouragement. I still have a long way to go in this journey though I am a late starter. I do hope that some day you will find faith in God again. However, whatever direction you go, I am glad to have the chance to know you through this forum. You have been so kind to write all that you did and share your heart.   Marsha

Offline AllazandraTelsar

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #29 on: April 10, 2019, 07:50:22 pm »
Alla,

    Thank you so much for checking out my intro.  As with all intros here, I could have written a book. I do hope we can keep in touch. I am kind of occupied for the next couple of days, but I do hope to private message you if you don't mind. I think it is good that we find support as Christians and being transgender at the same time. It is not the most easy journey to make.  Have a great day!  Hugs, Marsha

I look forward to talking through private message as soon as I have it the ability to do so. :) I haven't been able to get on much, and I've only been posting when I felt like I had something positive to add, so not quite at the 15 posts needed (assuming I remember right how this works). But yeah, it would be real nice to talk to someone who can relate. While we have plenty of Christian friends, I don't think any of them would accept this about me, and I don't know anyone personally who is transgender that I can talk to either (at least that I know of).

Offline MarshaJoy825

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #30 on: April 11, 2019, 07:47:12 am »
I look forward to talking through private message as soon as I have it the ability to do so. :) I haven't been able to get on much, and I've only been posting when I felt like I had something positive to add, so not quite at the 15 posts needed (assuming I remember right how this works). But yeah, it would be real nice to talk to someone who can relate. While we have plenty of Christian friends, I don't think any of them would accept this about me, and I don't know anyone personally who is transgender that I can talk to either (at least that I know of).
Hello Alla,
    Thanks for writing me back. I did send you a private message. I hope you get it. If not, please let me know.  You have a terrific day.   Marsha

Offline Tribble

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #31 on: April 11, 2019, 07:54:27 am »
Hello Alla,
    Thanks for writing me back. I did send you a private message. I hope you get it. If not, please let me know.  You have a terrific day.   Marsha

Until she gets 15 posts she won't be able to reply to your PM other than on the open forums.
2003-2004 -- Gradual transition -- I didn't correct pronouns and people basically settled on the right ones on their own.
late 2004 -- Orchiectomy.
Late 2015 -- Stupidly saw the political climate and spurned on by my husband's request for a divorce I detransitioned.
2019 -- Rebuilding my wardrobe so I can retransition.  Turns out I cain't bury my true self, after all.  I call these last few years my failed experiment.  At least I found my true feelings were real.

Offline MarshaJoy825

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #32 on: April 11, 2019, 09:00:43 am »
Until she gets 15 posts she won't be able to reply to your PM other than on the open forums.
Thanks for sharing with us. I did send her my email address hoping that she could communicate in that way. I trust all is going well Tribble.   Have a great day.    Marsha

Offline Tribble

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Re: Hello! The Great Pretender (Me)
« Reply #33 on: April 11, 2019, 02:17:46 pm »
You have a great day, too!

And thank you for your reply to my earlier post.  I'm sorry if I was too wordy, originally.

Good luck on your journey! :)
2003-2004 -- Gradual transition -- I didn't correct pronouns and people basically settled on the right ones on their own.
late 2004 -- Orchiectomy.
Late 2015 -- Stupidly saw the political climate and spurned on by my husband's request for a divorce I detransitioned.
2019 -- Rebuilding my wardrobe so I can retransition.  Turns out I cain't bury my true self, after all.  I call these last few years my failed experiment.  At least I found my true feelings were real.

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