Author Topic: Better late than never, Jamie  (Read 2662 times)

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Offline gracefulhat

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #40 on: December 06, 2018, 05:32:52 am »
Glad to hear everything is going good for you Jamie. Cool tattoo also. I've been thinking a lot lately about getting a tat.

Thx, I have to laugh at myself. Imgur is so brutally honest, but that's good. I think I'll just get it lasered.
Above all, love

Offline gracefulhat

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #41 on: December 16, 2018, 09:43:44 am »
Our marriage is a train wreck. We had a long argument this morning and she wants to see a marriage counselor but I am reluctant because how likely is it to find a counselor who has experience with this and is a trans ally and not biased? Even if I do go it seems pointless since she told me just this morning that her end goal is for me to stop transitioning. That is not happening and she thinks I am so selfish for this. I've tried to explain that for me this is life or death, it's not like deciding to buy a car. She can't understand why I didn't let her know about the dysphoria before deciding to transition and why we couldn't first talk about it and go through all the options. For me it wasn't optional. I was literally fighting for my life. How can I focus on her when I myself was dead inside and  becoming more and more depressed?
Above all, love

Offline cargurl72

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #42 on: December 16, 2018, 07:38:33 pm »
Sorry things aren't going so well in your marriage. Jamie, if you ever need someone to talk to I'm just a phone call away. I can't relate in what you're going through since I've never been married, but I'm a darn good listener. Hang in there girl.

Offline gracefulhat

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #43 on: December 16, 2018, 08:31:55 pm »
Sorry things aren't going so well in your marriage. Jamie, if you ever need someone to talk to I'm just a phone call away. I can't relate in what you're going through since I've never been married, but I'm a darn good listener. Hang in there girl.

That really means a lot, thank you. We talked again and it seems that the plan is for us to move in September to Washington State where she wants to finish school and then hopefully start a career so she can be independent. I am getting an orchiectomy in August if all goes as planned. We will then divorce when she feels financially stable, in fact we may divorce while still living together. Life is full of twists and who knows how this will actually pan out.
Above all, love

Offline Jessica_Rose

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #44 on: December 16, 2018, 08:50:12 pm »
Jamie, I am saddened to hear about your wife being so against this. My wife was mad as hell when I told her, and I did not give her a say in my transition. I was on HRT for several months before I told her I had started. My HRT doctor suggested a therapist, and amazingly enough the therapist's husband had transitioned (MTF) several years ago. Their marriage did not survive, but it certainly gave her insight into the situation. Every time it looked like things were falling apart for us I asked my wife if she wanted to leave. She always said 'no' and told me that she loved me. My wife is happier now than she had been in many years. It is hard when the person you love can't see the pain in your life and recognize that you are doing this for them, as well as yourself. How can your partner be happy when you are in pain?

If your marriage does come to an end, please consider it to be a new beginning. Love will find it's way back into your life one day, and you will find a partner who loves you for who you are.

Love always -- Jessica Rose
My journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
My National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out - Jessica Rose
My GCS Thread - GCS and BA with Dr. Ley on 21 Feb 2019 - Jessica_Rose
23 Mar 2017 - Started Estradiol  //  16 Feb 2018 - Full Time!  //  21 Feb 2019 - GCS w/Dr. Ley
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot



Offline gracefulhat

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #45 on: December 16, 2018, 08:53:46 pm »
Jamie, I am saddened to hear about your wife being so against this. My wife was mad as hell when I told her, and I did not give her a say in my transition. I was on HRT for several months before I told her I had started. My HRT doctor suggested a therapist, and amazingly enough the therapist's husband had transitioned (MTF) several years ago. Their marriage did not survive, but it certainly gave her insight into the situation. Every time it looked like things were falling apart for us I asked my wife if she wanted to leave. She always said 'no' and told me that she loved me. My wife is happier now than she had been in many years. It is hard when the person you love can't see the pain in your life and recognize that you are doing this for them, as well as yourself. How can your partner be happy when you are in pain?

If your marriage does come to an end, please consider it to be a new beginning. Love will find it's way back into your life one day, and you will find a partner who loves you for who you are.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

bless you Jessica. Who knows, we may survive this, but either way I know I am loved and blessed wherever I go. Thank you
Above all, love

Offline gracefulhat

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #46 on: December 21, 2018, 11:56:38 pm »
My name has officially been changed to Jamie Kyla ...  ;D :D :D ;D 
I had to appear before a judge on Thursday and I was a little nervous that there would be all kinds of people there for various reasons and I thought the government workers would be cold. It was the exact opposite! There were only people changing their names and half of us were trans women, one who I happen to know. The judge and assistant were very kind and they even helped me to fill out some blank areas I had left on my papers.
This morning I had the paper certified by the Clerk's Office. I wasn't aware there was a fee, thankfully the clerk waived the  fee out of kindness and I wished her a Merry Christmas beforr zooming over to the social security office to change their records, which is free. 
In the morning I plan to  have my driver's license changed and then I'll start working on a passport, the bank, work...etc
Above all, love

Online Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #47 on: December 22, 2018, 01:13:49 am »
@gracefulhat
Dear Jamie Kyla:
Very exciting news, you must be very thrilled to have this important and big step in your transition journey completed.

Lots of footwork and paper work to continue to get all the documents and licenses changed to your proper gender and legal name...   that task can take longer than you think it will because just when you thought that everything was done, something new pops up, or some important letter comes in the mail or email that may require your attention to those details.

You will however continue to get junk mail junk email and spam email for a long time with the wrong name and gender.

Again, very exciting news for sure, I am so very happy for you.
Thank you for sharing.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Offline Jessica_Rose

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #48 on: December 22, 2018, 05:31:56 am »
Congratulations Jamie!!!  :eusa_clap:

This was a giant step forward in your journey. All of the government offices I worked with were great about the name change process, unfortunately some of the private companies are not so easy to deal with. I had to simply abandon a few of the credit card and online store accounts. As Danielle mentioned, this is a very time-consuming process, so start now. I have found the further down the road I travel, the more painful seeing my dead name becomes.

Let me be one of the first to wish Jamie Kyla a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

Love always -- Jessica Rose
My journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
My National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out - Jessica Rose
My GCS Thread - GCS and BA with Dr. Ley on 21 Feb 2019 - Jessica_Rose
23 Mar 2017 - Started Estradiol  //  16 Feb 2018 - Full Time!  //  21 Feb 2019 - GCS w/Dr. Ley
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot



Offline Linde

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #49 on: December 22, 2018, 07:15:50 am »
Congratulations Jamie!
I plan the same steps for the first part of next year, once my orchidektomie has been done.
I wait until than with the name change, because I want to have some kind of physical evidence that there is nor way back for me!
With my name changing, I hope I will have an as smooth sailing as you had!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy







Offline gracefulhat

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #50 on: December 22, 2018, 07:44:46 am »
@gracefulhat
Dear Jamie Kyla:
Very exciting news, you must be very thrilled to have this important and big step in your transition journey completed.

Lots of footwork and paper work to continue to get all the documents and licenses changed to your proper gender and legal name...   that task can take longer than you think it will because just when you thought that everything was done, something new pops up, or some important letter comes in the mail or email that may require your attention to those details.

You will however continue to get junk mail junk email and spam email for a long time with the wrong name and gender.

Again, very exciting news for sure, I am so very happy for you.
Thank you for sharing.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle


Yes, I think I'm mentally prepared that it's going to be a journey. I created a new email 6 months ago with my new name and have been using that since so the junk email hopefully won't be too bad
Above all, love

Offline gracefulhat

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #51 on: December 22, 2018, 07:46:16 am »
Congratulations Jamie!!!  :eusa_clap:

This was a giant step forward in your journey. All of the government offices I worked with were great about the name change process, unfortunately some of the private companies are not so easy to deal with. I had to simply abandon a few of the credit card and online store accounts. As Danielle mentioned, this is a very time-consuming process, so start now. I have found the further down the road I travel, the more painful seeing my dead name becomes.

Let me be one of the first to wish Jamie Kyla a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Thank you!  Merry Christmas to you too😋
Above all, love

Offline gracefulhat

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #52 on: December 22, 2018, 09:25:45 am »
Congratulations Jamie!
I plan the same steps for the first part of next year, once my orchidektomie has been done.
I wait until than with the name change, because I want to have some kind of physical evidence that there is nor way back for me!
With my name changing, I hope I will have an as smooth sailing as you had!

I'm so happy for you getting the orchiectomy soon. I hope to have it done in August
Above all, love

Offline Linde

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #53 on: December 22, 2018, 03:46:15 pm »
I'm so happy for you getting the orchiectomy soon. I hope to have it done in August
Let's see if we can do a race who gets it first!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy







Offline gracefulhat

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #54 on: December 22, 2018, 04:16:20 pm »
Let's see if we can do a race who gets it first!

You're on!
Above all, love

Offline gracefulhat

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #55 on: January 26, 2019, 10:40:11 pm »
Coming up on 6 months HRT ☺️ Time has been ridiculously slow and fast and I thought physically I would be further but it's good to celebrate a milestone
Above all, love

Offline Linde

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #56 on: January 26, 2019, 11:48:18 pm »
Coming up on 6 months HRT ☺️ Time has been ridiculously slow and fast and I thought physically I would be further but it's good to celebrate a milestone

I feel that our face/hair line has made quite a change towards femininity!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy







Offline cargurl72

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #57 on: January 27, 2019, 01:13:15 am »
Nice video Jamie. Funny I was just thinking about you today. Hadn't talked to you in a couple of weeks. I hope to find out something on Monday on starting speech therapy.

Offline gracefulhat

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #58 on: January 27, 2019, 09:12:29 am »
Nice video Jamie. Funny I was just thinking about you today. Hadn't talked to you in a couple of weeks. I hope to find out something on Monday on starting speech therapy.

Thank you for thinking thinking about me girl! Please post on how it goes Monday about the speech therapy ☺️. I've been trying to stay busy lately so the time will  go faster. I've also been in two different trans support groups that meet weekly and it's so nice to be around our people. There's an understanding and acceptance that I've never experienced.
Above all, love

Offline gracefulhat

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Re: Better late than never, Jamie
« Reply #59 on: March 15, 2019, 11:09:36 pm »
So quick update: I've been on hrt for over 7 months. My Endo increased both spironolactone and estradiol doses  which even within a week I can see alot of changes. I had a consultation with Dr. Jeffrey Goodwin of First Urology and it seems my surgery date for an orchiectomy will be August 27th  :D. I have been somewhat active in a trans support group and have met many new and lovely trans persons and even some spouses. Work is going okay, everyone has been kind so far. Last week I bought new Spring cloths and have changed from wearing a sports bra in public to a 34A bra. Mmm guess that covers alot of it. Thanks for reading  ;D
Above all, love

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