Author Topic: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?  (Read 5826 times)

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Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #60 on: February 17, 2020, 04:22:14 pm »
Is there anything you did not expect from transitioning, after starting transitioning?

Chrissy

I expected some family members to be more adaptive. They're had 35 years since I gave them a heads up and more than 30 years to adapt. They still make the occasional pronoun slip after a third of a century. I think it's pathetic.

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #61 on: February 17, 2020, 05:03:16 pm »
I expected some family members to be more adaptive. They're had 35 years since I gave them a heads up and more than 30 years to adapt. They still make the occasional pronoun slip after a third of a century. I think it's pathetic.

Those are long timeframes.  Sorry.

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline josie76

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #62 on: February 18, 2020, 07:47:24 am »
What I like best: freedom. Free to be natural. No more hiding who I am and no more constantly watching myself so I don't give myself away.

Least: fear. Now that I am visible I have fear. Fear for my safety. Fear of men reacting badly to just seeing me. Also the fear of men's sexual nature toward women. I lived hidden among men and heard what they often say when in a group and no women around. Although some rise above it many fall into seeing women as sexual objects and not much else.
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Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #63 on: February 18, 2020, 08:06:39 am »
Those are long timeframes.  Sorry.

Chrissy

Chrissy, you are always kind. The thing is that I pass. They've got all the visual cues, plus decades to adapt. They might need another 30 years.

Offline Julielynn

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #64 on: February 18, 2020, 04:02:55 pm »
They still make the occasional pronoun slip after a third of a century. I think it's pathetic.

If it makes you feel better, I still do it too with a friend of mine.   If you've spent a lifetime around someone, you get in a rut/habit that's hard to break.   You'd think I'd be better at not messing that up of all people.  At least you know it's probably not intentional in some cases. 

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #65 on: July 12, 2020, 11:20:03 am »
It can take a long time to get ready to go out sometimes.
I’m no outside much at all now but I do remember these longer timeframes as compared to going out looking like a guy.  But, the athletic casual look is not that time consuming.


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Pammie

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #66 on: July 12, 2020, 12:15:48 pm »
It can take a long time to get ready to go out sometimes.
I’m no outside much at all now but I do remember these longer timeframes as compared to going out looking like a guy.  But, the athletic casual look is not that time consuming.


Chrissy
Getting ready is such a fun thing to do though! I spent 20 minutes every evening picking an outfit for the next day then I invariably change my mind the next day! The actual getting ready bit is just a natural part of my day. . I remember in my past half-life getting ready was a minimum time thing like you say but then I had no interest or pride in how I looked. Now I wanna knock em dead every I go out.


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Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #67 on: July 12, 2020, 12:36:24 pm »
Getting ready is such a fun thing to do though! I spent 20 minutes every evening picking an outfit for the next day then I invariably change my mind the next day! The actual getting ready bit is just a natural part of my day. . I remember in my past half-life getting ready was a minimum time thing like you say but then I had no interest or pride in how I looked. Now I wanna knock em dead every I go out.


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Pammie,


Knock them dead!   :)


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Pammie

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #68 on: July 12, 2020, 01:29:23 pm »
Pammie,


Knock them dead!   :)


Chrissy
One tries! 



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Offline Sophiaprincess2019

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #69 on: July 12, 2020, 06:47:12 pm »
Best and worst parts of transition:

Worst:

Social alienation and being the most hated group of the LGBT community. People being afraid of you. Losing friends and family. Having to throw away my entire wardrobe and buy new clothes. Taking an hour or more to get ready. The battle with facial hair. Losing male privilege. Becoming physically weaker.

Best:

The questions of why I felt this way have been answered, even if it took 50 years!  I'm now at ease being myself, I can relax, the search is over. I love being part of a ladies group at my local hair salon. When a man comes in we quickly switch our conversations to make sure he's comfortable in a room full of women; once he leaves we go back to gaggling, it's a riot. I also love watching my progress. It's truly amazing what one chemical can do to a person's body and mind. I also like the feeling of being content. I've become more satisfied with my life, probably because a large part of my inner anxiety has disappeared. I love the feeling of tranquility and being transgender provides that.






1968 Assigned male at birth with feminine mannerisms
1978 Dolls and dresses
1988 Experimental stage, limited makeup and clothes
1998 Denial continues, unsuccessfully tried living as a man
12-8-2018 Knew I was a woman, time for a change....
2-22-2019 Started HRT
8-9-2019 Legal Name Change
8-14-2019 New Drivers License issued with correct gender
9-5-2019 Social Security card updated
10-12-2019 Birth certificate updated
2-22-2020 One year HRT

Offline ChrissyRyan

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As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #70 on: November 28, 2020, 06:16:30 am »
Thanks ladies for sharing out.

Chrissy
 
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Jane.Shannon

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #71 on: December 02, 2020, 01:43:30 am »
Least: I miss how simple life was.  I was in a heteronormative, Caucasian family with a husband, a wife, and two kids.  We were the default American family.  We could go anywhere and be treated respectfully without fear. If places were not safe for us, we honestly had zero reason to be there.  Now I am in a semi-LGBTQ family.  I say semi because my wife isn't LGBTQ, but she is in a LGBTQ relationship.  Now I know fear.  I see a group of 20 something men or people waving MAGA signs and become concerned for the safety of my family and myself.  I know hate, because some people now hate me just because I am trans.  Without knowing me, or caring about me as a person.

Most: No more hiding, I get to live a life of truth.  Not that my life before was a lie, I had a great life and I was often happy.  I think it is more like a multiple choice test.  Male was a possible correct answer for me, but female was not only a correct answer it was the best answer.  I never let myself fully explore my gender before.  I think I always knew the answer, so I happy to explore this and become the best me.
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Offline Angelaney

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #72 on: December 02, 2020, 03:07:50 am »
Least: I miss how simple life was.  I was in a heteronormative, Caucasian family with a husband, a wife, and two kids.  We were the default American family.  We could go anywhere and be treated respectfully without fear. If places were not safe for us, we honestly had zero reason to be there.  Now I am in a semi-LGBTQ family.  I say semi because my wife isn't LGBTQ, but she is in a LGBTQ relationship. Now I know fear.  I see a group of 20 something men or people waving MAGA signs and become concerned for the safety of my family and myself.  I know hate, because some people now hate me just because I am trans.  Without knowing me, or caring about me as a person.

Most: No more hiding, I get to live a life of truth.  Not that my life before was a lie, I had a great life and I was often happy.  I think it is more like a multiple choice test.  Male was a possible correct answer for me, but female was not only a correct answer it was the best answer.  I never let myself fully explore my gender before.  I think I always knew the answer, so I happy to explore this and become the best me.

I think that's one of the worst things to come out of the last 4 years, the way the media has marginalised groups of people and pitted them against each other in a bid to interfere with US politics.

People just hate eachother because of their identity and presumed political allegiances and it's happened on a huge scale, it's even spread to the UK through twitter, in recent years i've had ordinary people approaching me, assuming that i'm some sort of activist, making some really nasty comments "oh you're one of those crazy rainbow/alphabet people", but it didn't happen like this 4 years ago, not from normal everyday people.

I seem to get dragged into being affiliated with people at the extreme end of some political agenda, on the other hand I also feel i'm being told who I should hate, who I should blame, who I should fear, who I should like, who I shouldn't blame, who I shouldn't fear, but never why, it's all emotional, no facts or evidence are ever provided.
I'm picking up these things even when my personal experiences disagree with them, i've had to turn off the television and I mostly avoid social media :(

Offline Pammie

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #73 on: December 02, 2020, 08:59:34 am »
Least
The overwhelming and uncontrollable need to pass and the recognition that I’ve complicated my children’s lives (they are grown up but it’s been such a challenge for them and my youngest - she is only 22 - is still finding it hard)

Most
It’s hard to describe but I’ll just say I am whole, complete, finally at peace
I adore being me and also love the loss of the clouding effect of “T”


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Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #74 on: December 02, 2020, 09:30:32 am »
If it makes you feel better, I still do it too with a friend of mine.   If you've spent a lifetime around someone, you get in a rut/habit that's hard to break.   You'd think I'd be better at not messing that up of all people.  At least you know it's probably not intentional in some cases.

Julie, I wish I took comfort in it not being intentional, which I do believe, but you wrote about spending "a lifetime around someone" and I've lived that lifetime. 35 years is a lifetime. They've had time to adjust. Thus, I take no comfort in the unintentionality of the situation. I suggested a fine, payable to a favorite charity. With the first mistake, they pay $25. With the second, $50. With the third, $100, and so on. They said it would make them too anxious and I said, "Welcome to my reality."

At least, if they were feeding the hungry with their blunders, I'd take some comfort.

Offline Pammie

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #75 on: December 02, 2020, 09:33:45 am »
Julie, I wish I took comfort in it not being intentional, which I do believe, but you wrote about spending "a lifetime around someone" and I've lived that lifetime. 35 years is a lifetime. They've had time to adjust. Thus, I take no comfort in the unintentionality of the situation. I suggested a fine, payable to a favorite charity. With the first mistake, they pay $25. With the second, $50. With the third, $100, and so on. They said it would make them too anxious and I said, "Welcome to my reality."

At least, if they were feeding the hungry with their blunders, I'd take some comfort.
I so agree - after only 3 years I have withdrawn my brothers free pass and may well introduce the fine concept! Xx


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Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #76 on: December 02, 2020, 09:49:02 am »
I so agree - after only 3 years I have withdrawn my brothers free pass and may well introduce the fine concept! Xx


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Good luck getting him to agree! I failed in persuading my mother and sister to agree to the deal, which is its own form of misery, when you realize that they love their money more than me and feeding the poor.

Offline Pammie

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As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #77 on: December 02, 2020, 09:53:39 am »
Good luck getting him to agree! I failed in persuading my mother and sister to agree to the deal, which is its own form of misery, when you realize that they love their money more than me and feeding the poor.
I don’t hold out much hope if im honest. I wrote and sent him a poem about how important my big brother is to me which he loved and i’m hoping it will change how he thinks of me - fingers crossed. My mam died 12 months before I discovered myself which is a blessing in disguise because she would never have accepted me xx


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Offline Oldandcreaky

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #78 on: December 02, 2020, 12:00:08 pm »
I don’t hold out much hope if im honest. I wrote and sent him a poem about how important my big brother is to me which he loved and i’m hoping it will change how he thinks of me - fingers crossed. My mam died 12 months before I discovered myself which is a blessing in disguise because she would never have accepted me xx


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Pammie, here's hoping the power of your pen pushes his dial across the gender line.

Offline Pammie

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Re: As mtf, what do you like the most and least as part of transitioning?
« Reply #79 on: December 02, 2020, 03:23:26 pm »
Pammie, here's hoping the power of your pen pushes his dial across the gender line.
Well i’m no poet laureate but I think it was quite an emotional plea


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