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Is it “invading” their space if we as mtfs dine at a gay/lesbian restaurant?

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ChrissyRyan:
I realize that a public restaurant should be clearly open to all.  I was wondering if we as mtfs are invading gay and lesbian establishments if we are patrons, and not also guests of gay or lesbians?

I have been reading online that the greater public acceptance of gays and lesbians, neighborhood gentrification, cis-women having bachelorette parties at gay and lesbian establishments, and so on have contributed to less of a gay and lesbian environment in many gay and lesbian bars and restaurants.

Futhermore, because of greater gay and lesbian acceptance, gays and lesbians are far more comfortable going anywhere, and this is causing gay and lesbian establishments’ business to often slow down, resulting in some gay and lesbian establishments to close.

While one can say that our money is good as that of gays and lesbians, that these gay and lesbian establishments are public places, I am a woman sensitive to others, including the feelings of gays and lesbians that their gay and lesbians venues are perhaps being eroded by <transgender people> or straight people. Further, as some online articles state, there are various types of gay and lesbian bars and restaurants.  Look at articles on the Internet about all of this, as that can make for interesting reading and you can see diverse perspectives.

I suppose we could say, go, why not, if you do not feel comfortable there, do not return.
But I do care about people’s feelings, not just mine.  Thoughtfulness can go a very long way.

What do you think about this, should we just go, or go if as a guest of a gay or lesbian, or go if a lgbt supporting event or meal is being held at that gay or lesbian establishment?


Chrissy


KathyLauren:
TBH, I don't know how I would be aware that a restaurant was a lesbian space until I had seen the clientelle, and even then, it might take me a while to catch on.  A restaurant is a public space, and they cannot exclude people (at least not in this part of the world).  So it is not a case of invading "their space".  It is just choosing to eat at a particular establishment.

Since I would most likely be dining with my wife, we would obviously be a same-sex couple.  If it truly is a lesbian restaurant, we would be the type of customers they would want.  I don't disclose my trans status to random strangers or to wait staff.  The only way the issue could come up would be if someone read me and decided to be rude about it.

I can understand if individuals, gay or straight, take a dislike to me for whatever reason.  Their loss.  But I don't offend most people, not even most lesbians.  So I just can't see it being an issue.

RandiL:
We have limited options where I live, it being a mid-sized city. The "primary" gay & lesbian bar has very much accepted the trans* community as well, such as hosting a Thanksgiving meal and our "Empire" events. Between Drag and Trans, it seems pretty unified and open.

As you said, our money is a good as anybody else's, and I feel like they're happy to have more customers and more energy.

I have seen some of the cis-female gatherings going on there too, but they don't feel intrusive to me -- they are at their tables and seem to be there for the same reason of celebration and joy as anybody else.

Donica:
In my neck of the world, it is common place as most of the gay and lesbian bars often have different nights of different types. A lot of them have drag queen shows on different nights. I'm just guessing here but I don't think there is an issue. I've never heard of any such issues.

An interesting question though Chrissy. Definitely worth exploring.

ChrissyRyan:

--- Quote from: Donica on December 01, 2018, 01:02:55 pm ---In my neck of the world, it is common place as most of the gay and lesbian bars often have different nights of different types. A lot of them have drag queen shows on different nights. I'm just guessing here but I don't think there is an issue. I've never heard of any such issues.

An interesting question though Chrissy. Definitely worth exploring.

--- End quote ---


Donica,

When I went online to explore the question of if transpeople are accepted at gay and lesbian establishments, I found a trove of articles.  Some of these articles led me to pose the question in this thread.  Some articles mentioned that gays and lesbians establishments were losing their original atmosphere of providing exclusive spaces where they can be accepted. 

A more diverse clientele can bring in more revenues though and that is good for the businesses, unless I suppose it drives away larger parts of their base clientele of gays and lesbians that more than offsets the revenue gain from non-gays becoming patrons.

If straight people (or anyone, including gays and lesbians) go to these places, often marked by various lgbt flags or signs, and they feel uncomfortable, they likely will not return.  They should expect to see gay or trans couples, and some may greet or say good-bye to each other by hugging or sharing a quick kiss.  Perhaps they should now expect to see trans people, including those who may not pass well.  It may be difficult for anyone to know if someone there is straight, gay or lesbian, or trans in any case.  One would wish no one would care, and instead, embrace all.

However, this does route back to the original question, if a more diverse clientele attend, the atmosphere could be unwelcome by some gays and lesbians, or embraced by some, or some do not care, as people are people!  Are we invading as mtfs invading their spaces to their detriment?

Chrissy

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