Author Topic: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?  (Read 5049 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline ChrissyRyan

  • “Have a gentle manner”
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 29,848
  • Reputation: +36/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • No act of kindness, however small, is wasted.
Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« on: December 08, 2018, 09:49:15 am »
Being misgendered or clocked is bad enough but as a mtf when you are told something like, “You should spend time with a psychiatrist or a psychologist because this wanting to be a woman sounds like there could be something that you really need to figure out that is troubling you, because it is not right for someone born as a male to think that he is a woman in the wrong body.  That is really weird.”

Have you heard anything like that mentioned to you, or in conversations about transgender people in general?  They do not understand transgender issues, do they? 

Chrissy


Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline KathyLauren

  • *
  • Posts: 6,630
  • Reputation: +79/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Casting off dull certainty
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2018, 09:56:24 am »
Yes, I have heard stuff like that.  Fortunately not specifically directed at me.  No, you are right, they have no understanding of trans issues at all.  If you can ignore them, unfriend them, or otherwise get them out of your life, I'd suggest doing so.

It is tempting to engage them to educate them, but that is a losing battle.  Idiots will drag you down to their level and then beat you with their experience at being stupid.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2019-10-18 Phone consultation for GRS; 2020-03-11 GRS!; 2020-09-30 New birth certificate




Offline Paul Muad-Dib

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,381
  • Reputation: +74/-0
  • Gender: Male
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2018, 11:06:16 am »
People tend to avoid getting personal with me on the social media groups. Never had someone get personal IRL; if family members have something to say, they haven't had the stones to say it to my face.

One guy started a general "debate" of sorts with me in a group recently, which at first seemed like he was trying to make logical points and learn what transsexualism is, only for him to devolve into "y'all need Jesus" when he ran out of 'points'. He made himself look a complete moron in front of a group of 1000+ members; happy to intellectually savage him in public since he was trying to appear both intelligent and virtuous ("I have sympathy and pity for these people" only later to become "you're all going to hell"), but he was neither, and wasted my time. Haven't seen him posting since. 

Other than that nothing directed at me. See people complaining about transgender activism and lobbying tactics a lot, but grief's usually directed at changing laws than at transsexualism itself. They know there's a difference between the medical condition and the activism. Most people are still ignorant of what transsexualism is, or feels like, goes without saying they probably always will be.

Offline Kayden

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 282
  • Reputation: +3/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2018, 11:16:17 am »
I have absolutely heard it before. Not directed to me but the people who said these things still don’t know everything about me. When I was 16 a family friend came out as transgender. A couple of people told my brothers and I that she is immoral and unnatural. They refused to call her “she/her”. They told us what she was doing was wrong and this was her covering up part of her life.

These are my parents..

Totally looking forward to telling them what I’ve felt my whole life.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Offline Lisa89125

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 793
  • Reputation: +3/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2018, 11:47:09 am »
Chrissy, Almost word for word that is what I heard from my sister when I came out to her.  :'(

Sky, I hope your parents ain't too harsh. My mom was always opposed to gay rights and and thought trans people were weirdos. When I came out it didn't go as well as I had hoped. At least for me I had shown signs when I was younger. I still don't know to what effect that had on acceptance? My mom passed away before I ever got to find out everything I wanted to know. I know she would never write what she felt as I had requested her to do. I came out in a series of letters. I had wanted to get one in return with moms genuine thoughts and feelings. I know she just wanted me to be happy. I think I devastated her with the truth of not being happy or even being myself all these years.

Lisa

"My inner self knows better than my outer self my true gender"

Offline Devlyn

  • The Forum Administrator
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 31,482
  • Reputation: +242/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • devlynmarie@susans.org
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2018, 11:59:04 am »
Told me? Nah, they don't come that stupid.
Veteran, US Army

GingerVicki

Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #6 on: December 08, 2018, 12:00:03 pm »
I told someone who I spoke to quite a few times and he stated that I am super crazy. He also said that he thought that I was good looking as a guy and that I am ruining myself. He told me that he was interested in me and then we never talked again.

And this sums up most of my experience with gay men. Pansexual men seem very interested in me. Even some cis lesbians, but not gay men. I guess it makes sense on some level.

Offline Linde

  • Full time for some time
  • *
  • Posts: 6,268
  • Reputation: +21/-1
  • Gender: Female
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #7 on: December 08, 2018, 12:15:35 pm »
I was told yesterday i should think it over.  The exact words were " you ran around with a penis for all those years, and now it is all of a sudden not good enough for you anymore?  You probably should check this over with a shrink!"


Offline NatalieRene

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 951
  • Reputation: +7/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #8 on: December 08, 2018, 12:28:25 pm »
People tend to avoid getting personal with me on the social media groups. Never had someone get personal IRL; if family members have something to say, they haven't had the stones to say it to my face.

One guy started a general "debate" of sorts with me in a group recently, which at first seemed like he was trying to make logical points and learn what transsexualism is, only for him to devolve into "y'all need Jesus" when he ran out of 'points'. He made himself look a complete moron in front of a group of 1000+ members; happy to intellectually savage him in public since he was trying to appear both intelligent and virtuous ("I have sympathy and pity for these people" only later to become "you're all going to hell"), but he was neither, and wasted my time. Haven't seen him posting since. 

Other than that nothing directed at me. See people complaining about transgender activism and lobbying tactics a lot, but grief's usually directed at changing laws than at transsexualism itself. They know there's a difference between the medical condition and the activism. Most people are still ignorant of what transsexualism is, or feels like, goes without saying they probably always will be.
Lol it seems no one has figured out yet that God is the only entity that casts final judgment and it’s funny when they are proclaiming that we will all burn in hell that they forget that a Jesus cleaned a prostitutes feet and saved her from being stoned despite sinning and used it to teach her a lesson instead of condemning her. They also seem to forget that if you accept Jesus into them selves that he will save them in the time of judgment. Which is odd because back when I went to church that was constantly emphasized. Without Jesus every one of us born on this rock would go to hell. I find these bigots laughable.

I haven’t had to deal with it much if at all since starting HRT. For about a month it was bad but after a few months my neighbors didn’t even recognize me.

My issue before STS was not being able to be intimate. I didn’t want anyone who liked me because of the plumbing and the guys I met I couldn’t get too close because I really didn’t want to have to explain about being trans. The one person I did open up freaked out and it hurt.

Offline ChrissyRyan

  • “Have a gentle manner”
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 29,848
  • Reputation: +36/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • No act of kindness, however small, is wasted.
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #9 on: December 08, 2018, 12:57:59 pm »
I have to admit that I disklike it more when someone under the lgbtq++ umbrella is being unwelcoming and disparaging to trans-people solely for being trans, than when straight people do that, although both situations are not good at all.  Both situations are disappointing.

It just seems like those in the lgbtq++ umbrella, regardless what category, likely have been ostracized as a group or even personally and they should be empathetic and welcoming of trans-people.  Apparently even some trans-people are not respectful of some other trans-people because of some type of trans-related difference.  That seems very odd. 

Her “transgender flavor” is strawberry, his is chocolate, yours is vanilla.  So what?  We all struggle, we are all people with feelings.  We want acceptance and support.  Kindness goes a long way.   :)

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Linde

  • Full time for some time
  • *
  • Posts: 6,268
  • Reputation: +21/-1
  • Gender: Female
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #10 on: December 08, 2018, 01:03:27 pm »
 

Her “transgender flavor” is strawberry, his is chocolate, yours is vanilla.  So what?  We all struggle, we are all people with feelings.  We want acceptance and support.  Kindness goes a long way.   :)

Chrissy
But you have to admit that the strawberry flavor is really the better trans flavor!   >:-) :angel: ;D


Offline barbie

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 5,682
  • Reputation: +68/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • I change my avatar every week
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #11 on: December 08, 2018, 01:08:56 pm »
English is not my native language, but isn't 'weird' a kind of synonym for 'queer'? 'Queer' is already widely used for describing LGBT people.

Yes. Most people say my behavior and appearance is weird, but some of them confess that they were surprised that I am so much ordinary once they became intimate with me.

barbie~~
Just do it.

GingerVicki

Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #12 on: December 08, 2018, 01:11:09 pm »
I have to admit that I disklike it more when someone under the lgbtq++ umbrella is being unwelcoming and disparaging to trans-people solely for being trans, than when straight people do that, although both situations are not good at all.  Both situations are disappointing.

It just seems like those in the lgbtq++ umbrella, regardless what category, likely have been ostracized as a group or even personally and they should be empathetic and welcoming of trans-people.  Apparently even some trans-people are not respectful of some other trans-people because of some type of trans-related difference.  That seems very odd. 

Her “transgender flavor” is strawberry, his is chocolate, yours is vanilla.  So what?  We all struggle, we are all people with feelings.  We want acceptance and support.  Kindness goes a long way.   :)

Chrissy

People just don't get it.  :icon_cry2:

Colleen_definitely

Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #13 on: December 08, 2018, 01:15:35 pm »


English is not my native language, but isn't 'weird' a kind of synonym for 'queer'? 'Queer' is already widely used for describing LGBT people.

The word queer was used in this context but that was quite long ago.

In this case the word weird is being used like "strange" or "unusual" with a negative connotation.

Offline Devlyn

  • The Forum Administrator
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 31,482
  • Reputation: +242/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • devlynmarie@susans.org
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #14 on: December 08, 2018, 01:20:06 pm »

The word queer was used in this context but that was quite long ago.

In this case the word weird is being used like "strange" or "unusual" with a negative connotation.

I like how Portland uses it:  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keep_Portland_Weird
Veteran, US Army

Offline ChrissyRyan

  • “Have a gentle manner”
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 29,848
  • Reputation: +36/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • No act of kindness, however small, is wasted.
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #15 on: December 08, 2018, 01:26:50 pm »
English is not my native language, but isn't 'weird' a kind of synonym for 'queer'? 'Queer' is already widely used for describing LGBT people.

Yes. Most people say my behavior and appearance is weird, but some of them confess that they were surprised that I am so much ordinary once they became intimate with me.

barbie~~


Hi Barbie.

I think that queer can be used as a synonym for strange, weird, unusual, or peculiar.  In this thread, the word “weird” was being used like strange, unusual, or odd, in a conversation that was not affirming in any way, in fact, in a negative or disparaging manner.

However, the word queer has often been used nowadays to refer to people with same-sex sexual identity or desires.  That may have become the primary meaning or usage of the weird queer, although it is also now becoming used for gender identity situation descriptions when the person’s gender does not conform only to the birth sex of the person.

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline barbie

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 5,682
  • Reputation: +68/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • I change my avatar every week
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #16 on: December 08, 2018, 02:03:58 pm »
I like how Portland uses it:  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keep_Portland_Weird

Oh. I didn't know that, but I guess I might have been weird enough there.

 

barbie~~
Just do it.

Offline Paul Muad-Dib

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,381
  • Reputation: +74/-0
  • Gender: Male
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #17 on: December 08, 2018, 03:09:34 pm »
Lol it seems no one has figured out yet that God is the only entity that casts final judgment.

Aye, they can't even absorb their own dogma, much less facts.

Ask them how exactly someone is supposed to "pray the trans away" though and they really show themselves up.

Offline dee82

  • *
  • Posts: 261
  • Reputation: +4/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Cats have figured it out.
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #18 on: December 08, 2018, 03:38:13 pm »
No, it hasn't happened to me. At Christmas will be having big family lunch with a lot of relatives I don't normally see, so who knows? I suspect some may think it, but will be too polite to say anything.

It will be the first time for a lot of them seeing me looking feminine so I am sure it will be an interesting time for all.

I have a cis male friend, who I think doesn't really get it, from what he says he still thinks I am a man, who *decided to become* a woman which I find annoying, but I understand it's a big leap in his thinking understanding what trans is.

~Dee.

Offline Kirsteneklund7

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,021
  • Reputation: +13/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • STRENGTH THROUGH VULNERABILITY
Re: Has anyone flat out told you that you are weird for being mtf?
« Reply #19 on: December 08, 2018, 04:00:28 pm »
 Yes I have been told flat out face to face that I am weird for being trans. This has happened at work where reputation and trust are very important. I maintain a fleet of medical aircraft for a living and people need to know you are totally serious about the job.

 I now have breasts that show, longish hair - often tied back- I think I may be entering the weird phase between genders.

 I am liked and respected at work but people are talking. I must make a statement at the next engineers meeting. I feel steadfast even though this will result in some harm and some good.


  I dont mind being weird!

                                      Kirsten x.

ps Avatar is 2016
As a child prayed to be a girl- now the prayer is being answered - 40 years later !

Tags: