Author Topic: New to everything  (Read 134 times)

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Offline emillielane

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New to everything
« on: December 08, 2018, 12:36:01 pm »
i really suck at introductions...

My name is Emillie Lane. i'm a 38-year-old stay-at-home mother. i came out to most of my family, and close friends on July 3rd of this year. Before that, i'd been struggling both with admitting it to myself, as well as trying to figure out how to move forward. My therapist has known for a year, or so, but she's not the greatest therapist (she's what i can afford). Thankfully, my immediate family have all been extremely supportive. They, and my friend's responses were pretty much "Well, that explains a lot," or "It's about damn time." The only ones left to tell are my parents, and i already have a good idea of how that will go. They're both very conservative, very religious, and very vocal about transgender people and LGBT+ topics in general. i'm waiting until after Christmas, so my daughter can have at least one more before they disown me (seriously).

i have a variety of other mental illnesses that make transitioning a bit trying. On top of those, there are years of self-esteem issues to try to work through. Suffice it to say that it's hard to see myself as anything other than a homely, masculine woman. On the plus side (maybe), i've only been on HRT for a few months, and i'm already seeing some physical changes.

i'm hoping to find information on a variety of topics here. Everything from "How the hell do i put on makeup?" to "How do i deal with [X] issue?" But mostly i'm wanting to associate with others like me. Agoraphobia makes it impossible to go to a local support group, so finding a community online is my only option right now.

Offline Alaskan Danielle

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Re: New to everything
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2018, 12:42:14 pm »
i really suck at introductions...

My name is Emillie Lane. i'm a 38-year-old stay-at-home mother. i came out to most of my family, and close friends on July 3rd of this year. Before that, i'd been struggling both with admitting it to myself, as well as trying to figure out how to move forward. My therapist has known for a year, or so, but she's not the greatest therapist (she's what i can afford). Thankfully, my immediate family have all been extremely supportive. They, and my friend's responses were pretty much "Well, that explains a lot," or "It's about damn time." The only ones left to tell are my parents, and i already have a good idea of how that will go. They're both very conservative, very religious, and very vocal about transgender people and LGBT+ topics in general. i'm waiting until after Christmas, so my daughter can have at least one more before they disown me (seriously).

i have a variety of other mental illnesses that make transitioning a bit trying. On top of those, there are years of self-esteem issues to try to work through. Suffice it to say that it's hard to see myself as anything other than a homely, masculine woman. On the plus side (maybe), i've only been on HRT for a few months, and i'm already seeing some physical changes.

i'm hoping to find information on a variety of topics here. Everything from "How the hell do i put on makeup?" to "How do i deal with [X] issue?" But mostly i'm wanting to associate with others like me. Agoraphobia makes it impossible to go to a local support group, so finding a community online is my only option right now.

@emillelane
Dear Emille Lane:
     I see that you have just joined Susan's Place and this is your very first posting on the Forums.  Thank you for telling us about yourself.
     I am most pleased that you had decided to join the Susan's Place site and the Forums.

    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation as you continue to feel free to share it.
 
    I also want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
   
    There is information and important LINKS that I have included below.   You will find information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle


Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 
Things that you should read
Check out my Personal Threads that have more details about myself (click Links):
   "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"
               "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"
                            "Susans Writers and Book Readers"

Started HRT March 2015, it's been an exciting journey
>>> I've been Full Time since December 2016 :icon_chick:
I am 38 years old, Single, and Self Employed in a small town up in the COLD North.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Offline Jessica_Rose

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Re: New to everything
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2018, 12:48:12 pm »
Emillie, welcome to Susan's Place! I am sure you will be able to find some of the information you are looking for here, and I can guarantee you will find a lot of support. I never joined a support group, I was able to find enough acceptance through the wonderful members of this site that I never really felt it was necessary. It is great that your immediate family is supporting this, it makes the journey quite a bit easier.

By the way, when I started I remember looking in the mirror and thinking that I was going to be an ugly woman. The magic of HRT combined with the joy of finally becoming my true self has performed wonders!
My journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
My National Coming Out Day video Coming Out - Jessica Rose
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
23 Mar 2017 - Started Estradiol
05 Feb 2018 - Legal Name Change
16 Feb 2018 - Out at work / Full Time!
05 Apr 2019 - GCS w/Dr. Ley



Online V M

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Re: New to everything
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2018, 05:03:05 pm »
Hi Emillie  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS

 
- V M

Offline dee82

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Re: New to everything
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2018, 05:24:16 pm »
Hi Emillie,

I know I find my time here helpful when I can't make it to a support (or friendship) group because life gets in the way. There is so much information and stories to read.

You ain't alone here.

Welcome.

~Dee.

Offline tgirlamg

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Re: New to everything
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2018, 07:10:36 pm »
Emillie!!!

Welcome aboard little sister!.... Congrats on the courageous step of coming out and declaring a truth you have kept hidden for a lifetime!… Having support from family and those you are close to will be wonderful foundation upon which you can build a new life that finally is a better reflection of you.... There is much to consider as one builds a new life and let’s what no longer serves them slip away... Amazing and unexpected discoveries await you... enjoy every step as you move forward in whatever way serves your needs and dreams... Please let us know how we can help!!!

Onward we go brave little sister!!!

Ashley 😀💕🌻
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

“The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself” ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Online Maid Marion

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Re: New to everything
« Reply #6 on: December 08, 2018, 07:17:50 pm »
Welcome Emille!

This is a good place to find others going through similar issues.  May you find peace.

Maid Marion.

Offline KimOct

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Re: New to everything
« Reply #7 on: December 08, 2018, 09:30:05 pm »
Hi Emillie,  I am glad you made it here.  I transitioned 2 and 1/2 years ago so it has not been that long for me.  It is so easy to remember.

It sounds as though you have several challenges going on so my advice is to take things slow but keep moving forward.
The thing about taking 'baby steps' is that you need to keep taking them.  When something that we want to do is hard it is easy to just keep putting it off.  You know that you want and need to do this but don't be hard on yourself.  Take your time but KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

Spend time on this site reading - asking questions - writing about things bothering you.  There are people that care.
The first person that helped me on this journey is right here reading this (Yeah I'm talking about you Ashley  :D  )

We do care because we have been there.

Regarding your therapist I understand this is who you can afford right now.  Having the right therapist is very important mine helps me a lot but If they are not right for you it won't help much.  Try finding options for another therapist.  Do research in your area - Google or your doctor - or contact community resources for mental health - that's what therapy is.

I am sure I will give you more advice in the future that you didn't ask for LOL  so I will close with - we are glad you are here !!
The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself

Offline Janes Groove

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Re: New to everything
« Reply #8 on: December 08, 2018, 10:50:27 pm »
Welcome to our little club Emillie.  I'm so glad you found us.
Assigned Male at Birth - 1958
Came out as Gay  1994
Came out, started living full time - Thanksgiving 2015
Started HRT - 5-27-2016

Estrogen HRT = the surprising arrival of a rainbow within me.

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