Author Topic: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?  (Read 3808 times)

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Offline BeckyCNJ

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This is more a philosophical question than a reality-based one but I curious how other women here would answer. When I've talked to my therapist and others who are cisgender I've told them that if somehow a pill came out that would remove dysphoria and there would be no harmful side effects, I doubt I would take it.

While I haven't transitioned (and don't expect to) and my dysphoria continues to be a great cause of distress, I feel as if I would be "killing off" a part of myself that I love. I don't quite have the words to explain this, and with the words I do have it may sound as if I'm talking multiple personality disorder, but Becky is such a part of who I am that to see her disappear, even if it provided welcome relief from my anguish, is not something I would be ready to do.

Fortunately, my dysphoria has never reached a crisis state where I've seriously contemplated suicide, and if I had I suppose my answer would change.

Getting a little deep on a rainy afternoon in New Jersey.

Becky

Offline Danielle M

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2018, 01:43:31 pm »
Yes I would take it in a heartbeat.

Offline BlueJaye

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2018, 01:44:16 pm »
Estradiol and spiro take away a large part of my dysphoria. If I could get the anatomy corrected I don’t think it would be much of an issue anymore.

Offline Shawnna

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2018, 03:04:54 pm »
There is a pill, called estradiol.  I’ve been on it for two and a half years and my suicidal ideation has been gone ever since.

It’s not perfect but I think its AMAZING! Better than the antidepressants I was taking before.



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Offline Katie Jade

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2018, 03:26:51 pm »
No I wouldn't. Im having too much fun transitioning. A pill like that would remove something but not everything about feeling wrong. E or T, depending, helps a lot but what removes GD is our own internal feelings of being who we really are. I have to do this for the 50 years I have lost and was uncomfortable with. I need to fight and win, a pill is an easy way out. Im a better person for fighting.
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Offline Randi

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2018, 05:13:10 pm »
A fine lot of good it would do me to take the pill.  I've already got substantial breasts and butt.

Once the line has been crossed there is no use in denial

Offline KathyLauren

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2018, 06:40:10 pm »
I'm with you Becky.  If someone had offered me a pill that would make Kathy go away, I wouldn't have taken it.  Kathy was and is me, who I am.  Get rid of who I am??  I don't think so. 

A pill that would allow Kathy to stay but be happy being a boy?  No, same thing.  That would be killing off a huge part of who I am.  I am only now starting to realize how much of my former life revolved around not wanting to be a boy.

But then, you are asking non-transitioners, and that is not me.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2019-10-18 Phone consultation for GRS; 2020-03-11 GRS!; 2020-09-30 New birth certificate




Offline Lisa89125

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2018, 07:47:58 pm »
No. I have to travel on the this journey of transition and wouldn't change a thing. This is who I am and I am happy to be transgender. It's the rest of the world that needs a pill. A get smart pill!  ;D

Lisa
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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2018, 07:52:38 pm »
Kinda a hard question. I do take pills to remove my dysphoria and they are Spironolactone and Estrogen patches.
Although, I believe that these do not count.

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2018, 08:10:55 pm »
No, I would not take such a pill if that means that I would not still be mtf.

To not have some gender dysphoria means it would be unlikely that I would be mtf.

There is nothing wrong being mtf.  That is what and who I am.  I am Chrissy.

I am just in the wrong body and I was not raised female on top of that.

To trade-in my trans status to not be trans is not what I want.

I accept the gender dysphoria that comes with that.

As I transition further, I think the dysphoria will diminish over time. It may never go away completely.  The more it goes away, good.

The speed of my transition is up to me.  But Chrissy is not going away.  I can’t.

Chrissy
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Offline Phlox1

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2018, 01:59:27 pm »
There were signs of dysphoria when I was a child, but I didn't know what it was.  It was mostly gone during my teen years and life was pretty good at that time.  It returned in my 20's and only got worse with each passing decade.  So if taking a pill would mean that the way I was during my teen years continued, and that I would be a more manly and more romantic husband and stronger fatherly figure to my children, then I would probably take it.  But it would need to do all those things.

Offline NatalieRene

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2018, 02:07:33 pm »
I would not take a pill that alters me on a mental level. The mind and our thought processes are what define us an individual. To take the pill I would effectively kill myself and someone else would be me. It sounds an awful lot like that one curative therapy session I got dragged to by my parents without telling me ahead of time.

laurenb

Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2018, 07:21:27 pm »
Take two Estradiol and call me in the new year  ;)

Offline SeptagonScars

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #13 on: December 28, 2018, 07:44:38 pm »
I will never understand the fear that you'd somehow be an entirely different person, or lose an aspect of yourself, if you were cis instead. Perhaps my perspective is just different, though. From the other side of the looking glass.

I took that kind of pill (in a metaphoric/figurative sense) and literally all that changed was that my dysphoria went away, I connected to my female body, and began to think of myself as a woman instead of as a man. And I really love seeing myself as a woman. Like a scarred but beautiful warrior queen, of sorts. My personality is exactly the same, and so is the rest of my life. Except from having to bring up my detransitioning all the damn time, and people complaining about having to change what name and pronouns they use for me AGAIN.

Of course I don't really mean it in a literal sense that I "was trans" or "got my dysphoria cured" for all I know but... I did live my entire life hating and feeling disconnected from my female sex characteristics that I got naturally due to being bio female, until fairly recently. I still refer to that feeling as "dysphoria" but if it was actual gender dysphoria? Debatable. As a child I felt like I was neither male or female, but acknowledged my body was female. In my early teens I was conflicted and kept shifting between thinking I was either a guy or gender neutral. At 15 I figured I was a trans guy, transitioned from age 19 and thought of myself as a binary man consistently until my detransition this summer, shortly after I turned 29. I have only ever felt like I am a girl/woman for the past 6 months of my life. It's but a fraction of my entire time on earth. Something like 0,0014% of it. With that said, I think I can at least jokingly say that for a cis person, I've been very trans.

I unintentionally began to heal my bottom dysphoria with intense self-therapy (I was just trying to figure out if I really wanted bottom surgery or not) and in less than 2 months it went from severly bad dysphoria to absolutely loving that part of my body, for the first time ever. I could do the same with the rest of my remaining femaleness, which was essentially just my wide hips additionally, cause of being far into transition. And because I was far into my FtM transition... when my originial dysphoria healed away, it unfortunately got replaced with medically induced dysphoria from my transitioned traits instead. That was a bummer.

I can not heal that dysphoria away. I tried but unfortunately my attempts only exacerbated it instead. Something in my subconscious mind backlashed it at me. I'm at a point where I think I'll just try to get everything reversed, that I reasonably can, cause I've had enough of dysphoria for this life. Enough is enough. I guess it's just my hairline that I can't do anything about, and I don't know how upset I can allow myself to be about that. I've got enough sorrow.

But my point is, I was living as though I was a transsexual man, like there was no doubt. And now I'm living as the cis woman I apparently always was but didn't know until this year. Stumbling around in the world as a woman for the first time ever at almost 30... It feels a little awkward, admittedly, but I really like it and it feels very comforting that I actually connect with and love my natal parts. It kind of, in some sense, feels a bit like I've stepped out of a fog. Like I'm not sure who I was before, but whoever it was it wasn't me. But when I think about it I know it was me. And I wasn't all that different at all. People who know me surely recognise me just fine.

But as the question only barely applies to me if I twist and turn it around a few times... If I could go back in time and actually have an active choice in what happened, would I then have taken such a pill if it had been an option?
- Considering how I was thinking about such things back then, I would have refused it, too proud to be a man. But my current self would then like to whack my past self hard in the head and tell her to stop being such a misogynistic, paranoid, stubborn, insufferable idiot and just take the damn pill. And force it down my own throat if I'd have to. Okay, maybe I have changed a bit ;)

Teen me would have wanted it. When I first discovered I was likely trans, I didn't want to transition or change my body. I wanted to just be rid of the dysphoria and then be fine with being a cis girl. If possible to travel that far back in time and give her that pill, I think that would be the best.

But now? Well, it's applicable to my medically induced dysphoria. Dysphoria is dysphoria, even my cisphoria. If there was a pill to get rid of that, I would take it. I'd still likely go for breast reconstruction and laser off my beard though, if not else so to feel more "normal" among the other cis, better looking (according to my own personal opinion), to possibly make dating easier (since I realised I'm a lesbian, my dating pool is more limited, I guess), and to not get <poo> from other people about it in general. But it would be nice if I could like... walk around without my breast forms with my chest flat under my fem clothes and just be like "some women do have very flat chests, so what" and feel fine about that.

I mean, I see it as that such a pill would make me feel okay or even fine with the way I look in its current entirety, but that I could still feel insecure or get upset by people being rude or mean to me because of those male traits on my otherwise female body. And like that wouldn't be fun in the long run either. But also if such a pill would make me super fine with my body as it is currently and make me not even want those procedures anymore, that would be completely fine too! Honestly it would be a relief. It doesn't really matter how I look, me feeling good with my looks is my only real goal. And I think it would actually be pretty cool if I could be confident and feel beautiful with my flat chest and facial hair, etc, as a woman. Like that would be pretty striking. But alas... one can dream.

But as for "guy self" that I kinda was playing out as a trans guy, where'd he go? He's still around, but not as a separate aspect of me. He's integrated as a part of the whole me. He's some of my masculine aspects. He's my mood when I feel like I look like a drag queen but but like a hot drag queen. He's the aggressor in me when I shoot zombies in world of warcraft. He's in the anger I can't contain when I lose my temper at something stupid. He's the reason I hate crying in front of other people. He's in my walk when I swag instead of swinging my hips, and he's in it when I do both at the same time and try to imitate how night elf females walk in world of warcraft, cause it just looks so cool.

He's still around, but he's part of my womanhood, as a sharper spice to it. It's important to me that I don't suppress that aspect of myself as I previously did with my femaleness. He is and always will be an important part of me, cause he protected me when I was too scared and not yet ready to embrace my womanhood. I need to honour both of them and give both space to exist within me, and they can absolutely co-exist as one whole person and as one, binary female gender.

I don't need to look like him to carry him with me. He had his time, and all of me is at peace with that. So he's still around but integrated and part of a more whole "me" now. I learned that my gender actually had nothing to do with who I am as a person. I used to be certain I must have had a male brain, but apparently it's just a predominantly masculine female brain. How do you tell the difference? Could you even, if dysphoria was the only difference?

(I'm just giving you my perspective according to my experiences, not trying to push my beliefs or anything.)
I started my journey to transition back in 2009, been on (and off) testosterone for 6 years in total, had top surgery in 2014. Non-op lower surgery. Attempted to detransition for 2 years during 2018-2020, only to realise I'm still a trans man after all, but now proudly a bio female man. Planning on going back on testosterone.

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Offline Linde

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #14 on: December 28, 2018, 09:46:20 pm »
I would not take such a pill, because it would not do me any good anyway.  I never had a lot of dysphoria, because I always had this semi female, free of hair and other male indicators, body for ever.
As long as I am able to work off the dysphoria causing things of me one at a time, I am pretty muh OK.
I was concerned about the size of my feet, and that I will never be able to walk on heels. But now that I found all kinds of pretty shoes that will fit me, and that i discovered that I can walk on up to 4" high heels very comfortably and for hours in a row, this dysphoria has vanished into this air!
My fingers were another source of dysphoria.  Now I had a professionally done manicure, and those claws don't actually look not all that bad!
Left as sources of discomfort are my hair and my speech pattern.  I know that my hair will grow about 1/2 " a month, and as long as I am patient enough, I will have nice long hair one day.  I am lucky that I have no hair loss or a receding hairline, just the length bothers me.  And I have to work on that feminizing of my speech pattern!

No pill in the world would take those tasks away from me, and I want to keep the challenge going, to keep me on track in becoming a woman, and reclaim my body!


Offline Allison S

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #15 on: December 29, 2018, 12:12:52 am »
I've always tried taking the easy route. If it's 100% guaranteed to rid me of dysphoria forever then yeah, I would take it. For me it's a matter of "if the shoe fits, wear it" as far as being trans. I just could never be a guy and I could never get myself to try. I've described myself as other gender before so if someone doesn't see me as a woman, than at least don't see me as a guy...

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Offline Chloe

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #16 on: December 29, 2018, 07:07:06 am »
Quote from: short answer
If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?

lol If insurance premiums, therapy/doctor visits prescription etc etc REQUIRED . . .
Definitely NOT!

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Offline Daisy Jane

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #17 on: December 29, 2018, 10:39:20 am »
My first instinct was to say yes, but then I remembered that the person I was before transitioning was a mask. I worked really hard to create the illusion that I was like the other boys. Letting go of that illusion helped me grow as a person.

Offline Linde

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #18 on: December 29, 2018, 11:49:42 am »
My first instinct was to say yes, but then I remembered that the person I was before transitioning was a mask. I worked really hard to create the illusion that I was like the other boys. Letting go of that illusion helped me grow as a person.
I say that I was an almost perfect cross dresser all those years, until I discovered who I am in reality!


Offline Devlyn

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Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
« Reply #19 on: December 29, 2018, 11:55:01 am »
I always said that I didn't have dysphoria, I just wanted a bit of feminization. Then someone pointed out that that is dysphoria in its purest sense. So no, I wouldn't take the pill.
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