Author Topic: Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?  (Read 8349 times)

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Online pamelatransuk

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Re: Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?
« Reply #80 on: March 08, 2020, 08:03:39 am »
Thank you Chrissy and Yes I agree.

Always nice to chat with you. Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Hugs

Pamela  xx

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?
« Reply #81 on: May 19, 2020, 07:03:37 pm »
I was wondering why trans-women are often portrayed with a straight man being attracted to her, then making a pass at her, then at some point, often soon, he has a big surprise finding out she is transgender.  You know, she is typically portrayed as pre-op and he gets upset, panicked, and embarrassed as he is attracted to her.  “She was obviously trying to deceive.” 

Really?  Maybe she was just trying to be her dignified self.   Disclosure makes sense at the right time in a relationship, but really, right away before a relationship has been made?  In fairness, in a dating type of relationship, disclosure timing might be trickier as compared to other relationships that we may be developing.

But why not depict transgender people simply as people who happen to be transgender?
There are many types of transgender people too, not just us MTFs or FTMs.

A greater understanding of transgender folk is needed by society, as well as more truly open minds.

Chrissy



Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  
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Offline sarahc

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Re: Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?
« Reply #82 on: May 19, 2020, 07:54:09 pm »

Plus why not depict transgender people simply as people who happen to be transgender?


Exactly...that was the most awesome thing about Laverne Cox's role in Orange Is the New Black. For the most part, she was just another inmate. And the backstory they did on her character was nuanced and didn't rely on cheap stereotypes to portray the character.

The reality is...most transgender people, especially those who are way past transition, are pretty boring!

I remember a long time ago there was a great cartoon on SFGate during the whole gay marriage hullabaloo back around 2008, and the cartoon depicted social conservatives going completely bonkers about SF legalizing gay marriage, with the second-to-last panel having some priest screaming something to effect, "Who are these crazy people in gay marriages?"

And the final panel was two unshaven, sleepy-eyed guys in their pajamas eating cereal in their breakfast nook looking like any other boring couple in the world.

The reality is the same in our community. Folks out there in the non-trans world: our lives are actually really normal (for the most part)!

Sarah
----
48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?
« Reply #83 on: May 31, 2020, 08:51:57 am »
Against Me!:  Transgender Dysphoria Blues

This song has a few “not so nice” words so perhaps I should not post a link to it.
You can find many videos of it on YouTube.  Here is a small lyrics excerpt though. 

I think this song came out about seven or eight years ago.
Maybe someone here knows more about its history and can comment.

“You want them to notice
The ragged ends of your summer dress
You want them to see you like they see any other girl
They just see a fa***t
They hold their breath not to catch the sick.”

Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  
.

Offline dianaliza

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Re: Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?
« Reply #84 on: June 04, 2020, 05:54:42 am »
for what's worth, lack of understanding

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?
« Reply #85 on: December 06, 2020, 09:40:04 pm »
Thank you all for sharing out your thoughts.

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  
.

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?
« Reply #86 on: December 20, 2020, 08:51:30 am »
Sometimes people can be so unkind with their actions and words.

Have a nice day everyone.  Show love to others, as I think many of you likely do regularly.

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  
.

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?
« Reply #87 on: February 13, 2021, 04:56:18 am »
Thank you all for sharing!

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  
.

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?
« Reply #88 on: February 28, 2021, 04:23:10 pm »
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  
.

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?
« Reply #89 on: May 20, 2022, 12:01:43 pm »
I think some people are simply set in their ways and do not want to change their beliefs.  Things are binary to them and things “out of the ordinary” can confuse them.  All well. 

Maybe some would change if people close opened up to them about their gender status but many would not change their thoughts in that situation. 

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  
.

Offline Nora Kay

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Re: Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?
« Reply #90 on: May 23, 2022, 04:46:58 pm »
Hi Paige
I don’t know why, but I never had a challenge transitioning. Early on in my transition, I had often heard from those who had transitioned that I needed to follow their roadmap for transition. I’ve never believed in following others. I did lots of research online about lots of topics and came to my own conclusions.
My therapist said, and I still believe, hormones don’t make you a woman. So I believed early on not to expect miracles from HRT. What I believed from therapist, is she said living full time as Nina, gaining experience is what would help me.
As each passing day, I learned to look at people in the eye, not look at the ground, and smile a lot. The more I did this, the happier I was when met with a smile. I never felt ashamed of who I was. Sure, I always felt people were judging me, but hey, take a walk through WalMart or grocery store...people are in sweatpants, no makeup, etc.
My therapist, as well as others said I needed to get my voice right. I went to half a dozen sessions with a voice therapist. I found the work hard, it felt fake, and I quit.
Year two of transition was my breakthrough. No longer did I see my former self in the mirror. I saw Nina. I reminded myself daily I was Nina...and that this is is the face and body I’ve been blessed with. I discounted any benefit at my age (45 years then) of facial or vocal surgery.
I joined Meetup.com to meet people in my city. Whether it was camping, hiking, euchre get togethers, movies....whatever...no one cared about my voice. No one criticized me. No one misgendered me. I felt like I was fitting in all the more.

Now 10 years later, I know no longer dress up to be “girly.” I dress how I want, not how others need to see me. I don’t pretend with my voice. I haven’t worn makeup since last year.
Just got back from Spain after a two week vacation. It was a big test for me as I’ve never flown as Nina. Whether at the airport,on the plane to Spain, the time in Spain...no one noticed. No one said anything. I got “ma’am” and “miss” everywhere.

So after 10 years, my conclusion is if you believe in yourself, surgeries are not necessary other than GCS if that’s important. When I transitioned 10 years ago, I never envisioned I would have had GCS, but as time went on, it became much more important to me.

Attitude, confidence, and not giving a <not allowed> what others think is why I’m thriving.

This is the best answer to this question. Quit worrying. Quit crying and just live your life. I know easier said than done. But I think if you just follow what Nina said. You will be better than fine.

But to answer the question as to why. It’s how you act. And their insecurities. If you shove it down everybody’s throats. Nobody is going to like you. Most people really don’t care. But when you act like you think everybody should care and accept you. You will be met with resistance. Just quit  caring. Just go about your business and interact with people like everything is as it’s supposed to be. Because it is. I still present male. I’m a c cup. It’s warm now. So no getting around my breasts. I act as if it’s normal. And everybody treats me the same. Maybe some talk about me after I’m gone. I don’t know. Or care.  I know people see my breasts. I mean you know when they are looking. And if the most I get is a look. Then why do I care if they accept me. I don’t need acceptance. I need respect.


Today's Thoughts by Nora Kay


You can roll the boulder up the hill only so many times before you realize that, no matter how hard you push and how hard you pray, that the boulder’s going to roll back down the hill again.

I am too old to worry about who likes me and who dislikes me. I have more important things to do. If you love me, 💕 I love you. 😘  If you support me, I support you. If you hate me, I don’t care. Life goes on with or without you. 😎

Give us courage to change what we can, serenity to accept what cannot be changed, and the wisdom to know the one from the other. 🙏

Offline IWish

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Re: Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?
« Reply #91 on: May 24, 2022, 10:30:57 pm »
Intolerance and inability to make an attempt to understand or just tolerate without prejudice.   When I told my parents who are in their 80s I was TG the response was you are not we will not acccept you. 
I asked them to read published papers about TG people and response we wont read anything of such sorts.
As a result Ive taken them out of my life.
A simple we dont understand but as long as your happy we are happy for you.
Now mind you these are parents who threatened to institutionalize me 2 times.....once at the age of 5 ....again at 16...for dressing and finding my wardrobe/makeup.
So that's what I have to work with.
Carrie
« Last Edit: May 25, 2022, 02:55:14 am by IWish »
IWish I was born a girl !

Offline bananaking

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Re: Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?
« Reply #92 on: June 06, 2022, 03:55:42 pm »
Many responses in this thread so someone else might have said it but usually people want to enforce what they think is right, so when you lead your life (in any manner) that differs from theirs in any way, they will let you know you're "stepping out of line". A friend of mine who's kinda nocturnal for the past few months has been getting all sorts of pokey comments from family because they're staying up late and getting up late, and they mean well, but at the core, they just want them to live like the rest of them. I think this has to do with evolution? Trying to keep the "group" to behave in what's deemed accepted by the group.

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