Author Topic: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?  (Read 4667 times)

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Offline Erin1.618

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Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« on: December 22, 2018, 01:27:20 pm »
Is anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
I'm curious if it can be done. I'd love feed back on a couple specifics.

-how long have you been on hrt and not transitioned

-has it helped your personal acceptance of being trans?

-is it easy to hide?

-have the urges to full transition become stronger.

About me. Currently presenting as a masculine Male aka liar. I Came out as gay/bi and only got support but I still dont feel right.
I cant relate to myself being a man in a relationship with a man. I constantly wish I was a women in more aspects of life then just dating but more so when I think about being in a relationship with a man. I work military contracts and get paid very well. My fears are and for good reason ( I've heard people talk about the subject of <transgender> with hate) that if I come out I will lose my job. I'm currently trying to build another business so I dont depend on them but that will take time. I am 30 and time isnt what I feel I have. The dysphoria is at an all time high ( came in waves throughout my life). I think it's time I at least see if hrt will make me feel normal and more accepting of my sexuality and the role I want in life/relationship. Which in my head i feel like a bi women but in a man's body which makes me feel out of place in a relationship. Anyway sorry for rambling but i needed to write these feelings somewhere. Back to my original point of the post. I want to know if being on hrt but not transitioning can be done, and how hard is it to juggle. P.s please dont try to diagnose me via this short post I'm working with a professional psychiatrist for that.

GordonG

Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2018, 01:45:08 pm »
Raises hand!
Me. I'm on HRT low dose and am not transitioning.  And I really don't want to. That was not my goal. I've always been more of a feminine guy.  I sometimes have thought that I should have been born female. Though I've never experienced gender dysphoria like some members here have.

I've always had a battle at keeping my sex drive in check and have failed miserably several times in life. Including while being married. My initial goal was to reduce that drive, so I started taking Spiro only. I liked what it did in that department, but didn't like some of the side effects. So I started researching adding a little E to the mix. I read about people who did likewise but not transitioning. The E helped with the side effects and I like being on it mentally. It is a whole different world than what I had the previous 50 years or so. I'm not expecting much breast growth as my mom had small breasts and as I'm older. But they have started. Buds are there. I'll deal with it for the effects that I do like. YMMV.

Offline AnneK

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2018, 01:47:18 pm »
I haven't started HRT yet (still waiting on endocrinologist), but I thought I'd try it without transitioning.  I understand others have.
I'm a 66 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

Started HRT April 17, 2019.

Offline Erin1.618

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2018, 02:11:13 pm »
GordonG I got a question!

Thanks for such a quick reply! I'm not sure how to use the quote button just yet but my do you have any links to the articles of the people that went on hrt but didn't transition?

Thank you!

Offline KathyLauren

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2018, 02:27:26 pm »
Hi, Erin!

Welcome to Susan's Place.

I probably don't qualify to answer your question, since I am transitioning.  I know there are other people who are able to not transition, so it can be done.  You'll have to try it to see if it works for you.

If the issue is an unaccepting employer, tackling that issue may be the thing to do. 

Dysphoria tends not to go away, so not transitioning means learning to be comfortable with it.  If you are not already seeing a therapist about this, I would highly recommend it.

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum to tell the members about yourself.  Here is some information that we like to share with new members:

Things that you should read


2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2019-10-18 Phone consultation for GRS; 2020-03-11 GRS!; 2020-09-30 New birth certificate




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Offline Kirsteneklund7

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #6 on: December 22, 2018, 06:02:42 pm »
Is anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
I'm curious if it can be done. I'd love feed back on a couple specifics.

-how long have you been on hrt and not transitioned

-has it helped your personal acceptance of being trans?

-is it easy to hide?

-have the urges to full transition become stronger.

About me. Currently presenting as a masculine Male aka liar. I Came out as gay/bi and only got support but I still dont feel right.
I cant relate to myself being a man in a relationship with a man. I constantly wish I was a women in more aspects of life then just dating but more so when I think about being in a relationship with a man. I work military contracts and get paid very well. My fears are and for good reason ( I've heard people talk about the subject of <transgender> with hate) that if I come out I will lose my job. I'm currently trying to build another business so I dont depend on them but that will take time. I am 30 and time isnt what I feel I have. The dysphoria is at an all time high ( came in waves throughout my life). I think it's time I at least see if hrt will make me feel normal and more accepting of my sexuality and the role I want in life/relationship. Which in my head i feel like a bi women but in a man's body which makes me feel out of place in a relationship. Anyway sorry for rambling but i needed to write these feelings somewhere. Back to my original point of the post. I want to know if being on hrt but not transitioning can be done, and how hard is it to juggle. P.s please dont try to diagnose me via this short post I'm working with a professional psychiatrist for that.
Hi Erin,
            I started HRT in 2015. I still havent transitioned. I run on full dose and my life is better as a result. I am 49 years old now.
 Work & family commitments stop me pushing the female envelope but Im not complaining.
 I have a b-cup and wear a bra day to day- this does get noticed.
 On the whole I present male at work and in public. At home I prefer womens clothes.
 I have a masculine face and figure although that is changing a bit.
 People have always considered me a masculine, gung-ho sort of guy but that is changing too.

 Please feel free to ask any questions. I feel like I could live this way indefinately but suspect dysphoria will increase down the track. I am prepared to transition later if necessary.

  Kind regards, Kirsten.

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Offline AnonyMs

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #7 on: December 22, 2018, 06:58:39 pm »
I've done it 10 years, the first half on low dose hrt. Hrt helps mentally, but in the longer term it's not enough. It has allowed me to delay the need to transition. I've seen someone on another forum who has not only been on hrt, but also had srs and ffs and still not socially transitioned.

Offline Allison S

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2018, 07:27:21 pm »
I started hrt at 27 and changes started happening pretty fast. My dosages went up every doctor visit then by 4-5 months I pushed for max dose estrogen. Changes have been pretty steady now that I'm almost 15 months.  I think even on a low dose, depending on your age, genetics and how your body will react to hrt, it may or may not be noticeable.

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Offline Joanne ONeal

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #9 on: December 22, 2018, 07:50:11 pm »
Erin,

I 've been married 45 and mt wife understands what it means to me to be Trans. I am 66 years old, 7 grandchildren and a extended family and friends that do not know. I just started Spiro and E patches and I look forward to the emotional changes, and excited about the physical changes that may be coming. I have kept this secret far too long. I am lucky to have survived the pain and the feeling of being "different" I am now comfortable with myself when I'm out as Joanne. However, I do not plan on transitioning at this time, but who know what the future will bring.Good luck!! Keep us posted.

Offline nadia1971

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2019, 08:23:22 pm »
This feels like the most likely path forward for me, as well.  I'm in my late forties and 25 years into a teaching career.  Years of hiding who I am and fearing exposure have come to an end as I poke my toes out of the closet door.  I can't imagine transitioning prior to retiring.  My district has generally done the right thing for our trans kids, but I don't necessarily trust our community to be accepting of a trans teacher.  Gradual HRT without surgery seems the best way to become who I truly am without risking burning the life I've built to the ground.  My therapist mentioned having other clients who go as far as to be fully feminine at home and wearing a binder and presenting male at work.  I've got two kids to still put through college, and in my state it's still fully legal to discriminate against people for their sexuality or gender expression, so it's going to be a few more years before that closet door opens. 

I've read a few interesting threads on HRT around this forum that have answered a lot of questions about what HRT without full transition is like.  Keep poking around.  There's a lot of good information, and I've only just begun to scratch the surface myself.

Offline BlueJaye

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #11 on: January 08, 2019, 08:18:27 pm »
I’m on HRT, and though I really do desire to transition, I am afraid the road will be very long and slow.

My wife was very supportive at first, but then it became apparent she really didn’t understand what my goals were. We had discussions at first about what HRT would do to my body, and she wasn’t really too worried about it. But just last week she started asking questions like, “How do you plan on hiding your boobs when they get bigger?”, “Aren’t you worried that men’s clothing won’t fit right anymore?”, and stuff like that.

This is when things got difficult. She was thinking I was simply going to have a feminine body, but continue living as a man and just hide it. I made it clear that I wasn’t doing this just create yet another thing in my life to hide and be ashamed of. I wanted to live as the woman I am, body and clothing included. Super not cool with her. After 9 months of discussing HRT prior to starting, she had entirely missed what I had been trying to tell her.

Neither of us wants the marriage to end, but she is firm that she does not want to see me dressed as a woman or living as a woman.

We are at a deadlock on the issue and I have a feeling that I may need to keep my HRT dosage low for at least a couple of years while we work through all of this. The good thing is that I am experiencing great relief from gender dysphoria even on the low doses of spiro and estradiol that I was started on. The bad news is the HRT doesn’t help with everything. I still have issues with genitals and other anatomical features and my voice. I still have to deal with those things every day. I also have the continual disappointment of knowing that full transition is out of reach at least for the short term.

Offline Kirsteneklund7

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #12 on: January 08, 2019, 09:19:03 pm »
Hi BlueJaye,
                     Your life is similar to mine. Im on full dose HRT - have b-cup breasts and I present as a man everday for work.
 I found in the first 12 months of HRT my wife had trouble coming to grips with my feminising body. Now she is used to my appearance.
 I believe going steady and talking bit by bit helps.
 I cant deny that allowing my femininity to exist has produced a negative gut reaction in my wife.I dont blame her for that- it is simply the way she is.
 The HRT is a potent dysphoria treatment for me - even putting up with the male equipment is possible now where before it wasnt.
 I know you find life without HRT much tougher.
 Wishing you the best with it all,
 Kirsten.

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Offline BlueJaye

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #13 on: January 08, 2019, 10:44:37 pm »
Hi BlueJaye,
                     Your life is similar to mine. Im on full dose HRT - have b-cup breasts and I present as a man everday for work.
 I found in the first 12 months of HRT my wife had trouble coming to grips with my feminising body. Now she is used to my appearance.
 I believe going steady and talking bit by bit helps.
 I cant deny that allowing my femininity to exist has produced a negative gut reaction in my wife.I dont blame her for that- it is simply the way she is.
 The HRT is a potent dysphoria treatment for me - even putting up with the male equipment is possible now where before it wasnt.
 I know you find life without HRT much tougher.
 Wishing you the best with it all,
 Kirsten.

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I feel like I am hijacking the thread, but I do want to ask you about concealing your breasts when presenting as male. I went back on HRT on December 15th and already have noticed some growth. I have always had gynocomastia since puberty and now I’m getting serious looking boobs. I’m certainly an A cup at least.

While I am happy and a bit excited to see that my body reacts so positively to estrogen, the reality that I will probably need to present as male for quite a while is kind of intimidating. I think it’s going to get difficult quickly.

What are some tips you would offer for not drawing attention, especially with the breasts?

Offline Kirsteneklund7

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #14 on: January 08, 2019, 11:48:48 pm »
Not drawing attention - try different sports bras. I have a Nike one that holds things fairly flat. Also a mens compression vest can be good for running & hiding breasts. I find a compression vest too hot in the tropics where I live.
 B- cups can be hidden - any bigger is difficult.
 At work these days I wear a fairly standard 40 B t-shirt bra under my workshirt.

 People know I have breasts and now I feel comfortable just telling it like it is.

 My humble advice is you will get comfortable having breasts and eventually you wont care so much if they show a bit. Keeping others comfortable is the trick I think.
         Kirsten.

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Offline Claire

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Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #15 on: January 28, 2019, 08:58:06 am »
I’m friends with a few trans men and they used binders until they had top surgery. They seemed to work well for them. I know they even went to the gym.


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Claire.

Offline Karen

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #16 on: January 29, 2019, 05:39:35 pm »
Hi Erin,
            I started HRT in 2015. I still havent transitioned. I run on full dose and my life is better as a result. I am 49 years old now.
 Work & family commitments stop me pushing the female envelope but Im not complaining.
 I have a b-cup and wear a bra day to day- this does get noticed.
 On the whole I present male at work and in public. At home I prefer womens clothes.
 I have a masculine face and figure although that is changing a bit.
 People have always considered me a masculine, gung-ho sort of guy but that is changing too.

 Please feel free to ask any questions. I feel like I could live this way indefinately but suspect dysphoria will increase down the track. I am prepared to transition later if necessary.

  Kind regards, Kirsten.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

This is really helpful to me!

Tell me about the emotional impacts of her?   

I am on cyrproterone alone and am thinking of adding estrogen, but not come out. 

Thanks

Karen
Karen

* felt different like I did not fit, with strong feminine feelings and gender questions my entire life
* Sept 2016 - January 2017 real began to seriously question and research gender
* August 2017 friend explains transgender and gender vs sexual orientation, and immediately felt shock and begin to believe I maybe transgender
* March 2018 after 3 therapists, accepts I am transgender and am transitioning
* July 18, 2018 began HRT
* Feb 4, 2019 began Estrogen

Offline Kirsteneklund7

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #17 on: February 05, 2019, 05:56:26 am »
This is really helpful to me!

Tell me about the emotional impacts of her?   

I am on cyrproterone alone and am thinking of adding estrogen, but not come out. 

Thanks

Karen
Sorry about my slow reply Karen.

 I personally found cyproterone alone brought peace and reduced dysphoria.When I added estrogen it added some light euphoria along with smiling more, more chatty and sociable in a nutshell uplifting!.

 Can you clarify the "emotional aspects of her" do you mean the feminine personality ?

 I did have various emotional " adventures "  in the first 12 months of HRT. I would gladly pass on what that was like.

 Kind regards, Kirsten.


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Offline Karen

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #18 on: February 05, 2019, 07:29:17 pm »
Thanks. 

I meant wanting to understand and experience the emotional aspects of estrogen / hrt.   

I started estrogen yesterday...new life begins. 

Karen
Karen

* felt different like I did not fit, with strong feminine feelings and gender questions my entire life
* Sept 2016 - January 2017 real began to seriously question and research gender
* August 2017 friend explains transgender and gender vs sexual orientation, and immediately felt shock and begin to believe I maybe transgender
* March 2018 after 3 therapists, accepts I am transgender and am transitioning
* July 18, 2018 began HRT
* Feb 4, 2019 began Estrogen

Offline AJ

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Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
« Reply #19 on: February 06, 2019, 09:05:34 am »
I am 65 and not transitioning fully.
Just growing my hair a few inches and keeping a nicely trimmed beard.
My daughter-in-law is a hairdresser and she has been very helpful.
I've been on HRT for 14 months and had my orchie three weeks ago to get away from spiro.
My breasts are nice (Measure 38C) but I would like them to be just a little bigger.
I expect some more fat distribution will happen now after the orchie but I haven’t had much of that in the 14 months.
I have always been different and now I am a little bit more different with a rounder face and having lost 42 pounds.
At 5' 10" my ideal weight should be 157 and I am at 170 so I plan on losing 10-13 more pounds.
Under my clothes I am looking very female but that is for my wife and I only to see.
I am out to my family and that has gone well, and my wife and I seem to be closer than ever after 31 years of marriage.
I know that I am one of the lucky ones…
AJ

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