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Is honesty the best policy?

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Anne T:
Hi all,
I hope this is the right place for my question. I'm very new here. My spouse recently told me that he's transitioning. It's all very new. I go to a Pentecostal conservative church where I teach a bible study. Because I've been place into a leadership position which brings a certain amount of trust in me on my pastors part. Do I need to tell them about this life event? We would really like to keep this within the bounds of our marriage. And yes, there are two affirming churches near by yet I have roots in this church.

Anne T

Chloe:
         Anne I regularly attend a very "casual/accepting" church nearby that advertises "no purfect people allowed" (yea that's certainly me!) and while I present as very "femme" still dress as nominally "male". You sound as if both of you are "older" with spousy on HRT only 4 months is dress/clothing the only way she can currently express/let out an identity yet bottled up inside? Having been married w/kids and on HRT for years am not a big fan "confessions" would hate to see one (or both) lose God's Good Grace within your community church.

      Well, am still waiting for the topic of "transgender" to arise in mine, perhaps one day I'll play an instrumental part, but in meantime feel that just sharing a "gender variant persona" would be a good start toward the education of the otherwise unwashed & intolerant masses in general?

(ps: Head minister knows of my "gender issues" due to a rather tumultuous divorce 8 years ago (we're once again together btw) if you feel discussion/support is needed I would confine any disclosures only to people you know and trust! I also belong to a small Weds night 'mens only group' although (lol) don't feel many issues discussed really apply to me! ;) )

Cheers find small steps to be best!

Jaime320:
No need to disclose. Unless you both feel led to. Outing your SO without consent would be a bad move. Your Situation doesn’t break any safe sanctuary policy. Therefore keep between yourselves.

KathyLauren:
Definitely do not tell the church people about your spouse unless he asks you to.  There is no reason that he needs to tell them before he is ready.

Honesty means no lies (except when necessary for safety); it doesn't mean full disclosure. 

Anne T:

--- Quote from: Kiera on December 29, 2018, 06:33:15 am ---         Anne I regularly attend a very "casual/accepting" church nearby that advertises "no purfect people allowed" (yea that's certainly me!) and while I present as very "femme" still dress as nominally "male". You sound as if both of you are "older" with spousy on HRT only 4 months is dress/clothing the only way she can currently express/let out an identity yet bottled up inside? Having been married w/kids and on HRT for years am not a big fan "confessions" would hate to see one (or both) lose God's Good Grace within your community church

--- End quote ---

Kiera,
   You are correct that we are older and spouse started HRT 4 mos ago. I think I need to explain what I meant by bottled up inside. For our entire marriage he had this huge side of himself that was surpressed. The pain, frustration, sorrow and probably shame kept deep below the surface every day for years. And the freedom to express the feminine side and to talk about it with me has done wonders for my spouse. I can see the difference.

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