Community Conversation > Transgender talk

The Journey of Katie Ellen

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Katie Ellen:
So I've been around this site for a little over a year now, but only a very few of you will know me. 2018 was a very hard year for my wife and I. She went through breast cancer treatment and is just starting to get back to normal. I went through skin cancer and kidney stone surgery. The good news for me was I started HRT (with my wife's approval).

I thought that the start of a new year would be a good time for me to finally start tracking my progress.

Like a lot of you, I've known my whole life that for some reason I wanted to be a girl. I won't go into depth now, but I kept it hidden and actually had a pretty successful male life. In December of 2017 I finally did something about it and contacted a gender therapist. I really just wanted to hear someone else's opinion on whether or not I was possibly trans. She pretty much knew from day one that I was, although she didn't really say it until about the 3rd session. She has helped me immensely and has also helped me find the proper medical help to ease my anxiety and dysphoria.

I started a very low dose of Estradiol and Finasteride in the middle of May (2018). About 6 weeks later my doctor doubled my dosages and I stayed on that for about 3 months. It was raised again in December.

I haven't really noticed a lot of physical changes so far. I just turned 69 at Christmas, so I had kind of accepted the fact that I had just waited too long to get started. I have seen a reduction in body hair and slowly have developed breast buds which pretty much hurt daily.

I did take pictures before I started HRT and have taken some periodically since. I've never really seen anything remotely female in any of them. I just "looked like a guy"! It has been about 3 months since I've taken any though.

So today I took some just for the record. I took some with no top just to compare. I was shocked to see how much my chest has changed. Although I definitely don't fill an A cup bra yet, I saw small female breasts! There's no way I can go without a shirt now. Although I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable presenting female in public, I guess you never know!

So I'm officially starting this log today. I'm sure that there will be ups and downs, but hopefully when I may need help or advice those of you with more experience will help me through. I look forward to this journey and any new friendships I may make along the way.

Northern Star Girl:
@Katie Ellen
Dear Katie:
I think it is wonderful that you started your own personal thread.  It will not only allow you to track your progress but your personal thread will be in effect your personal transition journal.   Just writing details out like you have is not only a good recap for your readers and followers but it also can be good personal therapy for you as well. 

As you might already be aware, I have my personal transition thread here on the Forums but I also keep a personal pen & paper journal at home complete with colorful doodling and appropriate snapshot photos.  I have kept a personal journal since I was in Junior High School... we called them "Diaries" back then.
I find that when I have difficult issues that I am working through that writing down my thoughts helps me to ponder and to formulate positive solutions.    When things are going well, I certainly write about those things as well.

As your thread develops more regular readers and followers you can expect joyful and congratulatory responses to your good news and when your news is not so good, you will find your readers and followers offering their ears to listen and their shoulders to lean on.

On cold and rainy nights when I am staying in, I often find myself in my comfy chair in front of my fireplace thumbing through and reviewing my journals, that is when I can gain insights as to what I need to do to overcome future difficulties and to see how to avoid future problems....  I can spend hours just reminiscing about my past life events.

I have carefully read and digested your very first posting here on your new thread and am very happy to see that you have overcome many obstacles with your and your wife's health situations.... plus you have big advantage that many other transitions continue to seek....  the approval and acceptance from your wife.  Count yourself very fortunate in that regard.

I will be eagerly following your new thread, please, if you will, continue to keep it updated as you feel comfortable doing.   
Here on the forums you will certainly come across many like-minded members here, some can become very good friends as you share your thoughts with one-another on the various threads around the Forums but also in Personal Message exchanges.

Thank you for posting your new personal thread....
...you will find it quite beneficial to you and perhaps it will provide help and encouragement to others that read it.

HUGS and well wishes,
Danielle

JulieA:
Great post,I am also older, and have dealt with the hormone issue for over 40 years.  I found a great doctor when I was in my late 20's, and after much testing, was even offered a sex change option---that did not feel right to me, but my hormone levels were so unusual, and I started on that regiment, and don't regret a day of it.  My high and low swings settled down, and I look more androgious. I had my stylist make my hair so that it passes either way, and that really helped.  My hormones finally leveled out when I was in my 60's and I only had to use the hormones if needed for a period of time (usually related with high-stress in my life.
I am about to resume my hormone regimen to once-again balance myself out.

Hormones can really confuse your emotions, so I am delighted you have such a great Dr.
My only suggestion from your  picture is to talk and work with your stylist for a more male/female balanced style---I have been called a lady and a man, and I don't comment, I just enjoy that my female side gets and outing.  Almost all of my styles are women's clothing, and no one has ever commented ( I do use restraint is I want to use in "neutral territory."

I hope you keep going and just know that there are lots of fellow people out there to help!
Have a Terrific New Year and enjoy having the feminine side around.
Hugs
AJ

BlueJaye:
You may never feel comfortable presenting as female in public, but you look passable in your avatar pic. In fact you look very much like an older version of my cis female cousin (she's about 50).

pamelatransuk:
Hello again Katie

As you know we have had a few posts between us previously including when we both joined Susans' a year ago and I recall your and your wife's health problems which thankfully are now almost resolved.

It is wonderful to read of your helpful gender therapist and your HRT progress since you started in May. I am glad you felt the breast buds which have now developed into small boobs.

You may remember that I also sought therapy in 2017 aged 62 followed by HRT which started February 8th 2018 and you may wish to read my story which is on the HRT Board and copied below and which I shall update mid-January.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,241374.0.html

We are permitted to post our Blood Test Results of E&T and you may post yours after 3&6 months but only if you wish to of course.

I wish you and your wife good health and I hope and expect to witness more of your wonderful subsequent progress on HRT.

Hugs

Pamela

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