Author Topic: What's your journey with disordered eating and/or fitness culture?  (Read 734 times)

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Offline Holden

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I thought I'd just open a discussion about disordered eating to ask about your experiences, since I haven't seen many posts about it.

Although I've never had severe enough problems to be diagnosed with an eating disorder, I most definitely have had disordered eating for a long time. For awhile I didn't know I was doing it, but since starting testosterone I've been much more aware of it, and felt a lot more pressure to "be fit" and "look good" whatever the hell that means.

For me, it's been interesting to be psychologically in between typically female and male disordered eating patterns. There's no doubt that women are completely surrounded and oppressed about so much body and eating <poo>, but male bodybuilding culture can be so toxic, and puts so much pressure on male bodies. Sometimes I feel in between these two things, and find myself triggered by passing comments by friends or people around me.

Luckily I've learned a lot of skills to process these feelings and take healthful decisions even if I'm feeling triggered, but I find that if I'm feeling anxious I obsess over workouts or fitness research, which puts me in a really bad place.

What are your experiences with disordered eating or toxic fitness culture?

Offline Allison S

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Re: What's your journey with disordered eating and/or fitness culture?
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2019, 03:20:05 pm »
I weighed 137 lbs which on my 5'7 (what I consider) large frame, was sickly. Controlling what and how much I eat was an obsession that,consumed me pretty much. I didn't like how I looked at all though

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Offline Paul Muad-Dib

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Re: What's your journey with disordered eating and/or fitness culture?
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2019, 10:41:48 pm »
I'm not really bothered by what other people think about my fitness or looks, but I have always been bothered by what I think of them.

That caused some issue in the past with regards how I felt about the amount of fat under my skin. Female bodies naturally have more under the skin and this always made me feel "fat" even though I wasn't. Nothing ever shifted it properly, even fasting for days on end.... the only thing that ever fixed that was HRT. For some years I was vindictive toward my body, and the frustration with it lead to some harsh/radical strategies. Things other people would always be surprised/horrified to hear about but that were for me nothing unusual, all the more mundane to me for the fact they never truly worked to give me the result I wanted.

I'm still unconventional regards diet. I've been on one for the past few weeks designed to drop cholesterol level rapidly, which seems to have worked well. Other people cringe at the idea of eating nothing but ground oats/rye/wheat for weeks but I haven't found it difficult. I have cut down the amount of fasting I used to do but I still try to intermittently fast through the day and eat in the evening, even if I'm not dieting. It's taken a few decades to figure out exactly what's good for me and what isn't and there's still resistance to it from some people who think whatever's good for them automatically works for me too, which is nearly always never the case.

I'm not v. tall or large so I know I don't need that much food compared to some of these people. If you took the standardized daily intake recommendations on the backs of food packets, I need about 750-800 calories daily to sustain my weight which is less than half the daily rec intake. Never been able to take most people's advice on that because they usually work by the idea someone like me needs 2000 daily, and that the more you eat the more you burn (not the case for me). If I went by those figures I'd look like the Hindenburg by the end of the week.

 


Offline Kirsteneklund7

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Re: What's your journey with disordered eating and/or fitness culture?
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2019, 06:05:37 am »
I'm not really bothered by what other people think about my fitness or looks, but I have always been bothered by what I think of them.

That caused some issue in the past with regards how I felt about the amount of fat under my skin. Female bodies naturally have more under the skin and this always made me feel "fat" even though I wasn't. Nothing ever shifted it properly, even fasting for days on end.... the only thing that ever fixed that was HRT. For some years I was vindictive toward my body, and the frustration with it lead to some harsh/radical strategies. Things other people would always be surprised/horrified to hear about but that were for me nothing unusual, all the more mundane to me for the fact they never truly worked to give me the result I wanted.

I'm still unconventional regards diet. I've been on one for the past few weeks designed to drop cholesterol level rapidly, which seems to have worked well. Other people cringe at the idea of eating nothing but ground oats/rye/wheat for weeks but I haven't found it difficult. I have cut down the amount of fasting I used to do but I still try to intermittently fast through the day and eat in the evening, even if I'm not dieting. It's taken a few decades to figure out exactly what's good for me and what isn't and there's still resistance to it from some people who think whatever's good for them automatically works for me too, which is nearly always never the case.

I'm not v. tall or large so I know I don't need that much food compared to some of these people. If you took the standardized daily intake recommendations on the backs of food packets, I need about 750-800 calories daily to sustain my weight which is less than half the daily rec intake. Never been able to take most people's advice on that because they usually work by the idea someone like me needs 2000 daily, and that the more you eat the more you burn (not the case for me). If I went by those figures I'd look like the Hindenburg by the end of the week.
I want to hear your angle on dietary fats and oils Paul. I tend to be a believer in a substantial intake of fats and oils to satiate hunger, maintain skin and hair and balance cholesterol, stave off arthritis and other joint issues

 I repeat much of my diet preferences are based on belief, but I am a lover of extra virgin olive oil and oily fish and avacado.I love natural coconut foods as well.

 Please pass on your take on fats and oils and diet.

 Kirsten.

 

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« Last Edit: September 13, 2019, 01:25:30 pm by Kirsteneklund7 »
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Offline zirconia

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Re: What's your journey with disordered eating and/or fitness culture?
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2019, 06:12:54 am »
Hi Holden

When given the choice my eating is usually very disorderly. I prefer to eat only when I'm hungry, and fast if I'm not—unless I'm under a lot of stress. But even that is pretty self-regulatory, since food becomes less attractive as my weight increases. At some point I pretty much just stop until it's back down and I feel hungry again.

Anyway, like Paul, I don't need the recommended calorie intake, and see no reason to force myself to eat more... Nutritionists would probably have a fit.

Offline Paul Muad-Dib

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Re: What's your journey with disordered eating and/or fitness culture?
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2019, 07:05:10 pm »
I want to hear your angle on dietary fats and oils Paul. I tend to be a believer in a substantial intake of fats and oils to satiate hunger, maintain skin and hair and balance cholesterol, stave off arthritis and other joint issues

 I repeat much of my diet preferences are based on belief, but I am a lover of extra virgin olive oil and oily fish and avacado.I love natural coconut foods as well.

 Please pass on your take on fats and oils and diet.

 Kirsten.

 

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I eat a lot of oily fish, use the best olive oil I can find to cook with but tend to pay a bit more for lean red meat rather than buy the cheap meat with the higher sat-fat content, quality over quantity imo. I usually buy coconuts when they're around, bash em in and scoop out the meat, eat some for a snack during the day and freeze the rest for cooking with or eating for lunch. On a low(ish) carb diet, coconut's good for you. If you do eat a lot of foods high in oils, eating some oats and oatbran afterwards soaks up the excess cholesterol.

I experimented a while back with drinking small amounts of super pure/tasteless olive oil (a tablespoon or two) in place of lunch and found that the body registers the calories but gets no brain stimulus from the lack of taste, and sets its "weight maintenance point" lower than if you eat foods with a strong taste, leading to weight loss. This also works with pure sugar in water apparently, but being that I prefer low carb, oil worked better for me in forcing the body to stay satiated and feel less addicted to junk foods and sugar. I don't drink the oil any more but it was in part to corroborate the research of Seth Roberts who found that the taste/smell of familiar food plays a major role in reinforcing addiction to junk foods and weight gain because it seems to communicate to the brain to raise its satiation and latent weight threshold. Really interesting stuff. Although the body does acclimate to the 'trick' in time.

I definitely believe good oils in the diet are healthy, much healthier than sugar. Low carb diets that include oils always kept my brain sharper, and my skin in better condition. I might have slightly oily skin as is which might be why I have a tendency for fish in the diet, but it's also the reason I have no wrinkles at 40, probably...

Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: What's your journey with disordered eating and/or fitness culture?
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2019, 09:45:27 pm »
My weight is considered normal for my height, and I stay relatively active. What annoys me is those that insist I switch to a vegan diet. Fortunately, there are relatively few in my area that do that, but it does get on my nerves when they do.
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Offline big kim

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Re: What's your journey with disordered eating and/or fitness culture?
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2019, 09:54:36 am »
As a teenager I skipped meals a lot or made myself sick straight after. Just before I sought help for my gender dysphoria I wouldn't eat a thing at weekends. My weight dropped to 150 pounds I was 6'3".Iwas also using speed and coke which took the edge off my apetite. Never done a bit of exercise since school.
I started to get an eating problem when I lived in London. I was working 12 hour shifts driving a bus then coming home to care for Nick my flatmate's mother who was in a whhelchair. His boyfriend had lost them their home back in Blackpool so they moved in with us.It started when I saw some leather pants and found I couldn't get into them so for a month I ate nothing but a baked potato a day. I lost weight but felt like <poo> and started cutting again for the first time in nearly 30 years.
I eat to much now!

Offline Kirsteneklund7

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Re: What's your journey with disordered eating and/or fitness culture?
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2019, 07:25:14 am »
I eat a lot of oily fish, use the best olive oil I can find to cook with but tend to pay a bit more for lean red meat rather than buy the cheap meat with the higher sat-fat content, quality over quantity imo. I usually buy coconuts when they're around, bash em in and scoop out the meat, eat some for a snack during the day and freeze the rest for cooking with or eating for lunch. On a low(ish) carb diet, coconut's good for you. If you do eat a lot of foods high in oils, eating some oats and oatbran afterwards soaks up the excess cholesterol.

I experimented a while back with drinking small amounts of super pure/tasteless olive oil (a tablespoon or two) in place of lunch and found that the body registers the calories but gets no brain stimulus from the lack of taste, and sets its "weight maintenance point" lower than if you eat foods with a strong taste, leading to weight loss. This also works with pure sugar in water apparently, but being that I prefer low carb, oil worked better for me in forcing the body to stay satiated and feel less addicted to junk foods and sugar. I don't drink the oil any more but it was in part to corroborate the research of Seth Roberts who found that the taste/smell of familiar food plays a major role in reinforcing addiction to junk foods and weight gain because it seems to communicate to the brain to raise its satiation and latent weight threshold. Really interesting stuff. Although the body does acclimate to the 'trick' in time.

I definitely believe good oils in the diet are healthy, much healthier than sugar. Low carb diets that include oils always kept my brain sharper, and my skin in better condition. I might have slightly oily skin as is which might be why I have a tendency for fish in the diet, but it's also the reason I have no wrinkles at 40, probably...
Good stuff. That is how I tend to see it as well. Good point about oats. I like raw rolled oats made into porridge or museli. On that note, might have some for breakfast.

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Offline Erika_

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Re: What's your journey with disordered eating and/or fitness culture?
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2019, 01:54:12 pm »
I starved myself to stop my male puberty, I don't know how to get out of that mindset.

Offline Maid Marion

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Re: What's your journey with disordered eating and/or fitness culture?
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2019, 05:07:05 pm »
Yes, I weigh myself once or twice a day so my weight has been at 108 +/2 lbs for years.  I've decided to move it up to a nominal 110 lbs.

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