Author Topic: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal  (Read 1053 times)

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Offline HappyMoni

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #20 on: March 03, 2019, 07:32:40 am »
The thing is - I have cried watching sob-story movies since forever. So maybe my brain doesn't need much more changing.  :P

Sarah

Oh Sarah, you have been emotional, yes, but you should aspire for basket case status like the rest of us. LOL
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)
"Moni" is pronounced like "Bonnie"

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]

Offline sarahc

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #21 on: March 03, 2019, 10:56:50 am »
Oh Sarah, you have been emotional, yes, but you should aspire for basket case status like the rest of us. LOL

haha! yes, indeed.

BTW, I missed before when you previously asked if I was from Baltimore - the answer is: yes, I am (like you, I presume, given the names of some of your practitioners, whom I recognize).

----
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244009.0.html)
Hope to go full-time: July / August 2019
FFS / SRS: 2020

Offline bonkatie

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #22 on: March 03, 2019, 11:12:07 am »
So regarding emotions.  About a month ago I had a full on crying fit the day before turning fifty.  While very emotional, it was the first time I’ve balled in twenty plus years.  It felt so releasing and oddly wonderful.  That started about a two week emotional roller coaster where I would  just start tearing up or balling about something.  However it has since subsided.  My therapist thinks it was due to my estrogen pellets wearing off.  I got new pellets inserted and it hasn’t really happened since.  I would think the opposite would be true, ie estrogen causing the crying but she thinks it might have been low estrogen instead.  Is that possible?

Kate



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Offline HappyMoni

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #23 on: March 03, 2019, 12:26:54 pm »
haha! yes, indeed.

BTW, I missed before when you previously asked if I was from Baltimore - the answer is: yes, I am (like you, I presume, given the names of some of your practitioners, whom I recognize).


Sarah, I think there are a fair number of us on here from the area. I know of at least two others on Susan's alone. I have become good friends with one.

So regarding emotions.  About a month ago I had a full on crying fit the day before turning fifty.  While very emotional, it was the first time I’ve balled in twenty plus years.  It felt so releasing and oddly wonderful.  That started about a two week emotional roller coaster where I would  just start tearing up or balling about something.  However it has since subsided.  My therapist thinks it was due to my estrogen pellets wearing off.  I got new pellets inserted and it hasn’t really happened since.  I would think the opposite would be true, ie estrogen causing the crying but she thinks it might have been low estrogen instead.  Is that possible?

Kate



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Sarah, hope I am not hijacking your thread here. I think there is a general trend for stronger emotions. There was one time where I thought they had abandoned me but then they came back and have stayed. Levels play a part. When I would go on and off HRT for surgeries, it was a wild ride. I think I have learned to control my new normal better. lol Well, I have some control now, anyway. ::)
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)
"Moni" is pronounced like "Bonnie"

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]

Offline Linde

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #24 on: March 03, 2019, 04:04:43 pm »
I did some crying today, after I texted for quite a bit with my ex.  It is about 16 years now that we seperated, and i still love her like crazy.  She will always be the love of my life!
Emotions come floating to the top now that were suppressed by the tough guy I tried to play.  It feels good to let the out!
Feb 2019, bi-lateral orchiectomy
June 10, 2019 Not enough Y chr detected to be male






Offline sarahc

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #25 on: March 14, 2019, 04:10:49 pm »
TWO MONTH UPDATE!

Another undramatic yet productive month hormone wise. Let's start with the stats:

Start of HRT Jan 16 2019: Hgt: 71"; Wgt: 178lbs; B: 41"; UB: 37.5"; W: 34"; H: 39.5"
Feb 14 2019: Hgt 71"; Wgt: 170 lbs (-8lbs); B: 40.5" (-0.5"); UB 37" (-0.5"); W: 33" (-1.0"); H: 38" (-1.5"); Thighs: 21"; Biceps: 11.5"
Mar 14 2019: Hgt 71"; Wgt: 164lbs (-6lbs); B: 40" (-0.5"); UB 36"/37" (-1.0"); W: 32" (-1.0"); H: 37.5" (-0.5"); Thighs: 21" (0"); Biceps: 12.0" (+0.5")

PHYSICAL EFFECTS:
* Diet: Met my target weight goal for the month...diet continuing to shrink measurements generally. Probably will target losing another 10 pounds down to 150-155 lbs over the next two months and then reevaluate with my doctor how low she's willing to let me go. Very happy that I'm continuing to lose underbust measurements. I really want continue to lose the chest girth, hence the desire to continue to lose more weight. Unfortunately, as mentioned below, I'm continuing to lose fat in the hips.
* Breasts: Gained a bit in the bust-to-underbust difference, and it definitely looks and feels that way. The breasts are now clearly filling a 36B bra. Because my breasts are wide-set, they still could pass as very large pecs, but I don't know how long that's going to last. In addition, the areolas look slightly larger and seem a little large for a male (hence the issue with passing as pecs in the near-future). Continued off-and-on soreness and the breasts are definitely sore when poked. I can still play tennis without a bra for now although recently I have it issues with nipple rubbing on the fabric. However, when running, I am wearing a sports bra underneath. One note: I had been mismeasuring my underbust and have switched methods to make it closer to the bottom of the bust. So under the new method, I'm now 37", but the underbust did really lose an inch. The 36" bands are fitting much more comfortably now, and that's why I know the rib cage is getting smaller. Overall: very happy with breast progress after two months.
* Hips / butt: Still losing width here because of the diet...wish it would stop. Hormones don't seem to be helping much here yet.
* Face: It's way too early to evaluate changes to my face, but it's worth noting that because of my weight loss and hair growth, a few people who not seen me in a few months have not recognized me when seeing me. It's definitely due to the weight loss for now, but I'm trying to keep track of changes via periodic photos.
* Libido: Still very low, but I get the desire to masturbate a couple days per week..
* Athletic endurance: I recovered from my cold, but I haven't regained the endurance I had before starting hormones. I definitely get tired more easily from intensive exercise. I still want to give it another month illness-free and back to my regular exercise regimen before concluding that I've definitely gotten weaker, but signs are I have.
* Side effects: Both the peeing and temperature regulation side effects I had seem to have subsided. However, in the past month, I have had a couple of instances where I felt faint and a little woozy when I stood up too fast. Could be low blood pressure, as I am on blood pressure medication, and that plus the hormones may have reduced my blood pressure too much. In January, my doctor did say that it was possible she would take me of my blood pressure medication at some point, particularly if I kept losing weight (which I have).

EMOTIONAL EFFECTS:
* Still no noticeable emotional effects.

Overall, a good month. Definitely feel like the hormones are working. Also, I am continuing to make the usual progress on my diet.

No change in prescription levels...the three-month update will post after my doctor's appointment next month where we'll be reviewing my labs and re-evaluate prescription levels.

Sarah
----
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244009.0.html)
Hope to go full-time: July / August 2019
FFS / SRS: 2020

Offline AnneK

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #26 on: March 14, 2019, 04:20:06 pm »
Quote
The breasts are now clearly filling a 36B bra.

Nice to see such a change in just 2 months.  I'm hoping for similar when I get started on HRT.
I'm a 65 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

Started HRT April 17, 2019.

Offline sarahc

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #27 on: March 14, 2019, 04:34:16 pm »
Nice to see such a change in just 2 months.  I'm hoping for similar when I get started on HRT.

I had decent sized man boobs at the beginning of this, but the first two months have been good. I have good genetics on both sides of my family when it comes to breasts, so even though I'm an older transitioner, I'm optimistic I can get decent results.
----
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244009.0.html)
Hope to go full-time: July / August 2019
FFS / SRS: 2020

Offline mm

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #28 on: March 14, 2019, 06:59:48 pm »
sarahc, you will probably need a sports bra for tennis or any activity that involves running or jumping, your nipples will feel better when your are rubbing on your shirt/top and you will be feeling them bounce around more all the time without a bra on.  Just part of becoming a woman.

Offline AnneK

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #29 on: March 14, 2019, 09:40:07 pm »
Quote
I had decent sized man boobs at the beginning of this

As do I.  I nicely fill a 38A.
I'm a 65 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

Started HRT April 17, 2019.

Offline sarahc

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #30 on: March 14, 2019, 09:50:28 pm »
sarahc, you will probably need a sports bra for tennis or any activity that involves running or jumping, your nipples will feel better when your are rubbing on your shirt/top and you will be feeling them bounce around more all the time without a bra on.  Just part of becoming a woman.

Yes - one issue I have however is that I'm still presenting male until later in the summer, and as we head into warmer weather, I'm a little bit paranoid about sweat patterns from the sports bra. While I'm running, I'm planning to wear to two shirts over my sports bra, and I feel good that will work. But I'm not 100% confident about hiding the sports bra playing tennis. I may have to stop playing tennis in a couple of months (which is a bummer, because once I shut it down, I'm probably not going to play until after SRS).
----
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244009.0.html)
Hope to go full-time: July / August 2019
FFS / SRS: 2020

Offline mm

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #31 on: March 15, 2019, 08:18:01 am »
 sarahc, I understand your situation.  You might try looking for a sports bra that looks like a vest wide shoulder straps so it appears much like a vest.  I have a couple of them and work well for me. Good luck hope you don't have to stop playing tennis.

Offline sarahc

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #32 on: April 15, 2019, 05:34:17 pm »
THREE MONTH UPDATE!

Start of HRT Jan 16 2019: Hgt: 71"; Wgt: 178lbs; B: 41"; UB: 37.5"; W: 34"; H: 39.5"
Feb 14 2019: Hgt 71"; Wgt: 170 lbs (-8lbs); B: 40.5" (-0.5"); UB 37" (-0.5"); W: 33" (-1.0"); H: 38" (-1.5"); Thighs: 21"; Biceps: 11.5"
Mar 14 2019: Hgt 71"; Wgt: 164lbs (-6lbs); B: 40" (-0.5"); UB 36"/37" (-1.0"); W: 32" (-1.0"); H: 37.5" (-0.5"); Thighs: 21" (0"); Biceps: 12.0" (+0.5")
Mar 14 2019: Hgt 71"; Wgt: 164lbs (-0lbs); B: 40.5" (+0.5"); UB 37" (-0"); W: 32" (-0"); H: 38" (+0.5"); Thighs: 21" (0"); Biceps: 12.0" (+0")

Blood check:
Pre-HRT: E: 33.2pg/mL; T: 286ng/dL
3 Months: 28.7pg/mL; T: 59.9ng/DL

Hormones: Got the first round of blood tests back. Estrogen levels were disappointing  (LOWER than baseline!) and honestly pretty surprising given that I'm pretty happy with my breast development for three months. The blood test was taken 12 hours after my last oral dose, however, so that may be a factor. Meanwhile, the spiro is clearly working, and we left the spiro at its current dose. My doctor and I agreed to bump up the oral estradiol dose a notch and re-evaluate in another three months. If that doesn't work, we'll move to injections in a few months.

Diet: I changed my mind on diet approach and took this month off. Keeping in mind that I'm still presenting male, many people said, "DON'T LOSE ANY MORE WEIGHT!" Also, I had several trips to go see friends and went out to eat a lot. So kinda wasn't as disciplined this month - I did get as low as 161 lbs. but really I've stayed flat around 164/165 for the most part. However, I do want to continue to make progress on weight. I'll aim to get to 158 lbs. by next month. Hopefully, that won't set off alarm bells with folks on me becoming too thin.

Breasts: Continued slow but unmistakable progress on breasts. Hard tissue underneath continues to grow, and I grew at least a half an inch in bust size. It probably grew closer to 3/4" but for now we'll write down 1/2" growth for the month. 36B bras are really filling out, almost getting to the point of being too small.

Hips / butt: Nothing going on here. I was on a cross-country plane ride during the month, and the weight loss has made me a lot less cushy down there, and man are those economy class seat cushions uncomfortable when you no longer have a tush...

Face: Face continues to change, in part due to the diet. Overall the face has thinned out a lot, but there are still a lot of jagged edges.

Libido: Stable...I get the urge to masturbate a couple times a week.

Athletic endurance: I got back into my regular exercise regime and recovered in part some of my endurance. I'm back to where I was in terms of being able to do distance running comfortably. But if it is a really intense exercise, I just don't have the staying power I had. My blood tests confirm that my hemoglobin levels have decreased, so my doctor was not surprised by this.

Other side effects: The occasional lightheadness after standing up quickly continues to be the main issue - it happens a few times per week (especially when I'm dehydrated) and I discussed it with my doctor. My doctor agreed that my blood pressure was now too low, so we agreed to halve my blood pressure medication to see if that alleviates the symptoms.

Emotional effects: None noted still. Keep in mind that estradiol levels are still pretty low.

So, overall...good continued progress on breast development, but need to improve estradiol levels and actively manage the light-headedness / low blood pressure.

Sarah
----
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244009.0.html)
Hope to go full-time: July / August 2019
FFS / SRS: 2020

Offline mm

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #33 on: April 16, 2019, 09:44:05 am »
Sarahc, good to hear to are making progress and your dr seems to be doing a good job of following you.  Keep doing as you have been.

Offline sarahc

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #34 on: May 13, 2019, 10:20:23 pm »
FOUR MONTH UPDATE!

Start of HRT Jan 16 2019: Hgt: 71"; Wgt: 178lbs; B: 41"; UB: 37.5"; W: 34"; H: 39.5"
Feb 14 2019: Hgt 71"; Wgt: 170 lbs (-8lbs); B: 40.5" (-0.5"); UB 37" (-0.5"); W: 33" (-1.0"); H: 38" (-1.5"); Thighs: 21"; Biceps: 11.5"
Mar 14 2019: Hgt 71"; Wgt: 164lbs (-6lbs); B: 40" (-0.5"); UB 36"/37" (-1.0"); W: 32" (-1.0"); H: 37.5" (-0.5"); Thighs: 21" (0"); Biceps: 12.0" (+0.5")
Apr 15 2019: Hgt 71"; Wgt: 164lbs (-0lbs); B: 40.5" (+0.5"); UB 37" (-0"); W: 32" (-0"); H: 38" (+0.5"); Thighs: 21" (0"); Biceps: 12.0" (+0")
May 13 2019: Hgt 71"; Wgt: 161lbs (-3lbs); B: 40.5" (0"); UB: 37" (0"); W: 32" (0"); H: 38" (0"); Thighs: 21"; Bicep: 11.5" (-0.5")

Not much changed this month body-wise, so this will be a brief update.

Hormones / other medications: Cutting back the blood pressure medication has improved, but not completely eliminated, occasional light-headedness. I'll continue to monitor for another couple of weeks, but may eventually request to go completely off the blood pressure medication I've been on. The bump up of my estradiol prescription had no effect on my mental state nor did it accelerate physical changes.

Diet: Tough month for the diet as there was a lot of going out with family and eating during this past month. I did manage to go down by 3 pounds despite that. Will continue to work on making progress...I continue to eat responsibly, but my exercise has dropped off a bit from 4-5x/week to 3x/week, so I think if I bump up the exercise again, I'll go back to losing 4-5 lbs per month.

Breast: Not much change in measured size, but they continue to be consistently sore starting 2 hours after each dose.

Face: Continue to get lots of comments about, "Are you still losing weight?" even though my weight has been pretty stable for a couple of months. I have a feeling that my face has been changing a bit because of the previous weight loss + HRT + electrolysis, and that (along with my growing hair) is throwing people off.

Feet: Since starting HRT, I have now lost 1 1/2 sizes going from a size 10 1/2 men's to size 9 men's. All of my dress shoes and non-athletic shoes are very loose, and they're getting close to the point of being unwearable. My athletic shoes are still fairly wearable with thick socks, but for how long? Like with other body changes, it's hard to tell to what extent this is caused by weight loss vs. HRT (especially the spiro), but all the changes in foot size have been since starting HRT FWIW. It's nice that I have fallen into a shoe size range where it is possible to get a decent selection of women's shoes. If I can just lose another 1/2 size, that would get me down to a size 10 women's, opening up a ton more shopping possibilities. But really, I don't have much control over that. I'm pretty happy with what I've got.

No changes to prescriptions. Next check-in with doctor is in mid-July, although as noted above, I may request to be taken off blood pressure medicine completely prior to that.

I'm definitely past the "initial excitement" stage of HRT and into the "long haul" stage, but I continue to be happy with my progress.

Sarah
----
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244009.0.html)
Hope to go full-time: July / August 2019
FFS / SRS: 2020

Offline sarahc

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #35 on: June 15, 2019, 09:51:57 am »
FIVE MONTH UPDATE!

More weight loss effects kicked in this month, even though I really didn't lose a lot of weight.

Start of HRT Jan 16 2019: Hgt: 71"; Wgt: 178lbs; B: 41"; UB: 37.5"; W: 34"; H: 39.5"
Feb 14 2019: Hgt 71"; Wgt: 170 lbs (-8lbs); B: 40.5" (-0.5"); UB 37" (-0.5"); W: 33" (-1.0"); H: 38" (-1.5"); Thighs: 21"; Biceps: 11.5"
Mar 14 2019: Hgt 71"; Wgt: 164lbs (-6lbs); B: 40" (-0.5"); UB 36"/37" (-1.0"); W: 32" (-1.0"); H: 37.5" (-0.5"); Thighs: 21" (0"); Biceps: 12.0" (+0.5")
Apr 15 2019: Hgt 71"; Wgt: 164lbs (-0lbs); B: 40.5" (+0.5"); UB 37" (-0"); W: 32" (-0"); H: 38" (+0.5"); Thighs: 21" (0"); Biceps: 12.0" (+0")
May 13 2019: Hgt 71"; Wgt: 161lbs (-3lbs); B: 40.5" (0"); UB: 37" (0"); W: 32" (0"); H: 38" (0"); Thighs: 21"; Bicep: 11.5" (-0.5")
Jun 15 2019: Hgt 71" (0"); Wgt: 158lbs (-3lbs); B: 40.5" (0"); UB: 36.5" (-0.5"); W: 31" (-1.0"); H: 37" (-1.0"); Thighs: 20.5" (-0.5"); Bicep: 11" (-0.5")

Hormones / other meds: After doing some blood pressure tests, my doctor and I discussed getting off blood pressure medication, but agreed on keeping it for now. I still am having very occasional light-headedness episodes.

Diet: I had a pretty good month diet wise...I actually was down to 157 lbs at one point, but had a big dinner two nights ago. I figure at this point, if I'm losing 3-4 pounds per month, I'm doing a good job.

Breast: Not much change again in bust measurement (if anything, the measurement may be a little lower); however, the underbust / rib cage has shrunk more significantly, making the breasts more prominent. Moreover, my therapist noted that she could tell the breasts were a little more prominent under a polo shirt I wore. I'm continuing to see slow but steady progress.

Other physical: I'm surprised by the amount of ongoing shrinkage of general bulk in my body despite limited additional weight loss. The last two months, the change in my biceps became very noticeable to me, and I think they definitely can pass as an athletic women's biceps at this point. Unfortunately, my butt / hips are also continuing to shrink...unlike with my breasts, hormones really don't seem to be having much effect in countering the effects of weight loss. That being said, with a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.83, I'm getting close to being shapely. But I still have a large rib cage...unfortunately, I think I'm going to be stuck with that. :-(

Libido: Continues to be low, occasionally existent, and stable.

Emotional: Ok, so I had my first stupid emotional moment. I was re-watching the end of the last episode of Six Feet Under when Claire leaves the family and they go through how each of the characters eventually dies, and I just broke down in tears and cried uncontrollably. Part of it had to do with remembering my father's recent death, but it was all just a bundle of emotions, and I just couldn't stop crying for five minutes. Emotions - now I get it...:-).

No change to prescriptions. I'll get updated labs done in early July, and my doctor and I will re-evaluate our strategy. We'll be particularly focused on the E levels. If they continue to be low, we'll probably bump up E a notch for the next three months, but then may consider injections.

Onward we go...

Sarah
----
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244009.0.html)
Hope to go full-time: July / August 2019
FFS / SRS: 2020

Offline Maddie

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Re: Finally! Sarah's very own HRT Journal
« Reply #36 on: June 15, 2019, 10:43:22 pm »
Thanks for the update Sarah.  Impressed by your ability to keep losing weight. Hoping the hips come back and more :)
Checking back for updates in a few weeks.

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