Author Topic: As a mtf, B4 going full-time,has anyone ever asked you if you are a trans-woman?  (Read 2920 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Angélique LaCava

  • *****
  • Posts: 998
  • Reputation: +8/-0
  • Gender: Female
Yes a few times, but it was before ever even coming out as trans. I didnt say anything because everytime it was around a group of people and I  was always shy and anytime someone mistook me for trans it was during roll call in school, after they would call my name around students I didnt know, a few would say I thought that was one of those trannies.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2019, 10:46:53 am by Angélique LaCava »

Offline emma-f

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 456
  • Reputation: +5/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • instagram - emmalouisef1981
    • Instagram
When I was 16 I worked with someone whose husband had transitioned. She told me that I had the same traits as him and would one day come out and transition. I denied it. She was right of course

Em x

Offline NatalieRene

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 951
  • Reputation: +7/-0
  • Gender: Female
If you are mtf, and before going full-time, has anyone ever asked you if you are a trans-woman, or if you “want to become a woman”?  (Other than a professional associated with your transition, such as a gender therapist or a medical professional.)

What did you say?  Did you answer truthfully (yes) or did you decide to not disclose to that particular person at that particular time your true mtf status?

Chrissy

No but I've been told by a few people that it explained a lot of things.

Offline ChrissyRyan

  • “Have a gentle manner”
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 30,023
  • Reputation: +36/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • No act of kindness, however small, is wasted.
No but I've been told by a few people that it explained a lot of things.

That makes sense.  If we have adopted some female mannerisms and feminine adornments and more, such as hairstyle and body changes - before being full-time, they may think we might be trans-women whether they say anything or not. 

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Lynne

  • *
  • Posts: 858
  • Reputation: +9/-0
  • Gender: Female
Not directly, but my boss told me this week that one of the new people at our client's office asked her if I was trans after seeing me the first time at their office.

Offline Sophiaprincess2019

  • *
  • Posts: 668
  • Reputation: +4/-0
  • Gender: Female
    • www.tickerfactory.com
Ironically I have never been asked if I was Transgender. One of my (now) friends guessed I was transitioning but never asked if I was TG. I've found most people could care less!

HUGS

Sophia
1968 Assigned male at birth with feminine mannerisms
1978 Dolls and dresses
1988 Experimental stage, limited makeup and clothes
1998 Denial continues, unsuccessfully tried living as a man
12-8-2018 time for a change....
2-21-2019 Started HRT
2-21-2020 One year HRT
2-21-2021 Two years HRT

Offline Lady Sarah

  • Yes, it's another Sarah
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,343
  • Reputation: +9/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • I love my hubby
Back when I started, people were much less enlightened. However, there were some that asked if I was gonna get my junk cut off ... before I ever went on hormones.
started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016

Offline ChrissyRyan

  • “Have a gentle manner”
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 30,023
  • Reputation: +36/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • No act of kindness, however small, is wasted.
Back when I started, people were much less enlightened. However, there were some that asked if I was gonna get my junk cut off ... before I ever went on hormones.

I do remember being asked about plans for that surgery.  I guess curious minds just have to know about some things.

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Jenny_Oh

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 201
  • Reputation: +5/-0
  • Gender: Queer
If you are mtf, and before going full-time, has anyone ever asked you if you are a trans-woman, or if you “want to become a woman”?

Oh yes, my wife. She asked me about 2 months before I started HRT, right before we went to sleep one night. My insightful, testosterone-befuddled, response was; "It's complicated". No kidding!
« Last Edit: February 21, 2020, 07:44:01 am by Northern Star Girl »

Offline Jessicajade

  • Neighbor
  • ***
  • Posts: 88
  • Reputation: +2/-0
I've never been asked if I'm trans. (Though the technician doing laser hair removal did ask me if I was on any new drugs... like hrt. Which I did say yes to. But that's kind of not the same because it's a service to aid in transition. So I'm not counting it.)

For the most part, unless people know me already, they tend to go with miss or lady or etc... (Which is kinda funny if I'm with coworkers to see if they notice it happening. So far only 1 has. Which is a situation I spoke of in another post.) Or they won't use any kind of gender specific terms.

There have been a few that have used "dear" but none have used "honey". Hearing "dear" or ones like it have always kinda wierded me out just because that's something I've felt should be reserved for someone actually close to you. Not some random you're talking to the first time.

Offline TanandaTheTrollop

  • Newbie
  • **
  • Posts: 40
  • Reputation: +1/-0
I came out very young. Got completely squashed of course, therapized and inundated with prayers to fix me, so I hid it. Family never forgets though.
  No one ever said trans specifically but they came close. Once at a large multi-family get together I went off off on a guy who had been gay and trans bashing for over an hour. The drinks had been flowing and when they finally got us calmed down the jerk asked what my problem was anyway. My one brother said, He is gay you idiot. My other brother said, At least. My sister chimes in with, At the very least. It was a bit of a shock for me because I thought that I hid it fairly well. When I whined about it to my best friend later, she laughed and asked how I could believe that those closest to me couldn’t tell.
  At work a guy told me one time, If you ever become a girl you will fit right in, you are exactly like my wife.
  No, no one ever asked me but they came close to it I think. I talked about it with my best friend shortly after we met because she asked me why I never dated a guy, so she has always known. My family of course knew. When I came out to my older brother before I transitioned he said, Why not tell me how to rebuild an engine, skin a deer, grill a steak or one of the thousands of other things I already know. My younger brother just said, Yep. My sister hugged me and said, it’s about time. The guy at work never treated me differently when I came out there. When I asked why before I quit he said, I have known for years, my cousin is transsexual. Seemed pretty obvious to me, and just as obvious that you weren’t ready for people to know.
  I wasted way too much time trapped by fear. Woulda, coulda, shoulda huh?

TtT

Offline sarahc

  • Sarah
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,385
  • Reputation: +11/-0
  • Gender: Female
No one thought I was trans, because I really didn't act in a feminine manner. Many thought I was gay (in fact, I wasn't gay...never have been attracted to guys).

When I have came out, some people who have known me most of my life have basically said, "Aha...now your life story makes a lot more sense." In other words, my coming out was mind-blowing and completely unexpected, and yet strangely logical at the same time.

Sarah

----
48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline Allie Jayne

  • *
  • Posts: 1,826
  • Reputation: +17/-0
  • Gender: Female
No one thought I was trans, because I really didn't act in a feminine manner. Many thought I was gay (in fact, I wasn't gay...never have been attracted to guys).

When I have came out, some people who have known me most of my life have basically said, "Aha...now your life story makes a lot more sense." In other words, my coming out was mind-blowing and completely unexpected, and yet strangely logical at the same time.

Sarah

Same here....nobody guessed and when I came out they all said all the signs were there they just never connected the dots.

Allie

Offline yukarinrin

  • *
  • Posts: 8
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Yes.
I don't think most people here around me know about mtf, they may know about gays more.
If someone asks this, in most cases, he/she is a LGBT person, or a <admirer>.

If they don't ask, I will not talk about this.

Offline Dani lee

  • Neighbor
  • ***
  • Posts: 54
  • Reputation: +1/-0
     Depends on when in life your talking about, all the way through elementary school and all of middle school the other kids made a lot of fun out of me. One time in middle school I had a couple of girls in my class ask me if I had a cockroach in my pants. Referring to the shape of female sex organs. I had no idea of what they were talking about, and said no! 
      I had a lot of female mannerisms growing up I couldn't figure out what I was doing to get picked on and beat up at school. By the time I got into high school I figured out that if I did wild things that the others wouldn't do no one would pick on me.
       As an adult most people would have never had known, on occasion someone that was really paying attention to me would notice something just a little off about me. Like I'd just always know when something was wrong with someone else. There was this woman that I worked with for a couple of years that made it her mission to make me admit that I was gay or transgender to her. She had other girls come hit on me to make me uncomfortable, we worked in retail then. That was just really not cool. It didn't help that at the time I had a bad boy reputation. So things got a little ugly.  I'd pull some mean pranks to get even.
        Dani

Offline pamelatransuk

  • Finally taking action after decades of suppression
  • *
  • Posts: 2,356
  • Reputation: +11/-0
  • Gender: Female
Noone ever asked me directly but there were some comments made in the company of me and others at the same time, suggesting that I was "somewhere between a boy and a girl". I smiled each time but made no comment.

Hugs

Pamela  xx






Offline ChrissyRyan

  • “Have a gentle manner”
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 30,023
  • Reputation: +36/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • No act of kindness, however small, is wasted.
Noone ever asked me directly but there were some comments made in the company of me and others at the same time, suggesting that I was "somewhere between a boy and a girl". I smiled each time but made no comment.

Hugs

Pamela  xx

 :)

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline ChrissyRyan

  • “Have a gentle manner”
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 30,023
  • Reputation: +36/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • No act of kindness, however small, is wasted.
Sometimes people can be a bit confused on gender based on appearance.

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Anastasia

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 210
  • Reputation: +16/-0
  • Gender: Male
I am not out in general about my being trans and nobody has ever asked me. After reading these responses, I am wondering if more people have guessed than I realized. My wife knows I crossdress, but there has never been the discussion about if I want/need to be a woman. Yet she has on more than one occasion told me that I need to be careful because my mannerisms are becoming feminine. Drinking, being overly tired or very relaxed/happy seems to bring it out on me. It would be ironic if people around me knew and were ok with it but I was too scared to move forward.

Offline ChrissyRyan

  • “Have a gentle manner”
  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 30,023
  • Reputation: +36/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • No act of kindness, however small, is wasted.
Thanks ladies for sharing out.   :)


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that you speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Tags: