Community Conversation > Youth talk

Will I ever get over my fear of the men's room? (FTM)

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Paul Muad-Dib:
Ofc it helps a great deal if you still look androgynous to have that male voice if you have to justify yourself to someone in there. Not that I ever had to but the voice is a huge part of passing. I could understand trepidation if that isn't there yet.

That's another thing transmen should be aware of. Men are jumped in general more often than women on average and make up a larger portion of "random assault" and mugging victims than women. So watch yourself and be situationally aware. If someplace is too dodgy, avoid. If it looks like you need to project a "don't mess with me" vibe to be left alone, then do.

As others say, learning to fight would not be a hindrance but a positive, even if you never have to use it. The male world is very different from the female when it comes to how people treat you, and looking or acting like a female is not going to help in that regard at any point. Even if you don't want to learn any martial arts, looking buff will help somewhat - it's the same in the human world as the rest of the animal kingdom: if someone looks fit and healthy and strong they'll be less likely to attract people who think they'll be easy to victimize.

Maid Marion:
You need to identify safe places to go..  Especially in Texas where bad bathroom bills are an issue.

Shop at Target rather than Walmart.  Target has a more affluent customer base than Walmart.  Poor people don't have anything to lose.  Judgement proof means that someone has no assets so a lawsuit means little.  Locate good facilities in your area.  Maybe little hole in the wall places that only have one bathroom for both sexes.

Identify good times to go.  You want to be able to zip in and out.  And, do exactly that.

Marion

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