Author Topic: Not trans enough to join the clique  (Read 1766 times)

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Offline Allison S

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #60 on: February 16, 2019, 07:53:16 am »
I think this topic went way off the rail here... I think it was petty that Dawn wasn't invited into the group. And I also liked Jill610's playing "devil's advocate" because those are valid arguments.
I take back (lol that I have to do this) that anyone is "privileged" being trans in anyway. My meaning in that was lost since it seems to have provoked people's emotions over decades of their lives...

I think it's silly to have in fighting between us... I'm glad the newer transgender community seems to be more united, and honestly less catty. 

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Offline Devlyn

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #61 on: February 16, 2019, 08:44:09 am »
First, I'm sorry you were rejected by this group, Dawn. If it was advertised as being a general transgender support group, they ought to think about rebranding themselves.

Having said that, it is worth noting that we have Member groups here on Susan's, you can join them pending approval by Staff. They are peer support areas intended for people to interact with other members in the same situation. There are groups for Crossdressers, MTF transsexuals, FTM transsexuals, Non-binaries, Post-ops, etc. You have to provide a reason for wishing to join the group, and sometimes people are rejected. For example, stating "I'm not post-op, but I want to see what they're talking about in the post-op peer support area" would probably earn a rejection.

Offline Linde

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #62 on: February 16, 2019, 10:44:00 am »
My therapist asked me recently if I were proud of being transgender; I told her, No, I'm not, I'm proud of being a woman. A woman is who I am; transgender is just where I'm from.

What an unusual question! 
Why would anybody be proud to be something that hurts so much?  We just have to look through this form and can see how many tears and pain it causes to be transgender (it did destroy my marriage).  I am proud to be transgender and still be alive, and that I have the real chance to leave the transgender thing behind as a faint memory, once I am done with it an am a woman!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy







Offline Linde

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #63 on: February 16, 2019, 11:26:05 am »

I think I just need to go on hiatus and keep quiet from now on and take up a new hobby or something? I have enough issues without trans drama being one of them so go I back into the privileged woodwork in 3-2-1 poof! My best to everyone with everything.
I would not like this very much Lisa, because when I read your contributions an reports, it always let's me know how my life could have been, if I would have been born 5 or 20 years later. 
I know that I was medically altered as a baby, I don't know why, I just can guess.  I know that my parents did not emphasize any gender roll with me, but that changed when I entered society through school.  I had to be a guy, and alter a man.  I tried very hard to fit that roll and eventually failed to do so.  Now, because society allows it for me, I am in full steam to be a woman!
I don't really know if I qualify as being transgender enough, or the right version and color of transgender, because in my mind I am just reclaiming the gender and body that was stolen from me a long time ago.
I am not able to give a lot of advise for a lot of people here, because I never had real dysphoria (and still don't have any), I have a deep rooted dislike for the bodily features that were forced onto me, but similar surgical procedures can correct that, as it could give me them when I was a baby.

However, I still feel that I belong to this transgender family, because many aspects of my life are the same as they are for other transgender women.  It might not be identical in all aspects, but very often it is close enough to help me to understand what is going on with me.  I am as confused about what is going on with me, as it is for any transgender person here, because I was also forced to live with the wrong gender identity!

Again Lisa, I hope you stay involved here, because I, too, (even as old as I am) like to dream once in a while how my life could have been, nd for this dreaming I use your life and our empathy as an example!

Lots of hugs
Linde
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy







Offline Linde

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #64 on: February 16, 2019, 11:29:15 am »

Having said that, it is worth noting that we have Member groups here on Susan's, you can join them pending approval by Staff. They are peer support areas intended for people to interact with other members in the same situation. There are groups for Crossdressers, MTF transsexuals, FTM transsexuals, Non-binaries, Post-ops, etc. You have to provide a reason for wishing to join the group, and sometimes people are rejected. For example, stating "I'm not post-op, but I want to see what they're talking about in the post-op peer support area" would probably earn a rejection.
I wish there would be something for intesex persons.  Because people like I have partially way different problems than many others on these pages.
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy







Offline Janes Groove

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #65 on: February 16, 2019, 12:03:12 pm »
I'm sorry you had to experience this Dawn.  It's truly unfortunate.
Also, my personal opinion is that transgenders need to find community with each other.  It's just common sense.  Birds of a feather flock together.  Kind of the reason people are even on this website in the first place. Duh.
Or to put it more lyrically:

"My back to the wall
A victim of laughing chance
This is for me
The essence of true romance
Sharing the things we know and love
With those of my kind
Libations
Sensations
That stagger the mind"
-Steely Dan

Offline NatalieRene

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #66 on: February 16, 2019, 12:38:47 pm »
Lisa I think I can understand where you’re coming from. It can be hard for me to relate to someone that isn’t going full time or lives in a closet because I don’t have to hide or worry about it. There can be an element here that gets down right militant which rubs me the wrong way but different opinions from different viewpoints keeps our group from becoming a echo chamber.

As long as we all respect each other and don’t fight I think these kind of conversations are fine, as it helps us explore ourselves and what it means to be us. No one person is the same so why would our experiences or view points be the same?

Offline Linde

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #67 on: February 16, 2019, 01:12:25 pm »
Lisa I think I can understand where you’re coming from. It can be hard for me to relate to someone that isn’t going full time or lives in a closet because I don’t have to hide or worry about it. T
It is difficult to relate to some of the problems of closeted people, when one is out, and has no problems with society knowing one as female.,
But on the other hand, we all have been closeted at some time of our lives, and we all found ways and means to get out of hiding.  And we probably can provide the experience we gained from this coming out, to help other people who are still in the closet and ar scared to come out?
Yes, each of our paths was different, but if we can only help one person to come out of the closet, or find a shoulder to lean on, we probably did do a great job!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy







Offline NatalieRene

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #68 on: February 16, 2019, 01:36:47 pm »
It is difficult to relate to some of the problems of closeted people, when one is out, and has no problems with society knowing one as female.,
But on the other hand, we all have been closeted at some time of our lives, and we all found ways and means to get out of hiding.  And we probably can provide the experience we gained from this coming out, to help other people who are still in the closet and ar scared to come out?
Yes, each of our paths was different, but if we can only help one person to come out of the closet, or find a shoulder to lean on, we probably did do a great job!

My having difficulty in relating doesn't invalidate those problems. I can vaguely remember my fear of going to the rest room the first time and the fear of coming out at work. Looking back I know that the fear is very real but at this point it's nonexistent.

I don't think what happened to Dawn was right unless it was a group that focuses on a certain aspect and she isn't at that point yet. But if it is a general trans group it shouldn't have been an issue. Regardless it could have been handled better by having knowledge of other groups that would be able to help Dawn and not just telling her no.

I'm here to try and help. :D

Offline Devlyn

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #69 on: February 16, 2019, 02:54:27 pm »
What an unusual question! 
Why would anybody be proud to be something that hurts so much?  We just have to look through this form and can see how many tears and pain it causes to be transgender (it did destroy my marriage).  I am proud to be transgender and still be alive, and that I have the real chance to leave the transgender thing behind as a faint memory, once I am done with it an am a woman!

Important that we only speak for ourselves. Being transgender has been nothing but a learning experience for me,  there hasn't been any pain or suffering.

I wish there would be something for intesex persons.  Because people like I have partially way different problems than many others on these pages.

There is, go to Profile/Modify profile/Group Membership and choose Intersexual.  :)

Offline Linde

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #70 on: February 16, 2019, 03:30:26 pm »
Important that we only speak for ourselves. Being transgender has been nothing but a learning experience for me,  there hasn't been any pain or suffering.

There is, go to Profile/Modify profile/Group Membership and choose Intersexual.  :)
Thank you Devlyn, I will take a look at it!  I am in the intersex group of the discord server, but there's an entire group of 4 of us only!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy







Offline Complete

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #71 on: February 16, 2019, 04:16:10 pm »
Thank you Devlyn, I will take a look at it!  I am in the intersex group of the discord server, but there's an entire group of 4 of us only!

Like l said previously : the rarest of the rare.

Offline Linde

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #72 on: February 16, 2019, 05:02:08 pm »
Like l said previously : the rarest of the rare.
Yes, one feels kind of lonely and forgotten!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy







Offline Cindy

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Re: Not trans enough to join the clique
« Reply #73 on: February 16, 2019, 09:12:19 pm »
Topic Locked after TOS-2 argument

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