Topic: Finding Strength

[MelissaAnn]

There was a time in my life that I thought I was strong. I Stood there sweatin' in the sun in the height of summer i'd never felt that strong. I moved 6 yards of dirt by myself in an afternoon.

Hitting baseballs a country mile. way over the fence. fielding baseballs at third. I never felt that strong. throwing a baseball 400 plus feet accurately to home plate. I never felt so strong.

I was wrong... really wrong. do you know what took strength? being in the bottomless pit of despair, a suicidal pit of despair. clawing and climbing out of that pit took everything I had. facing the sexual abuse from an uncle. but the worse one was facing my demons. Facing myself. these took a different type of strength that must come from within.

I faced every battle and have come out the other side. I no longer stare into the blackness of despair. My hands are steady. My eyes are clear and bright
My walk has purpose. My steps are quick and light. And I hold firmly
To what I feels what's right.

This strength carried me through my unmasking. My strength comes from within.

[Northern Star Girl]

@MelissaAnn
Dear Melissa:
When I first saw that you posted and I started reading I was a little concerned that your emotions were in a bottomless pit but as I read further and read how that you reacted and had the determination to find your inner strength I was very heartened that your posting had a positive conclusion.

Thank you for sharing and posting... and I am wishing you well as you continue in your journey.

HUGS and more HUGS,
Danielle

[Rakel]

Those of us who have survived the despair of gender dysphoria are strong indeed. It takes real courage to stand up and say publicly, This is who I am.

In the recent past, we faced scorn and discrimination. Our rights were violated and good people just stood by and did little. Thankfully, today things are better, but there is still more to do before we have equal rights.

For myself, no longer having to deal with gender dysphoria is worth the costs of my transition. My mental state is much better now than before.

Take care. 

[Sephirah]

To quote the real life Superman, Christopher Reeve:

A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.

[ChrissyRyan]

Try to never give up.

Chrissy

[Allie Jayne]

Melissa, I am in that struggle now. Coming through HRT, RLT, and GCS has bought me to a place of my nightmares. I am stuck somewhere in the middle, not a man, not a woman, and nothing seems to be changing. My wife is leaving me because she doesn't want to come home and find my body. I am in an impossible situation, I don't know who I am and everybody around me is confused. I am depressed, and desperate for a way out of this intolerable situation. I need strength. I have lost little in the way of muscle though I am in my 3rd year of HRT, and I am still physically very strong, but it is mental fortitude which will possibly get me through this.

Your post gives me hope. If you can do it, maybe I can too, and it helps me to fight a bit harder.

Thank you.

Allie

[Maddie]

Hang on Allie.

Thanks for the inspiring affirmation MelissaAnn.
Believe your mantra strong woman.

[Oldandcreaky]

Allie, your situation sounds profoundly painful. I don't know you, but I'm still sad for you. I hope you can glean enough happiness to sustain yourself and I truly hope estrogen keeps chipping away at the maleness that decades of testosterone heaped on you.

[Sephirah]

Melissa, I am in that struggle now. Coming through HRT, RLT, and GCS has bought me to a place of my nightmares. I am stuck somewhere in the middle, not a man, not a woman, and nothing seems to be changing. My wife is leaving me because she doesn't want to come home and find my body. I am in an impossible situation, I don't know who I am and everybody around me is confused. I am depressed, and desperate for a way out of this intolerable situation. I need strength. I have lost little in the way of muscle though I am in my 3rd year of HRT, and I am still physically very strong, but it is mental fortitude which will possibly get me through this.

Your post gives me hope. If you can do it, maybe I can too, and it helps me to fight a bit harder.

Thank you.

Allie

Allie, you can do it. Being you is more in your mind than in your body. From your post, it feels like a lot of the way you feel comes from how much physical change you have. And you base your perception on that. As if your outer self shapes your inner self. If people can't see you, then you can't be you.

Try to think of it the other way round, sweetie. Like Gandhi said: Be the change you want to see in the world.

It has to come from inside you. You have to know yourself before you can be yourself.

I can't transition. I just can't. For health reasons. I am always going to be stuck with something I hate. But I refuse to let that stop me. And I've been belligerent to the point of really peeing people off with that. To the point that I get treated like myself because I point blank refuse to let people do otherwise. However all of that comes from a strong self-image. And that's what you have to have. How people see you is based on far more than how you look. It's how you are. Like throwing a pebble into a pond, the ripples start from the centre and work outwards. Don't let your physical form define you, sweetie. You define it.

Mind over matter.

You are a woman, so just be. And let whatever changes happen, happen as they will. Don't rely on them making you into something you already are. You're not a slave to your anatomy, sweetie. You are beautiful. And when you realise that, you can allow other people to realise it too.

*huggles* I believe in you. Just be you, and let the world catch up at its own pace.