Author Topic: Strong Indicators I was Born Intersex...Need Some Help Please!  (Read 453 times)

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Offline Vea1996

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Strong Indicators I was Born Intersex...Need Some Help Please!
« on: February 26, 2019, 06:32:22 pm »
Hello!

Disclaimer/trigger warning: this discusses a LOT of LGBTphobia and mentions conversion therapy. I also use the word "queer" since personally, it fits me and as a non-binary person, it doesn't offend me. If I'm not supposed to use that in this forum, please let me know! I don't want to hurt anyone.

I’m new here and am under an anonymous name due to safety issues. Over the past year, I’ve been looking back at how I was raised and how my parents have treated certain topics…and the more things I put together, the odder my childhood looks and the more it points towards intersex as a possibility.

I have a sister who is two years older than me, and she was given all the basic sex ed. At age 9, she was told what internal or external parts she had. She was told what cycles were. She was told the basics of how reproduction and intercourse work. And, since my mom is LGBTphobic, she was told that only a man and woman should be married “like it says in the Bible.”

Even when I reached the age the my sister was when she was told these things, I was NEVER told that I had parts, what a cycle was, how sex worked, or even phobic ideas. Furthermore, I wasn’t even allowed to know what a bra was until I saw my sister wearing one and demanded to know what it was. I didn’t even know what a cycle, uterus, vagina, ovaries, etc. etc. were until I had my cycle at 12 and a half. It felt like my mom didn’t even expect me to have one. And since we were both homeschooled, it’s not like I had access to outside education.

What’s even odder is that my sister, all the information she was told, she was specifically told to never tell me about it, even as I got older. Even by the time I was 12, ANY mention of cycles, genitals, sexuality, etc. etc. was SHUT DOWN around me. As soon as a TV show mentioned that stuff? My mom rushed to turn it off. As soon as a TV news feature about LGBT matters came on? My mom would turn the TV off. She would monitor what I read in the newspaper. But despite her phobia for religious reasons, she never told me “gay people will go to hell,” or anything like that. It's not like she just went, "Hm, it seems like Vea might be gay. I'll scare them with the concept of hell." LGBT words couldn’t even be mentioned around me. It’s like I was walking around with an invisible brand on me that read, “If they learn anything about genitals, sex, puberty, LGBT…SOMETHING will happen/they will figure something out.”

And at first I thought that perhaps my mom was very overprotective of me (being the youngest and all) or was just crazy phobic. So I didn’t think much of it. As I got older, around tween age, I started to realize I didn’t identify with female (I go by they/them now) and was not straight. But it’s not like I was outwardly a flaming pinnacle of queerness. I clearly presented as cis and straight. I still wore skirts and was just whiny about having to shave all the time (I was forced to by my mom and if I didn’t it would cause a HUGE problem…didn’t happen if my sister didn’t shave her legs). My mom would demand that I Nair my faint mustache. She approached me when I was about 14 or 15 years old and asked me if I would want to get certain hormone creams to increase my breast growth (at that point, my breasts were just…not growing, but my sister also had very small breasts at that age and was never asked about that).

When I was 15, I was taken to an endocrinologist and diagnosed with likely Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. But for some reason, that didn’t put my mom at ease. Since I was homeschooled, the only other place I had to go was the community college I attended as a highschool student. I wasn’t allowed to walk outside by myself until I was 18 years old. Couldn’t and still can’t drive. And when my mom would drop me off at the college, she would watch me walk to the buildings I took classes in, and if I took a slightly different path, she would call me and ask if “I were meeting up with certain people.” Certain people meant “are you meeting up with queer people.” She never ever wanted me to know LGBT people. She would interrogate me about any friends I made at college. If they were queer, she would do everything within her power to stop me from being around them. When I went to a convention for school, she told me to Nair my stomach hair because “what if you have a medical emergency there, the EMTs have to take your clothed off, the see that, and decide that you are a ‘certain kind of person’ and to not save you because of it.” My dad has said the same thing to me and he is pro-LGBT. He never said people might think I’m trans and it could be dangerous. He would say, “People might think you’re a certain kind of person and it could be dangerous,” even though he has said the word “transgender” in front of me before. And he has told before, "Your sexuality is your choice, hell, you can even be transgender nowadays."

Again, my sister was NEVER treated like this at ALL.

Early last year, my mom decided that she wanted to put me on “hormone therapy” to try and “feminize” me (fortunately, I was avle to avoid it). Since I have PCOS, she could easily come up with a lie as to why I would need it. I was 17 at the time, so I had less legal power than I do now. She also indicated that if I wasn’t put on the therapy and didn’t show interest in dating men, she would “have to take me somewhere to get that fixed.”

(I should mention, I am in liberal West Coast United States. This level of phobia is…very odd for this area.)

So, needless to say, I was pretty freaked out. I decided to speak with one of my college professors who is an LGBT ally. I wanted a trusted adult to know what was going on. She was raised in the DEEP south and had seen the extremities of LGBTphobia and what people’s parents did when they came out of the closet.

I gave her a letter explaining what was going on, detailing almost all of what I said above. When she was done reading it, she told me if I had ever considered that I might have been born intersex and this was my parents’ way of hiding it from me and preventing me from finding out. She had has a friend go through a very similar experience; he was treated like this by his parents and only found out he was intersex when he was in his 30's. At first I didn’t take the idea seriously. I have cycles. I have a uterus and ovaries (I’ve had ultrasounds before for the cysts in my ovaries). But then I started to think back to specific things from my childhood:

My parents were absolutely crazy about home videos. They have STACKS of cassette tapes, and when my sister and I were younger, they would make us watch them. One time, we came upon the tape which had my birth as a part of it. When we got to it, my parents fastforwarded past it. Furthermore, we were allowed to see videos of my sister as a baby, completely unclothed, being bathed and such. When I asked where mine were (I was 8 years old when I was watching them and was envious), my parents said, “Oh,well…we can…show those to you…later,” and never did. And again, I doubt it’s a case of “you were the youngest child and we didn’t have time.” My parents have CASES of home videos. Additionally, overall, when we would watch tapes of me as an infant, my parents would just….randomly fast forward all of sudden for no reason.

And more specifically: One time when I was 5 my aunt was babysitting my sister and I while my mom was out grocery shopping. It was getting around my bed time, and my aunt decided to give me a bath to help my mom out while she was running errands. In the middle of it, my mom came home, walked into the bathroom, and saw me, unclothed, being bathed by my aunt, and my mom just LOST IT for no reason. She started yelling and screaming and more or less dragged my aunt out of the bathroom. No explanation. And my aunt has never been an untrustworthy person. She could be trusted with children 100%.

And as I thought back to that stuff, it definitely felt….off. So I decided to turn to online research. And when I was looking through info, I found the name of a more obscure condition: Progesterone Induced Viralization. It doesn’t affect the chromosomes of a female fetus, but it will masculinize the genitals to varying degrees (enlarged clitoris, adhered labia, etc. etc.). It could happen when a pregnant woman was taking progesterone based drugs while she was pregnant to prevent miscarriages. And when I read that, I remembered that my mom, who had had multiple miscarriages before my sister was born, had said she had been on progesterone the entire time she was pregnant with me. And yes, medically speaking, there is no proof the that sort of drug works for miscarriages, but my parents were DESPERATE for kids, and I have no doubt they would have tried anything even if there wasn’t much proof behind it.

And when I read about PIV, I remembered something from when I was around 14 years old. When I was 14, I didn’t realize that my mom was phobic, so, one time, after she demanded to know why I wasn’t shaving my legs, I made the mistake of telling her that sometimes I felt masculine. Obviously, she flipped out, but she also went on a rant about how my dad would blame her and say that it was her fault for me turning out this way…even though like I’ve said before, my dad is not phobic. And I’m just thinking…almost ALL that stuff mentioned above has been coming from my mom. All the phobia, the stalking, the forced medical choices. And I’m thinking…maybe I was born with PIV because of the medication my mom was on, and this is just all one…giant guilt complex she has.

To add, I was recently going through the medical records I have access to (only ones from the past 5 or so years) and it turns out my endo doc had actually tested me two years ago for intersex chromosomes during a routine blood test without mentioning it to me (at least, she didn’t tell me that she was testing my chromosomes for the purposes of intersex investigation) and then gave my parents the results. And they never told me about it (for the record, I have 46XX). They never told me that I had ever been tested for being intersex.

And when it comes to the external parts…it’s been kind of tough for me to tell. I’ve found that if the PIV isn’t that severe, surgery can easily make things look normal by society’s standards. But even if it looks normal, the nerves of the clitoris can never be truly preserved no matter how hard doctors have tried. And while I look what could pass for normal down there, I have close to no sensitivity in my clitoris. I can AGGRESSIVLE push, pull, shove it around and at the most it might feel slightly more sensitive than everything else around it. It literally took me almost two weeks to find it (started search three weeks ago and found it about a week ago) because even though I was again, aggressively and forcefully searching around, I never felt it.

This has all just been…it feels like puzzle pieces are falling into place…but I don’t know if I’m just overanalyzing or actually crazy. Does this sound like just extreme phobia? Even though my mom is obviously phobic, it's weird that she never even told me "only a man and a woman should be together" like she did my sister. It was more like, even when I was too young to have an identity, she thought there was "something" about me that meant I would be gay or trans. Yet she's never outwardly asked me "Are you gay? Are you trans?"

 Does it sound like maybe PIV was actually an option for me? If so, I really don’t know what to do. I’m 18 now, but I’m still at home trying to get out (it’s a bad home situation too) and my only allowed independence is taking shorts walks in the neighborhood. I’m just really not sure what to do about it and how to pursue figuring it out.

I know this is a LOT, and this IS my first ever post here. So, to anyone who even reads all the way down to the end of it, thank you so much.

Offline Linde

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Re: Strong Indicators I was Born Intersex...Need Some Help Please!
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2019, 07:56:09 pm »
Hi there, I am a intersex person (was diagnosed with XXY and a host of other mutations).  I was assigned male at birth, but was definitely altered shortly after birth.

Your description shows some possible indications of being intersex, but it seems to not clearly show up on the exterior of your body.  I, for example, never developed any secondary male sex characteristics, and always had/have a more female looking body.  I never developed an Adams Apple, and did not get a really deep voice either. 
Unless you have similar body characteristics that make you look less female, any intersex condition could be discovered only through pretty involved medical testing.  You may want to work through the information in this link
http://www.isna.org/faq/

Just to make you aware o the fact, it is not really fun being intersex!  If you are, over your life span, you will discover that your body can be pretty different from those of other people.  You may be looked upon as being a weirdo, you may be laughed about, and made fun off, and lovers may turn away from you when they discover that you are intersex.  This world is not yet ready for my kind of people, and life, specially in this country, is not always that easy.

It may sound cool to be intersex, but believe me, most of the times it is not.  I never had a gender identity, and that gets pretty lonesome over time, not to have a feeling of belonging.  I try for a while now to be a woman, and try to acquire the female gender identity.
For your sake, I hope very much that you are not intesex, but just a little different!

But if you turn out to be intersex, we try to help each other as much as we can!

hugs
Linde
Feb 2019, bi-lateral orchiectomy
June 10, 2019 Not enough Y chr detected to be male






Offline Vea1996

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Re: Strong Indicators I was Born Intersex...Need Some Help Please!
« Reply #2 on: February 26, 2019, 09:26:06 pm »
Hi there, I am a intersex person (was diagnosed with XXY and a host of other mutations).  I was assigned male at birth, but was definitely altered shortly after birth.

Your description shows some possible indications of being intersex, but it seems to not clearly show up on the exterior of your body.  I, for example, never developed any secondary male sex characteristics, and always had/have a more female looking body.  I never developed an Adams Apple, and did not get a really deep voice either. 
Unless you have similar body characteristics that make you look less female, any intersex condition could be discovered only through pretty involved medical testing.  You may want to work through the information in this link
http://www.isna.org/faq/

Just to make you aware o the fact, it is not really fun being intersex!  If you are, over your life span, you will discover that your body can be pretty different from those of other people.  You may be looked upon as being a weirdo, you may be laughed about, and made fun off, and lovers may turn away from you when they discover that you are intersex.  This world is not yet ready for my kind of people, and life, specially in this country, is not always that easy.

It may sound cool to be intersex, but believe me, most of the times it is not.  I never had a gender identity, and that gets pretty lonesome over time, not to have a feeling of belonging.  I try for a while now to be a woman, and try to acquire the female gender identity.
For your sake, I hope very much that you are not intesex, but just a little different!

But if you turn out to be intersex, we try to help each other as much as we can!

hugs
Linde

Thanks for the response, Linde!

Ah, yeah I forgot to include that physically, besides genital areas, I definitely do not fit the female category. I'm 18 and still can wear the first bra I was given when I was 11. If I don't wear a bra and throw a shirt on, it looks like I don't even have breasts. Never really developed the typical female curves, have an adam's apple, and have a body hair level typical of a cis man. If I cut my hair short, I would look like a small teenage boy with a slightly feminine face. I've been told it's because of the PCOS. I still find it odd though that my doctor actually tested me specifically for mosaic chromosomes without telling me and then passing that on to my parents who never told me either. In the same letter about the chromosome results, she said that I don't actually have enough signs of PCOS, but, yeah, I have a few cysts in my ovaries. 

With that said, as I said above, PIV, which I'm considering to be a possibility, wouldn't change my chromosomes. but would have just masculinized my genitals to a varying degree (can range from female with a large clitoris to make with no testes), and smaller degrees can, apparently, be easy to fix (minus lose of sensation which is what I have). So it's hard for me to just know from a glance if something is "wrong" down there.

And ah, yeah, I'm sorry if it came off like I thought being intersex was fun or cool. I don't even know if I am intersex, but I've already become well aware how painful things could be (as mentioned above, I'm in a very phobic home and am already non-binary). What scares me the most is, if I am intersex, having to go from day to day, walking through crowds, knowing that there are people in the crowd who would think I shouldn't even exist if they knew who I was. And what you said about the issues being intersex brings with romantic partners...that's one of the big reasons I want to figure this out. I definitely am afraid that I could try and be with a partner, and then they find out I'm intersex (and I didn't know it) and turn away from me, or worse, hurt me

 Like I said, I'm already non-binary in a very phobic home environment, so I've gotten a pretty good taste of how hateful people can be. So again, I hope it didn't come off like that. I will say that, personally, if it turns out I'm intersex, it wouldn't bother me when it comes to how I feel about my body. I'm already pretty indifferent about what my physical body is, but I am definitely scared about what repercussions I could face from society.

I'm just not really sure what to do about it since there are definitely some odd things with my upbringing, but I don't know if I'm just overthinking. And if I do have reason to be suspicious, how to go about investigating...

Offline Linde

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Re: Strong Indicators I was Born Intersex...Need Some Help Please!
« Reply #3 on: February 26, 2019, 10:51:27 pm »
Vea, just relax, being intersex is not the end of the world, ne just has to learn to live with it.  One important thing is, nobody needs to know what you are, as long as you do not have a romantic relation.  Considering your home and how homophobic your mother is, I wouldn't even talk with her about your feelings.  If you need an outlet, come here and you always find a shoulder to lean on. And we might even be able to give you advise that is valuable for you!
I don't know if you plan to move out of your home (college?), but once you have a chance, talk with a doctor about yourself and see what the doc, can do.  Some testing is not as complicated, while others is very expensive and involved (genome analysis).
Read through the link I gave you, and see if conditions would apply to you, the link has pretty much anything that is considered to belong to the intersex spectrum.
Find a local LGBTQI group and see if they can help you along.  Just hang in there, you came to the right place and we try to help you.
I am sure pretty soon some other members will come along, who can give you different advise!

Just hang in there! ( did it for many years, and most of the time I had a pretty good live.  You will be able to have a similar good life!)
Hugs
Linde
Feb 2019, bi-lateral orchiectomy
June 10, 2019 Not enough Y chr detected to be male






Offline josie76

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Re: Strong Indicators I was Born Intersex...Need Some Help Please!
« Reply #4 on: February 27, 2019, 05:34:45 am »
Hello Vea, thank you for sharing your story with us.

In researching hormones I found a number of indications that certain non-human progestin drugs would cause partial masculinization of female fetus. Exactly like you have read, enlarged clitoris appearing more penile like and fused labia. Because fetal development is so complex, many things can "go askew" and change the development. Genes and chromosomes only provide the program for development. Few people realize that chromosomes do not determine sex. The genes set the stage for a complex cascade of chemical signals and cell signal receptors that all must come together to develop our sex, gender, and sexuality.

Synthetic progestins can trigger activation of cellular androgen (male hormone) receptors. Its the activation of these cell receptors that changes many developmental traits from nature's default of female to male traits. If it helps to understand what happens when we all begin;

Normally,
the Y chromosome has one gene that selects a male. This is called the SRY gene.
The SRY gene encodes a protein called TDF (testes determining factor)
The TDF protein is sensed by a receptor in the proto-gonads encoded by a gene called SOX9.
IF the gonad cells detect TDF, they will form the first type of teste cell and produce another hormone called AMH (anti Mullerian hormone).
IF the other cells in the gonad detect AMH, then these will form a second teste cell and produce the male hormone testosterone.

Male selection must happen around 6-7 weeks. If TDF is not detected at 12 weeks the gonads will begin to form ovarian cells.

We all start with 2 sets of reproductive structures called ducts. The Mullerian ducts will form female internal organs. The Wolffian ducts will form male internal organs.
Wolffian ducts will only grow if testosterone is present. Opposite of that, Mullerian ducts will grow by default unless AMH is present.

Here is the divide. SRY gene = testes = growth of male, inhibition of female growth. Normally anyway.

The external genitals require a more powerful male hormone called DHT (dihydrotestosterone) to form male parts. DHT is made by combining an enzyme with testosterone. Some people do not produce this enzyme so a normal genetic male child can be born with fully appearing female genitals. Here is where the synthetic progestin medication call also trigger this change. From what I have read, the progestin meds only partially masculinize the genitals as they do not trigger the cell receptors as potently as DHT does.

So all of what I typed above is just what it takes to form our sexual organs. By speaking with doctors I have learned that certain skeletal traits are set early in the first trimester as well. The shape of the joint of the pelvic bones (ilium to the sacrum) and the flare outward of the iliac crest are changed by triggering androgen receptors, as are the angle of the knee and elbow joints. These skeletal differences are not visible early in life as the other pelvic bones have not fused but if you look closely the basic pattern of knee joint angle differences are usually visible between boys and girls long before the age of puberty.
There are about a dozen known "sexually dimorphic" regions in the brain. Somewhere in these small differences lies the deep instinctual differences between the average male and female. These changes take place over some time in the second trimester when the brain is growing rapidly. These differences are also triggered by testosterone levels.
Then we also know that one area of the hypothalamus s changed later in the third trimester. We know that the size and neural density of this one part corresponds to a person's sexual attraction. We don't know how the differences in measured values makes this happen but we know the larger it is, the more the person reports attraction to the female form and the smaller the more the person reports attraction to the female form. From experiments on mice, we can see a distinct effect of adding or blocking testosterone when this part is developing in behavior.



So we are so much more complex that most people learn in grade school biology.
I am mildly intersex with a "grade 2" partial androgen insensitivity (PAIS). This is related to a mutation of the AR gene that encodes the chemical form of cellular androgen receptors. So as a grade 2 PAIS, I have only minor genital anomalies but I do have a very feminine skeleton. I have all of the prepuberty female skeleton traits and minor masculinization traits from puberty on. Mostly just large bone size and a few male changes to my skull. My feeling odd my whole life got me to doing research into this all. I guess for me, understanding what happens was just something I needed to do.  :)
04/26/2018 bi-lateral orchiectomy

A lifetime of depression and repressed emotions is nothing more than existence. I for one want to live now not just exist!


Offline Vea1996

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Re: Strong Indicators I was Born Intersex...Need Some Help Please!
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2019, 05:05:15 pm »
Hello Vea, thank you for sharing your story with us.

In researching hormones I found a number of indications that certain non-human progestin drugs would cause partial masculinization of female fetus. Exactly like you have read, enlarged clitoris appearing more penile like and fused labia. Because fetal development is so complex, many things can "go askew" and change the development. Genes and chromosomes only provide the program for development. Few people realize that chromosomes do not determine sex. The genes set the stage for a complex cascade of chemical signals and cell signal receptors that all must come together to develop our sex, gender, and sexuality.

Synthetic progestins can trigger activation of cellular androgen (male hormone) receptors. Its the activation of these cell receptors that changes many developmental traits from nature's default of female to male traits. If it helps to understand what happens when we all begin;

Normally,
the Y chromosome has one gene that selects a male. This is called the SRY gene.
The SRY gene encodes a protein called TDF (testes determining factor)
The TDF protein is sensed by a receptor in the proto-gonads encoded by a gene called SOX9.
IF the gonad cells detect TDF, they will form the first type of teste cell and produce another hormone called AMH (anti Mullerian hormone).
IF the other cells in the gonad detect AMH, then these will form a second teste cell and produce the male hormone testosterone.

Male selection must happen around 6-7 weeks. If TDF is not detected at 12 weeks the gonads will begin to form ovarian cells.

We all start with 2 sets of reproductive structures called ducts. The Mullerian ducts will form female internal organs. The Wolffian ducts will form male internal organs.
Wolffian ducts will only grow if testosterone is present. Opposite of that, Mullerian ducts will grow by default unless AMH is present.

Here is the divide. SRY gene = testes = growth of male, inhibition of female growth. Normally anyway.

The external genitals require a more powerful male hormone called DHT (dihydrotestosterone) to form male parts. DHT is made by combining an enzyme with testosterone. Some people do not produce this enzyme so a normal genetic male child can be born with fully appearing female genitals. Here is where the synthetic progestin medication call also trigger this change. From what I have read, the progestin meds only partially masculinize the genitals as they do not trigger the cell receptors as potently as DHT does.

So all of what I typed above is just what it takes to form our sexual organs. By speaking with doctors I have learned that certain skeletal traits are set early in the first trimester as well. The shape of the joint of the pelvic bones (ilium to the sacrum) and the flare outward of the iliac crest are changed by triggering androgen receptors, as are the angle of the knee and elbow joints. These skeletal differences are not visible early in life as the other pelvic bones have not fused but if you look closely the basic pattern of knee joint angle differences are usually visible between boys and girls long before the age of puberty.
There are about a dozen known "sexually dimorphic" regions in the brain. Somewhere in these small differences lies the deep instinctual differences between the average male and female. These changes take place over some time in the second trimester when the brain is growing rapidly. These differences are also triggered by testosterone levels.
Then we also know that one area of the hypothalamus s changed later in the third trimester. We know that the size and neural density of this one part corresponds to a person's sexual attraction. We don't know how the differences in measured values makes this happen but we know the larger it is, the more the person reports attraction to the female form and the smaller the more the person reports attraction to the female form. From experiments on mice, we can see a distinct effect of adding or blocking testosterone when this part is developing in behavior.



So we are so much more complex that most people learn in grade school biology.
I am mildly intersex with a "grade 2" partial androgen insensitivity (PAIS). This is related to a mutation of the AR gene that encodes the chemical form of cellular androgen receptors. So as a grade 2 PAIS, I have only minor genital anomalies but I do have a very feminine skeleton. I have all of the prepuberty female skeleton traits and minor masculinization traits from puberty on. Mostly just large bone size and a few male changes to my skull. My feeling odd my whole life got me to doing research into this all. I guess for me, understanding what happens was just something I needed to do.  :)

Thank you so much for the detailed write up! I'm trying to gather as much info as I can so, in the event that I can get a gyno appointment, I'll be informed. Again, for all I know, maybe my mom is just ridiculously phobic. But the possibility of PIV or something similar or something I still want to investigate. I wanted to ask, have you ever had any experience with requesting birth records, if you don't mind me asking? I want to request mine and see if there's any information about possible surgery, but I'm not sure how easy it is to get access to records that details that kind of stuff. Legally speaking, the surgeries shouldn't be happening in the USA, so I've heard a lot of stories of doctors trying to cover their tracks...

Thanks again,
Vea

Offline josie76

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Re: Strong Indicators I was Born Intersex...Need Some Help Please!
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2019, 05:08:46 pm »
Birth records are notoriously hard to find. In my state of Illinois, hospitals only have to keep records 10 years by law. I tried to get any info from the hospital I was born at but they don't even have record of my tonsils being removed there anymore.
04/26/2018 bi-lateral orchiectomy

A lifetime of depression and repressed emotions is nothing more than existence. I for one want to live now not just exist!


Offline Vea1996

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Re: Strong Indicators I was Born Intersex...Need Some Help Please!
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2019, 06:00:06 pm »
Birth records are notoriously hard to find. In my state of Illinois, hospitals only have to keep records 10 years by law. I tried to get any info from the hospital I was born at but they don't even have record of my tonsils being removed there anymore.

Oh...rats. Thanks for letting me know. I just called the hospital I was born at and they only keep birth records for 15 years unless I was a continuing patient. I wasn't really. Only went for an appointment for ehlers danlos there once when I was 8 or 9. So it's a very very long long shot. So I'm hoping a gyno appointment could help...or maybe at least get a doctor who would be interested in helping me figure out what's going on. I could ask my pediatrician. He'd been my pediatrician since birth. But, honestly, I really don't know who I can trust about this...could be worth asking though.

Offline Vea1996

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Re: Strong Indicators I was Born Intersex...Need Some Help Please!
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2019, 07:08:02 pm »
Vea, just relax, being intersex is not the end of the world, ne just has to learn to live with it.  One important thing is, nobody needs to know what you are, as long as you do not have a romantic relation.  Considering your home and how homophobic your mother is, I wouldn't even talk with her about your feelings.  If you need an outlet, come here and you always find a shoulder to lean on. And we might even be able to give you advise that is valuable for you!
I don't know if you plan to move out of your home (college?), but once you have a chance, talk with a doctor about yourself and see what the doc, can do.  Some testing is not as complicated, while others is very expensive and involved (genome analysis).
Read through the link I gave you, and see if conditions would apply to you, the link has pretty much anything that is considered to belong to the intersex spectrum.
Find a local LGBTQI group and see if they can help you along.  Just hang in there, you came to the right place and we try to help you.
I am sure pretty soon some other members will come along, who can give you different advise!

Just hang in there! ( did it for many years, and most of the time I had a pretty good live.  You will be able to have a similar good life!)
Hugs
Linde

Thank you so much for the positive words and support. It really means a lot. Since accessing my birth records doesn't seem like an option, I might have to ask my family pediatrician. He's been my doctor since birth. So, as long as he's honest, he could be a good source of answers.

And yeah, I'm trying to just get on with things and go about things day to day as normally as possible. Like I've said, I don't know for sure and am still very much in the investigation stage. I'm just going off of how bizarre my upbringing was and some physical things. I'm lucky that the community college I go to has some very supportive people there who have been helping me with this.

And I am glad that this forum exists. The internet has opened up so many doors of acceptance for minority groups...

And yeah, that link you posted was actually the first place I found PIV detailed and realized it fit a lot of things for me! I'm just hoping any doctor I approach will also know about it even though it's more obscure...

Thanks again, and I hope things are going well on your end!  :)

-Vea

Offline Maid Marion

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Re: Strong Indicators I was Born Intersex...Need Some Help Please!
« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2019, 07:41:33 pm »
You may want to try to track down a doctor with a special interest in intersex to help you out.  Everyone has their favorite areas of interest.  Last time I talked with a student intern he had an interest in rashes, so we talked about Poison Ivy!

Offline Linde

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Re: Strong Indicators I was Born Intersex...Need Some Help Please!
« Reply #10 on: February 28, 2019, 08:12:29 pm »

Thanks again, and I hope things are going well on your end!  :)

-Vea
Yes thanks, everything is moving pretty peachy for me.  Just had the first surgery to get the bottom part of my body back into the shape it used to be!

You will do fine, too.  It is a little overwhelming in the beginning, but you have to look at it as a kind of an adventure, and it will be fun discovering yourself!

Hugs
Linde
Feb 2019, bi-lateral orchiectomy
June 10, 2019 Not enough Y chr detected to be male