Activism and Politics > Discrimination

Help getting personal info from transphobic parents

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Need help dealing with trying to get personal information like passport social security card and all that info from very telephonic parents. They are using the info as leverage against me and my sister. They literally told me that i have pass as a guy for five years and throw away my girl wardrobe and buy a new phone and not show any signs at all of dressing as a girl. They do the same thing to my sister who only dates transgender community members. She literally has to go five years without associating with anyone in the lgbt q community to get her personal info from them. My parent literally have forced to be unhappy, alone, and to be asexual our whole lives because of there hatred for the lgbtq community. Any advice on how to deal with awhile like this would be greatly appreciated.

Ann W:
Since you mention a social security card, I'm assuming you're American; I'm also assuming you're of legal age.

You could simply contact the appropriate government offices, tell them your parents won't give these documents to you and you're finding it difficult to get along without them. For example, a social security card is required to get a job.

Or, you could raise the stakes and turn the tables on them; tell your parents that if they won't hand over the documents you're going to the Social Security / Passport office and report them stolen -- by them. That won't endear you to your parents, but it ought to shake their tree. They need to learn, sooner or later, that they are not in control of your life. But be prepared for them to go ballistic.

If you are 18 or over, those documents legally belong to you. Go to your local police and report them stolen so you have a police report. The police will politely ask them to hand them over and if not they could get arrested. Make sure you have a recording or something in writing like an E-MAIL or a witness as they will help your case.

I would be going for duplicate information from which ever govt agency hold it explain that the documents are lost. I would bypass them all together as their demands are unreasonable. The documents do not belong to them and it is unlikely that unless you are a minor they can withhold them from you.

Its a tough situation and families are never easy.

Good Luck


If you have a drivers license, go to the local social security office and request a duplicate. You can get dupes no charge.

If you do not have your birth certificate, fill out the form for a new certified copy from whatever state you were born in. Usually runs around $20 or so.

Once you have those two pieces of paper, there is no documents you can’t obtain on your own.

Or my favorite, have a lawyer serve a demand letter to them.


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