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recently found out that my partner is trans mtf

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JanePlain:

--- Quote from: Emerald24 on January 09, 2020, 06:39:57 pm ---thanks but i did post a few comments ago that we were experimenting with strap ons :D i've gotten quite good at it (not to toot my own horn :D ) we still do it both ways it just depends what mood we are in and how much time we have, also the subject of experimenting with other people has been firmly shelved and she knows my feeling on the subject, she realises that i am 99% sure i will never be ok with it but i i ever am she will be the first to know and she is ok with that

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Ha!  I had a very odd mental picture when I read about tooting your own horn and strapon sex. I think that society is a little less horrible and technology is a bit better in this world. I have to say that what they can do with silicone is a real art.  And if for no other reason you want variety its a couple clicks away on sites like the Smitten Kitten etc. Anyway thanks again for posting a positive experience. I think its difficult and embarrassing to talk about the intimate aspects of relationship stuff with all the baggage that seems to get dumped on us and maybe your experiences will make it easier (possible)

Emerald24:
i will have to check out smitten kitten i used lovehoney myself as they had a harness that was basically just a pair of strong y fronts with an o ring in as i did not like the look of the ones with leather straps (looked a bit like wedgie torture) and omg i did not think of that when i said tooting my own horn  :icon_lol: I'm happy it has worked out for us so far and that i can post a good update for any of those who might be in the same situation i was to see light at the end of the tunnel

JanePlain:

--- Quote from: Emerald24 on January 13, 2020, 06:49:54 pm ---i will have to check out smitten kitten i used lovehoney myself as they had a harness that was basically just a pair of strong y fronts with an o ring in as i did not like the look of the ones with leather straps (looked a bit like wedgie torture) and omg i did not think of that when i said tooting my own horn  :icon_lol: I'm happy it has worked out for us so far and that i can post a good update for any of those who might be in the same situation i was to see light at the end of the tunnel

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Smitten Kitten is a local place in Minneapolis.  They are the non "yuck" adult store.  They do some classes and its just a nice well lit not freaky weird place that we like. They do mail order (I think) maybe someone can google them?

The fabric ones are great.  Leather is ummmm a little better but maybe thats just me being a little more on the edge. One tip about leather (At least the ones we have) unlike fabric ones that you can just cinch up in 3 seconds the leather ones need some time to get everything right. Once you've got it adjusted you can slip it on and off without lots of fumbling around. Laughter in the bedroom is all well and good but in this particular case I like to be able to strap it on without having to turn the lights on and fumble around with it for too long.  I also vote for the two strap rather then the one strap thong style.  The people who design the actual dildo seem to be obsessed with length (which can be very uncomfortable)  Girth is where its at (We think) so don't go insanely huge porn star sizes. 

Which btw where do they find these men in porn movies that are so crazy huge?

Emerald24:
i have no idea although i guess men with larger parts may be inclined to want to show them off so are more likely to go into that industry? hypothetical idea i dont really know where they find them, honestly i find the idea of a huge willy off-putting as it seems like it would just hurt. i tried to find smitten kitten but no luck, im in the uk so i assume even if they did ship the shipping would be a lot. i think with regards to the leather i am a larger lady, not obese but i do have a tummy overhang from where the baby bump skin never went back to normal so i cant see how the straps would fit comfortably, they often dont show the harnesses on bigger girls and if they do they are big but dont have saggy stretch mark bellies  :(  however i think the nice thing about having the fabric of a pair of pants is that you can pop a small toy in for yourself and the pants hold it in place :D     this thread is getting rather TMI isn't it :D it is fun though to be with someone 11 years and just now be finding new ways to have fun with one another

JanePlain:
I think it crosses the line if your sending graphic pix or getting too pervy about getting intimate.  I do think a rational adult conversation about ways to be intimate are important.  I try to imagine your situiation and how it could be goofed up by something as simple as thinking there are no options in the bedroom.  I mean SRS doesn't mean you have to swear off PIV sex.  And for some that are partway into transition you can do something without "it" being a bad reminder.  Someone said it all better but I think the physical dysphoria for some is the largest issue they deal with.  And for others its not important at all.  Presentation being the thing. 

I don't know if Asian Leather is still around but they make most harnesses for larger girls.  If you have extra strap hangling loose its good for pulling your sweetie closer.

Your in the UK?  One thing we buy that we don't mind extra shipping is YES which is maybe the best vaginal lubricant treatment.  No nasty chemicals and you can use it regularly every other day and your always good to go.  Its nice to not have to worry about painful intercourse.  Some of the lubes sold are so bad its like they package industrial waste.  Yes is owned by two ladies that want something thats good for you and helps to maintain lubrication.

I'm not sure links are allowed but if not just google yes yes yes.   If links are ok https://www.yesyesyes.org/why-yes/  They make lubricant for anal sex as well. 

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