Author Topic: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf  (Read 630 times)

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Offline Emerald24

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recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« on: March 10, 2019, 09:11:23 pm »
hello disclaimer that there will be some sensitive material or talk of a sexual nature in this post. thankyou for anyone who takes the time to read this, its my first time reaching out to anyone for help with this and my brain is such a muddle i know this will be a messy ramble so please bear with me

my partner of 10 years told me a month ago that he believes he would be happier as a woman and identifies as bisexual, i say he because he is still identifying as male for the most part at the moment and i say believes because i dont think he is even sure. he keeps flip flopping between what he wants and what is easiest and if it is really worth it, he doesn't want to loose me or our 6yr old son and is worried he wont pass as a woman and will be bullied for it for the rest of his life as he has always been quite vain and cared a lot about what others think of him often worrying about the opinion of strangers over what the people he cares about tell him. however he has been dressing up at home when our son is asleep, talking to other trans people, created a female FB account and has gone to the doctors to get the ball rolling

i found out when one day about a month ago he said he would like to try dressing up as a woman again ( a few years ago he wanted to play dress up role reversal purely in the bedroom for about a week then it all stopped but he kept the stuff in a draw) i said that was fine and he dressed up for the night and we had some fun and i thought no more of it till the next day we were going out shopping and he was still wearing ladies underwear. i realised this wasn't a bedroom thing and was more than that and the next day i asked him "is this a fetish or are you transgender" and he told me he felt like he really was a woman and wanted to transition, i went up to the bedroom and cried for a while as i wasn't really expecting it and it was a shock. i started thinking about it as rationally as i could and came to the conclusion that i loved him unconditionally as long as he was still the same person regardless of what body he was in and although I'm not bisexual I'm more attracted to the personality then the look anyway so i went back down and told him this. i said i would do everything in my power to help and support him as long as his personality didn't change so much that he wasn't anything like himself any more and under the condition that we take it slow so i can adjust and he said this was fine and seemed really happy that he wouldn't loose me and that he could take steps to becoming a woman.

however the very next day he asked about the possibility of a threesome in the future because he had a fantasy of giving a man a blow job, he even suggested him finding someone to experience it with to get it out of his system without me, he acted like i should accept that information as well as i did the information that he was transgender. i dont think he would have ever said anything like that to me before all of this as i am a tad overweight and quite insecure about how i look but he knew this and always used to try his best to make me feel like the only woman in the world for him. after that he started to talk about wanting to go out to a trans friendly night club to meet some people like him, he wanted to wear a short dress and a thong and didn't want me to come with him. all of this made me incredibly insecure and left me feeling like i could never fully please him and i wasn't what he wanted any more and as we are both geeky stay at home gamers the idea of him in a night club was totally alien to how i normally view him. i told him how i felt about a week in and although he seemed to understand why i was upset he seems to resent me now for telling him that if we were to stay together he had to be happy with only ever being with me sexually.
 
i should point out that he stated at the beginning  that he felt no dysphoria in regards to his penis and would like to still be able to use it after transitioning although he understands it will shrink and may not work but he said he still is attracted to me and women in general and the thought of our sex life in whatever form it takes

however from day 1 he stopped doing any of the things he used to do to show his attraction towards me, he would always grab my bum if i bent over or raise an eyebrow at a suggestive comment, i had a low libido so if i even hinted i was in the mood he would jump on me. now the only time he has got excited naturally is when he asks if i could use a vibrator (mine) on him (i dont mind doing this), we have had sex together a few times but it is always soon after me voicing my displeasure for our lack of intimacy and feels very forced on his behalf even with him asking "was that ok?" or "is that what you wanted?" after the act, he is clearly doing it to keep me happy rather than because he wants to and that is what is driving me mad. his sudden change of personality from dominant to submissive and complete lack of attraction to me are to much for me to bear coupled with the knowledge of his fantasies. i told him i like it when he grabs my bum because it makes me feel appreciated and affirms that he still wants me. he said he didn't want to do it any more as it wasn't something women did, i then reminded him that i have always grabbed his bum too and he just looked annoyed, all the things he says he doesn't like about himself because its not feminine are things i have or i do and it makes me fell like less of a woman and very unattractive in his eyes.

i am very aware that he is discovering who he is right now and i would understand the lack of libido if only i didn't know about his fantasies and the fact that he can want to play with toys and masturbate but want nothing to do with me in yet still say he is attracted to me as much as he was before
i dont know if his lack of desire for me and fantasies are something that just come with the initial figuring out who he is phase and will pass and if he is telling the truth when he says he is still attracted to me and still loves me or if he is staying with me because i am familiar and comforting and its easier but then he is going to transition and up and leave me for a man. i have told him this and he just gets angry at me for not trusting him. he says he understands my point of view but i feel like he barely listens to it because he will ask what he can do to make me happy then never do any of the things i have suggested even though i spend most my time these days doing things to make him happy like looking up info about transitioning, booking drs appts and going with him for support, waxing his legs, finding where to buy clothes and wigs etc, it feels like i am doing all the hard work supporting him and being understanding but getting nothing in return and its making me snap at him over little things that dont matter.

are we doomed or does this sound at all familiar to anyone who is still in a relationship with their mtf spouse? what would you do if you were me? any help appreciated and thankyou for anyone who took the time to read all of this ramble

Online Alaskan Danielle

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Re: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2019, 09:16:11 pm »
@Emerald24 
Dear Emerald:
     I am so very glad that you have become a member here and that you found the Susan's Place Forums.

    As you continue to post on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are.   I expect that you will be getting many members offering their thoughts and suggestions as you continue to post here. 

    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation and as you continue to feel free to share with all of us.
 
    I also want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
   
    I have attached important and informative LINKS that will help you to navigate around the Forums and will allow you to enjoy the features here.     
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle


Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 
Things that you should read

Online Alaskan Danielle

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Re: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2019, 09:19:55 pm »
@Emerald24   
Oh, and another thing Emerald...
Please plan to write a post and tell us more about yourself in the Introductions Forum so that other members will be aware of your arrival... therefore you will be able to share your thoughts with more members here.
     
Thank you again for joining Susan's Place and being involved in the Forums here.
Best wishes to you,
Danielle

NOTE: Now after all of this Greeting Stuff I will let yoou have this thread back so that the exchange of conversation, thoughts and questions can continue.
Other members here will certainly be along to give you their comments and suggestions that you may be seeking

Offline Ann W

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Re: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2019, 09:46:47 pm »
Hi, Emerald, and welcome.

Almost anyone will tell you that when someone is considering whether or not they are transgender it is important to have a qualified gender therapist in the loop. You and your partner can find someone near you here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/transgender

If I may be bold, I would encourage your partner to select someone with general qualifications as well as expertise in this area; and I would think about you also seeing him or her, either separately or together. Your concerns are valid, and your pain is real. This affects you profoundly as well, and you need someone knowledgeable whom you can trust with whom to discuss your side of this, for your own sake as well as the sake of your relationship.

I wanted to tell you, in passing, that I know personally of a couple who stayed together successfully following a male-to-female transition, although the wife was not lesbian. It was, as you say, love of the person that was important to her. So, it can be done.

P.S. There is also at least one subreddit at reddit.com devoted to your situation; here is the link:

https://www.reddit.com/r/mypartneristrans/

Online Dena

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Re: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2019, 09:53:35 pm »
Welcome to Susan's Place. While you have provided a good deal of information, there are still a lot of unanswered questions. It is possible for a person not to feel dysphoria or at least not understand what they are feeling is dysphoria. Another possibility is that they could be non binary where they are a mix of both genders. If you look at our our WIKI you will see how varied our population can be.

In either case, I would suggest a visit to a gender therapist where your partners feelings can be explored and both of you can determine how your relationship will be redefined.
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Offline Dietlind

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Re: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2019, 11:56:19 pm »
I, too would strongly recommend the help of a professional.  It is not all hat common that being trans is used as reason for sexual adventures.
Gender identity and sex are two pair of shoes.  For me, and that is my opinion, dressing up in a thong, and going in a miniskirt into a tans bar has almost the flair of a fetish.  Or the threesome desire, in my eyes it is also a fetish.

I definitely feel that professional help is required!

Good luck for the two of you!







Offline Emerald24

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Re: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« Reply #6 on: March 11, 2019, 06:29:35 am »
thankyou all i must say i think i left out a lot about how he feels. I'm no expert of course but i know that although he says he feels no dysphoria regarding his genitals he does wish they were smaller, he is disgusted by his chest being flat, goes above and beyond to remove all his hair, his muscles make him sad, he takes pictures with a snapchat filter to try and make his chin appear shorter and has been growing his hair out. he has also always wanted to fill a more female stereotypical role, he wanted children and i didn't when we met, he is a stay at home dad and takes care of the house (with a part time cleaning job he recently started) his ambition is to start HRT and eventually if possible funds wise (or nhs if possible) to get FFS, breast augmentation and facial hair removal if he still feels he needs it after hrt for a few years.

i realise his need to talk to a specialist to determine if he is in fact transgender but i hope these details help as i realise i made it sound like this last month has purely been about sex and fetishes when we have spent a lot of time talking about getting married as wife and wife, changing his name, going clothes and makeup shopping together, how we will tell other people about all this etc. its been about 4 times over the last month that we have talked about anything sexual only twice done anything sexual regarding his newfound tastes as he is still unsure about what he likes and what makes  him feel uncomfortable, i guess its just my biggest issue as my biggest fear is loosing him

its not all been doom and gloom it was just that particular part of it i needed help with.
thankyou for all the kind replies

Offline Sylvia

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Re: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« Reply #7 on: March 11, 2019, 06:51:56 am »
Hi Emerald, I'm a SO of an MTF whose world was turned upside down a couple of years ago. We are still working through things. He's been on hormones for 9 months, and has developed quite obvious breasts - like your husband, he hates the flat chest and body hair, but doesn't have genital dysphoria at all. However, he hasn't taken on any 'female roles' (although we've always shared household/child rearing roles anyway), doesn't intend to come out publicly and has no interest in changing his name or pronouns. I guess he's more gender fluid than 100% female.

Some of what you've mentioned does sound a bit fetishist - which I think is quite a common thing in the early days of figuring out what it is he actually is. I don't think it lasts - he is experimenting with his feelings and his sexuality. Like others have said, a good therapist should help with that. My partner (UK too) went to GenderGP privately, as to get into the NHS system takes around 2 years. They have therapists.

Feel free to PM me (but you have to have made a few more posts on the forums before you can).

Sending love
Syl

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Re: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« Reply #8 on: March 11, 2019, 08:09:41 am »
I don't want to bring anyone down. I read a lot in the original post that I didn't like. To me these things don't spring out of nowhere with transition, they've been there and transition gave leeway to let them out.

I have curiosities
I have fantasies
I have certain unexplored desires.

along with that

I am monogamous
I love my wife

I would never pursue exploration of alternatives at my wife's expense, I cannot even fathom it. To be clear, she did suggest that I probably should (more than once).  She is also monogamous, to investigate alternatives would mean that we'd be 'married friends only'. To ruin what we have is not an option for me.

I know that last line sounds odd considering that I dropped the T-bomb on her. One is about marital infidelity, the other is about who I am.

I know that this post isn't a lot of help in dealing with what you are facing. Truth is, I am as lost as you are in comprehending some of it.
I left the door open, only a few came through. such is my life.


Offline confusedfairy

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Re: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2019, 06:06:09 pm »
Hey!   I'm a cis person that's the ex spouse of a trans (mtf) spouse. 

On the sex subject: My spouse didn't express a desire to experiment sexually with other partners, however, did buy a dildo that I was expected to use to perform anal on her.  She also began to lose interest in penetration (claiming she never liked certain positions anyways- let the gaslighting begin, as this was certainly untrue.)

I ended up divorcing her because I couldn't take the emotional abuse and the fact that her loyalties to her sibling (the 'other person' emotionally, even if not physically) were stronger than to me.  It's a long story and is probably lurking in various places up here.  If not, find me on discord or pm me. 

I will say that a lot of what you are saying sounds like the I WANT IT NOW!! ME ME ME! That I experienced when my ex came out to me.  (If you talk to some of the trans folk on here, they sound like they were absolute angels with their spouses by comparison to mine.) 

What I would say you should remember: (and more can follow if you need.)
1. You are allowed to have feelings and respect too.  Feeling devastated/ widowed by this process is NORMAL.  I ended up divorced, but my understanding is that even the still married folks have a grieving period.  You will likely even be able to pinpoint the stages of grieving if you look for them.  If this helps any. 

2. The marriages that survive happily seem to feature a trans spouse that orients their transition on some level to accommodate their cis spouse.  That doesn't mean your spouse changes their body to accommodate you necessarily (remember, some trans folk are literally willing to die for this, and for all, it is a NEED), it just means they take your feelings into account in some fashion(something worked out with a therapist's help I suppose?  Never reached this point with my spouse because it was her way or the highway in too many other areas of our lives.) My guess is what form this takes will really vary. 

3. Warning! I have encountered, and have read stories of other cis spouses where the therapist is decidedly not empathetic to our feelings.  This is awful, given that even under the very best of marital conditions, this would be a serious adjustment to make.  I bluntly explained this to two different therapists and got agreement, that it can be difficult to find a therapist that understands the process of transition and the emotions involved (necessary, even for you), while still being empathetic to the cis spouse that just got hit by an emotional bus.  With my current therapist, I explained the situation and bluntly asked if he would feel comfortable/ could empathize with a cis spouse. 

4. Sexuality: remember: Your sex life shouldn't feature suffering.  There is a difference between  creativity/compromise to keep each other happy, and spending a lifetime feeling miserable and dissatisfied.  While I don't have data on this- I disagree with the notion that if you love your spouse enough, you sexuality will conform to their new body. 

5. There are plenty of marriages that survive this process.  Must go for now.  Feel free to PM me. 

Offline Mariah

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Re: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2019, 06:44:37 pm »
Emerald, welcome to Susans. I have been thinking about since last night what I was going to share with and tell you.  Despite knowing that my spouse was likely trans before we got married I still wasn't prepared when they came out as genderfluid to me. I can relate to many of your concerns especially since early on I was concerned by where the fast changes were going to lead them. If I wanted them to stop, then they would have however I wanted them to be happy so they could express themselves as they need too. I was definitely concerned though that their transition would take them away from me. Like with your spouse, my spouse has requested changes in the bedroom too. It's true that to a degree some of this was present before, now they are wanting to take that to an even new level. As Faith mentioned, this could be due to that they couldn't feel free to express or experiment with certain things before. My spouse hasn't asked for a threesome or anything like that lucky, however ithey are bi in the fist place. The fact is you need to look out for you first. You can't help if you haven't take care of yourself.

I know how mentally draining it is because it really took me time to get used to how they presenting and living now. I suppose I have gotten used to my spouse presenting female basically all the time.  Secondly, you need to set boundaries to allow your self mentally to be able to cope. I know for me that allowed me the time and space I needed to be able handle all the changes that were going on. There is no doubt you will see them try things at they try to figure what they need, however you need to take care of your needs to and make those needs known.

My spouse and I lucky have grown closer together than we were before instead of far apart. I can only hope yours does eventually. It's has been a lot of work though for that to happen. Some of that is give and take and allowing them to explore themselves. I was concerned they would lose interest in me as a result and they have been more interested in me since their transition. My spouse. like yours, didn't have any dysphoria in regards to their penis and mine is keeping  theirs.

In closing, you need to take care of yourself first and please yourself because trying to do otherwise is clearly not working and leaving you not happy at all. I can only hope things change for both of you and they grows closer to you eventually, however it sounds like the exact opposite is happening right now for you. You need to mentally prepare for that fact in case it happens, but I do hope they move closer to you eventually instead of further apart.
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Offline Moonflower

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Re: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2019, 04:41:23 am »
thankyou for anyone who takes the time to read this, its my first time reaching out to anyone for help with this and my brain is such a muddle i know this will be a messy ramble so please bear with me

Thanks Emerald for unmuddling your brain here. Many people read the posts here who are living through stories like yours, but keep their muddle to themselves. You are at the beginning of a journey that many readers can relate to and learn from.
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my partner of 10 years told me a month ago that he believes he would be happier as a woman

When my partner told me that he was trans, we explored together what that meant, other people's stories, resources, etc. I don't recall ever feeling like our partnership was threatened by his/her gender status, but my memory might be selective. Like you, I was more interested in continuing loving my partner than trying to find someone better for me.

I always felt securely loved, never threatened by the news, or afraid of the impending changes. My only fear was that more secrets might come to light.
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and identifies as bisexual, i say he because he is still identifying as male for the most part at the moment and i say believes because i dont think he is even sure. he keeps flip flopping between what he wants and what is easiest and if it is really worth it,

My partner continued to present as a male in public until one year after she retired. Not because she wasn't sure; she knew that her gender identity was Female since she was 4 years old. She felt overwhelming pressure to be a man, and she did her best to be one in public. She wanted to transition, but knew that it was too hard. But when she was retired for an entire year, suddenly she felt free to start expressing her true self publicly, and we're in the early stages of that now.
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he doesn't want to loose me or our 6yr old son and is worried he wont pass as a woman and will be bullied for it for the rest of his life as he has always been quite vain and cared a lot about what others think of him often worrying about the opinion of strangers over what the people he cares about tell him.

You represent your partner's thoughts and feelings well. You clearly understand the ambivalence and fear that he's feeling.
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however he has been dressing up at home when our son is asleep, talking to other trans people, created a female FB account and has gone to the doctors to get the ball rolling

I notice and appreciate the closeness between you two as you are aware of his efforts to sort out who he is and what to do about it.
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... he told me he felt like he really was a woman and wanted to transition, i went up to the bedroom and cried for a while as i wasn't really expecting it and it was a shock. i started thinking about it as rationally as i could and came to the conclusion that i loved him unconditionally as long as he was still the same person regardless of what body he was in and although I'm not bisexual I'm more attracted to the personality then the look anyway so i went back down and told him this. i said i would do everything in my power to help and support him as long as his personality didn't change so much that he wasn't anything like himself any more and under the condition that we take it slow so i can adjust and he said this was fine and seemed really happy that he wouldn't loose me and that he could take steps to becoming a woman.

Such a moving story! You are clearly attached to your partner. I thoroughly understand the part about being more attracted to the person than the body; the person is more important than the gender for me, too. Your pledge of support must have been so reassuring to him! Such a relief for you, too, to figure out what was important to you, and find a way to accommodate the news.
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however the very next day he asked about the possibility of a threesome in the future ... he seems to resent me now for telling him that if we were to stay together he had to be happy with only ever being with me sexually.

This part is over my head. What a challenge! What difficult feelings to sort out! You did great telling him what your limits are! He will have to decide whether to honestly honor your limit, shamelessly test it, accidentally cross it and regret that, deliberately disregard it...and only time will reveal what he will do. Such a difficult time for you. How can you divert your attention from worrying and feeling insecure, to focusing on your options and feeling strong?
 
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... from day 1 he stopped doing any of the things he used to do to show his attraction towards me ... we have had sex together a few times but it is always soon after me voicing my displeasure for our lack of intimacy and feels very forced on his behalf even with him asking "was that ok?" or "is that what you wanted?" after the act, he is clearly doing it to keep me happy rather than because he wants to and that is what is driving me mad... all the things he says he doesn't like about himself because its not feminine are things i have or i do and it makes me fell like less of a woman and very unattractive in his eyes...
Such a confusing time for you! If only you could actually get inside his head and see for sure what's going on! If only you could see into the future to find out how this will all work out! It will work out, you know, somehow, and perhaps in a way that you can't imagine, no matter how wild your imagination might get.

I hear you saying that his commitment to you and your monogamous relationship is very valuable to you, and you have a tendency to need a lot of reassurance. Own that. Feel proud of that. Make sure he knows that and remembers that.

I understand that most couples split during the early stages of transition as they find that they have different goals and targets and hopes and values. I am familiar with stories of women who ended the marriage because they want to continue the relationship that they thought they had. I haven't heard any stories about trans women leaving their miserable wives no matter how demanding or criticizing they became. A few marriages survive, like mine, and I'm working on identifying the distinguishing characteristics of marriages like mine. Any thoughts?
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... he will ask what he can do to make me happy then never do any of the things i have suggested

This makes me feel concerned. I am getting the idea that he was super attentive and eager to please, but now he is transitioning into a person who is inconsiderate? Is that right?
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 even though i spend most my time these days doing things to make him happy like looking up info about transitioning, booking drs appts and going with him for support, waxing his legs, finding where to buy clothes and wigs etc,

:) Aren't those great fun times?
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it feels like i am doing all the hard work supporting him and being understanding but getting nothing in return and its making me snap at him over little things that dont matter.

are we doomed or does this sound at all familiar to anyone who is still in a relationship with their mtf spouse? what would you do if you were me? any help appreciated and thankyou for anyone who took the time to read all of this ramble
I value most of my experience with counselors and therapists. So, I echo the advice:
Find a counselor!
You both could benefit from professional support. You might find one who will help the two of you stay together by giving you homework assignments that make all the difference, and you might find one who says you are doomed. You might find one who is perfect for you, and your partner might never find "the right one", or vice versa. All sorts of possibilities. All sorts of things to worry over.

In the meantime, your son is certainly aware of the tension, and needs a lot of reassurance now. Give him lots of special attention to distract yourself from wondering how this will all turn out. Give your worrying mind a break often by focusing on your precious son and his concerns.
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1999 married :icon_archery:
15 years ago I started discovering the woman hiding behind my husband's facade
Fall 2018 my baby's coming out full time! Hello BlueStar!  :icon_female:
BlueStar beginning HRT

Offline Emerald24

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Re: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« Reply #12 on: March 18, 2019, 12:58:28 pm »
thankyou for all the kind replies. to update for anyone else who comes here looking for answers to their own problems and for anyone wondering what has happened.

we seem to be in a better place. he seems decided now that he is a woman. we bought a couples toy and have had much laughs and fun trying it in the bedroom and just that seems to have made him happy with our sex life as he has gone back to doing all the things he did before, less so but i understand, however he no longer seems to be trying to please me at the expense of his own pleasure and we are back to enjoying each other in new and old ways.
he has stopped talking to other trans people on Facebook as the group he found was very opinionated and one member even messaged him warning him not to transition and telling him i would leave him for a man! very suspicious and weird. i think a lot of his fears and outbursts have been coming from there and what people have been saying to him unbeknownst to me. he decided we could go out together to trans friendly places in the future and meet others face to face however he did make a few friends he still messages and they seem nice.
we are waiting on advice from the doctor after the first appt as the doctor didn't really know what to do, we will try the nhs route however i have been looking into things like gendergp shared care etc and although we may struggle to afford it i have started saving for him. he seems happy at the moment to take it slow and try new things gradually.
he doesn't dress up as much but is growing his hair out and had his chest waxed professionally and that has made him happier.
overall the first few weeks were a storm of trying to understand each other and work around our feelings and going way to fast but now we are going along at a slow pace, waiting to see what happens with medical help whilst occasionally trying something new, we both play games together a lot and he has started playing as female characters and that is fun and helps him a lot.
to everyone who has suggested counselling i said that too but he is wary of it, he had it in the past although for unrelated reasons and ended up walking out after 1 visit as they were very rude to him acting like his problems were stupid and making out they couldn't help. i am hoping i can find someone but we cant afford private and you cant be picky with the nhs if you can even get one so we will have to see.

either way things seem to be looking up for us so fingers crossed and wish us luck. i will try to post an update every now and then to help any spouses who are in my position in the future

Offline Moonflower

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Re: recently found out that my partner is trans mtf
« Reply #13 on: April 15, 2019, 06:54:45 pm »
I've been away from Susan's for a while, but it's great to see your progress. You sound so much more peaceful!  Please keep us posted, both so we can continue along with your journey, and so silent readers can be inspired.

Wishing you well,
Grace
:icon_wave:
1999 married :icon_archery:
15 years ago I started discovering the woman hiding behind my husband's facade
Fall 2018 my baby's coming out full time! Hello BlueStar!  :icon_female:
BlueStar beginning HRT

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