Community Conversation > Intersex talk

Do you think of yourself as intersexed?

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Dr. McGinn said I am intersexed. It does explain a lot of differences. For example I am post op and my whole gland penis was used. My clitoris is small, very small. I have no labia minora from penile tissue as there was no penile tissue to use. There are other variations too.

Anyhow, I always felt I am a female. HRT and all the procedures I had ( all my GCS operations and procedures were ceded intersexed) did not make me feel intersexed or less intersexed. I just became more at ease with myself and my identity.

So I did not or do not feel intersexed. I have body ratios that are way off like arm to height and leg to torso ratios, others too. Having really long legs is ok as a lot of people comment on my long legs in a positive way.

So I do not consider myself intersexed. I consider myself transsexual but not intersexed. I think of it now as something that makes me unique but not the diagnosis. I am not profound intersexed so maybe that is part of it too.

I think of myself as a trans but not intersexed. I guess what I am saying is my identity is not intersexed. I have a set of physical attributes that collectively is called intersexed.

If Dr. McGinn did not do the three operations and 2 (will be 3) procedures I think I would have considered my outcome in a very negative light. Instead I love my equipment.  I fit my identity and my genital intersexed part is corrected ish.

Maid Marion:
AMAB but female clothes fit amazingly well on my hourglass figure.  Yes, I have nicely proportioned hips and my legs are slightly long for my size! I look really good in a crop top and short shorts! Since I'm too small to wear men's clothes I really have no choice if I want to look good.

My father had MPB but I'm in my mid 50s and the hair on my head still looks pretty good.  At my age a frizzy bad hair day is better than some of the alternatives!

I know that  I am intersex (I hate the term intersexed), because I have XX chromosomes, and not an Y near or far.  However, I was born with male genitalia, and have one ovary.  And XX and those genitals make me to be intersex.
I am in my mid 70's, and still have a full head of hair, no signs of any type of male hair loss.

If science figures that there is some sort of real physical difference in the brain of transsexual people then yes I am sure they will eventually class it as intersex.
If it is only a mental condition as someone mentioned then no it would not be defined under the intersex umbrella

I find a degree of comfort in the idea personally. Perhaps because it "explains" something, or perhaps because it just makes me feel less "trapped" in a female body to believe it's not fully female.
Whatever the case, I find comfort in the idea my body isn't entirely typically feminine or female and that my form instead lies somewhere in between.

I enjoy my androgynous features, I enjoy my natural virilisation and there's a degree of solace in the theory that the hormonal disorder I have could be determined as being a form of biochemical intersex condition.

Certainly my body has no idea how to do male or female, so it sits in the middle in a confused state of uncertainty. I don't produce hormones in approriate ratios or when I do the result isn't what you'd expect. For example my last blood test was "normal female levels" and yet i'm suffering very very badly from pretty extreme symptoms of imbalance that's simply not showing up in my blood. I'm also not having cycles that are at all normal. If my hormone levels were normal, I wouldn't be having mentral issues, I wouldn't be having the symptoms of estrogen dominance, I wouldn't be so sick. And yet I am because my body doesn't function the way medical science has decided bodies should.
My body isn't normal, which means that "normal" hormone levels for me are NOT normal. if that makes sense.

I don't know precisely what's wrong with me, just that something is and has been all my life. I've never had a normal experience with hormones since puberty, i've always had problems and always struggled. My body can't produce what it needs, it gets confused and then all hell breaks loose.

I do know that i'm XX, but that's about as much as I know genetically as from my understanding the testing they did never really went into much detail. However, the fact my specialist saw fit to test my chromosomes in the first place is curious, as they don't do that by standard and she got super strange about explaining WHY.
I'm still not totally sure what she saw that made her question my chromosomes. I assume some element of my virilisation had her wondering? Who knows.

thing is, I don't have high t. Never have. My t levels are LOW, even for a woman. And yet I have virilisation, so what is that about? I mean how does that even make sense?

I remember when I hit puberty it was a confusing mess. I got periods but I also started to grow body and facial hair. I got the serious sweat issues teen boys get too. I sorta got a double whammy of BOTH and it was wierd but at the time I had no frame of reference and assumed everyone went through that.
But no, generally speaking, girls don't grow facial hair at puberty. Especially not girls with LOW testosterone in their systems.
One theory is that i'm actually extremely sensitive to sex hormones in general and so even the teensy tiny amount of t in my system is "enough" but we've never confirmed that.

So yeah, whether it's true or not, I find comfort in believing myself to sit somewhere in the middle. I mean, i'm certain i'm not a biologically "normal" or "standard" female, if I was I wouldn't have such problems. Leaving my brain and gender identity out of it and just looking at it from a purely biological and scientific perspective, this body is NOT normal and there's something wierd about it.

I suppose it all just comes down to semantics and how you define "intersex". But certainly in my mind, my body isn't really fully female and I find that reassuring. I think i'd be a lot more dysphoric if it was. My hormonal issues SUCK but the virilisation is awesome and helps a LOT. I'd just like to not be in pain anymore, because sadly the imbalance causes me a LOT of pain.

Is it strange that I honestly hope they find something that confirms this "not really female" theory? Because I do, I really do. Every time they find something and tell me it's "normal female" I feel a twinge of disappointment and dismay.

I suppose I just prefer to think of myself as having a not entirely female body. All the little not totally female elements make me feel better. I have remnants of the male duct system for example, which isn't that uncommon but delighted me to find out. Being told "yeah you have some of the male duct system, it didn't dissolve like it was supposed to" made it feel I suppose like I had something MALE inside of me, part of me. It felt right and good and correct. When I get told "you have male pattern hair growth" I sorta cheer inside.
It affirms my gender identity I suppose.

so yeah, I take comfort in it.

It helps me to think of my body as not totally female.


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