Author Topic: New to world.  (Read 321 times)

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Offline Gabriela

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New to world.
« on: March 18, 2019, 09:58:08 am »
Hello to everyone. My name is Gabriela. I'm from Chile and I want to participate on this community that it have been helpful to me when I started to research what is happening to me.
I came out recently as a transgender woman, but just to my therapist. The past few months it have been hard to admit things to me and to my therapist. Moving from complete shame (for wearing woman's clothes when i'm alone) to loving myself and recognise that i'm a woman.
One week after I went for the first time to my therapist, I told to my wife that I had some "transgender issues" (I didn't know well my condition back then or what was happening to me) and she dind't take it very well (We've been together over 10 years, 3 years married). However, months have passed and she is still with me because I didn't take it too far, but now I want to tell her that  I have to transition and become a woman, that I'm transgender woman. I getting depressed every day living as someone who i'm not, but I'm too afraid of her reaction, of her tears, of her pain. I want to be with her forever but I know that she won't be with me if I transition. Now, I focus on getting the strength to be able to tell her how I feel and hope for the best outcome.
That's the short version story. I hope to participate on this forum and get to know you all.
By the way, sorry for my english, I'm a spanish speaker!!
Greetings!


Offline Alaskan Danielle

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Re: New to world.
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2019, 11:15:53 am »
Hello to everyone. My name is Gabriela. I'm from Chile and I want to participate on this community that it have been helpful to me when I started to research what is happening to me.
I came out recently as a transgender woman, but just to my therapist. The past few months it have been hard to admit things to me and to my therapist. Moving from complete shame (for wearing woman's clothes when i'm alone) to loving myself and recognise that i'm a woman.
One week after I went for the first time to my therapist, I told to my wife that I had some "transgender issues" (I didn't know well my condition back then or what was happening to me) and she dind't take it very well (We've been together over 10 years, 3 years married). However, months have passed and she is still with me because I didn't take it too far, but now I want to tell her that  I have to transition and become a woman, that I'm transgender woman. I getting depressed every day living as someone who i'm not, but I'm too afraid of her reaction, of her tears, of her pain. I want to be with her forever but I know that she won't be with me if I transition. Now, I focus on getting the strength to be able to tell her how I feel and hope for the best outcome.
That's the short version story. I hope to participate on this forum and get to know you all.
By the way, sorry for my english, I'm a spanish speaker!!
Greetings!

@Gabriela
Dear Gabriela:
     I am so very glad that you have become a member here and that you found the Susan's Place Forums.

    As you continue to post on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are.   I expect that you will be getting many members offering their thoughts and suggestions as you continue to post here. 

    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation and as you continue to feel free to share with all of us.
 
    I also want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
   
    I have attached important and informative LINKS that will help you to navigate around the Forums and will allow you to enjoy the features here.     
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle


Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 
Things that you should read

Offline Gabriela

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Re: New to world.
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2019, 12:17:42 pm »
@Gabriela
Dear Gabriela:
     I am so very glad that you have become a member here and that you found the Susan's Place Forums.

    As you continue to post on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are.   I expect that you will be getting many members offering their thoughts and suggestions as you continue to post here. 

    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation and as you continue to feel free to share with all of us.
 
    I also want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
   
    I have attached important and informative LINKS that will help you to navigate around the Forums and will allow you to enjoy the features here.     
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle


Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 
Things that you should read
Thank you Alaskan Danielle!! and I will look into de links :)
Bye

Offline Tribble

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Re: New to world.
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2019, 12:20:27 pm »
Hello to everyone. My name is Gabriela. I'm from Chile and I want to participate on this community that it have been helpful to me when I started to research what is happening to me.
I came out recently as a transgender woman, but just to my therapist. The past few months it have been hard to admit things to me and to my therapist. Moving from complete shame (for wearing woman's clothes when i'm alone) to loving myself and recognise that i'm a woman.
One week after I went for the first time to my therapist, I told to my wife that I had some "transgender issues" (I didn't know well my condition back then or what was happening to me) and she dind't take it very well (We've been together over 10 years, 3 years married). However, months have passed and she is still with me because I didn't take it too far, but now I want to tell her that  I have to transition and become a woman, that I'm transgender woman. I getting depressed every day living as someone who i'm not, but I'm too afraid of her reaction, of her tears, of her pain. I want to be with her forever but I know that she won't be with me if I transition. Now, I focus on getting the strength to be able to tell her how I feel and hope for the best outcome.
That's the short version story. I hope to participate on this forum and get to know you all.
By the way, sorry for my english, I'm a spanish speaker!!
Greetings!

Hi Gabriela!  Beautiful name. :)

I've always had a crush on Renee O'Connor, Gabriel from Xena.  :icon_redface:

Shame is a huge part of a lot of our stories and can be difficult to overcome.  I hope your therapist is sympathetic and is able to help you deal with those feelings.

Spouses and families are always difficult to predict when it comes to something like this.  I've read stories of spouses being apprehensive or even repulsed in the beginning and eventually turning around once seeing how happy their partner has become, but each journey and each relationship is different.  I'm afraid that there don't seem to be any predictors to help you with that, so a good therapist is a must.

Your English is certainly better than my Spanish and I had 10 years of Spanish classes!  I've retained almost none of it.
2003-2004 -- Gradual transition -- I didn't correct pronouns and people basically settled on the right ones on their own.
late 2004 -- Orchiectomy.
Late 2015 -- Stupidly saw the political climate and spurned on by my husband's request for a divorce I detransitioned.
2019 -- Rebuilding my wardrobe so I can retransition.  Turns out I cain't bury my true self, after all.  I call these last few years my failed experiment.  At least I found my true feelings were real.

Offline Gabriela

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Re: New to world.
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2019, 01:11:11 pm »
Hi Gabriela!  Beautiful name. :)

I've always had a crush on Renee O'Connor, Gabriel from Xena.  :icon_redface:

Shame is a huge part of a lot of our stories and can be difficult to overcome.  I hope your therapist is sympathetic and is able to help you deal with those feelings.

Spouses and families are always difficult to predict when it comes to something like this.  I've read stories of spouses being apprehensive or even repulsed in the beginning and eventually turning around once seeing how happy their partner has become, but each journey and each relationship is different.  I'm afraid that there don't seem to be any predictors to help you with that, so a good therapist is a must.

Your English is certainly better than my Spanish and I had 10 years of Spanish classes!  I've retained almost none of it.

Thank you for your comments, I like the name Gabriela too! that's why a I picked it. I know that relationships are nearly impossible to predict and I just hope for the best. Luckily, I feel blessed for the therapist that I'm seeing, she's the best, and above all I feel backed up for her :)
Bye!!

Offline V M

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Re: New to world.
« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2019, 01:37:00 pm »
Hi Gabriela  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS

 
- V M

Offline Gabriela

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Re: New to world.
« Reply #6 on: March 18, 2019, 02:50:02 pm »
Hi Gabriela  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M
Thank you V M!  I will enjoy it!
Bye! :)

MarshaJoy825

Re: New to world.
« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2019, 05:19:35 pm »
Hello Gabriela, 
     What courage for you to come here and write in English. You write very well. Please don't apologize for your English. I totally understand about your wife. It is quite the difficult place to be. We want to stay with our wives, but we feel a great need to be our real self. I do hope things do work out for you. This is a great place to be. If you ever need someone to chat with please feel free to PM me. You can write in Spanish (I can read it pretty well) but I will answer in English if that works for you.   Hugs, Marsha

Offline Gabriela

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Re: New to world.
« Reply #8 on: March 18, 2019, 06:52:14 pm »
Hello Gabriela, 
     What courage for you to come here and write in English. You write very well. Please don't apologize for your English. I totally understand about your wife. It is quite the difficult place to be. We want to stay with our wives, but we feel a great need to be our real self. I do hope things do work out for you. This is a great place to be. If you ever need someone to chat with please feel free to PM me. You can write in Spanish (I can read it pretty well) but I will answer in English if that works for you.   Hugs, Marsha
Thank you Marsha! I'm here because I like this forum, i was able to read a lot of stories and relate with a lot of them. Sadly I couldn't find something similar in spanish but I'm glad that's not a impediment to find a place like this.
And thank you for your offer to chat! I'll use it someday.
Bye!

Offline LizK

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Re: New to world.
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2019, 04:55:49 am »
Hi  Gabriela

Welcome to Susan's, Hope you enjoy your time here  :icon_wave-nerd:

There are lots of great people with valuable experiences and only too happy to share them with you.

Take care  ;D

LizK
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019

Offline Gabriela

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Re: New to world.
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2019, 06:46:15 am »
Hi  Gabriela

Welcome to Susan's, Hope you enjoy your time here  :icon_wave-nerd:

There are lots of great people with valuable experiences and only too happy to share them with you.

Take care  ;D

LizK

I hope to learn about your experiences!! Thank you LisK!
Bye!

Offline Sabrina Rei

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Re: New to world.
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2019, 08:17:02 am »
It’s awesome that you’re ready to share your journey with all of us here. my wife has known about me being transgender for almost ten years now though the severity of it was only revealed a little bit at a time. I know it’s hard to have that conversation and it doesn’t always go how we hope but it seems like you’ve done everything right so far. You’ll find a lot of other women here have had the same experience. I certainly learned from them how to best brash the topic of transition after having botched it so badly on my own the first time. Wishing you the best!

Offline Gabriela

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Re: New to world.
« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2019, 09:53:35 am »
It’s awesome that you’re ready to share your journey with all of us here. my wife has known about me being transgender for almost ten years now though the severity of it was only revealed a little bit at a time. I know it’s hard to have that conversation and it doesn’t always go how we hope but it seems like you’ve done everything right so far. You’ll find a lot of other women here have had the same experience. I certainly learned from them how to best brash the topic of transition after having botched it so badly on my own the first time. Wishing you the best!
Sabrina! love your name!, and I really want that my transition doesn't affect my relationship in any bad way. Thank you for your wishes!.
xoxo!

Offline tgirlamg

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Re: New to world.
« Reply #13 on: March 20, 2019, 11:36:37 am »
Welcome Gabriela!!!


Congrats on you brave steps forward towards expressing the truth inside you!!! There are amazing challenges, discoveries and rewards ahead!!!... you will find a wealth of experience here and we will be anxious to share your challenges and celebrate your victories!!!...

Move  forward with hope in your heart for there is much to be hopeful about... listen to your fears but don’t allow them to be the loudest voice in the considerations to come...

All shall be well 🤗🙏🌸

Onward We Go Little Sister!!!

Ashley 🙋‍♀️💕🌸
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

“The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself” ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,210798.1520.html

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: New to world.
« Reply #14 on: March 20, 2019, 01:56:49 pm »
Hi Gabriela nice to meet you and Welcome here  :)

Many knowledge and friendly folks here to be sure...

Coming out within a marriage is a big step, one certainly to take with care. Going slow, empathy for your mate's point of view, and listening are some of the keys. I transitioned and maintained my relationship with my wife of 34 years, honesty was a big part our longevity.

Wishing you the best of luck Gabriela...

Hugs

Cynthia -
there and back....

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