Author Topic: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed  (Read 591 times)

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Offline Michelledeanna1989

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De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« on: March 18, 2019, 07:07:21 pm »
I’ve been considering de transitioning for better employment opportunities
14 months on hrt I’m just shy of 30, I really would prefer to transition but
I feel I won’t get job. I’ve been working as a custodian the past
Few months but the company is extremely toxic so I issued my notice
I just don’t get offers like I did pre transition  no more then 3 and I’ll be hired
Now I’ve lost count of the amount of interviews I attend.  No one wants to hire me
No one asks for my references I’m the one that offers, my dad is extremely transphobic
He also I think is more honest then everyone else who tells me he is wrong
He says he has been in business long enough to know companies refuse to hire trans people
Even if it is against the law. Simply they don’t care.  So I’m starting to accept I am one of the
Minorities of people who simply don’t have a right to be themselves.

What is the process like coming off hormones I know I can except my
 My dysphoria to return. But hopefully I can get a decent job
Living my truth doesn’t matter if I can barley support myself

Offline JanePlain

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2019, 08:00:40 pm »
I'm not sure I know what to say but I can tell your hurting.  I hope something good happens for you soon!  Is it possible you could stay on HRT and find work?  I understand how having a place to live and food to eat can become more important then anything else. 

I was reading about someone who was quite brilliant and worked at IBM and they just went ape when she transitioned.  She had to move, start over and kept her having transitioned a secret.  I imagine that was a ton of stress.  And then it was a big step down in pay and probably not the most exciting work.  I'm just guessing but I think some of this is just the typical crappy treatment of women in general which is bad now but even worse in the 1970s when she was getting fired for being different by some IBM goon squad.  Now I see IBM makes a point of saying they don't discriminate (which might be true now) but how can you really tell?  Interviews and hiring is so random.  I only had to do hiring once and hated it.  Did the person have too many jobs?  As in not staying at a company more then a year?  That was a red flag but really its such a crap shoot.  I've always thought you have to know someone in the company to get a foot in and if the only people you know were when you were pretransition?

Anyhow - I was just going to say hang in there and good luck and then I just babble...  Hope things get better soon!

Online AnneK

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2019, 09:28:04 pm »
I worked for IBM in the late 90s and I got the impression they had a very tolerant attitude.  Of course, that could change with the manager, etc.  A few years ago, I started with one company, where the interviews were done over the phone, to minimize bias.  I never met anyone with the company in person, until I showed up to work.  I'm about to start a new position with a company that has a very inclusive policy.  I also worked at one company, many years ago, where one of the employees was MTF and went through the transition while remaining with the company.  Incidentally, I had applied with one company recently, where I knew the person doing the hiring was a trans female.  I had met her personally, on a few occasions.
I'm a 65 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

Started HRT April 17, 2019.

Offline JanePlain

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2019, 02:12:55 am »
I worked for IBM in the late 90s and I got the impression they had a very tolerant attitude.  Of course, that could change with the manager, etc.  A few years ago, I started with one company, where the interviews were done over the phone, to minimize bias.  I never met anyone with the company in person, until I showed up to work.  I'm about to start a new position with a company that has a very inclusive policy.  I also worked at one company, many years ago, where one of the employees was MTF and went through the transition while remaining with the company.  Incidentally, I had applied with one company recently, where I knew the person doing the hiring was a trans female.  I had met her personally, on a few occasions.

Thats great to hear.  I keep forgetting her name but she has an extensive web site that is very interesting reading.  Anyway I'm glad you posted. It does my heart good to hear that things really have changed.  I think a public transition at work could be a nightmare but Its been so long since I worked a "normal" 80 hour corporate gig I really have no clue.  Contracting and writing jobs don't require anyone to be accepting.  Oh crap its 2 AM again and I was going to go to bed early. 

Offline Dani

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2019, 05:44:10 am »
I’ve been considering de transitioning for better employment opportunities

I know a few people who are self employed and in transition. Her customers who need her services all said that they are only concerned about their business operations. She works in IT.

Unless we are independently wealthy, employment issues should be a major part of everybody's transition plan, not only during transition, but afterwards as well.

Quote
Even if it is against the law. Simply they don’t care. 

Enforcing your rights takes time and money. They know you have limited resources and they can always come up with another excuse. Many of us have delayed our transition until we are in a position where transition is possible from an economic standpoint.

Quote
What is the process like coming off hormones I know I can except my dysphoria to return.

Since you have been on HRT for almost a year, I expect you are just now beginning to show some changes. I also expect that your bodies own Testosterone production is now somewhat less than before transition. Most probably, you will not return to your previous state, but rather just pause where you are right now for a while anyway.

Think of this as just another thing on your "transition to do list". When you do interview for a new job, focus on your job skills, this is what employers really want to know.



Online AnneK

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2019, 06:01:20 am »
Quote
I keep forgetting her name but she has an extensive web site that is very interesting reading.

We must be thinking of different people.  I just did a search on her name.  There were a few hits, but none were her.
I'm a 65 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

Started HRT April 17, 2019.

Offline tgchar21

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2019, 10:07:26 am »
We must be thinking of different people.  I just did a search on her name.  There were a few hits, but none were her.

Are you talking about Lynn Conway?

Online AnneK

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2019, 10:27:25 am »
Are you talking about Lynn Conway?

No.  The person I'm referring to is Canadian and lives in the Toronto area.  She works with Linux.
I'm a 65 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

Started HRT April 17, 2019.

Offline JanePlain

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2019, 11:57:12 am »
Are you talking about Lynn Conway?

Yes that is her.  I can't believe I forgot the name because she was a pioneer.  She has a story that is well worth the read and I think has a lived happily ever after story which is truly inspiring. 

I should probably admit I've already got issues with IBM and its firing practices (A different associate)  Anyway thanks for coming up with Lynn's name.

Offline DawnOday

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2019, 12:51:40 pm »
So many times I read the same thing over and over. I am a ________ (read minimum skilled person). Forget about being transgender. You have set yourself up for failure. What sets one custodian apart from the next?  or waitress, or stock clerk. Not a whole lot to distinguish one from the next. Does not mean you are a bad person or even uneducated. You are not setting your sites high enough.  Here is the one thing all CEO's, company owners want. Profits. How can you help them increase profits. I spent 40 years in Materials Management because I found a niche that I fit even though I showed signs of autism. I learned to program mainframe reports. I created performance metrics. I learned to create SQL databases. In the process I saved the company millions of dollars. I am not writing this to brag. I am writing this to inspire because believe me, if I can do it, anyone with any sense of desire and conviction can do it. IF I were in your shoes I would not withhold transition. Transition should not be a factor in your employment. If you have mad skilz, it really does not matter if you are transgender.  My autism made it hard to understand me as my communication skills suck. But I made enough sense that I was the lone non-management member on most improvement teams. Eventually I was declared a Subject Matter Expert and allowed to work on one of the largest system implementations in the country costing over one billion dollars.  Here are a few links that can help. https://Lynda.com  https://mitonline.edu  https://udemy.com    Set yourself up for success regardless of your gender ID.  Good luck to you and your search both for a job and for yourself.

https://medium.freecodecamp.org/5-key-learnings-from-the-post-bootcamp-job-search-9a07468d2331
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:


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First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17




Offline Michelledeanna1989

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2019, 12:14:55 am »
Thanks everyone.  I talked to a close friend he made the point that even.
Though I am having a hard time I shouldn’t give up on myself. All of my friends have noticed i am
Happier and way more confident in myself.  Then this morning an interview I had at a health food store. Found out they are checking my references.  I have another that is at a local  burger place.
They are extremely trans friendly.  I’m trying to gain customer service experience so I can get a customer service job at one of the software companies in my area. Another friend told me if something is ment to be it will happen but don’t give up he said go for a walk on the beach u live a block aaeay.

Offline JanePlain

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2019, 01:51:08 am »
Yea!  Great news that things are turning around.

Offline JanePlain

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2019, 01:52:59 am »
So many times I read the same thing over and over. I am a ________ (read minimum skilled person). Forget about being transgender. You have set yourself up for failure. What sets one custodian apart from the next?  or waitress, or stock clerk. Not a whole lot to distinguish one from the next. Does not mean you are a bad person or even uneducated. You are not setting your sites high enough.  Here is the one thing all CEO's, company owners want. Profits. How can you help them increase profits. I spent 40 years in Materials Management because I found a niche that I fit even though I showed signs of autism. I learned to program mainframe reports. I created performance metrics. I learned to create SQL databases. In the process I saved the company millions of dollars. I am not writing this to brag. I am writing this to inspire because believe me, if I can do it, anyone with any sense of desire and conviction can do it. IF I were in your shoes I would not withhold transition. Transition should not be a factor in your employment. If you have mad skilz, it really does not matter if you are transgender.  My autism made it hard to understand me as my communication skills suck. But I made enough sense that I was the lone non-management member on most improvement teams. Eventually I was declared a Subject Matter Expert and allowed to work on one of the largest system implementations in the country costing over one billion dollars.  Here are a few links that can help. https://Lynda.com  https://mitonline.edu  https://udemy.com    Set yourself up for success regardless of your gender ID.  Good luck to you and your search both for a job and for yourself.

https://medium.freecodecamp.org/5-key-learnings-from-the-post-bootcamp-job-search-9a07468d2331

I looked at the offers and clearly I bailed out of the tech industry too soon.  Its the 80 hour weeks that I don't miss but?  Wow thats like a truck full of money.

Offline NatalieRene

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2019, 07:53:18 am »
I looked at the offers and clearly I bailed out of the tech industry too soon.  Its the 80 hour weeks that I don't miss but?  Wow thats like a truck full of money.

The tech industry has been mostly kind to me. $110,000 in Texas with 40 hour weeks.

Offline Michelledeanna1989

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2019, 06:47:18 pm »
The tech industry has been mostly kind to me. $110,000 in Texas with 40 hour weeks.


That’s awesome.
I’m keeping my hopes high I had
A great interview yesterday but I can’t
Help but worry. This job it’s in a reastrant sort
Of a local burger chain.   Gaining customer service experience
There’s a lot of tech companies around that pay extremely well for
Entry level $35000 cad then gradually it’s bright up to $45000 after 3 years
Or so.  Just need another years worth of experience to gain what I need to b
Of interest too then. I’m in a pretty lgbtq friendly city are mayor is a lesbian and
Was just re-elected a few months ago. My other option is moving back to the mainland to Vancouver BC or possibly Toronto but really cold and I can’t handle long winters

Offline NatalieRene

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2019, 07:31:45 pm »

That’s awesome.
I’m keeping my hopes high I had
A great interview yesterday but I can’t
Help but worry. This job it’s in a reastrant sort
Of a local burger chain.   Gaining customer service experience
There’s a lot of tech companies around that pay extremely well for
Entry level $35000 cad then gradually it’s bright up to $45000 after 3 years
Or so.  Just need another years worth of experience to gain what I need to b
Of interest too then. I’m in a pretty lgbtq friendly city are mayor is a lesbian and
Was just re-elected a few months ago. My other option is moving back to the mainland to Vancouver BC or possibly Toronto but really cold and I can’t handle long winters

When I started I was making $25 per hour and made about $1500 per two weeks after taxes with over time in Virginia.

Offline Michelledeanna1989

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #16 on: March 22, 2019, 12:16:54 am »
When I started I was making $25 per hour and made about $1500 per two weeks after taxes with over time in Virginia.



That’s very similar to British Columbia. 

Online AnneK

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #17 on: March 22, 2019, 06:02:24 am »
That’s very similar to British Columbia.

I'm starting a new job on Monday, near Toronto, working with telecom.  Starting at $80K salary and my office is 15 minutes from home.
I'm a 65 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

Started HRT April 17, 2019.

Offline JanePlain

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #18 on: March 24, 2019, 09:03:13 pm »
The tech industry has been mostly kind to me. $110,000 in Texas with 40 hour weeks.

Natalie... I know Its a sin but I'm soooo jealous.  Your life, your transition, everything!  You are living the dream girl!!

Offline NatalieRene

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Re: De transitioning to get a job and stay employed
« Reply #19 on: March 25, 2019, 06:50:35 am »
My life isn’t perfect JanePlane. My last job furloughed me the better programmer over three other men all of which had a fraction of my skill set. I know for a fact that they where all but one paid more and the one that was paid less was only by a few thousand dollars. My credit got destroyed because of the glass ceiling and the boys club.

However bad for that company two of them quit so the owner came crawling back to me. I needed the money so I took the job back until I found the far better (stability, $2000 less per year but no state income tax and better benefits) and then I left the other company. That other company had the nerve to accuse the other company of stealing me too and they never did anything to make up the furlough to me after I saved their ass on three occasions as I did the work of three people and saved contracts. Needless to say that last job was the worst job I have ever had.

Thankfully once I’ve got my house in Virginia sold, rented a place here that is big enough for our two dogs and my boyfriend and I The I can save money for emergencies and then pay back my debts and start buying real estate to insulate myself from this ever happening again.

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