Author Topic: Help and advice for a closeted 17 year old trans girl  (Read 241 times)

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Offline RBT3000

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Help and advice for a closeted 17 year old trans girl
« on: March 19, 2019, 12:11:19 pm »
Does anyone have advice for a 17 year old closeted trans girl that wants to start E? I've been having a lot of trouble with my body lately and I'm desperately trying to see if there is anything I can do, I can't come out to my family, they've made their view on the matter clear and if they knew I'm afraid to think of what would happen, I live in South Carolina and DSS has investigated my family multiple times for domestic violence charges and nothing has happened. I really can't deal with this feeling of powerlessness for my situation, I want to start making changes that will help me feel better about who I am, and more comfortable and valid with my own identity as a girl, I have tried to change my mindset but I feel there is only so far that can take me when I know that I very clearly do not look like a high school girl.

Offline Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Help and advice for a closeted 17 year old trans girl
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2019, 12:19:27 pm »
Does anyone have advice for a 17 year old closeted trans girl that wants to start E? I've been having a lot of trouble with my body lately and I'm desperately trying to see if there is anything I can do, I can't come out to my family, they've made their view on the matter clear and if they knew I'm afraid to think of what would happen, I live in South Carolina and DSS has investigated my family multiple times for domestic violence charges and nothing has happened. I really can't deal with this feeling of powerlessness for my situation, I want to start making changes that will help me feel better about who I am, and more comfortable and valid with my own identity as a girl, I have tried to change my mindset but I feel there is only so far that can take me when I know that I very clearly do not look like a high school girl.
@RBT3000 
Dear RBT:
     I am so very glad that you have become a member here and that you found the Susan's Place Forums.
     
    As you continue to post on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are.   I expect that you will be getting many members offering their thoughts and suggestions as you continue to post here. 

   
     For sure this is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation and as you continue to feel free to share with all of us.
 
    I also want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
   
    I have attached important and informative LINKS that will help you to navigate around the Forums and will allow you to enjoy the features here.     
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle


Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 
Things that you should read

Offline Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Help and advice for a closeted 17 year old trans girl
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2019, 12:22:41 pm »
@RBT3000
Oh, and another thing, RBT:
Here on the Susan's Place Forums we have a "YOUTH" section that is a safe and heavily moderated area for our younger members and for those that want to explore transition subjects.
***I trust that you will find this helpful.

          YOUTH TALK FORUMS
    https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,496.0.html


               YOUTH INTRODUCTIONS FORUM

         https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,544.0.html

Plan to follow the LINK to the Youth Introductions Forum to let more members know of your arrival.
 
... I will be looking forward to reading your future postings as you feel so led to share with us.

Best wishes,
Danielle


Offline RBT3000

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Re: Help and advice for a closeted 17 year old trans girl
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2019, 12:29:53 pm »
Thank you very much for the helpful links! I've been on the site for some time and looked at others post but it wasn't until today I was able to get over the anxiety I had and try to ask for the help that I need right now, sometimes it's hard to know what you're supposed to do, right now I just know that I need to make a change somehow.

Offline Faith

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Re: Help and advice for a closeted 17 year old trans girl
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2019, 01:31:07 pm »
Does anyone have advice for a 17 year old closeted trans girl that wants to start E? I've been having a lot of trouble with my body lately and I'm desperately trying to see if there is anything I can do, I can't come out to my family, they've made their view on the matter clear and if they knew I'm afraid to think of what would happen, I live in South Carolina and DSS has investigated my family multiple times for domestic violence charges and nothing has happened. I really can't deal with this feeling of powerlessness for my situation, I want to start making changes that will help me feel better about who I am, and more comfortable and valid with my own identity as a girl, I have tried to change my mindset but I feel there is only so far that can take me when I know that I very clearly do not look like a high school girl.

I hate to see your post sit with no replies (other than Danielle's super-welcome message). Unfortunately, I'm not much help either.

Until you are no longer a minor your options are limited without parental help. They stay restricted so long as you live under the same roof. Sure, once legal age you can determine your path. You have to be ready to move out on your own to accomplish it.

Anything outside the home runs the risk of being discovered, under-garments, make-up, full outfits, etc. all laden with risk of discovery.
I left the door open, only a few came through. such is my life.


Offline Zefoxe

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Re: Help and advice for a closeted 17 year old trans girl
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2019, 03:19:03 pm »
I would check with your state laws. In NY you could claim independence from parental consent for healthcare treatment if you feel you're neglected or abused at 17/18 but I cannot condone it not knowing the full extent of your situation.
 
I would suggest you try to find some sort of social worker or even a guidance counselor if your comfortable with them to get further advice. Try googling Teen Centers or even LGBT centers in your area, as these typically would not require parental consent.

Best of luck with everything,
Sabrina

Offline Amoré

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Re: Help and advice for a closeted 17 year old trans girl
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2019, 06:00:35 pm »
Hi

Personally my point of view is the harsh reality of the problem.
I too was stuck in a situation as a teenager where I wanted to transition and things went very south with a father that didn't want me too.

My step mothers advice at that stage was too do it after I was out of the house.

She was right although I chose too carry on being a guy and transitioning only 10 years later.

I know gender dosphoria is a bastard and I don't know your situation and what your plans is after school.

I know that if you plan correctly and get independent you can transition on your own.

So first don't rush it I know it is very hard but sit down and think about the situation logically.

Give yourself power by gaining your independence when you can move out.
In that sense you are now taking control and power by choosing the future that is the best for you although it won't be the ideal situation that you want now.


Excuse me for living

Offline Rachel

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Re: Help and advice for a closeted 17 year old trans girl
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2019, 07:05:07 pm »
Hi, Is there a school councilor you could talk to that would guaranty privacy?  You could start there.

Is there a LGBT center you could call or visit? Is there a trans group they can refer you to? Can you find the local trans community?

I fully understand the safety issue and the trans issue and you must consider your safety first, ability to survive and than thrive, in that order.

I am sorry you are going through this and wish I could help you.

Rachel
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.

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