Author Topic: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?  (Read 642 times)

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Offline CosmicJoke

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If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« on: March 24, 2019, 05:30:20 pm »
If you're like me and you just wish you were born in the "right" body then this is the thread for you. So, the question is if you weren't transgender how would your life be different? This is pretty unclear to me. I do wish I was born biologically female but then at the same time would I really appreciate it that much or would I be more focused on  feminism for example.
It can be tough to say. I feel like just the right to be feminine is a battle I fight as a transgender female, but it seems like most genetic females are more focused on the opposite being seen as equal to a man.
So honestly I don't know how I might be different, but I have thought about this plenty of times before and wonder if anybody else here does too?

Offline Paul Muad-Dib

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2019, 05:36:36 pm »
Unlike some, the condition has been a bigger barrier to me. I didn't find it easy to date, I drifted through life unable to focus, I suffered anxiety and pervasive depression, I did not get married, I did not have children. The life I've had is one on the fringes of society, and after transitioning I begin to see why. The HRT took away the anxiety, the lack of focus and began to instil a sense of normality in me. However it is too late for me to regain a "normal life" most likely.

I notice many trans people did not have this issue. They have careers, kids, even grandkids. It did not stop them from progressing at least part-way to a normal life.

I expect had I been either cis or in the "correct" configuration of brain and body, I would have probably honed in on my desired career and had a family by now.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."

Offline KathyLauren

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2019, 05:57:41 pm »
"What if?" has so many possible outcomes that speculation becomes pointless.  If I wasn't transgender female, what would I be?  Cis male?  Cis female?  And that is only the beginning of the possibilities.

All I can really say is that, if my life had not gone in the direction is did, it would have gone in some other direction.  On the whole, I am rather pleased at the outcome, and the journey has been interesting to say the least.  Speculation on other journeys?  No thanks.  I'll read fiction if I want that.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2019, 06:08:25 pm »
Hi ya, If I were born "cis - female" instead, I would not be here on the trans board typing today  :) I'd be off in my life somewhere living as most women do in western culture today (i think I answered similar in another topic a few days ago).

But since that is not the case, I instead created the best life I could for myself given the cards I was dealt. I focus on going forward to realize the best outcome in the long run. Like my mother used to say "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit  :)"

Thanks for asking

Cynthia -
kindness is love nurturing your soul....
a day in a life of Cynthia Ann @ https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,245988.0.html

Offline krobinson103

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2019, 06:09:51 pm »
Being transgender is a source of strength and diversity of experience for me. I would never choose not to be anything but who and what I am. The question of 'right' and 'wrong' body are pointless. Its my body. It didn't match all that well so I modified it... but its always been mine and I'm happy to be in it.
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.

Offline Sophiaprincess2019

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2019, 06:21:39 pm »
...So, the question is if you weren't transgender how would your life be different?

I lived a life before I became transgender. It was an ever-searching place where I had cloudy thinking, knew something wasn't quite right yet had no idea what "it" was. I went through over 50K in medical testing trying to find the source of strange symptoms that no medical Doctor could find the answer. Once I came out all of my strange symptoms vanished. Today I have a life I never knew existed. I see things in a different light.

So how was my life different? Well, it was very different to say the least. I'm happy my old life is almost over and a new one has begun.

Sophia
1968 Born male but actually girl
1978 Played in girl clothes
1988 Dressed in girl clothes
1998 Wanted to be a girl socially
2008 Lying to myself
2018 Dreamed of becoming a girl
12-8-2018 Knew I was a woman
2-22-2019 Started HRT
5-31-2019 Legal Name Change filed with Court

Offline Gertrude

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2019, 11:22:15 pm »
I would have had a more normal and productive life


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Ann W

Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2019, 02:55:05 am »
Others may not agree, and I will respect and love them anyway.

But this is a seriously f***ed up question. What good can it do, and how much harm could it cause?

We are trans. We didn't ask for it, but it's here. We have the wrong bodies for who we are; well, big deal! We are still who we are. Wondering what might have been is a recipe for depression.

Get out there and be proud and self-confident. That's all that's important.

Offline SonadoraXVX

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2019, 03:21:48 am »
Very. I would be an alpha male, hanging with the other male ex military guys, and being alot less socially isolated. Being transgender now only means I have to accomodate myself in regards to employment, social, financial. Times are still backwards when it comes to being TG, sorry to say, it will take another 10 or more years for society to accept tg culturally way more, than it is now. Culture moves at a snail's pace and permeates everything, its what holds societies and societies together and is invisible.
To know thyself is to be blessed, but to know others is to prevent supreme headaches
Sun Tzu said it best, "To know thyself is half the battle won, but to know yourself and the enemy, is to win 100% of the battles".




Offline Amoré

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2019, 05:58:00 am »
Well seeing as we wouldn't be transgender then you would have been the male or female and inside and outside will mach you where born as. Not the gender that you feel inside.

This is a very toxic question to ask on a forum like this.

I think in the end you will never know how life would be different just like a non transgender person can't even grasp how life is different for us. So this is not the right place to ask this and might lead to some transgender people with a feeling of being deprived because they can't have a different life. All we know is this life.

Sure most of us tried to live a normal life but it was never anything really normal.


Excuse me for living

Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2019, 06:46:53 am »
Hello again CosmicJoke

I have thought about it many times over the years but there is no point as we cannot change either the events leading up to our birth or any happening in the past.

Yes life would have been different but beyond that, who knows? I might have been happy or unhappy, successful or unsuccessful, physically or mentally well or unwell, rich or poor. I shall never know.

All I wish to do is concentrate on the present and the future which to some extent we can change. I intend to have a damn good attempt at enjoying the rest of my life as what I am a transgender woman. I am publicly transitioning in Summer.

Hoping you may all enjoy your life and Hugs to all!

Pamela  xx



Offline barbie

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2019, 08:45:29 am »
It would have been far more boring.

barbie~~
Just do it.

Josie_L

Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2019, 06:35:49 pm »
It would have been far more boring.

barbie~~

Perfect answer! x

Josie_L

Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2019, 06:36:55 pm »
Would merely be existing in this world rather than living in it. x

Offline emma-f

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #14 on: March 25, 2019, 07:09:38 pm »
This type of "what if" question does crop up now and again, both on here and in "real life". What if I wasn't trans and was able to live my life as a man? What if I was born the female I feel that I should have been? What if I'd transitioned as a child and was able to go on blockers etc? All entirely futile as its a life that doesn't exist (outside of the Many-World's Interpretation Theory anyway)

I know each to their own as how they view being trans. Some are able to stand up and be counted, and are proud and glad of being trans, and frankly awesome to them - I'm jealous of that approach. I can't. I hate every single bit of being trans. But I have my daughter. And she is my absolute world. I don't think it too far hyperbole to say that she could well be the reason that I'm here today. And on any "what if" scenario she wouldn't be. So although I absolutely despise being trans in this world, it is infinitely preferable to any world where my little girl isn't in it

Offline CosmicJoke

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #15 on: March 25, 2019, 09:27:08 pm »
This type of "what if" question does crop up now and again, both on here and in "real life". What if I wasn't trans and was able to live my life as a man? What if I was born the female I feel that I should have been? What if I'd transitioned as a child and was able to go on blockers etc? All entirely futile as its a life that doesn't exist (outside of the Many-World's Interpretation Theory anyway)

I know each to their own as how they view being trans. Some are able to stand up and be counted, and are proud and glad of being trans, and frankly awesome to them - I'm jealous of that approach. I can't. I hate every single bit of being trans. But I have my daughter. And she is my absolute world. I don't think it too far hyperbole to say that she could well be the reason that I'm here today. And on any "what if" scenario she wouldn't be. So although I absolutely despise being trans in this world, it is infinitely preferable to any world where my little girl isn't in it

That's a good way to look at it. Thank you for sharing. When you have someone that you think of besides yourself, I suppose that changes everything.

Offline Paul Muad-Dib

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #16 on: March 26, 2019, 07:39:29 pm »
This is a very toxic question to ask on a forum like this.


Disagree. It was thinking of this exact question that allowed me to hone in on the details of my transsexual condition in the first place, and enabled me to identify the sort of trans person I was, the severity of the issues I had and from there begin to find the path to dealing with it.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."

Offline MikeP

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #17 on: March 26, 2019, 08:59:19 pm »
I would have had a more normal and productive life


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I think this fits me because of all the time I have spent trying to figure things out.  I think of it as something others cant help me much with so it is difficult to navigate.  But there are other things in life that have been difficult too. 
If you say you can or cant do something you are correct! Henry Ford

Offline barbie

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #18 on: March 26, 2019, 09:33:07 pm »
Would merely be existing in this world rather than living in it. x

You are optimistic like me. Another half of people can be pessimistic.

barbie~~
Just do it.

Offline Gertrude

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Re: If you weren't transgender how would life be different?
« Reply #19 on: March 26, 2019, 10:57:17 pm »
I think this fits me because of all the time I have spent trying to figure things out.  I think of it as something others cant help me much with so it is difficult to navigate.  But there are other things in life that have been difficult too.

Yup

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