Author Topic: Hello  (Read 210 times)

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Offline mia bass

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Hello
« on: March 26, 2019, 03:42:58 pm »
As is no doubt fairly obvious from this being a post in the Introductions topic, I'm new here. I am a long-time (private) cross-dresser and currently gender questioning and contemplating being more open about all this. I am trying to figure out what gender I identify as - not that labels are really all that important to me, but they can help in discussing who and what I am. I'll probably post more on that in an appropriate forum later on.

For now, let me just say that I identify as both male and female. I generally identify with both at the same time, sometimes more one than the other. I do not experience well-defined shifts between genders, rather I experience aspects of both simultaneously. From what I've found thus far, that sort-of fits some, but not all, definitions of bigender or gender fluid, but not necessarily. It's probably a good thing labels aren't all that important to me!

I look forward to talking with people here and, hopefully, finding some clarity and helpful thoughts/advice. Thanks for being here!

Mia

Online Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Hello
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2019, 03:50:41 pm »
As is no doubt fairly obvious from this being a post in the Introductions topic, I'm new here. I am a long-time (private) cross-dresser and currently gender questioning and contemplating being more open about all this. I am trying to figure out what gender I identify as - not that labels are really all that important to me, but they can help in discussing who and what I am. I'll probably post more on that in an appropriate forum later on.

For now, let me just say that I identify as both male and female. I generally identify with both at the same time, sometimes more one than the other. I do not experience well-defined shifts between genders, rather I experience aspects of both simultaneously. From what I've found thus far, that sort-of fits some, but not all, definitions of bigender or gender fluid, but not necessarily. It's probably a good thing labels aren't all that important to me!

I look forward to talking with people here and, hopefully, finding some clarity and helpful thoughts/advice. Thanks for being here!

Mia

@mia bass
Dear Mia:
     I am so very glad that you have become a member here and that you found the Susan's Place Forums.

    As you continue to post on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are.   I expect that you will be getting many members offering their thoughts and suggestions as you continue to post here. 

    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation and as you continue to feel free to share with all of us.
 
    I also want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
   
    I have attached important and informative LINKS that will help you to navigate around the Forums and will allow you to enjoy the features here.     
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle


Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 
Things that you should read

Offline V M

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Re: Hello
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2019, 05:02:28 pm »
Hi Mia  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS

 
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Offline LizK

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Re: Hello
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2019, 01:17:00 am »
Hi  Mia

Welcome to Susan's, Hope you enjoy your time here  :icon_wave-nerd:

There are lots of great people with valuable experiences and only too happy to share them with you.

Take care  ;D

LizK
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019

Offline HappyMoni

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Re: Hello
« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2019, 11:18:28 am »
Hi Mia, my name is Moni. Welcome to the site. I am a bit more binary than it sounds like you are, but that's cool. I hope you write more and feel comfortable here. From your introduction, you seem pretty chilled out about things. Is that true? Hope to see you around!
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

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Offline mia bass

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Re: Hello
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2019, 12:18:39 pm »
I am pretty chilled out about it. I've become much more comfortable with my situation/person/self over the last few years, but I am continuing to question, to clarify for myself, who and what I am. I might just be a cross-dresser. I might (probably am) some mix of male and female gender. I definitely do not feel agender. I have pretty much always presented as male in public, but I do feel, and in some ways seem to present as female or have more female-typical patterns. For example, at many points in my life, I have had far more female friends than male friends, and been closer to them than my male friends. I also feel a need to dress, sometimes strongly. I recently went through an extended period of not dressing as a woman (for no specific or particular reason, it just happened that way), and I felt something was wrong. Not strongly wrong (I don't seem to have any strong disphoria), just a vague but pervasive unease. Eventually I realized I needed to put on a dress - and it felt really good when I did.

I do not feel any compelling need to be a woman full time, thus I don't identify as trans and have no real desire to transform myself (although I do wish I had breasts from time to time, especially when I am cross-dressed...pretty obvious reasons there).

Mostly, I'm just trying to figure out who and what I am. I'm not too worried about what the answer may be, but I am curious. I guess one thing I'm, well, struggling with is probably too strong, but contemplating is too weak, so let's say one thing I'm working through at the moment is the differing definitions I've found for bigender and gender fluid. Some definitions indicate a strong and definite switching between genders. I do not experience this. Others define it as a blending of multiple genders. This is what I think I experience. It seems like, perhaps, there ought to be separate terms for these, or at least a spectrum. I've been realizing that gender is a very multidimensional thing - a combination of many orthogonal spectra (please pardon the geometry reference, but it seems an apt model): male-female, gendered-nongendered, single-many genders, switching-blended, I'm sure there are dozens of others that could be described. (I give these only as examples, so if I've left out your favorite spectrum, please don't read anything into it other than it would have made the list too long!)

Your thoughts are welcome...and perhaps I should start a thread on this. Suggestions as to what would be the most appropriate forum to do that on are welcome, of course!

Offline HappyMoni

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Re: Hello
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2019, 08:02:55 pm »
I would offer a thought to consider. Even if you do figure out a good label, you may find it may change over time. Gender can be a dynamic thing. I have certainly evolved in my process. One general trend I have found and seen in others is the dysphoria getting stronger with age. I don't know why. Just a thought.
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

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Offline Dietlind

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Re: Hello
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2019, 11:37:28 pm »
Hi Mia
It sounds a little the way I feel, or better, used to feel.  For most of my life I did not really have a gender identity, I was supposed to be a man, so I lived like a man.  Later in life i had the desire to become a female, but I could switch into a male role at the snip of a finger, and still did not have any real gender identity, I always felt like floating between genders.
I am now comfortable with living as a woman, and have developed a strong feeling of being female, but I still can switch at no time into a male roll. I have no mental problems or dysphoria presenting as a male.  However, over time, the exterior appearance of my body has changed enough (like growing breasts) that it is more difficult to get accepted as a man.  But I am now very happy to be a woman.

It could be that you are on a similar path like I m, and at some point you can develop a gender identity, and living as this gender will make you happy!
I wish you lots of luck on your path!
Linde
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy




Offline mia bass

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Re: Hello
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2019, 05:53:43 pm »
@HappyMoni - I fully expect that things may change over time, for reasons internal, external, or both. I'm just trying to figure out who and what I am now. Someone may come up with a better term next week, or I may decide that I am some completely different gender next month (although for me, such changes do not seem to come quickly, so, while possible, I do consider that somewhat unlikely). I've been on this journey for a while, and my identity has changed over time, as I've learned more about myself and about gender identity and, perhaps most importantly, learned more about others who are on (somewhat) similar journeys, be they trans, bigender, generfluid, or whatever.

Also, thanks to all for the kind welcomes!

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