Author Topic: Tips on reviewing transition rules with hospital staff  (Read 503 times)

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Offline EvaB

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Tips on reviewing transition rules with hospital staff
« on: January 25, 2021, 08:37:30 am »
I am retired and one a fixed income, so my wife and I decided to control the outflow of cash.  (This is so damn expensive.)  Adding to my depression, the transition was put last on my list.  Now, I have penile cancer and it has caught up to me.  The cancer was found to be invasive after an operation that left me with a penis I don't want, looking like it went through a pencil sharpener.   I have my next surgery on March 1st and everything must go.  So, my plan has been reversed and I am working on this surgery to be my transition.  Everything is lining up but awaiting a hospital staff review to find out what they need to allow this to happen.
I am very nervous about being denied the transition surgery because of the transition rules.  I very much want to wear female clothing, but the best I can say honestly is that I currently dress a lot like Ellen Degeneres.  Having a strong attraction to females and in my talks with my therapist, I have concluded that I am a lesbian dyke, so this seems ok with me, but if my long-term plans roll out I desperately want to wear dresses, skirts, etc.
Can anyone give me tips on how to present this to hospital admin staff  (and any other tips)?  I don't want them to blow this up...
"You cannot be happy if you are not joyful about something.  When you find this joy, happiness, grace, and virtue will follow.  The Way of the dog is to find this joy every day and to never give up this search." - Said to Eros, the Metaphysical Dog by his mother, Skylark.  Good advice for human's too!

Online Devlyn

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Re: Tips on reviewing transition rules with hospital staff
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2021, 10:27:00 am »
The  "transition rules" are the  WPATH Standards Of Care . They are guidelines, not set in stone. To have GRS the recommendation is a referral from your Primary care physician, a letter from a therapist, a letter from a psychiatrist, and  a history of one year on HRT.

Your sexuality has little to do with transition, neither does how you want to dress.

Good luck and keep us updated.  :)

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Offline RandyL

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Re: Tips on reviewing transition rules with hospital staff
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2021, 10:30:09 am »
Hi Eva,

I'm sorry you have to deal with the cancer, but I hope the opportunity for transition works out. I have not been through anything like this, so what follows is unencumbered by the thought process as Click and Clack used to say.

I assume you would want a shallow depth surgery if there are expected to be enough tissues remaining for that. I think mainly scrotal skin for labia. If not, then see if there is any way to preserve some sensitive parts similar to a clitoris. And if really everything must go, I don't know what advice we could offer.

Just be assured that if you can start HRT later, you will pick up breast sensitivity that can help with sex.

All the best. Hugs, Randy

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Offline EvaB

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Re: Tips on reviewing transition rules with hospital staff
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2021, 09:50:28 am »
Thanks Devlyn and Randy, for your kind thoughts.  BTW Randy, I have been on HRT for 3 years, which checks off a big box for my interrogators, but I confessed my supposed sins and the coordinator said not to worry about it!  Phewww!!!

Funny, now I know the surgery is coming, I going crazy looking at women's clothes to buy.  My wife told me to hold my horses and wait until I lost more weight (i am losing weight at a good clip), which is very practical, but I am having a problem with practical.   ;)
"You cannot be happy if you are not joyful about something.  When you find this joy, happiness, grace, and virtue will follow.  The Way of the dog is to find this joy every day and to never give up this search." - Said to Eros, the Metaphysical Dog by his mother, Skylark.  Good advice for human's too!

Offline RandyL

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Re: Tips on reviewing transition rules with hospital staff
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2021, 10:46:00 am »
I buy mostly knit or otherwise stretchy tops, because a standard fit doesn't fit me lol. Something like that should take you a long way through weight loss.
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Online Pammie

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Re: Tips on reviewing transition rules with hospital staff
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2021, 02:22:47 pm »
I am retired and one a fixed income, so my wife and I decided to control the outflow of cash.  (This is so damn expensive.)  Adding to my depression, the transition was put last on my list.  Now, I have penile cancer and it has caught up to me.  The cancer was found to be invasive after an operation that left me with a penis I don't want, looking like it went through a pencil sharpener.   I have my next surgery on March 1st and everything must go.  So, my plan has been reversed and I am working on this surgery to be my transition.  Everything is lining up but awaiting a hospital staff review to find out what they need to allow this to happen.
I am very nervous about being denied the transition surgery because of the transition rules.  I very much want to wear female clothing, but the best I can say honestly is that I currently dress a lot like Ellen Degeneres.  Having a strong attraction to females and in my talks with my therapist, I have concluded that I am a lesbian dyke, so this seems ok with me, but if my long-term plans roll out I desperately want to wear dresses, skirts, etc.
Can anyone give me tips on how to present this to hospital admin staff  (and any other tips)?  I don't want them to blow this up...
I guess im wondering what stops you from presenting female now? Sending thoughts and hugs x


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Offline EvaB

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Re: Tips on reviewing transition rules with hospital staff
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2021, 05:41:38 am »
Sorry, but I don't want to be put in a position where I am justifying actions.  All I will say is that every transgender journey is unique.  As has yours been unique, so has mine.
"You cannot be happy if you are not joyful about something.  When you find this joy, happiness, grace, and virtue will follow.  The Way of the dog is to find this joy every day and to never give up this search." - Said to Eros, the Metaphysical Dog by his mother, Skylark.  Good advice for human's too!

Offline EvaB

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Re: Tips on reviewing transition rules with hospital staff
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2021, 09:57:16 am »
Woo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am flying through this admin stuff.  I guess when everyone knows the male member has to be lopped regardless due to cancer, there is little resistance.  Can't wait!  March 15th...
Thanks to all that replied for your compassion and support.  I have noticed that half the people posting on this site are just looking for support to reduce their own anxiety.  You helped me to reduce my anxiety, and I want to thank you soo much...
"You cannot be happy if you are not joyful about something.  When you find this joy, happiness, grace, and virtue will follow.  The Way of the dog is to find this joy every day and to never give up this search." - Said to Eros, the Metaphysical Dog by his mother, Skylark.  Good advice for human's too!

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