Author Topic: Keeping old name  (Read 609 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline steph2.0

  • AKA Galaxy Girl
  • Family
  • *****
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 3,483
  • Reputation: +20/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Replacing existing with living
Keeping old name
« Reply #20 on: April 10, 2019, 10:04:17 am »
I am finding that keeping the past without being a prisoner of it is tricky.

Exactly, Randi! I did some pretty cool things in the past that the new friends I’ve been making (who only know the new me) would be interested in hearing about. Most of them are safe because there aren’t too many records online that they can check that would “blow my cover,” so to speak. But there are things that are off limits that have me editing my conversations in real-time. For instance, I almost told someone the other day that as an Eagle Scout, I was taught to always be prepared. Whoa, girl, you can’t say that! There were no girl Eagle Scouts in the 70s!

Another interesting thing is that lately as I think about the things I’ve done in the past, my brain is committing some revisionist history. I remember myself doing them - as my new self. My brain is slowly editing “him” out of my memories. I’m perfectly okay with that!

Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019

Offline randim

  • *
  • Posts: 261
  • Reputation: +2/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Keeping old name
« Reply #21 on: April 10, 2019, 10:16:05 am »
Does being addressed as Randi, rather than Randy, feel any different?

Yes, although I'm not really out so I am not addressed as "Randi" that much.  My mind's eye knows my therapist is saying it with an "i".  I book my haircuts online under Randi, so when the staff at the salon say my name it feels like they are saying it with an "i". I am starting to sign checks and card receipts as Randi.  That all does feel different.  When someone I am not out to (most people) say my name, I am assuming "Randy" and it doesn't feel different.  Does that make sense?

Offline randim

  • *
  • Posts: 261
  • Reputation: +2/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Keeping old name
« Reply #22 on: April 10, 2019, 10:18:37 am »

Another interesting thing is that lately as I think about the things I’ve done in the past, my brain is committing some revisionist history. I remember myself doing them - as my new self. My brain is slowly editing “him” out of my memories. I’m perfectly okay with that!

Stephanie

That sounds a lot like when people become immersed in a new language, at some point they start to think in that language.  (Or so I've heard.  I barely speak English.  :D )

Online Maddie

  • puzzlebox
  • *
  • Posts: 186
  • Reputation: +3/-0
  • Gender: F>M
Re: Keeping old name
« Reply #23 on: April 10, 2019, 10:27:26 am »
Thank you Randi.
You do make sense.

Offline KatieP

  • *
  • Posts: 371
  • Reputation: +6/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Keeping old name
« Reply #24 on: April 10, 2019, 10:30:44 am »
Oh man, I don't know where you live, but here in the US, it's not very expensive to legally change your name.  Maybe around a couple hundred dollars.  I changed everything as well, except for my birth certificate.  Unfortunately, I live in one of the three states where they won't do so, but there's a lawsuit challenging that law.  I'm following it, since it will impact whether or not I change my name in my home state.  ugh.  Stupid politicians being bullies and gatekeepers, it's not fun.  >:(

Ryuichi

Clearly, you don't live in California!  ;D

To file the name change docs in court costs $435. The certified copies you need cost another $125. Birth certificate was something like $60. The passport with this that and the other fee was nearly $300. The drivers license was $35. Global Entry $25. Various permits and licenses were about $250 total. (The stinking NAUI card was $45 by itself!)

I would guess the name change was more than $1000, plus at least 100 hours of time, which was tougher to part with than the money.

Probably, if you are smart, you find a way to do gender and name all at the same time. I wish I had been smart. Instead I was impatient...

Kate

Offline Linde

  • A year full-time
  • *
  • Posts: 4,467
  • Reputation: +12/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Keeping old name
« Reply #25 on: April 10, 2019, 10:42:35 am »
Clearly, you don't live in California!  ;D

To file the name change docs in court costs $435. The certified copies you need cost another $125. Birth certificate was something like $60. The passport with this that and the other fee was nearly $300. The drivers license was $35. Global Entry $25. Various permits and licenses were about $250 total. (The stinking NAUI card was $45 by itself!)

I would guess the name change was more than $1000, plus at least 100 hours of time, which was tougher to part with than the money.

Probably, if you are smart, you find a way to do gender and name all at the same time. I wish I had been smart. Instead I was impatient...

Kate
Not much different in Florida.  I calculate with roughly $1000 for what I can think of that  needs to be done.  Who knows what I will discover later that will cost some additional money?  I have no idea how some poor sou with minimal income would be able to effort this!  This and all the extra transition related costs take quite a bit of the money away I was stashing away for a rainy day!
Feb 2019, bi-lateral orchiectomy
June 10, 2019 Not enough Y chr detected to be male






Offline Virelai

  • *
  • Posts: 246
  • Reputation: +30/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Keeping old name
« Reply #26 on: April 10, 2019, 11:35:31 am »
If it works for you, it works! However, for me, it can't. I despise my birth name, everything about it. For god's sake, its meaning is "manly".  :'( There are feminine versions of it, but I don't want them. They still mean "manly". I'd love to get as far away from my birth name as possible. I'd settle for a name with the same first letter, but that is it. lol

Offline Amiina

  • Visitor
  • *
  • Posts: 2
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: Keeping old name
« Reply #27 on: April 10, 2019, 07:20:45 pm »
Thanks for all these replies!

I'm overwhelmed by the positivity in here. Also, listening to all of your life stories and keeping such a positive attitude is really motivating!

I'll keep you updated, once the appointment is done


Offline StacyRenee

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 248
  • Reputation: +5/-0
Re: Keeping old name
« Reply #28 on: April 12, 2019, 10:42:33 am »


Clearly, you don't live in California!  ;D

To file the name change docs in court costs $435. The certified copies you need cost another $125. Birth certificate was something like $60. The passport with this that and the other fee was nearly $300. The drivers license was $35. Global Entry $25. Various permits and licenses were about $250 total. (The stinking NAUI card was $45 by itself!)

I would guess the name change was more than $1000, plus at least 100 hours of time, which was tougher to part with than the money.

Probably, if you are smart, you find a way to do gender and name all at the same time. I wish I had been smart. Instead I was impatient...

Kate

Wow, I'm glad mine wasn't that much. Legal name change was $125 plus the publication cost of $70 (requirement in NM). NY birth certificate was free (but took 8 weeks to get it completed and mailed to me). I need to get a passport yet (my old one expired years ago). DL was $36 (and 3 titles were $5 each, not renewed, just reissued). I haven't done it yet, but my diploma will cost $25. I don't have any other license or certificates. I'd ballpark it at  $250 total.

On the other hand, my health insurance through work doesn't cover trans related healthcare. Two years out of pocket cost: therapy (partially covered as my therapist bills it as depression) $1000, hormones $4200, orchiectomy (plus travel and lodging) $4000.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk


Offline jesse135

  • Neighbor
  • ***
  • Posts: 50
  • Reputation: +1/-0
  • Gender: Male
Re: Keeping old name
« Reply #29 on: April 15, 2019, 11:54:35 pm »
Wow that's super cheap! I haven't done it because everyone just abides anyway. Here it's supposedly $250. That's super cool! I'm liking seeing the stories, too.

Offline GingerVicki

  • *****
  • *
  • Posts: 1,646
  • Reputation: +4/-1
  • Gender: Female
  • ^^Faceapp
Re: Keeping old name
« Reply #30 on: April 16, 2019, 01:03:54 am »
I am going to keep my name how it is. It is a male name, but friends will call me Vicki.

Tags: