Activism and Politics > Discrimination

Transphobic dad

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Michelledeanna1989:
How do I deal with an extremely transphobic father
My dad and I have grown apart since I came out as trans
He thinks this is a choose.  I’m currently looking for work
It’s not easy 20 or so interviews and no luck I’m going for
Other types of employment outside of hospitality.

My dad and my conversation  was about me looking at
An apartment that’s less then I pay now. 
In a great area  of my city.  Still in a wealthy area of town

This is are conversation

Dad:
If you get short listed becareful the way you dress may be the could be trans phobia people

Me:
No I don't think that's it I'm going for jobs that are not cleaning so it's just different

Dad:
You really need to think that through I think your problem it trans phobia if you really want this new place I would think very carefully about before you go  I'm totally convinced in my opinion is why you haven't landed a job
But this is your life ..you make 5his decision but suffer the consequences that go with your lifes decision

I hardly speak to him anymore I almost always cry after we speak
He knows how close they where to me ending my life
Coming out has help me in more ways then one my gender therapist
Pointed it out the other day.  I feel frustrated already.  It’s a busy time
Of year to find work I had an interview I missed up in but I had a transgender
Employee come and wish me luck. So they are not transphobic.
Most places aren’t but some are and I can tell. Pretty quick when they are
I’m going for jobs I have little to no experience.  I have two where I have tons
Of experience. One pays well too   

I am extremely frustrated. I just wish my dad
Would do some research and learn about gender dysphoria
And it’s not a choose but when I came out he said why can’t you just be gay
Instead. As if I had a choose and I choose being trans over being gay..
I know minimum contact has helped I haven’t been to visit since Christmas and I am only 2 hours
Away

Faith:
I don't have any advice, it's not worth much anyways. I do have an observation from my world.

You can only fix you
You cannot fix them
Sometimes fixing you fixes them
Sometimes fixing you doesn't fix them

be you, it's the only thing that you really have control over.

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