Author Topic: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann  (Read 23729 times)

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Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #520 on: April 14, 2020, 03:45:35 pm »
@CynthiaAnn   cc: @davina61
Yes indeed, it is amazing to me to read the many replies on both the One Word and Two Word games.   It is not only a lot of fun, but it does help to keep our minds sharp and can't help but to keep our vocabulary and word usage up to date....
Danielle

@Northern Star Girl

Agreed Danielle, word puzzles and games can be a lot of fun, and do keep our vocabularies sharp. The single word game can be a certain fun, because you can say a lot with just one word, when given the previous  ;)

Hugs

C
« Last Edit: April 14, 2020, 03:47:18 pm by Northern Star Girl »
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #521 on: April 24, 2020, 09:12:07 am »
Have a wonderful day Cyndi!  :)


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #522 on: April 24, 2020, 09:45:55 am »
Friday morning update - 47f overcast, expecting sunny afternoon later. I've been reading other threads here at Susan's and on other forums about married MTF trying to come out to their wives or having to deal with all the issues surrounding a transition from essentially a "cis-hetro" relationship to a "lesbian/queer" relationship. I can't answer those other threads honestly because each circumstance is so unique, that what I did in the past has no real relevancy to their situations really. Each partner has their own ideas on what a marriage means to them. All I could offer them is mere suggestions of being kind and honest to the one they love in this world, for what they are doing is turning a loved one's ideas about a "traditional" marriage upside down. Our 35th wedding anniversary is approaching soon, I thought I would reflect a little on what my marriage means to me and how it's changed over the years. I came out to my wife in several phases over the decades, leading up to a full social / medical transition from male to female last decade. I first told my wife about myself as best as I knew then BEFORE we were married, this was over 37 years ago now. I was already quite self aware at that time I had a "need" to express some sort of femininity. That simple honesty was one of the hardest things I ever did in life, was to finally admit something that I did not fully understand at the time. She took it rather well I believe, although she thought it was "kinky" or something like that. In our early days together we would go shopping for my girl things and I would thoroughly enjoy having these things around it was no secret between us. After dealing with the oscillations of GD through the years and trying to uphold a facade for the rest of the world, I finally sought professional counseling in 2010 and began planning my transition. It was very hard over these early years of transition because I was forcing the issue (out of desperate need) of my female self out in the open and was quite visible. However with honesty, empathy, caring, and taking a very slow approach, I gradually began to become recognized in her social circles and family members as her female partner, even if some knew my past. I gradually became recognized in the neighborhood as my true self and with her friends that live close by. Our relationship has evolved over this past decade, many changes we've been through. Now we go out in public as two women, and are treated that way.  Now days she will introduce me to a co - worker we run into at the store as her partner "Cynthia", this may not seem like much in the grand scheme of things, but to me and my sense of self, this is absolutely huge, this took a long time to get to this point with us. I love being referred to as "ladies" when we go out, again such a small thing, means so much to me today. We do our taxes together and still file jointly, we visited the accountant together recently. We go out to concerts (remember those ?), restaurants (remember dining out ?). My sweetie is not lesbian, never was. Yet our relationship today is alive and well with much common purpose. I love her more than anything in this world. What I had to do to keep my health and well being was quite dramatic, she is strong and caring to be there for me. 35 years of marriage is a milestone I am posting about today, Love is all.

Be well

C
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #523 on: April 24, 2020, 10:02:04 am »
Have a wonderful day Cyndi!  :)


Chrissy

@ChrissyRyan - Thanks Chrissy, I hope you have a wonderful weekend  :)

Cyndi
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline RandyL

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #524 on: April 24, 2020, 12:46:35 pm »
Hi Cyndi, congratulations to you both on your 35 year marriage and its continuing success. You are an inspiration for me as my wife of 36 years and I attempt to navigate similar waters.

She too is not a lesbian, and I've been reluctant to press too hard at the risk at breaking us up. It is good to see that you have been able to stay together, although reading between the lines I'm guessing there have been changes.

All the best to you both.

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Casting about for my best path forward...

My personal blog thread: Randy the lost traveler, finding the right road at last

My HRT thread: Randy's HRT Journal


Offline davina61

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #525 on: April 24, 2020, 01:04:03 pm »
congrats dear on both counts, you are very lucky. As they say around here, you got a gudun there look after her.
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever.
I get pushed out of shape and its hard to steer when I get rubber in all 4 gears (Beach Boys ,little deuce coupe)

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #526 on: April 24, 2020, 03:51:51 pm »
Hi Cyndi, congratulations to you both on your 35 year marriage and its continuing success. You are an inspiration for me as my wife of 36 years and I attempt to navigate similar waters.

She too is not a lesbian, and I've been reluctant to press too hard at the risk at breaking us up. It is good to see that you have been able to stay together, although reading between the lines I'm guessing there have been changes.

All the best to you both.

Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

Hi @RandyL, nice to have you drop by, and thanks for your kind post, you are welcome here in my thread anytime  :)

  What I am posting about you already know to be difficult and treacherous waters to navigate. Many marriages do I read about that do crash on the rocks and shoals. Jennifer Boylan a well known author I once met at her book recital, said that she now sees about half the marriages survive the MTF transition, her statement then was encouraging. I really enjoyed her book "shes not there" early in my transition. She offered insights in that book that proved valuable for me, when applied in my unique circumstances, kudos to Jenny !

  I want to wish you and your loved one the very best and congratulations on your 36 years of marriage. I understand your reluctance to press too hard. I can offer this, it's a lot of "give and take", striking that unique balance with your loved one that is yours and yours alone. Character counts, I've heard it said, so true when undertaking a MTF transition within a marriage. I can only emphasize how much honesty matters, being totally transparent, vulnerable in many ways, and consistency in messaging. I know I said things I later had to take back.

Hugs

Cyndi -
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #527 on: April 24, 2020, 03:54:39 pm »
congrats dear on both counts, you are very lucky. As they say around here, you got a gudun there look after her.

@Davina61 - Thanks Davina ! I will look after her, just as she looks after me.

Hugs

Cyndi -
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline JudiBlueEyes

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #528 on: April 24, 2020, 05:36:21 pm »
Congratulations Cyndi.  Each of our journey's are unique as you note.  My "partner" and I are in our 45th with a special blend of relationship and friendship that has endured many ups and downs.  You both seem to be happy and that is really what matters.
Hugs, Judi
Wind blew in, cloud was dispersed
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The moment had passed like I knew that it should

Offline madeleine

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #529 on: April 24, 2020, 06:42:38 pm »
Congrats CynthiaAnn!  I'll also echo how lucky you are to be in a relationship strong enough to go through these changes.  Sounds like that goes for Randy and JudiBlueEyes too!

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #530 on: April 24, 2020, 06:48:37 pm »
Friday morning update - 47f overcast, expecting sunny afternoon later. I've been reading other threads here at Susan's and on other forums about married MTF trying to come out to their wives or having to deal with all the issues surrounding a transition from essentially a "cis-hetro" relationship to a "lesbian/queer" relationship. I can't answer those other threads honestly because each circumstance is so unique, that what I did in the past has no real relevancy to their situations really. Each partner has their own ideas on what a marriage means to them. All I could offer them is mere suggestions of being kind and honest to the one they love in this world, for what they are doing is turning a loved one's ideas about a "traditional" marriage upside down. Our 35th wedding anniversary is approaching soon, I thought I would reflect a little on what my marriage means to me and how it's changed over the years. I came out to my wife in several phases over the decades, leading up to a full social / medical transition from male to female last decade. I first told my wife about myself as best as I knew then BEFORE we were married, this was over 37 years ago now. I was already quite self aware at that time I had a "need" to express some sort of femininity. That simple honesty was one of the hardest things I ever did in life, was to finally admit something that I did not fully understand at the time. She took it rather well I believe, although she thought it was "kinky" or something like that. In our early days together we would go shopping for my girl things and I would thoroughly enjoy having these things around it was no secret between us. After dealing with the oscillations of GD through the years and trying to uphold a facade for the rest of the world, I finally sought professional counseling in 2010 and began planning my transition. It was very hard over these early years of transition because I was forcing the issue (out of desperate need) of my female self out in the open and was quite visible. However with honesty, empathy, caring, and taking a very slow approach, I gradually began to become recognized in her social circles and family members as her female partner, even if some knew my past. I gradually became recognized in the neighborhood as my true self and with her friends that live close by. Our relationship has evolved over this past decade, many changes we've been through. Now we go out in public as two women, and are treated that way.  Now days she will introduce me to a co - worker we run into at the store as her partner "Cynthia", this may not seem like much in the grand scheme of things, but to me and my sense of self, this is absolutely huge, this took a long time to get to this point with us. I love being referred to as "ladies" when we go out, again such a small thing, means so much to me today. We do our taxes together and still file jointly, we visited the accountant together recently. We go out to concerts (remember those ?), restaurants (remember dining out ?). My sweetie is not lesbian, never was. Yet our relationship today is alive and well with much common purpose. I love her more than anything in this world. What I had to do to keep my health and well being was quite dramatic, she is strong and caring to be there for me. 35 years of marriage is a milestone I am posting about today, Love is all.

Be well

C

Cyndi, that was good to read.  I will strongly emphasize that being kind and emotionally and intellectually honest is the best way to obtain the ability to relate with another, to earn respect, and to maintain love.

As I will endlessly share with those that need to hear it, the spending of lots of time, the showing of lots of consideration, and the genuine caring of another fosters and deepens emotional bonds and that maintains selfless, open, honest, and loving relationships.  You will not have many close relationships but there are some critical ones, those of the nuclear or immediate family, which absolutely must always be present. 

These take time and energy but you do give of yourself because you love.  There are too many very hurt people out there with emotional wounds and although those scars can be mitigated with prolonged excellent therapy, these individuals should have never been subjected to a lack of nurturing. 

Hugs,

Christine



@CynthiaAnn
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #531 on: April 25, 2020, 07:40:32 am »
@JudiBlueEyes - Congrats Judi on your 45 years, I know you've nurtured the relationship in the years after transition, so important.

@Madeleine - There is the element of luck as to whether things will work out. Some are really better off being apart, it's so unique to each circumstance.

@ChrissyRyan - " I will strongly emphasize that being kind and emotionally and intellectually honest is the best way to obtain the ability to relate with another, to earn respect, and to maintain love. " - Totally agree, and your character shines though with such sentences. Thanks for your thoughtful post.

This weekend we move a bed and more stuff out of the house over to the youngest's apartment, she can't run away from it. It will be nice to get together with her and boyfriend again, may BBQ if weather is nice.

Do enjoy your weekend all :)

Hugs

C
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #532 on: April 27, 2020, 07:41:09 am »
Monday Morning 52f, rain. Had a nice visit with our youngest and her boyfriend yesterday, moved stuff to her apartment, BBQ in between (sunny yesterday), their kitty started warming up to me, and let me pet her, awwww. My F 350 needed this run, put fresh gas in truck. My sweetie went to the local target store Saturday and they were completely sold out of Jigsaw puzzles  :) So we traded our 1000 piece ones we just completed for a couple of 500 piece ones our daughter and boyfriend had about, and started working on it last night. 500 pieces seems like it will go pretty fast. Back at work today, our business is slowly opening up more locations as local conditions dictate. The traffic on the roads was noticeably busier yesterday, but still not quite back to what it was, I could still drive the speed limit  :) Our current state lock down does not end till May 4th, although they are allowing construction contractors this week to begin work. Noticed I passed the 10,000 post mark here at Susan's  :D

C
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline JudiBlueEyes

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #533 on: April 27, 2020, 09:39:40 am »
Good Morning Cynthia!  It sounds like you had a good weekend.  Our governor extended the lockdown over the weekend until May 4 , so more of the same although admittedly I will be extremely cautious once things start to loosen.  10K Posts, wow!

Stay safe!
Judi
Wind blew in, cloud was dispersed
Rainbows appearing, the pressures were burst
Breezes a-singing, now feeling good
The moment had passed like I knew that it should

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #534 on: April 27, 2020, 10:20:28 am »
Monday Morning 52f, rain. Had a nice visit with our youngest and her boyfriend yesterday, moved stuff to her apartment, BBQ in between (sunny yesterday), their kitty started warming up to me, and let me pet her, awwww. My F 350 needed this run, put fresh gas in truck. My sweetie went to the local target store Saturday and they were completely sold out of Jigsaw puzzles  :) So we traded our 1000 piece ones we just completed for a couple of 500 piece ones our daughter and boyfriend had about, and started working on it last night. 500 pieces seems like it will go pretty fast. Back at work today, our business is slowly opening up more locations as local conditions dictate. The traffic on the roads was noticeably busier yesterday, but still not quite back to what it was, I could still drive the speed limit  :) Our current state lock down does not end till May 4th, although they are allowing construction contractors this week to begin work. Noticed I passed the 10,000 post mark here at Susan's  :D

C

Cyndi,

I am glad you had a nice time share with your daughter and BF.
Have fun with the puzzles.


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #535 on: May 03, 2020, 07:59:55 am »
Cyndi,


Do enjoy the rest of this weekend and this wonderful spring week.

I might go bike riding after (online) church.  If not, a nice walk.  Things are greening nicely and it is a refreshing look to see all the blossoms and greenery, flowers popping up, and some warm sunshine.

Take care!

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #536 on: May 03, 2020, 08:13:44 am »
Cyndi,


Do enjoy the rest of this weekend and this wonderful spring week.

I might go bike riding after (online) church.  If not, a nice walk.  Things are greening nicely and it is a refreshing look to see all the blossoms and greenery, flowers popping up, and some warm sunshine.

Take care!

Chrissy

Good Morning Chrissy - thanks for your nice post. I've been reading the boards and sipping coffee here. Do enjoy being outside, the Rhodies are in bloom here, and Mom's day is just around the corner, a great time to be outside, except, it's raining here currently and 44f , expecting showers on and off all week. I'll be doing yard work in between showers  :) I'll find some time to ride bicycle.....

Have a lovely day

C
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #537 on: May 04, 2020, 03:30:50 pm »
Monday afternoon - 63f high clouds, finished a few hours of yard work out, baked some brownies, and finished this 500 piece we swapped with our daughter  :) gonna go ride the bicycle out here in a bit....



 "Glade Creek Mill" Babcock State Park, West Virginia

C


kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #538 on: May 04, 2020, 03:31:28 pm »
Congratulations on solving the puzzle.


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: A day in a life of Cynthia Ann
« Reply #539 on: May 06, 2020, 09:02:26 am »
Wednesday morning 49f overcast, expecting 80's this weekend for Mom's day. Practicing retirement this week and next, it's been lovely, picking and choosing when to wake up, I get 6 weeks paid vacation this year, use it or loose it. My sweetie went to her work yesterday (it's deemed essential), so broke out the bass guitar and jammed several hours. Taught myself several new tunes keeping my musical mind active and my fingers limber.  Been riding my bicycle with the warmer weather here now, and plan on going hiking soon, the parks are open here. We are in phase 1 of 4 of economic re-opening here. The grocery store yesterday was calm and relaxed, not crowded when we went, unusually good shopping conditions. Bought lots of baking supplies, so when the going gets tough, the tough start baking  :) Started a new 500 piece puzzle on the table yesterday, it's been a fun past time doing those. We are getting together with your youngest and her boyfriend this Sunday for Mom's day, should be nice. I have over 35 years with this company now, and a co worker asked me if I was going to retire. It's like the furthest thing from my mind now, it was a fantasy I cooked up last year about retiring, the world changed this year....

Have a great day

Cyndi
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

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