Author Topic: Being stealth and non-op at the same time?  (Read 906 times)

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Offline DebbySoufflage

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Being stealth and non-op at the same time?
« on: May 01, 2019, 10:17:20 am »
I am non-op but would also like to stealth once I have had my BA and have graduated from uni.

Are there other trans women here who also are stealth and non-op simultaneously?

I will obviously have to come out to my partner at one time, but I prefer to be stealth around colleagues,... once I graduated.

I’m passable but currently open about my trans status. I would like to change that openness because I prefer the treatment I get when people don’t know.

Being transgender is not something I’m ashamed of but it’s not something that I think is worth to mention every single time either. You know?


Re: Being stealth and non-op at the same time?
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2019, 11:33:44 am »

I was effectively ‘stealth’ to most people for a year, living fulltime as myself without any surgeries from October 2016 to October 2017.  I was ‘out’ to two groups, a community service club I was president of when I went fulltime, and a church where I have been doing educational work.

In my condo, in restaurants, going to HOA board meetings, clubs, teaching classes, and regular daily activity, I disclosed to nobody, and was almost always treated as the woman I am.  A modest amount of preparation before going out, and some reasonable choices in wardrobe had me quite passable.

I did get ‘read’ a couple of times, by homeless people with their hyper-awareness of their surroundings.  That is a risk with or without surgery, though.

Offline JoyJoy

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Re: Being stealth and non-op at the same time?
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2019, 01:14:18 am »
It's doable and eventually you might forget you're trans. I had plenty of moments like this.
With my post-op abdo swelling I half expect my colleagues to ask if I'm pregnant, I return to work next week - very anxious.

But back on point, it's possible and fulfilling enough if surgery is not on the cards  :)
There will be moments of anxiety, I've worked for the same company for 4 years and nobody knows I'm trans. You will likely hear some pretty disparaging things about transsexualism from people who you love as dear friends, they think you're cis. If trans politics hits front pages you will be discussing it with those around you, you'll be shocked to see the amount of hate that's harboured for us... Worse is that you'll probably find yourself agreeing simply as a knee jerk reaction out of self-preservation, and the longer you go without telling them the harder it becomes.

Just my experience.