Topic: Being Jane

[Northern Star Girl]

@Jane.Shannon
Dear Jane:
I can fully understand what you stated in your last posting. 
Yes indeed, in my own experience and my personal opinion it is vitally important for you to
maintain activities with family members and even develop more personal interests, activities and hobbies.

You are correct regarding your statement:
    "Transitioning is a good time to practice the art of patience."

It is indeed easy to get lost in the daily tasks of transitioning.... but it is a long process so it is very important to maintain your involvement in your other activities.

Once you are coming near the "end" of your transition, however you will define it,  you can participate in any activity that interests you.... as the person that you have become.

Stay focused on ALL of your life activities that include your important transition efforts...
Thank you for sharing and posting.

I am, as always, wishing you well, happiness, and success.
Stay safe, stay healthy.
 
HUGS and HUGS and HUGS,
Danielle

[Jane.Shannon]

Danielle,

You are so right in this comment.  "Once you are coming near the "end" of your transition, however you will define it..."  One thing I realized early in my actual transition is that I didn't choose to be transgender, but I did decide to stop fighting it and to actually transition.  I also get to control when I move from "transitioning" to "transitioned."  The ownership of this simple concept that I control my transition, how far it goes and how fast it goes, gives me great peace of mind.

[sarahc]

   I actively work to maintain hobbies and interests outside of being transgender.  I sometimes feel I am getting lost in transition.  That my desire to become female will overwhelm all aspects of my personality.  I fear coming out of the other side of transition and realizing I have lost myself.  I fear the day I realize my transition is really complete, but I don’t know what else to do with myself.  It is sometimes hard for me to maintain these interests, but it is very much worth the effort.

But Covid has complicated staying involved in normal activities so much! In theory, I would love to get back out there and so all the usual fun social activities that I'm involved in. But alas...pandemic.

So I have changed my mindset to just say, "It's ok to focus on transition right now. I'm only six months away from both transition and the pandemic being mostly behind me, and by then things will be great!"

That's how I am staying positive. Focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.

But with GCS imminent, I still have a lot of tunnel to get through. And I really do need to stay focused for the next few months on un-fun dilation. Although I'm not a journal writer, I'm probably going to create a journal to help me through these last few months and stay focused on the routine. If I get through the next six months with healthy genital bits and my sanity in tact, it will one of the accomplishments that I will be most proud of.

Sarah

[Jane.Shannon]

Most of my hobbies are one I do solo.  Sometimes my kids or my father-in-law will join me, but largely I do them alone.  I guess if your hobbies are more community, or social, based it could be very challenging to practice them.

[Jane.Shannon]

I started coordinating with a surgeon at the VA for an orchiectomy in late April.  I am both excited and nervous about this major step forward in transition.

[Northern Star Girl]

I started coordinating with a surgeon at the VA for an orchiectomy in late April.  I am both excited and nervous about this major step forward in transition.

@Jane.Shannon
Dear Jane:
I am excited for you that you are seriously considering your next big step in your transition.

This type of surgery would make most men cringe, but as the transitioning woman
you are this certainly can be an important step.

Thank you for sharing and posting... please keep us all updated as you feel comfortable sharing.

HUGS and as always, best wishes to you,
Danielle

[Jane.Shannon]

@Jane.Shannon
Dear Jane:
This type of surgery would make most men cringe, but as the transitioning woman
you are this certainly can be an important step.
HUGS and as always, best wishes to you,
Danielle

Thank you, you are always so supportive!!!

I think that is a very interesting note, about this procedure making most men cringe.  I cannot think of "how trans are you?" questions.  I guess since I see such a surgery being a step forward, a step in a positive direction means I am trans enough.  I know the "trans enough" question process is toxic, but I cannot help but reflect on it, as I used to wonder that very question.  I have known I was trans for years now, but  I only started figuring out what being trans means in the last two years. 

I will admit to a certain sadness about it, but ironically not at the loss of a body part.  I think this will be too far for my wife, she has no interesting being physical with another woman.  I have known I needed to transition for a long time, but I still wish I didn't need to do so.  As the dysphoria wanes, I know more and more what I need to do to feel like a whole person.  We still have a very close, loving relationship, but I miss having a love affair that is emotional, spiritual, and physical.

I think back on a question poised years ago on another forum.  "If you ran into Morpheus, from the Matrix, and he offered you the blue pill, to be fully male, or the pink, to be fully female.  Which would you take?"  My answer then, and still today, is that given the choice I would take the pink pill.  Without hesitation, doubt, or looking back,  But if he me offered me only the blue pill, I would take that it just to not be trans. 

[Jane.Shannon]

To qualify for the VA to perform an orchiectomy there are two major requirements.
1.  Be on HRT for at least one year.
2.  Change your name.

I passed the one year mark in August, and I change my name in the same month.  After waiting 73 days, VA has processed my request to change my name and gender marker. 

I informed the surgeon this afternoon, and she is forwarding my information to her team to start scheduling.  Seems like it is coming together.

I started coordinating with a surgeon at the VA for an orchiectomy in late April.  I am both excited and nervous about this major step forward in transition.

[Northern Star Girl]

@Jane.Shannon
Dear Jane:
We are all rooting for your success in getting the surgery approval that you are seeking.
I will be eagerly looking for your updates regarding this....
Thank you for sharing.
HUGS and wishing you well.
Danielle

To qualify for the VA to perform an orchiectomy there are two major requirements.
1.  Be on HRT for at least one year.
2.  Change your name.

I passed the one year mark in August, and I change my name in the same month.  After waiting 73 days, VA has processed my request to change my name and gender marker. 

I informed the surgeon this afternoon, and she is forwarding my information to her team to start scheduling.  Seems like it is coming together.