Community Conversation > Significant Others talk

How to Get Turned On


My husband wants to have sex three times a week. But how am I supposed to get turned on by a man dressed as a woman who wants to be treated as a woman. The only thing I really want is BDSM but he refused to hurt me. I just don't know how to please him.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Never having had sexual relations in my life, I am probably the last person you should be taking advice from but you might want to explore different types of foreplay. Possibly you husband can come up with something that's not harmful but will still get you into the right frame of mind. If that doesn't work, you might consider some form of couples consoling that could help you reach common ground.

Remember that a woman is more difficult to get excited about sex. Testosterone make a male interested in sex with the least little suggestion where as it's more difficult to get a female interested. You husband really needs to do some of the work figuring this one out.

Would light bondage work to get her in the mood and give you enough to work with?

I know with more extreme kinks often partners can get a little anxious, especially if it's a bit new.

Sex really is a partnership, you need to work together to find something you can both enjoy.
Maybe start slow? Work up to the more kinky stuff?

How long have you two been married? Was he into the bdsm previously?
3 times a week is... phew.. pretty exhausting long term I have to say. Is that just an average or did you seriously get told "we're pencilling this into the schedule"?

I find a rich fantasy life helps me a lot. I find sex physically painful a lot of the time but I still crave it because i'm an idiot I suppose, so i've developed a rather good ability to sort of disassociate and focus on things that turn me on. Sort of.. my own personal porno in my head lol.
Worth a shot? (and that sounds terrible for my poor husband but to be fair, he KNOWS i'm not really into the whole being female thing so imagining myself as a guy helps my dysphoria and makes it more enjoyable)

I could be way off base here but have you sat her down and tried to negotiate this with her? She wants something from you and you from there some middle ground where she can present herself in a way that you would find acceptable and is there a level of BDSM that you would go to and so would she? I am just wondering if the absolutes of it all are getting in the way and maybe some compromise on both sides could see you move closer together and find a middle ground where you both get a bit of what you both need?

Just a thought


Maid Marion:
Maybe you could be "forced" to  feminize him. First putting on makeup or painting her nails.  Perhaps escalating to teaching her to do it herself.


[0] Message Index

Go to full version