Author Topic: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?  (Read 2982 times)

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Offline Alice

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Re: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #40 on: July 26, 2020, 07:05:38 pm »
Pammie,

I guess it was a good thing but I changed jobs before I went full time. Other considerations forced myself out of the job at the time.

Alice

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #41 on: September 20, 2020, 06:33:56 am »
No it wasn’t. It changed so much. I was basically under threat of being outed to my children from then on and ultimately brought my agenda forward 9-12 months!
I’m not complaining now though!



I am glad things are working out in terms of your schedule!   :)

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline CaelaNotKayla

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Re: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #42 on: September 20, 2020, 09:37:27 am »
Well, everyone who knows me has seen me in some combination of women's clothes, larger breasts, painted nails, more femme glasses, higher pitched voice, wigs, earrings- just about everything except facial makeup.  But since I'm a widow everyone is assuming it's grief- so I don't count those as unintentional outings. 

So truly unintentional outings???  I got carded for the first time in years! (I guess Caela really does look that much younger)- and had to tell the waitress that she wouldn't believe it was me on my ID.  I was thinking too fast one day and used my deadname talking to a shopkeeper- and he did a double take.  I also have one credit card that I thought 20+ years ago would be good to get my picture on, so that always causes fun when I forget and use it.

Caela
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Offline Pammie

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Re: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #43 on: September 20, 2020, 01:52:55 pm »

I am glad things are working out in terms of your schedule!   :)

Chrissy
Thanks Chrissy. Tbh I’ve just been posting in my blog how life has shown me how unimportant my stress at that time ultimately was.
I’m glad my timings were pulled forward, I needed to be fully myself to cope with the last 14 months


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Offline ChrissyRyan

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Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #44 on: October 11, 2020, 05:46:21 pm »
I do remember once when I was out and forgot to remove the little bit of makeup I had on earlier when out as myself.  Now I keep some makeup remover wipes in the car, just in case.

No one said anything that evening but I think all I did was to go through a restaurant drive through and I went in the drugstore or a dollar store.  So that was not outing myself but it could have been a close call.  :)

Chrissy


Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Online sarahc

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Re: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #45 on: October 11, 2020, 07:30:55 pm »
I planned my transition very carefully to minimize the risk of leaks / me making mistakes. I really did not want the news to spread without my authorization. And incredibly, it all went according to plan. There were a few close calls of me passing acquaintances on the street. But I had lost so much weight and my appearance had changed so much from the hormones and longer hair, I was unrecognizable. (Although one person did a double-take but couldn't figure it out.)

At this point in my transition, I really don't care how people find out. So: mission accomplished, no accidental outings.

Sarah
----
48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #46 on: October 11, 2020, 07:33:11 pm »
I planned my transition very carefully to minimize the risk of leaks / me making mistakes. I really did not want the news to spread without my authorization. And incredibly, it all went according to plan. There were a few close calls of me passing acquaintances on the street. But I had lost so much weight and my appearance had changed so much from the hormones and longer hair, I was unrecognizable. (Although one person did a double-take but couldn't figure it out.)

At this point in my transition, I really don't care how people find out. So: mission accomplished, no accidental outings.

Sarah


Excellent! 

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Rachel

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Re: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #47 on: October 11, 2020, 09:42:46 pm »
I assume people see me as trans but unless they know me I think I pass pretty well. I am so comfortable with who I am that a few times when in a conversation I mention my transition and the other person says that they did not know. Then I think to myself are they being kind or do I pass.

I make it a point to never out myself now. I look different now than my pic.

I really like younger guys. So when covid is done I will get a face lift and some loose tummy skin removed. I have some deep stretch marks that Dr. RBL commented on and when I told here how much weight I lost she was very surprised. Maybe I will have them removed to some extent.

I think I am seeing myself as female and not trans or not in transition but as me. So I made a decision to not out myself and to just have fun being me and that is another story.

Rachel
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Online sarahc

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Re: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #48 on: October 12, 2020, 06:33:09 am »
I have some deep stretch marks that Dr. RBL commented on and when I told here how much weight I lost she was very surprised.
Rachel

@@Rachel

I, too, have some stretch marks, and I have surgery with Bluebond in January...I wonder if she'll comment on my stretch marks as well... ??? ???

Sarah
----
48 years young.
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.phpVF/topic,244009.0.html)
VFS: September 2019; three-month report here
Full-time: April 2020
FFS: August 2020
SRS: January 2021

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #49 on: December 12, 2020, 06:32:09 am »
Last week I went through a drive through presenting as male but I for some reason ordered with a higher feminine voice, poor as it is, and had an odd look from the lady at the window collecting money.

Not an out but weird!


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Megan.

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Re: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #50 on: December 12, 2020, 06:35:35 am »
I assume people see me as trans but unless they know me I think I pass pretty well. I am so comfortable with who I am that a few times when in a conversation I mention my transition and the other person says that they did not know. Then I think to myself are they being kind or do I pass.

I make it a point to never out myself now. I look different now than my pic.

I really like younger guys. So when covid is done I will get a face lift and some loose tummy skin removed. I have some deep stretch marks that Dr. RBL commented on and when I told here how much weight I lost she was very surprised. Maybe I will have them removed to some extent.

I think I am seeing myself as female and not trans or not in transition but as me. So I made a decision to not out myself and to just have fun being me and that is another story.

Rachel
I had an 'extended' Abdominoplasty about 4 years ago. Any questions just ask. X

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Offline ChrissyRyan

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Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #51 on: December 12, 2020, 06:43:13 am »
I had an 'extended' Abdominoplasty about 4 years ago. Any questions just ask. X

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@Megan.

Megan,

I never heard of that surgery!  Plastic surgery along the waist area?  Narrowing the waist?  Like body contouring?

There is a Web site I saw in a list of transgender resources that showcases all kinds of transgender surgeries, although it looks like it is more for FTMs.  I am squeamish to look at pictures, so I have never gone beyond the list of surgeries to look at them.  It is called www.transbucket.com If you explore it, let us know if it is a useful Web site or not if you want to. 


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Megan.

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Re: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #52 on: December 12, 2020, 06:44:00 am »
@@Rachel

I, too, have some stretch marks, and I have surgery with Bluebond in January...I wonder if she'll comment on my stretch marks as well... ??? ???

Sarah
My surgeon had to modify their technique due to my excess skin, I think my scar lines are in a different (to typical) location as a result. I'm still very happy with the appearance though.

You may want to ask you surgeon if there will be any impact. X

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Offline Megan.

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Re: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #53 on: December 12, 2020, 06:50:28 am »
@Megan.

Megan,

I never heard of that surgery!  Plastic surgery along the waist area?  Narrowing the waist?  Like body contouring?

There is a Web site I saw in a list of transgender resources that showcases all kinds of transgender surgeries, although it looks like it is more for FTMs.  I am squeamish to look at pictures, so I have never gone beyond the list of surgeries to look at them.  It is called www.transbucket.com If you explore it, let us know if it is a useful Web site or not if you want to. 


Chrissy
It's not a transgender surgery as such.

I'd lost about 100lbs, and had a lot of loose skin on my tummy.

A standard Abdominoplasty removes a strip of skin and rejoins, giving a scar (hip to hip) along the pantyline.

An extended (or inverse-T) version is more substantial. They essentially remove a whole triangle of skin from the tummy, and relocate the belly button back up to a natural position. I have a scar hip-to-hip, and from that up to my solar plexus. In additional to the skin removal, the surgeon also used permanent sutures to pull in and tighten all my abdominal muscles.

I had an inguinal hernia repair at the same time, which was what prompted the surgery initially.

My thread on it is here:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=214780.0

X.

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Offline Pammie

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Re: Have you ever unintentionally or accidentally outed yourself?
« Reply #54 on: December 12, 2020, 06:52:42 am »
I think I am seeing myself as female and not trans or not in transition but as me. So I made a decision to not out myself and to just have fun being me and that is another story.

Rachel
I totally agree Rachel!


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