Topic: friendships and loneliness

[davidsalata]

i will try and talk about this in the least negative way possible haha, but it's a real issue that i feel a lot of people are possibly going through, so i wanted to start this thread, and maybe make new friends Smiley Happy

at the moment, i'm  first year uni student, fresh out of high school. I feel like ever since high school, i have become more aware of the fact that my current friendship group are not genuine. I have always only had a handful of close friends, but now i am questioning that. The current people in my life have rendered me to be that background friend, the second choice friend and the forgotten/excluded one, and the rest of them are tighter than ever. It questions where it all went wrong. The current handful of friends in my life, which i used to call my best friends, have now become a case of zero effort to maintain our relationship, <not allowed>, lying and exclusion, to the point where if i receive a text or something from them, i actually feel a drop in my stomach and i get anxious (though not anxiety, just nervous). this feeling just makes me want to cut all ties, but then i'm faced with the, perhaps worse fact, that i will literally no longer have any friends in my life.

so just wondering, if anyone else is going through this struggle, we can get through it together

[Maid Marion]

Hi Davidslata,

I suggest making more friendships.  Try to make them based on common interests, such as hobbies you enjoy. 

The first year is tough for many students. Keep in mind that some potentially good friends may be too busy studying. 

Good luck and don't neglect your studies!


Marion

[Northern Star Girl]

i will try and talk about this in the least negative way possible haha, but it's a real issue that i feel a lot of people are possibly going through, so i wanted to start this thread, and maybe make new friends Smiley Happy

at the moment, i'm  first year uni student, fresh out of high school. I feel like ever since high school, i have become more aware of the fact that my current friendship group are not genuine. I have always only had a handful of close friends, but now i am questioning that. The current people in my life have rendered me to be that background friend, the second choice friend and the forgotten/excluded one, and the rest of them are tighter than ever. It questions where it all went wrong. The current handful of friends in my life, which i used to call my best friends, have now become a case of zero effort to maintain our relationship, <not allowed>, lying and exclusion, to the point where if i receive a text or something from them, i actually feel a drop in my stomach and i get anxious (though not anxiety, just nervous). this feeling just makes me want to cut all ties, but then i'm faced with the, perhaps worse fact, that i will literally no longer have any friends in my life.

so just wondering, if anyone else is going through this struggle, we can get through it together

@davidsalata
Dear DavidSalata:
    Please know that I am not ignoring your concerns that you expressed and I am not trying to sidetrack your first posting.... BUT.... FIRST THINGS FIRST.... I need to Officially Welcome you to Susan's Place and the Forums, and give you important information that will help you to have a productive and enjoyable time here.

    I am so very glad that you have become a member here and this is your very first posting.   I am happy to see that you found the Susan's Place Forums.

    As you post on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are.   I expect that you will be getting many members offering their thoughts and suggestions as you continue to post here. 

    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation and as you continue to feel free to share with all of us.
 
    I also want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place. 
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here.

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
   
    I have attached important and informative LINKS that will help you to navigate around the Forums and will allow you to enjoy the features here.     
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

[Northern Star Girl]

@davidsalata
Dear DavidSalata:
Please plan to write a post and tell us more about yourself in the YOUTH Introductions Forum so that other members will be aware of your arrival... therefore you will be able to share your thoughts with more members here.
     
Thank you again for joining Susan's Place and being involved in the Forums here.
Best wishes to you,
Danielle
NOTE: Now after all of this Greeting Stuff I will let you have your thread back so you can pursue answers to your concerns and questions.
Other members here will certainly be along to give you their comments and suggestions that you may be seeking

Best Wishes to you as you feel so led to be involved in Susan's Place.
Danielle

[jackie3816]

Im an introvert and gave withdrawn to the point that i dont have any friends

But in your case you are youmg and awarenthat you are trans. That is pretty great!

If people fall away they are most likely not your friends.. I would consider those who stick by you friends and the rest acquaintances.

I think the reality is that we all have much fewer friends than we thought we did.

Hang in there

[Linde]

Not all friendships seem to be made to last.  A couple, which I considered to be my best friends for 25 years, fell by the wayside once I came out to them.  They declared me to be mentally ill, and I should be put into an institution.  And they would pray for me!  That was the outcome of 25 years of being together very close!