Author Topic: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes  (Read 17164 times)

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Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #20 on: June 29, 2019, 06:57:23 am »


Am I being drawn into a web???

My plans are adjustable to the many changes. This is going to grow as the spirits of nature rule, and not by my will alone.  I do not wish to be alone!

No one can guarantee their own life or death. Arguments that money helps are sustained, but in the end irrelevant to this fact.


Good morning there in the garden, tomatoes are flowering.

You are knocking on the door to a dependency, having access to HRT / Dr / Scipts all covered by insurance sounds wonderful, and it is, but once you step into this world, you probably will not want to stop. I sometimes wonder about the possibilities that my lovely prescribing Dr retires or moves away, or I get a new health plan that no longer covers my HRT, or worse, or my body is no longer capable of using HRT, or access to the medicines needed are hideously cut off, by policy shifts and manipulation of the medical industrial complex completely out of our hands (not likely, but possible). I agree with your statement above, there are no guarantees in life, nothing remains the same, it's a constantly moving target and dynamic. It's up to us to make the most of the life we are given. You have an opportunity in the here and now Maddie, being flexible in your plans is a good approach considering the many "what if's". Money is not everything (it can help), your health and well being are. Think long term, create a workable framework of decades. You are not alone in this world, you are too personable to be a loner, you make new friends, you move from one scene to the next, what is the next act in the big show ?

Forecast is for rain, and with my naked eye saw, the falling rain coming down on me. I cast my fate to the wind...

Hugs

Cynthia -
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline HappyMoni

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #21 on: June 29, 2019, 07:57:46 am »
I don't think I am very poetic in my contribution to the garden. I think in gardening I allow room for weeds. It can't always be flowers.  As far as HRT goes, getting on makes you feel better, why think of getting off. It is no more an addition than any other chemical we need to function. Our bodies just happen to not make much naturally. I don't know about the medical profession there but here in MD, everybody seems very cool with trans  people. Never had a problem and they are very good with names. Wait, I did have one problem at my colonoscopy and I ended up getting an apology  from two doctors, one the head of the program. They said the problem was one misinformed receptionist and that it would be addressed so no one else had the same problem. It wasn't name but listed gender instead. I never made a fuss, but I just mentioned my embarrassment. I doubt you will have any problem.
I'll be off the boards on vacation for a week so take good care of my weeds for me. lol Okay?
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)
"Moni" is pronounced like "Bonnie"

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS, great repair.

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Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #22 on: June 29, 2019, 08:02:06 am »
I don't think I am very poetic in my contribution to the garden. I think in gardening I allow room for weeds. It can't always be flowers.  As far as HRT goes, getting on makes you feel better, why think of getting off. It is no more an addition than any other chemical we need to function. Our bodies just happen to not make much naturally. I don't know about the medical profession there but here in MD, everybody seems very cool with trans  people. Never had a problem and they are very good with names. Wait, I did have one problem at my colonoscopy and I ended up getting an apology  from two doctors, one the head of the program. They said the problem was one misinformed receptionist and that it would be addressed so no one else had the same problem. It wasn't name but listed gender instead. I never made a fuss, but I just mentioned my embarrassment. I doubt you will have any problem.
I'll be off the boards on vacation for a week so take good care of my weeds for me. lol Okay?


Enjoy your vacation Moni.  You are sweet and I enjoy reading your posts.

Chrissy
Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline HappyMoni

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #23 on: June 29, 2019, 08:14:10 am »

Enjoy your vacation Moni.  You are sweet and I enjoy reading your posts.

Chrissy
Thanks Chrissy love reading your posts too. Now for the important stuff. Oh waiter, Ill have my 'mudslide' down by the pool. lol
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)
"Moni" is pronounced like "Bonnie"

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS, great repair.

]

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #24 on: June 29, 2019, 08:15:39 am »
Thanks Chrissy love reading your posts too. Now for the important stuff. Oh waiter, Ill have my 'mudslide' down by the pool. lol

@HappyMoni -  :) :) Have a nice time away Moni !

C -
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline KathyLauren

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #25 on: June 29, 2019, 12:15:19 pm »
I do have an appt at that time, but is at "Inclusion Clinic" not "Infectious Disease Center",

It may well be similar to the clinic I go to.  95% of their business is dealing with STDs.  Trans health is a sideline for them.

On the other hand, I would expect them to be more trans-sensitive than to use your dead name.  The clinic I go to is very, very careful about that kind of stuff.  When I first went there, I had to sign in with my dead name because that's what was on my health card.  But they immediately asked me my preferred name, and that is what they have called me ever since. 

They are vary tactful when calling to confirm appointments.  They identify themselves as "the Health Centre".  Their full name is the "_____ Sexual Health Centre", but they aren't going to say that until confirming whom they are speaking to.  They ask for Kathleen, and are about the only people who aren't fazed by my voice when I say, "This is Kathleen."

They have all kinds of sexual health posters hanging on their walls, as you would expect in such a clinic.  Many of them are modified, with cis-normative terminology whited-out, and trans-sensitive terminology written in instead.

I hope that the dead-naming by your clinic was an isolated incident and that they show the same kind of sensitivity as mine does.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2019-10-18 Phone consultation for GRS; 2020-03-11 GRS!




Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #26 on: June 29, 2019, 07:02:13 pm »
Hi Kathy,
It looks like the inclusion clinic, infectious disease, and a couple other specialties are working out of the same place. I think they only see trans clients a couple of days per month.

The naming thing has happened a couple times with the clinic now. I will ask about it when I go there, but am definitely  not going to feel upset about it, unless it is intentional.
A while back here on the forums, I was advised to "run away" from the trans counselor who wrote my referral letter, because of her repeated "he-ing" me. I don't regret leaving that counselor.  But wasn't sure if this thing happening with the medical clinic was a warning sign of worse to come.  Especially  considering there may be prescriptions involved now.

I imagine the stakes get higher all the time.
Welcome to the next phase, Ms Garden :)

I'm more worried about getting the right care than I am about people properly addressing me. 
I misgender myself often enough to have plenty of patience with others on this!

Offline Rachel

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #27 on: June 29, 2019, 08:50:30 pm »
Hi Maddie,

I have had about 500 hours of electrolysis. I do one hour ever Thursday and one hour every other Tuesday. The opposite Tuesday is Therapy. I also do 4 to 6 hours a month in one session at Papillion with numbing needles. The next two sessions at Papillion are 6 hours. They use numbing needles.

GCS electrolysis, I did 6 sessions with numbing needles at Papillion 5 weeks apart and was done 6 months before GCS. If you get GCS make sure you do hair removal even if they scrape the follicles.

When I was on HRT for a years or so my body and leg hair was almost nil.

I use super numb and ice packs for the one hour sessions.
---------
 
When I decided to get GCS I made the paperwork out for name change. It took 6 weeks and those 6 weeks were very long. I think it was 3 weeks after I came out at work until I had my hearing. The judge heard me last and with an empty court room asked me a bunch of questions to learn about trans and transition.

I do think it is difficult for medical people to look at a chart and see a legal name and then think to look for a preferred name. I was not going to have my assigned at birth name on my medical record for FFS and later for GCS and BA.

There is not WPATH standard for changing your name legally. It is for work ID and preferred name. I was not going to have procedures and be called my old name.

So I think the old name and medical record issue is real and very difficult for a medical person looking at a lap top.

Name change takes time for a hearing then there is drivers license, social security, professional licenses, diplomas and post GCS 10 year passport.
--------------------------------
Garden, this is the first year I planted in 3 years. I plan to get some lavender plants tomorrow. You can always add to your garden and if need be transplant something. The most important thing to remember about a garden it to water, weed and feed.




Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #28 on: July 01, 2019, 12:50:37 pm »
Garden, this is the first year I planted in 3 years. I plan to get some lavender plants tomorrow. You can always add to your garden and if need be transplant something. The most important thing to remember about a garden it to water, weed and feed.

Lavender :)

Rachel thank you so much for clearly sharing your experience and perspective.  I read through your post at least 3times, and find plenty of things to look up that I didn't know or think about before. Like numbing needles...those sound promising!.

500+ hours of electro? Holy holsteins! That shakes my hopes that another year/year and a half I might have the face clear! At least it clears my expectations back down.

Embracing long seasons of change

Offline Quinn

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #29 on: July 02, 2019, 07:55:27 am »
I think im at about 170 hours of thermolysis it might be a little bit more but i would need to look it up.

I only do 1 hour a week now but from December 2017 to around march 2019 i was 3 hours a week. Now   she only works about 15 minutes on the face to clean up. In the same time period i have also had brows done they are getting close to done, ears inside and out, underarms, feet & hands.

I would say underarms, feet, hands, ears and brows will be complete by end of the year if not sooner.
Will probably need to start speading out the appointment even more in between than a week pretty soon.

I had an incredibly thick dense beard so i wonder Racheal if maybe you should move to some other type of hair removal if you are 500 hours and still going

My thermolysis technician wants to start inside my nose OOOOOOOOWWWWWWW ive been putting that off but might have to start a little at a time

Maddie everyone is different you may also be done sooner or at least get to a point where there is only spread out clean up appointments

Offline KathyLauren

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #30 on: July 02, 2019, 08:26:12 am »
My thermolysis technician wants to start inside my nose OOOOOOOOWWWWWWW ive been putting that off but might have to start a little at a time

My electrologist has done a bit of work inside my nose.  It's not nearly as painful as I expected.  Not a bit like the upper lip.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2019-10-18 Phone consultation for GRS; 2020-03-11 GRS!




Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #31 on: July 02, 2019, 08:31:36 am »
My electrologist has done a bit of work inside my nose.  It's not nearly as painful as I expected. 

it makes me cringe just reading your words Kathy  :o
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #32 on: July 02, 2019, 11:33:28 am »

@KathyLauren
Dear Kathy:
>>>I agree with
@CynthiaAnn
Tears are flowing out of my eyes as I read your description regarding nose hair removal!!!

      Owieeee !!!
Fortunately I did not have to personally have that done.

Hang on tight  @Maddie   your time may be coming soon???
HUGS.... and tissues please!
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
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A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
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Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #33 on: July 02, 2019, 08:40:36 pm »
@KathyLauren
Inspired by you, i asked my electrolysist to do a few inside my nose today.
Thank you for that ;)


Hang on tight  @Maddie   your time may be coming soon???
HUGS.... and tissues please!
Danielle[/size]

May there always be a box of tissues handy in the garden, under the overhang, next to cactus and purple flowers.


Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #34 on: July 05, 2019, 09:57:42 pm »
Two plants share a box.

Tom is a sprawling tomato vine.

She is a spicy little pepper plant.

Tom is protective of his little pepper, and wants to cover her with his leaves.

But she needs the sun to grow.

She loves Tom, and will never forget what he went through to protect her.

Her love transcends time.
She will be there for him in the past, and whenever the past intrudes upon the now.

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #35 on: July 05, 2019, 10:07:25 pm »
Very thought provoking @Maddie - Themes of time appeal to my senses, she is of the present season...

C -
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #36 on: July 09, 2019, 06:47:09 am »
There are many reasons why things won't grow.

I have lived much of my life where there wasn't sufficient light. No southern exposure.
And other factors too, have stunted my growth and nearly killed me.
The parable of the seeds.

Over-tending is not optimal.  My instincts tell me that more is better. But my excessive efforts have yielded diminishing returns time and again.

Information has always been available.  Regardless of its form, the truth can be surrounded and hidden.  This tends to frustrate and cause fear in my soul.
My spirit animal has too often been the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand.

Because I didn't want to know, and so shut it all out.  Though I can read very well and use expensive words, I never advanced into high school level classes due to the intensity of what I went through then.
Couldn't handle the flood.
Even recently, I have barred myself from the internet for a year or more, thinking it would save my life to do so.

Cultivating the patience and discernment required to weed through the jungle. So I can work with scientific nature in my garden, and not against myself. And the same in the world.

Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #37 on: July 09, 2019, 07:13:19 am »
PS- If anyone that was following is wondering, I did have an Dr appt last week. I did not run away. All my steps have been forward. Tiny steps..
This is still being assimilated by the garden. I promise a report at some point.

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #38 on: July 09, 2019, 07:25:25 am »
If anyone that was following is wondering, I did have an Dr appt last week. I did not run away. All my steps have been forward. Tiny steps..
This is still being assimilated by the garden. I promise a report at some point.

 :) Good morning Maddie, I hope your day is a good one

C -
kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #39 on: July 09, 2019, 10:50:33 am »
PS- If anyone that was following is wondering, I did have an Dr appt last week. I did not run away. All my steps have been forward. Tiny steps..
This is still being assimilated by the garden. I promise a report at some point.

@Maddie
Dear Maddie:
Yes indeed, I will be looking forward to reading your forthcoming update report as you feel so led to share.

I love your writings and your parables that you compose....   
...very creative metaphoric prose that you write.

Thanks for sharing and I will continue to visit your "Garden" to read what you have next  :)


HUGS,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

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