Topic: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes

[Maddie]

Thank you hun!

@ Northern Star Girl

[Rachel]

Hi Maddie, the pics loogk very good.

[Maddie]

Thinking about an experience I had a long time ago.

Someone came to me and I was a woman   I believed it was Jesus and that it meant that I I wouldn't have to live and die without ever being a woman.

The thought that it happened for me so that I wouldn't have to live and die without being a woman...
This thing sustained me through years of desperation. I ask myself: Is taking the steps I'm transitioning now somehow turning back against His mercy?

Last summer I was shown both ends of two rainbows at once. Don't know true meaning. But I pledged my transition to those rainbows. This feels like a new covenant.

Mix in the doubts I've always had that it was Jesus who knew me as woman (girl actually). That name is what I called Him. This was overall a spiritual experience which did more to my mind than body.

I've been strongly told that it couldn't have been the LORD Jesus Christ. If I don't believe 100%, then maybe I should not tell anyone.

Well definitely not my psych or surgeon anyway.

I'm putting it out here because I don't want to be afraid anymore.

Looking for messages

[Northern Star Girl]

@Maddie
Regarding what you stated in your comment:
I've been strongly told that it couldn't have been the LORD Jesus Christ. If I don't believe 100%, then maybe I should not tell anyone.
*****I don't care how "strongly that you were told by others that it couldn't have been the LORD Jesus Christ" that came to you ... it is your experience and not theirs and there is no scriptural backing for anyone to say that it wasn't Jesus. 
There are plenty of scriptures that testify to the fact that after his resurrection Jesus appeared to people and talked to them.
Jesus appeared to Peter in Luke 24:34,
two disciples in Luke 24:13-16,
to the disciples and especially Thomas John 20:19-24,
to seven disciples John 21,
to more than 500 people 1 Corinthians 15:6,
to James and all the Apostles 1 Corinthians 15:7,
and to Saul in Acts 9:3-5.
...He comes to us individually, and together with the Holy Spirit which dwells in us through our Baptism - draws us to the Father. This is in accordance with His prayer of unity - John:17:21 That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us.

****It is and was YOUR experience and your belief and no one else can know otherwise.  Take the experience with you and believe in it.... and "don't be afraid anymore."

Thank you for sharing your story.  I trust that it will build up your faith.
HUGS, and blessings to you.
Danielle

Thinking about an experience I had a long time ago.

Someone came to me and I was a woman   I believed it was Jesus and that it meant that I I wouldn't have to live and die without ever being a woman.

The thought that it happened for me so that I wouldn't have to live and die without being a woman...
This thing sustained me through years of desperation. I ask myself: Is taking the steps I'm transitioning now somehow turning back against His mercy?

Last summer I was shown both ends of two rainbows at once. Don't know true meaning. But I pledged my transition to those rainbows. This feels like a new covenant.

Mix in the doubts I've always had that it was Jesus who knew me as woman (girl actually). That name is what I called Him. This was overall a spiritual experience which did more to my mind than body.

I've been strongly told that it couldn't have been the LORD Jesus Christ. If I don't believe 100%, then maybe I should not tell anyone.

Well definitely not my psych or surgeon anyway.

I'm putting it out here because I don't want to be afraid anymore.

Looking for messages

[Maddie]

Thank you Danielle.  I am afraid to post my beliefs and experiences due to the reactions and ignoring silence I recieve for them.

[Maddie]

Hi Maddie, the pics look very good.

Rachel thank you for all the support ever since you replied to my intro thread on this site.
Your story has helped me so much, especially your long running thread MTF in Need of Help.  Thank you for telling it like you do.
Even if we never met, I'll miss you.  If I  had control of life, we'd do beaches and movies, and stuff like meet guys together.  Glad you like the photos.

[Northern Star Girl]

Thank you Danielle.  I am afraid to post my beliefs and experiences due to the reactions and ignirance I recieve for them.

@Maddie
Dear Maddie:
Don’t be afraid to share your experiences and thoughts... it is good therapy to write things out... a good way to work through issues and difficulties.

The thing that we all have to be careful with is that here on the Forums there are a vast array of members with various beliefs and sensitivities.  Also we have a diverse membership of
political, ethnic, spiritual, religious, very young minors, etc. ... so we all have to be aware of what we post so it is not offensive to any of those groups in our membership.

Keep on sharing and venting your feelings and sharing your thoughts.
As I mention many times in my reply comments around the forums... all of that is good personal therapy.
HUGS.
Danielle

[Rachel]

Hi Maddie, I am off this week so give me a call.

Thanks for the compliment. I have some stuff going on and I do not want my thread linked. I may start a third thread and let the other two go for a while unlinked.

I will share an experience
I was asleep and my mother and father were standing in my bedroom doorway. My father was dead for 24 years and mother was dead for 4 years when I had the dream in 2015. I was going to fully transition and they asked me if I was going to take care of my then wife and our daughter. I said I would and they nodded and I awoke. Was that just a dream?

Was it my brain just processing my thoughts or was it some kind of spiritual thing. I do not know; however, I think of that time often. I will always take care of those two people the best I can. I am now the age my brother and father died. Life is shorter than we think, more complex and yet can be much simpler.

My nephew died from an OD recently. He said you really do not need much in life to get by. He struggled every day to be clean. He failed often but he continued the journey. He had the big book as he called it. There were four things that helped. His parents, his work, his meetings and the big book. Work became virtual as well as meetings and the struggle became too much. I like to think he is at peace and I hope he had found rest. I know the big book comforted him in his daily struggles. I do know he had strong faith and was a good person. Ponder that when you see a H addict on the sidewalk.

[Maddie]

Thank you for sharing your experience.
Sorry for the loss of your nephew. Rest in peace.
My life has been affected strongly by drugs alchohol overdoses and death. 
My heart hurts and I do ponder all the good inside the lost souls and wasted body shells.
I will call you.

[Maddie]

Cherry tomatoes are finally here!
🍅 🍅 🍅🍅🍅🍅 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

[Northern Star Girl]

Cherry tomatoes are finally here!
🍅 🍅 🍅🍅🍅🍅 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

@Maddie:
Dear Maddie:
Are you growing the bigger tomatoes too....   I am a tomato person, I usually load up my salads with them or just have a plate of sliced tomatoes with my favorite salad dressing...   of course when I grill hamburgers I need a big slice of tomato on it as well.

Pictures? "

Danielle

[Maddie]

My porch garden is very small. 
I have two "Super100" cherry tomato plants.  No larger tomatoes.
I put a photo as my avatar
 

[JudiBlueEyes]

They look tasty!  Enjoy!

[madeleine]

Thinking about an experience I had a long time ago.

Someone came to me and I was a woman   I believed it was Jesus and that it meant that I I wouldn't have to live and die without ever being a woman.

The thought that it happened for me so that I wouldn't have to live and die without being a woman...
This thing sustained me through years of desperation. I ask myself: Is taking the steps I'm transitioning now somehow turning back against His mercy?

Last summer I was shown both ends of two rainbows at once. Don't know true meaning. But I pledged my transition to those rainbows. This feels like a new covenant.

Mix in the doubts I've always had that it was Jesus who knew me as woman (girl actually). That name is what I called Him. This was overall a spiritual experience which did more to my mind than body.

I've been strongly told that it couldn't have been the LORD Jesus Christ. If I don't believe 100%, then maybe I should not tell anyone.

Well definitely not my psych or surgeon anyway.

I'm putting it out here because I don't want to be afraid anymore.

Looking for messages

You had an amazing experience unique to you.  It sounds like a kind of visionary or spiritual experience and I think you were very lucky to have it and for it to give you direction or affirmation!  But, other people may reject and deny it.  Our culture overall does not do well accepting this kind of experience.

The good news, however, is you see people here in this thread accepting your experience!

Whether it was Jesus or not is up to you.  It happened to you, not anyone else.  It was an experience, not something read in a book or watched on a screen.  You also determine if it is important that it was Jesus or not.  Try to listen just to your voice on this and not what other folks might want you to think or feel.  Don't worry about what you are "supposed" to think or feel.

That ^ is my personal take on it.

I've had two visionary, mystical experiences.  It is only recently that I have realized how lucky I was to have them.  I don't understand everything about them and I accept that.  Even the words I just used: "visionary, mystical" may not describe them well but they are all I have been able to come up with so far.

"I'm putting it out here because I don't want to be afraid anymore."  You've done it!

[Maddie]

Hi Madeleine!

Sometimes I get the feeling I should share things.  This can upset people.
Whatever happened to me, it sustained me for a long phase of life where I could see no path to change.
I believe that I'm now operating under a new covenant and my pass is transition forward until further notice.

Let me know sometime if u figure out your experiences, would u please hunny girl?

My leaves are wilty and brown this week.  But not worried.

[madeleine]

Hi Madeleine!

Sometimes I get the feeling I should share things.  This can upset people.
Whatever happened to me, it sustained me for a long phase of life where I could see no path to change.
I believe that I'm now operating under a new covenant and my pass is transition forward until further notice.

Let me know sometime if u figure out your experiences, would u please hunny girl?

My leaves are wilty and brown this week.  But not worried.

I'd say it's probably a good idea to be selective about who to tell.  And I think I know what you mean about holding on until you can think about change, I did that (without really knowing) for decades.

Your leaves will come back strong and green in time!

[Rachel]

Maddie, where have you been and how are you doing?? Any updates?

[Northern Star Girl]

@Maddie
Dear Maddie:
You last 2 posts has made me very, very sad.. and words escape me regarding anything reply that I could offer to make things better for you.

My ❤️ heart hurts for you and your situation that you described.
Right now any job is better than no job... I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers ... I am trusting that things will improve for you.

I am almost never lost for words but I am very saddened about what is happening as you described.

I give you all my HUGS and well wishes.
Please continue posting your updates on your blog journal and other forums threads, but only as you feel comfortable sharing.

All of your followers including me are always your biggest fans and we wish you happiness and success in your life’s journey.

HUGS HUGS HUGS
Thinking of you always.
DANIELLE

[Maddie]

Removed them because I think I had too.
Wanted to share but it all can and will be used against us.

Dont want anything coming for me from above

Never find more trouble than when you ask for help

[Northern Star Girl]

@Maddie

Please Hang in there...
...you will hopefully find help in the following LINK

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,238255.0.html

Danielle

Removed them because I think I had too.
Wanted to share but it all can and will be used against us.

Dont want anything coming for me from above

Never find more trouble than when you ask for help