Author Topic: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes  (Read 17238 times)

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Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #620 on: May 30, 2020, 09:01:00 am »
Trying not to give up.


Good for you Maddie  :)

I'd recommend the electrolysis lady (ex nurse) I used here, except she's retired now  :) it's a most long and difficult road to facial smoothness, and good luck finding someone you can work with.

Hope your day is going well

C

kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #621 on: May 30, 2020, 09:13:50 am »
I think I'm going to try a third opinion at Precision hair removal in Wilmette IL.  It's like 4 hrs from here. 
If that is another dead end, I may pack my car and figure it out wherever I land.

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #622 on: May 30, 2020, 10:58:07 am »
I think I'm going to try a third opinion at Precision hair removal in Wilmette IL.  It's like 4 hrs from here.

Wow... would that be sustainable?

I don't think it would be for me! - E
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: "kind of" started 15 Jul 2020
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
Twitch streamer MusicEllie

Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #623 on: May 30, 2020, 11:56:58 am »
No, but I heard good things about them Ellie :)
If that's the way I go, there's no doubt a vacant apartment closer.
Many towns that way.

Plan to move, not run. 

Stop turn around 
Rewire the things stalling me.
Clean house
Keep on changing

Sometimes these days I want to throw my phone into the trees.  Even if it is my connection.

Watching what's coming up on it's own in the "garden"
None too promising, maybe a cilantro?  It's cute

Offline Ellie_Arroway

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #624 on: May 30, 2020, 01:15:16 pm »
No, but I heard good things about them Ellie :)
If that's the way I go, there's no doubt a vacant apartment closer.
Many towns that way.

Plan to move, not run. 

Ah, that makes sense! - E
Started seriously questioning: 24 Aug 2019
Referred to GIC: 23 Sep 2019
Full-time female presentation since: 21 Oct 2019, unbroken since 12 Dec 2019
Official name change by deed poll: 11 Nov 2019
HRT: "kind of" started 15 Jul 2020
Most of my story is in the Just another mtf tale thread!
Twitch streamer MusicEllie

Offline Wendi

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #625 on: May 30, 2020, 02:15:36 pm »
My electrologist was charging $60 for an hour. I like her but when the virus hit she stopped. It's about 50 minutes away. I believe she's open back up but I haven't scheduled any more time with her.

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Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #626 on: May 30, 2020, 02:33:20 pm »
My electrologist was charging $60 for an hour. I like her but when the virus hit she stopped. It's about 50 minutes away. I believe she's open back up but I haven't scheduled any more time with her
$60/hr is same price I was paying for electro.
Wendi, do you know what method they were using on your face (Thermo, blend, galvanic?)

I will now require that a tech be good with curly hair follicle roots that sometimes aren't even close to straight down.

Offline Wendi

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #627 on: May 30, 2020, 02:48:55 pm »
$60/hr is same price I was paying for electro.
Wendi, do you know what method they were using on your face (Thermo, blend, galvanic?)

I will now require that a tech be good with curly hair follicle roots that sometimes aren't even close to straight down.
I believe it was a blend method.

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Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #628 on: May 30, 2020, 10:04:34 pm »
Sorry still sorting my middle age reboot on this public thread.  It's taking a while. 

My life is so compartmentalized I forget I have other experience
Concrete, landscaper, painter, roofing, siding, insulator, sawyer, scrapyard, demolition, warehouse, more.
Hard work has not been the problem.  Heights can be.
I suffer from a lack of common sense, and a need to be directed.
Stress management.  The inevitable social prying out of what a sissy I am, and my place in the group.
Or acting like a psycho, but not entirely an act. And defense.

It might be less stressful to work with crews now, especially if I totally own who I am. 
Might help the more i resemble who I am.  Or not!

Entertainment strangely was easy to get work. Lots of it. Any time I put myself to it.   I don't even think I'm that good. 
Non essential now!!  Grateful I didn't spend months booking myself for this year! 
Sucks to let it go away now, but I'm not sure the market clamors for my current presentation.

And I'm kind of a techphobe.  It is a problem.
I might do ok dealing with people on the phone as a call center or similiar, but I don't know anything about that industry.

Stay healthy everybody

Offline davina61

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #629 on: May 31, 2020, 02:28:00 am »
So with all those talents/experience what about starting you own handy person business ?
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #630 on: May 31, 2020, 04:15:05 am »
Thank you that is a logical suggestion!
Unfortunately I'm not handy  ;)   
I really have no common sense and need to be told every step of the way what to do. Even jobs I've done repeatedly.  No eye for what's going on and how to get it done..  At best a desire to comply and please the man I'm working for.
Was a fish out of water in all those jobs and rarely lasted long with any employer.
The only thing that stuck was performing music, something that is kept a hobby by most sane people.

It is  true I did stuff and learned a little.
Might do ok if I figured a way to specialize  in something with a demand, and just know those tasks really well.

« Last Edit: May 31, 2020, 08:53:44 am by Maddie »

Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #631 on: May 31, 2020, 04:38:36 am »
Oh God.  Seeing news.
Glad I'm not in the inner city anymore.

Hope you're not caught up in the riots

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #632 on: May 31, 2020, 07:01:11 am »
Oh God.  Seeing news.
Glad I'm not in the inner city anymore.

Hope you're not caught up in the riots

My take away from watching our local coverage of downtown Seattle last night, there are essentially two groups, first the peaceful and organized protestors, and then you had the anarchists that are exploiting the situation for no good. They move in amongst the peaceful protestors, looting and causing destruction that solves nothing, and simply causing more pain for businesses that are already closed because of the virus. The message is lost in the violence, feels and smells like '68 again...

what a mess,

Anyway good morning Maddie, hope you are staying well and safe.



kindness is love nurturing your soul....

Offline Wendi

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #633 on: May 31, 2020, 07:14:11 am »
It's sickening how African American people are still treated in our world.

I was going to go to a demonstration today to support George Floyd but I've reconsidered because of the violence that is popping up at many demonstrations.

It's so sad. I can't imagine living in this world as a human with color.

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Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #634 on: June 01, 2020, 10:05:38 am »
On the block for this week

Will ask three  specific people I personally know (and get me as I am now) who may be able to help my employment situation.

Meet with HRT doctor and get blood draw and figure my levels out

Follow-up and contact two clinics for hair removal that I've been referred to.  Will arrange consults and get expert opinions on the work that has been done on my face to this point, and assess the damage to my skin.

Phone or vid appts with not one but 2 counselors.  One is writing one of my letters of readiness for SRS.  The other gave me a psych type workbook a couple years ago that I've been painfully working through during the shutdown.

Sing with a band that is rehearsing for their first time in months.  They are in the same city as the Drs blood lab.  One runs a property maintenance business that I have worked for  (didn't really work out, he usually just employs struggling addicts).  Two of the band guys knew me as another person, but seem ok with me now.  The others don't know me.  Probably just a oneshot for me, as I'm generally trying to avoid that city these days. 
I might wear a wig to rehearsal :)


Offline randim

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #635 on: June 01, 2020, 10:08:40 am »
Wow, That's quite a full plate.  Those are all big steps, and good luck with all of them.  You are going to be a tired girl by the end of the week.

Offline Wendi

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #636 on: June 01, 2020, 10:44:57 am »
That sounds like good steps especially because they already accept you as you are.

Good luck!

Hugs

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Online Rachel

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #637 on: June 05, 2020, 07:13:25 pm »
Hi Maddie,

I am glad you have a plan. The plan may change but it is important to have goals and put them into action. I think it frees an energy.

Electrolysis
I have gone to 4 different people. The first I had 250 hours and it was blend and ok. I had 13 or so 4 hour sessions with numbing on my upper and lower lip area. I had perhaps 100 hours from another person on my left side of face and 75 hours on my right side.

I had my first session in 3 months Tuesday and I need to schedule additional sessions with the other person. Electrolysis takes time and I think it is important to go to different people and see how effective they are. 

Offline Maddie

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #638 on: June 23, 2020, 05:34:16 pm »
My plan keeps changing.
Plan was to be gone from here.  Now there are plants in the pots again.

My blood levels for E are much better/lower.  I am gratefully blessed with excellent health.

Weight loss remains top of list.  Was within 5 lbs of my final goal, and now back up 10 from there.  Nothing changed except adding progesterone.  Must be that.  It's a struggle, but glad to be where I'm at today. 
Running, core, and small weight exercises.

I had this idea that I could be a waitress...

Watering bucket list
Avoiding webs

Sang with a band at informal house practice.  Mix of guys I know and those I don't.    They are not good but it was fun and went well for me.  I'm finding a range and tone that is high and cuts through the sonic mess. No strain, no pain.  I wore a skirt and makeup because I like to lead with the skirt when I meet new people.  For clarity. 
I'm going back to town this weekend to sing with them again, most likely in jeans, t-shirt, and 3 day stubble for electro.

My mom and dad drove up and visited me.  For various reasons, this was their first time ever to my place since I moved out of theirs in 1989.  They know my new name and HRT trans path.  But to them I am son they named.  I have respect.  I toned my act a little, and made lunch.  We took a walk. It was a peaceful special time.

Electro/laser: I made two consult appts.  The 2nd is next Monday in IL.  Laser is another story.  I got frustrated with the only place in WI that has the laser I'm told will work on me.  So I cancelled.  It's crazy prohibitively expensive there anyway.  My old electro from past five years no longer returns my calls to book.  Long story.  I've done what I can to smooth that out.  It's quite possibly for the better.  Ive had 12 laser sessions and 100 hours of face thermo electro but not all that far along yet.  Possible long term damage from the electro tech I was with.  And I have dark hair remaining that should've been cleared by the laser.

Focus on weight loss and money for electro.
Distractions include attention from guys. 
It's ok.  I think.

Fern, ivy and cactus from the past
Cilantro and spearmint and purple flowers now
Cherry tomatoes and green beans on the horizon


Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Ms Maddie's Garden of Changes
« Reply #639 on: June 23, 2020, 05:55:53 pm »
@Maddie
Dear Maddie:
I so very much enjoyed your terrific and positive update.

I have not "seen" you so happy and content for a long time...
...certainly you are doing better and I am glad for you!!!

In my opinion you did exactly the right thing by "toning it down a little" when your mom and dad visited.
No matter what, your parents will always be your parents, respect is the right move, you do not want any regrets later in life.

When you have a moment it would be nice to see some photos of your garden now that things are blooming again.

Stay safe, stay healthy.

HUGS and best wishes as always,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

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