Author Topic: Coming out - the first step is done!  (Read 967 times)

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Offline thornbird11

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Coming out - the first step is done!
« on: July 01, 2019, 05:42:19 pm »
Hey there,

today was a very special day for me. I did the first step in coming out of the closet.

I'm AFAB and consider myself a non-binary/genderqueer androgyne with a strong masculine side that I suppressed for so many years. I am still not sure, if my masculine side will ever be strong enough to take me for a male. We will see what future brings.

Anyway, since I understood that I'm not the female I always tried to be two years have passed. I never told anyone, neither my family nor my friends. I was too afraid of rejection.

To this day!

I have this close friend who makes her money as a social worker and I thought that as a social worker she's probably liberal enough to understand my situation. So today I gathered all my courage and came out to her. I told her that I think I'm not 100 % female and that I consider myself as an androgyne. I was REALLY nervous and so afraid that this "confession" might ruin our frienship. But it didn't. Her reaction was very kind and she offered me her help. "If you need someone to talk about this, you can always contact me", she said. I was sooo relieved, I just wanted to hug her tight.  ;D

The next step will be that I tell my therapist about my thoughts regarding my gender identity. That'll probably happen in September, because I won't see my therapist earlier. Keep your finger's crossed for me …

Summerly greetings from Germany,
Mim



"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me."
(Carol Burnett)

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2019, 05:46:43 pm »
@thornbird11
Well now, this is great news to read.... 
....I am so glad that you were warmly accepted with your "first step"...

It gets easier each time you come out,
but do know that there will be pitfalls along the way
so stay confident and self-assured as you continue on.

Thanks for sharing you good report... please continue to keep us all updated.

HUGS,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline Lexxi

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2019, 05:48:03 pm »
Hi Thornbird,

Congratulations on this HUGE step!! I'm sure you felt like the weight of the world was lifted off your shoulders. I recently came out to my doctor, my therapist, and 7 members of my family that I'm MTF, and it went perfectly. I'll be starting my HRT in just 9 days!!

It feels great when we finally allow ourselves to be our real selves doesn't it?

xoxo
Lexxi
Finally started the process of becoming the real me! 5/20/19
Came out online 5/20/19
First time coming out face to face 6/3/19
First therapist appointment for HRT 6/3/19
Got my letter for HRT 6/10/19
Came out to my mom 6/18/19
Started HRT 7/12/19

Offline thornbird11

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #3 on: July 02, 2019, 08:24:53 am »
@Alaskan Danielle

Thank you! :) Yeah I hope that it gets easier with time. This first step was really tough, but I am so relieved and glad that I did it. Certainly, I will keep you all updated.

@Lexxi

Thank you! :) Yes, absolutely, it took a load off my mind. Congratulations on coming out to your doctor, therapist and family members. I'm so glad to hear it went perfectly. I'm sure you are very excited to start your HRT, aren't you?

And yes, it definitely feels great to finally allow myself to show my masculine side.

Love,
Mim
"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me."
(Carol Burnett)

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2019, 09:50:20 am »
Congratulations Thornbird!


That is terrific!  The first steps are the hardest.


Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline thornbird11

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2019, 05:25:30 pm »
Thank you, Chrissy :)

Yes, I really hope it gets easier with time.

Mim
"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me."
(Carol Burnett)

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #6 on: July 02, 2019, 06:18:51 pm »
Thank you, Chrissy :)

Yes, I really hope it gets easier with time.

Mim
@thornbird11
Dear Mim:
Yes, as you continue with your coming-out endeavors it will get easier as you chart your way as to how to verbalize your personal story to others...   but please understand that there will be times that you get confronted by non-accepting people, friends and even family that will not make it easy for you....
... continue on with confidence and self-assurance in those difficult times.

Best of luck to you.
Best Wishes,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 41

Offline ReyOfStarshine

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #7 on: July 02, 2019, 06:25:31 pm »
Congrats!

It has been so scary every time I have talked with somebody, and I have nearly always ended up crying at some point in the process. But people have been very understanding. Even and perhaps especially the people I was most scared to talk to. That's not a guarantee that all conversations will go like that. But getting more comfortable in telling my story in the way that I want to do so has helped.

I'm so glad your first conversation went well. That's the scariest moment of all after holding those feelings inside for so long.

Wishing you all the very best!

Offline Lexxi

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #8 on: July 02, 2019, 08:12:38 pm »
@Lexxi

Thank you! :) Yes, absolutely, it took a load off my mind. Congratulations on coming out to your doctor, therapist and family members. I'm so glad to hear it went perfectly. I'm sure you are very excited to start your HRT, aren't you?
Love,
Mim

Oh Mim I'm beyond excited!! It hasn't been that long ago that I finally made the decision to transition. In fact I came out on May 20th for the first time. I was in therapy about a week later I think. My therapist made me have 3 sessions before she'd write my recommendation letter. However she diagnosed me with gender dysphoria before the first session was complete. July 10th was the first appointment I could get with a doctor who prescribes the hormones. I most certainly would have started sooner if I could have gotten a quicker appointment.

I feel sorry for a lot of the other members here who very often have to wait for a year or two before they can begin HRT. That's not right or fair!

So I count myself very lucky that I only have 8 more days to wait.  ;)

xoxo
Lexxi
Finally started the process of becoming the real me! 5/20/19
Came out online 5/20/19
First time coming out face to face 6/3/19
First therapist appointment for HRT 6/3/19
Got my letter for HRT 6/10/19
Came out to my mom 6/18/19
Started HRT 7/12/19

Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2019, 08:16:45 pm »
Oh Mim I'm beyond excited!! It hasn't been that long ago that I finally made the decision to transition. In fact I came out on May 20th for the first time. I was in therapy about a week later I think. My therapist made me have 3 sessions before she'd write my recommendation letter. However she diagnosed me with gender dysphoria before the first session was complete. July 10th was the first appointment I could get with a doctor who prescribes the hormones. I most certainly would have started sooner if I could have gotten a quicker appointment.

I feel sorry for a lot of the other members here who very often have to wait for a year or two before they can begin HRT. That's not right or fair!

So I count myself very lucky that I only have 8 more days to wait.  ;)

xoxo
Lexxi


Lexxi,

Eight days will go by quickly.   :).

Chrissy
Be a good example of good behavior.  Always be kinder than needed.  Be tender to others.  You are as beautiful as the thoughts you think and the words that your speak.   Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding.  Knowledge and action shown without love is not impressive.  If you look for the good in people you will find it. Healthy relationships are so important to good living.  Serve others.

Good living, joy, unity, love, and happiness can come from following these practices: Never let selfishness or conceit motivate you.  Regard others as more important than yourself.  Do not limit attention to only your interests, but include the interests of others

It is not usually about how fast you transition, it is about how well you transition.  

Offline Lexxi

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #10 on: July 02, 2019, 08:31:41 pm »
I sure hope so Chrissy!! So far it's seemed like it's taking forever, lol. But I've been working on myself in the mean time. I'm down 12 pounds so far, and my nail painting skills are on point.  ;D

Lexxi
Finally started the process of becoming the real me! 5/20/19
Came out online 5/20/19
First time coming out face to face 6/3/19
First therapist appointment for HRT 6/3/19
Got my letter for HRT 6/10/19
Came out to my mom 6/18/19
Started HRT 7/12/19

Offline thornbird11

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #11 on: July 03, 2019, 03:51:55 pm »
@thornbird11
Dear Mim:
Yes, as you continue with your coming-out endeavors it will get easier as you chart your way as to how to verbalize your personal story to others...   but please understand that there will be times that you get confronted by non-accepting people, friends and even family that will not make it easy for you....
... continue on with confidence and self-assurance in those difficult times.

Best of luck to you.
Best Wishes,
Danielle



Thank you, Danielle. Actually, my biggest fear is not that they don't accept me as a non-binary, but that they don't know or believe that non-binary gender identities exist. Here in Germany it's still not really established that there are genders "between" male and female. I think it would be easier for those people to accept that I'm FTM than non-binary. But well, we will see ...

Congrats!

It has been so scary every time I have talked with somebody, and I have nearly always ended up crying at some point in the process. But people have been very understanding. Even and perhaps especially the people I was most scared to talk to. That's not a guarantee that all conversations will go like that. But getting more comfortable in telling my story in the way that I want to do so has helped.

I'm so glad your first conversation went well. That's the scariest moment of all after holding those feelings inside for so long.

Wishing you all the very best!


Thank you! :) It's nice to hear that you made mainly positive experiences with your coming out. I know it's not a guarantee but maybe I'll be lucky and my friends and family are more understanding than I think. And yes, with time I'll figure out the right words to say. I guess, that will help a lot, too.

Oh Mim I'm beyond excited!! It hasn't been that long ago that I finally made the decision to transition. In fact I came out on May 20th for the first time. I was in therapy about a week later I think. My therapist made me have 3 sessions before she'd write my recommendation letter. However she diagnosed me with gender dysphoria before the first session was complete. July 10th was the first appointment I could get with a doctor who prescribes the hormones. I most certainly would have started sooner if I could have gotten a quicker appointment.

I feel sorry for a lot of the other members here who very often have to wait for a year or two before they can begin HRT. That's not right or fair!

So I count myself very lucky that I only have 8 more days to wait.  ;)

xoxo
Lexxi

Wow, Lexxi, that's really great. I hope that the 8 days will fly. So good that you can start with your HRT so quickly. That's awesome! :)
"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me."
(Carol Burnett)

Offline Wendi

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #12 on: July 04, 2019, 08:24:15 am »
Congratulations Mim. I know from first hand that it's not an easy task but I've that has to be done.

It takes courage and you've got that girl. Good luck with future discussions.

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk

Started HRT 1/3/2019




Offline thornbird11

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #13 on: July 05, 2019, 04:45:12 pm »
Congratulations Mim. I know from first hand that it's not an easy task but I've that has to be done.

It takes courage and you've got that girl. Good luck with future discussions.

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk



Thank you, Wendi :)
"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me."
(Carol Burnett)

Offline jushere2019

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #14 on: August 18, 2019, 02:14:19 pm »
Congrats!! I hope I receive that same response **fingers crossed**

Hey there,

today was a very special day for me. I did the first step in coming out of the closet.

I'm AFAB and consider myself a non-binary/genderqueer androgyne with a strong masculine side that I suppressed for so many years. I am still not sure, if my masculine side will ever be strong enough to take me for a male. We will see what future brings.

Anyway, since I understood that I'm not the female I always tried to be two years have passed. I never told anyone, neither my family nor my friends. I was too afraid of rejection.

To this day!

I have this close friend who makes her money as a social worker and I thought that as a social worker she's probably liberal enough to understand my situation. So today I gathered all my courage and came out to her. I told her that I think I'm not 100 % female and that I consider myself as an androgyne. I was REALLY nervous and so afraid that this "confession" might ruin our frienship. But it didn't. Her reaction was very kind and she offered me her help. "If you need someone to talk about this, you can always contact me", she said. I was sooo relieved, I just wanted to hug her tight.  ;D

The next step will be that I tell my therapist about my thoughts regarding my gender identity. That'll probably happen in September, because I won't see my therapist earlier. Keep your finger's crossed for me …

Summerly greetings from Germany,
Mim

Offline thornbird11

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Re: Coming out - the first step is done!
« Reply #15 on: September 25, 2019, 08:02:51 pm »
Congrats!! I hope I receive that same response **fingers crossed**


Thank you! I keep my fingers crossed for you.  ;)
"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me."
(Carol Burnett)